June 24, 2004

Haiku Smackdown!

Welcome one and all to the Thursday Haiku Smackdown! Check out the pictures (below), go forth and be funny.

Posted by Chris at June 24, 2004 6:00 AM
Comments

Here's my first 'ku, I hope it's alright.

Old folks got real big,
Shrunk and walked away from me,
No more drugs today.

Did I do the syllables right? :)

Posted by: Heather at June 24, 2004 7:37 AM

Beautiful, Heather! :)
Hey Chris, would psycho cat be
Pixel or Callie?

And I'd like to know
What kind of drugs you gave it?
AAPA case? :P

Posted by: Chrissy at June 24, 2004 8:09 AM

Kitty says, "Whazzzaaap?"
Nobody told him that fad
Was over, poor thing.

Posted by: Fraulein N at June 24, 2004 8:13 AM

House was left intact
In Kobe earthquake, t'was the
Residents who "flipped"

Posted by: Chrissy at June 24, 2004 8:14 AM

Now see, her milkshake
Brings all the boys to the yard.
Please don't teach me, though.

Posted by: Fraulein N at June 24, 2004 8:15 AM

I can't help thinking
That car was crafted by the
Amish car dealers.

Posted by: Fraulein N at June 24, 2004 8:20 AM

Oh that's disgusting
The brunette Olsen twin seems
A bit corpulent

Posted by: Chrissy at June 24, 2004 8:41 AM

You'd think that her fame
Would inspire her to keep up
Her petite figure

(I'll go to Hell now:
MK's anorexic; I
Openly mock her)

Posted by: Chrissy at June 24, 2004 8:47 AM

Here's what I don't get:
How can you tell which one is
the skinny Olsen?

Posted by: Fraulein N at June 24, 2004 9:00 AM

Fraulein stole my ku!
Bad jokes about picking out
the skinny Olsen.

Shaq visits the beach
Residents are left to move
his giant foot spray (not pictured).

Posted by: Coleen at June 24, 2004 9:19 AM

I was going to ask
which Olsen twin's the fat one
but its obvious.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 9:31 AM

Here we see pictured
inspiration for the old
tune Cat Scratch Fever.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 9:32 AM

You know what they say
bout men and their shoe sizes.
Makes John Holmes look wee.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 9:33 AM

Is this the lady
From last week whose vagina
could inhale? What next?

Posted by: Sheryl at June 24, 2004 10:01 AM

Cat is a gremlin
Please don't add any water
One of them is bad.

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:01 AM

That is amazing
I think that her water broke
or tampon blew up!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:03 AM

Back to the future
Have you seen Doc and Einstien?
Play Johnny Be Good!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:07 AM

nancy regans new
just say no to sex campaign
gets blown wide open!

Posted by: kimberlee at June 24, 2004 10:07 AM

Footprints in the sand
Jesus must have some big feet
I love that poem.

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:08 AM

Is it so wrong that
I am in Haiku Smackdown
from the hospital??

Nope, no baby yet.
Petosin was just given.
hurry up and wait :-)

Posted by: Lee at June 24, 2004 10:09 AM

Would someone please check
For a witch under that house
Sincerely, Toto.

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:10 AM

Lee I am jealous
Does she look like girl in pic?
Please don't answer that!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:11 AM

Ashley is rebel.
Doesn’t care that toe polish
drives up scale number.

Posted by: Sheryl at June 24, 2004 10:24 AM

Want a piece of me?
Kitty say let's throw down yo!
So let's get it on!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:25 AM

A Delorean
Just a little bit rusty
Check the trunk for coke!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:28 AM

Wow the wolf meant it
He huffed and puffed and blew the
house right over, yo!

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 10:31 AM

One Olsen in flat
The other Olsen is too
Boob Job in future?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:32 AM

Water Olympics
A new event comes to life
The Orgasma Spray!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 10:34 AM

Okay now this car
Has the word lemon written
All over the place

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 10:34 AM

Architectural
style of Korean store is
extremely unique

I did not realize
Anti-gravity boots were
All the rage in Seoul.

