March 17, 2004

A Guest Entry by Miss Doxie

Instead of 101 Things About Me, I think I will provide you with Eleven Things I am Not. Prepare yourselves. We all know how creative I am feeling today (not very).

And here we go!

1. I am not Nordic. A girl can be blonde and not be Nordic, people. Do I look like a Swede to you? Yes? Oh.

2. I am not drinking coffee right now. Mostly this is because the coffee machine is broken. But also it is because I am drinking a diet Coke. Beautiful, life-giving Diet Coke! When did you become my best friend in the world?

3. I am not wearing clothing that matches. Sadly, I do this all the time. I put on an outfit that matches. And then I put on a coat that doesn't. And I think, "It won't matter. No one will really see it. I'll take it off when I get inside." But then, guess what. It gets cold in my office. And then I have to wear the coat. Did I mention it was a red coat? Did I mention that I have paired this with a pink shirt? Welcome to my office. Did you want to go blind today? Dandy!

4. I am also not wearing green. Oops. No pinching! I'll blind you!

5. I am not happy with the state of my desk. Someone come clean it, please. No one in the world needs this many post-its.

6. I am not pleased with my email inbox. There used to be a time when people emailed me all day. They would say nice things. Now I get approximately eleventy million emails per hour, but they are all from FREEKYGURL4JESUS! and they all contain a virus. Thanks, Freekygurl. Your spelling is so creative and fresh. So, what would Jesus do, according to you? Apparently, he would send me a fucking virus. Anyway, I am not happy about my inbox.

7. I am not able to think of a number seven.

8. I am not male. Please do not ask me if I want to enlarge my penis anymore. You're beginning to hurt my feelings, Freekygurl.

9. I am not excited about lunch. I usually love lunch! But today I'm just not feeling it.

10. I am not sure how to use moveable type. But the font sure is pretty. Wonder if I'll ever figure out how to post this? I'm betting on "no."

11. I am not able to think of a number eleven, either. Oh, well. It's not like I'm getting paid for this.

And those are the things I are not. For more information about what I are, you should direct all questions to freekygurl4Jesus. She knows me so well, it's almost...almost...freeky.

Posted by at March 17, 2004 11:57 AM

I am a fellow diet coke swilling, non green wearing, non mt using, girl who is also tired of getting pen!s enlargement spam too...come on people....

Posted by: Amy at March 17, 2004 12:10 PM

12. You don't like watching paint dry.

13. Or bugs.

14. Especially in your hair.

Posted by: Whitney Houston-Brown at March 17, 2004 12:17 PM

Okay. See? The fact that freakygurl thinks MissDoxie needs a penise enlargement made me splatter soy sauce and rice all over my freakin' keyboard. See? Its like the "spewed coke" for the sushi-generation.

Posted by: Zoot at March 17, 2004 12:59 PM

JESUS LOVES YOU! THIS VIRUS IS FROM JESUS! Also, small penises make JESUS cry! Low-cost Viagra is a gift from JESUS!

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