January 29, 2004

If These Dogs Could Talk

An early IM conversation between two tired people.

Me: Did you get your TiVo hooked up yet?
Her: No. I'm still waiting for the wireless thing.
Me: Oh.
Her: But TiVo is the greatest invention ever.
Me: You know that already?
Her: Yep. Followed by IM.
Me: I can go with that.
Her: Then text messaging.
Me: How about computers? I mean, everything runs on them.
Her: No. Computers are boring.
Me: You work with computers.
Her: I know. Oh! And another good invention - those things that translate what your dog says.
Me: No, I definitely don't agree with that.
Her: Why not?
Me: Well, what if you find out your dog's really an asshole? I mean, do you really need to know that?
Her: Okay. I guess you're right.
Me: Like you get home after a long day at work and your dog says, "feed me you prick, I'm fucking hungry, dumbass." You don't need to hear that coming from your dog.
Her: Yeah. I'm with you. I take that back.

Posted by Chris at January 29, 2004 10:10 AM

Thats funny shit!


Posted by: dewnut at January 29, 2004 10:28 AM

My my, for an early-morning tired conversation, you've a filthy mouth


Posted by: Marie at January 29, 2004 10:39 AM

You notice no one bothered to make a cat translation thingie? That's because we already know cats are aloof a$$holes.

But I love them.

(btw, Get Fuzzy is the best example of what dogs and cats would really say if they could)

Posted by: Alicia at January 29, 2004 10:43 AM

I will agree, though - IM and Text Messaging are two of the greatest inventions ever. Not having cable means I really have no use whatsoever for Tivo, though.

Posted by: Tara at January 29, 2004 11:52 AM

hahahaha thats dead funny!
my dog would say..."for fucks sake try and take me for a walk once in a while"

Posted by: Fluffy at January 29, 2004 12:00 PM

I've been planning on buying one of those for my Great Dane, I can only imagine what he has to say.

Posted by: Theresa at January 29, 2004 12:13 PM

hahaha that's hillarious.

Posted by: Jaded Angel at January 29, 2004 12:51 PM

I must be IMing the wrong people...nobody ever says anything that fucking foul or brilliant to me.

Posted by: amalah at January 29, 2004 12:55 PM

Conversations like these are shining examples of the fabulousness of IM.

Posted by: Heather at January 29, 2004 1:15 PM

Hmm, if they did make one of those things for cats, I don't think Curtis and I would get along. Especially while I'm watching my sister's cat, who he seems to despise. = I agree with you though; I don't even WANT to know what my dumb dog is thinking!

Posted by: Jennie at January 29, 2004 1:40 PM

I would like to have a my-bunny-says-translator. Those little animals do not express their feelings in any way!

Posted by: Sweety at January 29, 2004 3:19 PM

Pfft I don't need a translator to know what my dogs are thinking. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy! FOOD!"
"Oh boy oh boy oh boy! WALK!"
"Oh boy oh boy oh boy! PET ME!"
"Oh boy am I knackered... sleep... yawn"

Posted by: pie at January 29, 2004 3:32 PM

I really, REALLY don't want to know what Mr. Cat is yelling at 3 am.

I bet the cute little dog down the hall is saying "stand still, I can't pee on your leg while you're moving!"

See? Didn't want to know. :)

Posted by: Olive at January 29, 2004 7:27 PM

That was rather hilarious :)

This is my first time around here and i'm not done browsing, but so far so good ;)

Posted by: Katie at January 29, 2004 10:26 PM

I know that's what Eule says to me all the time "Oh my god, are you a frickin' moron? I'm telling you I'm WASTING away!" I think Jack usually tries to stick up for us a little bit, like he's a big brown noser.

Posted by: Del at January 30, 2004 12:02 PM


Posted by: Rachel in Alaska at February 1, 2004 12:26 AM


Posted by: Rachel in Alaska at February 1, 2004 12:26 AM