Posted by: Sheryl at June 24, 2004 10:37 AM

I've heard about girls
like her, aiming in some porn
supposedly cool

Posted by: Autumn at June 24, 2004 10:38 AM

Alright, who's the wise
guy, put 'em up, put 'em up
I'll give ya a fight

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 10:39 AM

Ever have that not
So fresh feeling? This girl, does
not have that problem

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 10:41 AM

Welcome to the isle
of Lilliput, please watch where
you are stepping, yo.

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 10:45 AM

Damn, all the money
I spend on their closes for Goose.
GO BUY A BURGER!

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 10:47 AM

I'm such a loser
I couldn't remember how
to spell Lilliput

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 10:48 AM

Knew I shouldn't have
supersized that Diet Coke®--
Gotta let it loose.

Posted by: jilbur at June 24, 2004 10:54 AM

Demented feline
puts up her wee grey dukes, but
there are no takers.

Posted by: jilbur at June 24, 2004 10:55 AM

Cat is model for
Shrek’s Puss in boots. Illustrates
Jujitsu technique.

Posted by: Sheryl at June 24, 2004 10:55 AM

Cedar DeLorean
is well-crafted response to
noisome Hummer ad.

Posted by: jilbur at June 24, 2004 10:58 AM

Doc! Help! Something has
Gone horridly wrong with the
Flux Capacitor!

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:01 AM

oh damn. I knew it.
Contractors moving my house
are total fuckwits.

I had thought about
making a diagram, yo:
This Side UP, dumbass!

Posted by: jilbur at June 24, 2004 11:02 AM

The words the girls are
Standing on tell you which has
Eating Disorder.

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:03 AM

Would love to ‘ku more
but have date with husband,
first one in a while.

Lee, hope wife’s labor
is short, and new baby is
healthy. Congrats, yo.

Posted by: Sheryl at June 24, 2004 11:05 AM

Well, I for one am
Glad they caught that elusive
Rare Kangakitten.

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:05 AM

Mary-Kate Olsen
wanted so badly to be
Karen Carpenter

Now Ashley is stuck
modeling for "Hot Fountains
mag.: girls of the geyzer"

Posted by: GranolaSpice at June 24, 2004 11:06 AM

Dorothy's first attempt
At flying a house was not
Very successful.

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:11 AM

Archeologists
uncover prehistoric
Lambroghini. Yo

Posted by: Lee at June 24, 2004 11:14 AM

hospital visit
is awesome! Nurse Helen wants
to play smackdown yo

Posted by: Lee at June 24, 2004 11:20 AM

Women everywhere
have a new spokeswoman for
the anti wet spot

Posted by: Lee at June 24, 2004 11:26 AM

I can see it now
"I really need to push now"
Hang on we're 'kuing

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 11:27 AM

Here is a baby
photograph of Bloom County's
Bill the Cat, Achthppplblblblb Yo.

Posted by: Lee at June 24, 2004 11:29 AM

Moviegoers prepare
for new Fluffy Lee movie:
"Enter the Kitten".

Posted by: Coleen at June 24, 2004 11:29 AM

Do Bill the Cat Sounds
Count as one syllable or
as two syllables?

Posted by: Lee at June 24, 2004 11:30 AM

My wife says her feet
are just a little swollen.
Here's her footprint, yo!

Posted by: Lee at June 24, 2004 11:32 AM

You know what they say,
about guys with big footprints..
they dwarf "normal" guys.

Posted by: GranolaSpice at June 24, 2004 11:38 AM

The big bad wolf could
Blow that smokin' car down in
Just one huff and puff.

Posted by: Martha at June 24, 2004 11:47 AM

Girl with fountain is
an oxyclean-aholic
loves that fresh feeling

Posted by: GranolaSpice at June 24, 2004 11:49 AM

"Annie Sprinkle has
got nothing on me!" says blonde.
"I'm Annie GUSHER."

Posted by: Martha at June 24, 2004 11:52 AM

One pair of footprints
Where God CARRIED YOU along.
Inspirational!

Posted by: Martha at June 24, 2004 11:56 AM

God is freaking huge.
Good thing he carried you and
didn't step on you.

