March 17, 2004

Oh the temptation

Today is the first time I found Chris' blog.. Poor guy, having me stumble here of all days.. What should I talk about? How I forgot to put my children in green today and knowing they will come home covered in bruises from being pinched by mean kids at school? Or perhaps, how Louise has this sick fetish involving role playing that she is Dr Phil and Rob is Oprah?

Naw, I think I will share my favorite story.. of events that happened on Halloween last Fall.

Yesterday (which was actually almost 5 months ago) I had my check back appointment to see how I have been doing on the Paxil CR. You know, the usual, weight, blood pressure, how are you feeling stuff. Well, one of my issues is hallucinating. I used to hear voices inside my head when I was a teenager but now I just think I hear people calling me when no one is there. I sometimes see things- people or animals but when I look again they aren't there. For example, last week while driving the boys to school, I saw a very beautiful black and grey wolf on the side of the road right by the highway. I watched in horror as the car in front of me surely was going to hit it and swerved to avoid the mess or the wolf itself if it survived. Only to do a double take after i had swerved, to find nothing there.

This shit is pretty typical for me and others like me according to the doc. Anyway, yesterday he was asking me how I was doing and I said I was doing a little better I thought. He gave me a new prescription and I headed for the pharmacy.

As I walked in, I noticed a lady at the counter holding a baby girl. I headed towards her so that I could turn in my prescription, when the baby turned to me, and I stopped dead in my tracks. The little girl suddenly looked just like a monkey. I had never been close to a monkey, and I knew it was just my mind.. or the baby was very hairy and ugly. I told myself it was just my mind and to take a deep breath. I turned in my script, and started feeling ill. My pulse was racing and I couldn't breath. I was light headed and I could feel the sweat on my face.

The pharmacist kept asking me if I was ok, and I could hardly even talk. this ugly baby kept looking at me and smiling with a mouth full of ugly teeth and I just knew I was going to faint. Apparently, I was white as a sheet, and they were about ready to call someone from the clinic next door. So, I lean over to the pharmasist and explain that I have a small problem with hallucinations. She looked puzzled.

Me: Well, I have been trying to calm down, because I know it's just in my head, but that little girl ... *deep breath* looks just like a mo-

Pharmacist: Monkey?

Me: *gulp* yeah!

Pharmacist: It is a baby baboon. You aren't hallucinating.

Apparently, this lady who is much crazier than I, is raising this baboon "as her daughter". The thing was 15 months old and DRESSED as a person. She had on baby tennis shoes, frilly lace socks, floral print leggings and a white sweater, with a pink colored necklace. She had a baby blanket and a toy doll in her arms..

And, I'm the crazy one.

~Chubby Momma~

Posted by at March 17, 2004 10:50 AM