May 24, 2004

Notes From A Pointless Meeting

I just got out of a long, unnecessary meeting. I was writing some work-related stuff down but got sidetracked and wrote down a few observations. I present to you my thoughts, unedited.

  • Why am I here? I don't mean in the metaphysical sense. I mean, there's no freaking agenda or anything. 15 minutes in and I have no clue what this is about.
  • Russians! Russians everywhere!
  • Nancy Regan? How the hell did she get involved in this?
  • I'm fucking confused.
  • This is verbal masturbation at its finest.
  • Metrics! Metrics! Metrics! Why must we measure shit so much?
  • Dude, that big old Casio calculator watch from 1987 is so not cool anymore...if it ever was.
  • We have a client named F.U.? Too. Many. Jokes.
  • Paradigm. Let's put that on the list of words never to use again.
  • Granted, it was in a different context but never should the phrase, 'Am I going to get penetrated tomorrow?' be used in a meeting. Never.

Posted by Chris at May 24, 2004 3:49 PM

dude, tomorrow you will prolly have a meeting about today's meeting! haha! Gotta love it!

Have a good one!

Posted by: dewnut at May 24, 2004 3:52 PM

I vote the word "penetrate" should just never be used in ANY context. Ever. Period.

It's worse than "moist"

Posted by: yvonne at May 24, 2004 4:02 PM

hey Mindys back :D

Posted by: Fluffy at May 24, 2004 4:27 PM

Ew. What, pray tell, was the context?

Posted by: Fraulein N at May 24, 2004 4:30 PM

how about this context:

when you read Doonesbury,
you can see in the facial expressions
that Gary Trudeau
can really pen a trait...

you know,
they just nickel and paradigm you to death...

Posted by: stacy at May 24, 2004 6:48 PM

I gotta say, I can't even begin to imagine the context.

Also, I used to be so glad to be the only one in Management who knew shorthand for exactly those types of incredulous notes.

Posted by: HR Lady at May 24, 2004 8:06 PM

Dude, I don't even want to know who or what was being penetrated or doing the penetrating or why penetration was involved at all.

Yet, I'm sort of jealous, because my meetings? Never that amusing. I mean, F.U.? Penetrate? Priceless.

Posted by: Dawnie at May 24, 2004 8:45 PM

heh. you said 'penetrate.' heh. heh.

really--your meetings sound better than a Twilight Zone marathon. You should feel privileged.

Posted by: jilbur at May 25, 2004 1:34 AM

"This is verbal masturbation at its finest." Bwahahahaa great Chris, how can I attend another meeting today and not laugh.

Posted by: Sweety at May 25, 2004 3:08 AM

I was in a meeting a couple weeks ago where someone said, "I had a two-hour session with Dick." I think I permanently damaged my sinuses from trying to control the snorting laughter that was attempting to escape my nose.

Posted by: Casey at May 25, 2004 12:58 PM