Posted by: Amalah at June 24, 2004 12:20 PM

Lee's baby girl is
coming...the first child of
Smackdown. Name her Ku!

Posted by: Amalah at June 24, 2004 12:22 PM

There's a pair of striped
stockings sticking out from that
house. Poor Courtney Love.

Posted by: Amalah at June 24, 2004 12:25 PM

That last 'ku made no
sense. I've had so much coffee
I look like that cat.

Posted by: Amalah at June 24, 2004 12:26 PM

If I hold my breath
until the shutter clicks, will
I appear thinner?

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 12:27 PM

Mary-Kate Olsen:
It's time to open your mouth
and put food in it.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:28 PM

That's one wigged out cat
Perhaps he's an attack cat
protecting our homes.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:29 PM

Blonde lady thinking
my irritated coochie
sure feels better now.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:33 PM

have a fence to build
wish it was already done
home owner I am

Posted by: LOUP at June 24, 2004 12:34 PM

Can you tell I am new at this -- I didn't even see the pictures LOL my bad.

Posted by: LOUP at June 24, 2004 12:35 PM

Here's to Lee & Wife
Planning to have a baby
on a Haiku day.

Blessings on you guys
no complications and a
healthy little girl!

And next to no pain!
A quick, healthy labour and
happiness always.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:39 PM

If I were Woodchuck,
a cedar delorian
would be my dream car.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:41 PM

LOUP, there are some rules
Follow them and you will make
a great haikuer.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:43 PM

What did we decide
about that weird guy who 'ku-ed
decidedly wrong?

Not the sonnet guy
but the one with the weird blog
Man-child, kid, challenged?

Some thought genius
but I thought not; we did scare
him off of haiku.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:47 PM

Only in Japan
a house with a purple roof
in bland neighborhood.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:48 PM

What do they do there?
You think it's a restaurant?
Serves upside-down cake.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 12:50 PM

nother try at ku
look at pix is the big rule
what a freaky cat

Posted by: LOUP at June 24, 2004 12:52 PM

A woodchipper made
Great Scott! A DeLorean?
Nice going, McFly

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 12:55 PM

MK's my homie
together we rock and roll
without me she'd puke

Posted by: Nurse Helen at June 24, 2004 12:57 PM

Dude, a spoiler
on a wooden car? And ground
effects? That's soooo rice.

Posted by: amalah at June 24, 2004 1:00 PM

Might need to explain
that one. Here's this week's Urban
Dictionary link.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rice&defid=85955

Posted by: amalah at June 24, 2004 1:02 PM

The roof! The roof! The
roof is on fire! Oh, no, wait,
it's just on the lawn.

Posted by: cynicalwoman at June 24, 2004 1:07 PM

Lured here by Miss Zoot
Giants, gushers, skinny twins:
Now scarred for life. Thanks!

Posted by: jenEx at June 24, 2004 1:08 PM

Quiznos and Subway
look-- ToGos new ad defines
"How big's a 'foot long'?"

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 1:08 PM

Only two footprints
After "carrying" guy he's all,
"You're on your OWN, bitch!"

Posted by: Lauren/New Jan Brady at June 24, 2004 1:09 PM

My desk disheveled
by some crazy unknown chick
on janitor team.

It's almost as though
I've been violated, yo.
the desk is sacred.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:15 PM

cynicalwoman's
roof 'ku just made me pee a
little. But not gush.

(So sorry. Ew.)

Posted by: amalah at June 24, 2004 1:16 PM

Now that they're eighteen
do they really have to dress
identically?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:18 PM

Shiz, trust me, I've worse
Remember, I live with mom
Nothing is sacred

Posted by: Chrissy at June 24, 2004 1:20 PM

Hey M-K & A!
We already get it, girls,
we KNOW you are twins.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:20 PM

No liv-ie with mom
It would take more fortitude
than I have right now.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:21 PM

Poor little pussy.
I guess that could apply to
two of the pictures.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:23 PM

The kitty-cat's scared
he thinks you're going to hurt him
he's from broken home.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:24 PM

I knew a psycho
kitty-cat who would cuddle
and purr while hissing.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:25 PM

Dude shows up for work
Parks motorcycle same spot
Enters through chimney

Posted by: Lauren/New Jan Brady at June 24, 2004 1:26 PM

No live with mom too
It would take more ALCOHOL
than I have right now

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 1:26 PM

Blonde woman on the grass
Approached by Massengil to
Sell new reverse douche.

