February 17, 2004

Why I'm Tired This Morning

What happened is going to be obvious as soon as I start the story...

Around 2:00 this morning, I awoke to a startling absence of cats on the bed from a dream in which my alarm clock was going off. I wasn't sure exactly what was going on until I heard a sharp chirping sound. I waited and sure enough it happened about every 30 seconds. It didn't take long before I knew what it was - the smoke detector. Apparently the battery wasn't in good shape.

It took me a second to noodle through the proper course of action but I eventually settled on a chair and climbed up to try and remove the smoke detector. Easier said than done. I struggled with it for a couple minutes and I distinctly recall leaving a piece of it dangling from the ceiling. I don't think it was designed to come off like that.

Once down, I pulled the battery out and headed back to the bedroom. And the damn thing started chirping again! (I know - this seems oddly reminiscent of that Friends episide in which the same thing happened to Phoebe.) So, I go back and pick up the detector and start pressing all the buttons I can find. It chirps, I press a button, it chirps again, I say something like "die, fucker" and it chirps, I press a button, it chirps, "fuck you too" I yell in a whisper, it chirps. This, the epic struggle between man and smoke detector, goes on for a couple minutes until I noticed that the chirps were slowing down and becoming lower in volume. I had it. Right where I wanted it. So I pressed the button again...and it went completely apeshit on me. It let out a long series of fast, loud chips until it finally ran out of steam. I tossed it over my shoulder and went back to bed.

It only occurred to me this morning that, the entire time I was fighting with this satanic smoke detector, I was right in front of a 4 foot high window overlooking my neighborhood. Wearing nothing. Yelling at a smoke detector. Luckily it was 2:00 in the morning.

Posted by Chris at February 17, 2004 7:59 AM

Nooooo! At around 11 pm, our carbon monoxide detector went off with the same strage piercing beepy drive you out of your gourd and make your ears bleep sound. I was sitting in the dark at the computer, trying to be quiet and when it went off I nearly fell out of my chair as I spun to get up. What time zone are you in? I have a creepy feeling you are three hours ahead...

By the by, why do we even have one of those?? It has to be left over from when our oldest was a baby--no one but a freaky first-time parent puts one of those hulking things in an outlet in the baby's room. Second, why is is sooooo hard to turn them off? I finally had to slap it out of the socket and send it clattering to the floor.

Posted by: Mindy at February 17, 2004 9:05 AM

Oh man! That is the funniest damn thing I have read in a while.

Posted by: FN at February 17, 2004 9:44 AM

At least it didn't happen on *Monday* ;)

Posted by: Tara at February 17, 2004 10:06 AM

Woo! Would have loved to have been the neighbor *grin* I'm usually awak at 2am *wink*

Posted by: Irma at February 17, 2004 11:32 AM

Hehehe. Why do the fuckers always go off in the middle of the night??? The only time I have personally had to fight one was when I burnt some toast in our old apartment. They really ought to make special quieter ones for apartments. I mean our apartment was about 9 feet square (ok that is a slight exaggeration) and that brain-liquifying chirp could have been hear 30 miles away.

Posted by: gesikah at February 17, 2004 11:35 AM

Hee ! Reminds me of the Tostito's commercial where tenants are all stuck in the elevator and the one girl says to one of the men "You live in [insert apt. #] You should think about closing your blinds". Let's also hope that a group of 20-30 somethings don't live across the street from you and have dubbed you "Crazy Nekkid Duckie".

Related story: Our carbon Monoxide detector went off last fall in the middle of the night. It was really scary to wake up to that. Even funnier trying to find clothes to put on. Here we were, family of three (the cat refused to budge from her bed) are on the porch with the fire department (lights a blazin'). Turns out it was a faulty detector and our builders got in shit, and had to replace it.

Posted by: Kimmie at February 17, 2004 12:27 PM

You owe me a monitor cleaning. :: points at the coffee spilling down ::

Thanks for the laugh, I needed it. : D

Posted by: Theresa at February 17, 2004 12:36 PM

so weird. go read my latest entry at my site, and you'll see what i mean.

Posted by: tiffanie at February 17, 2004 12:37 PM

i know that there're other words on the screen, but you were wearing nothing??

that's one remake of pretty in pink i'd like to see.

Posted by: Marie at February 17, 2004 1:44 PM

hehe you should take a leaf from my dad's book. He wanders around his house naked all the time and says that he's not worried about people looking in because "who is he to deny people the pleasure of seeing him naked?".

I think he should pay for the therapy I'm going to need.

Posted by: pie at February 17, 2004 1:58 PM

well it looks like everyone else beat me to what I could have said... so I'll just smile. you know what I'm thinking. :D

Posted by: Jessica at February 17, 2004 5:51 PM

Where were the cats?

Posted by: Amber at February 17, 2004 6:15 PM


Posted by: Maureen at February 17, 2004 9:42 PM

LMAO :)))) THAT is so funny :) That's comedy material :)

Posted by: Sweety at February 18, 2004 3:01 AM

OMG! That is by far the funniest thing I have read in awhile. That kill's me.


Posted by: Maurice at February 19, 2004 11:58 AM