March 9, 2004

Wishful Email

Ever wished you could say what you really feel? I received the following email not long ago:

From: Edna Whinypants
To: Everyone Under The Sun
Subject: VIP Client Visit

As you may have heard, our very important client Bob Ferapples will be in the building today. Make sure you're on your best behavior and you're all wearing nice big smiles.


To which I wanted to respond...

From: Chris Cactus
To: Everyone Under The Sun But Especially Edna Whinypants
Subject: Re: VIP Client Visit

That's good information to have. Seriously, thanks for that. Cos we were all planning on giving each other wedgies in the hallways this morning. Not to mention the farting contest and the big ol' circle jerk. Oh, and I'll cancel that scrotal piercing I was going to have done in my office this afternoon. Do you think we should cancel the strippers? Bob Ferapples really might like some of that action. Tell him to bring plenty of ones. Do you think we can charge Bob for all that Jell-O we bought for the wrestling contest? I mean, that was pretty expensive and I don't want to pay for it out of pocket. Unless we can get the girls back tomorrow. As for smiling faces, I don't think you have to worry about that with all the sexually oriented and racist humor we all use constantly. We do love a fun work environment!


Posted by Chris at March 9, 2004 10:22 AM

see, now, this is why i always read your blog first thing in the morning.

Posted by: Marie at March 9, 2004 10:28 AM

I want to work there! It sound like a very *interesting* place to work. :-)

Posted by: Krush at March 9, 2004 10:35 AM

I DARE you to frown all day. Double dare you, ya' smartass.


Posted by: yvonne at March 9, 2004 10:35 AM

That's great. At least you said it to us. I'm glad. :)

Posted by: emily at March 9, 2004 10:38 AM

You know, if I were a client and visiting a company where everyone had big fake smiles plastered all over their faces...I'd be a little creeped out. Look out! It's the Stepford Contractors!

Posted by: amalah at March 9, 2004 10:49 AM

What does she think you all are- freaking eight year-olds?

Posted by: Kristi at March 9, 2004 11:25 AM

hyphothetical workplace scrotal piercings and circle jerks - does it get any funnier?

I do not think so.

Posted by: zoot at March 9, 2004 12:26 PM


Posted by: Cornelia at March 9, 2004 12:40 PM

LOL :))) Oh and would Bob Ferapples mind if my office roommate comes over to join the farting contest?

Posted by: Sweety at March 9, 2004 12:55 PM

You can never have too many strippers at work.

Posted by: pie at March 9, 2004 2:06 PM

Hey..I say just give the important client a wedgie...then line up for chair line dancing in the conference room.

Posted by: Amy at March 9, 2004 6:11 PM

LMAO! Yeah, your blog definatly cheers people up.

Posted by: Maureen at March 9, 2004 9:41 PM

You are terrible!!! I LOVE it!!! hahahahaaa

Posted by: Rachel in Alaska at March 10, 2004 10:18 PM