Posted by: cynicalwoman at June 24, 2004 1:26 PM

She'd cuddle right up
purr and then start growling
much like Mary-Kate.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:26 PM

Kung fu kitty cat
Oughta put the smackdown on
skinny twins. Hi-ya!

Posted by: jenEx at June 24, 2004 1:26 PM

Damn! First line ran long:
Cataloging French drama
Means that I can't count.

Posted by: cynicalwoman at June 24, 2004 1:28 PM

I have to pee now
much like the geyser-woman
I've got to go bad.

It reminds me that
I could make a reference
to water breaking.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 1:29 PM

Cynicalwoman
My friend and co-worker, yo
Not good at math though.

Posted by: jenEx at June 24, 2004 1:29 PM

what is that foul taste?
kitty has sand in his teeth
from licking huge toes.

Posted by: Sue at June 24, 2004 1:29 PM

Car made of wood for
Back to the Future Part III
Looks so authentic!

Posted by: Lauren/New Jan Brady at June 24, 2004 1:30 PM

If that house falls on
the Olsen twins, John Stamos
goes back to Kansas

Posted by: cynicalwoman at June 24, 2004 1:34 PM

What started out as
a tinkle went just too far
She's embarrassed now

Posted by: Lauren/New Jan Brady at June 24, 2004 1:35 PM

Reading Ku about
Pussies has a different
meaning in labor

Posted by: Nurse Helen at June 24, 2004 1:36 PM

blonde on a golf course
this, a reward on 18
for a hole in one.

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 1:37 PM

Swimsuit model Jane
finally earns the title
of Miss Old Faithful.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 1:41 PM

Twin telepathy:
"Ash, this dress makes me look fat!"
"Shut up Mary-Kate"

"They're staring again..."
"Keep smiling, you can throw up
later!" "Oh, you're right!"

Posted by: Chrissy at June 24, 2004 1:43 PM

Gray fiesty cat says
"What? You want a piece of this?
Bring it on, suckah!"

Posted by: Lauren/New Jan Brady at June 24, 2004 1:44 PM

This was just confirmed:
the blade that sliced the house was
Hattori Hanzo

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 1:45 PM

Kung fu kitty has
Abnormally long tongue. Bet
Popular with chicks.

Posted by: jenEx at June 24, 2004 1:47 PM

So The Olsen Twins
Pose for just one last picture
Before lunch of air

Posted by: Lauren/New Jan Brady at June 24, 2004 1:49 PM

Jayne, Jayne, Jayne, Jayne, Jayne
Jayne, Jayne, Jayne, Jayne, Jayne, Jayne, Jayne
You need to go vote!!

Posted by: Amber at June 24, 2004 1:52 PM

We have a big meal
of absolutely nothing
to eat now... bye, yo!

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 1:54 PM

Gil at the crime scene:
“I found a footprint Warrick!”
..case was never solved

Posted by: Sweety at June 24, 2004 1:54 PM

How embarrassing
it must be for the blond one
to be the fat twin

Posted by: GranolaSpice at June 24, 2004 1:57 PM

”Michael, Michael, Help!
The wood worms are eating me!”
No bleep bleep for Kit

Posted by: Sweety at June 24, 2004 1:59 PM

Grey cat or Gush girl?
which pussy is scarier?
I just can't decide.

Posted by: GranolaSpice at June 24, 2004 1:59 PM

Gush Girl has got one
Hell-of-a Christmas card
"Merry Christmas Y'All!"

Posted by: Chrissy at June 24, 2004 2:17 PM

I've said it before:
STOP DRESSING THE FUCKING SAME
Little Miss Olsens.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:18 PM

The grey kitty-cat
thinks the camera is bad
and wants to hurt him.

So he'll kick some ass.
Or it is a she-kitty
with cat PMS.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:20 PM

squint and you can see,
botoxed and made up, "twins" are
E.T and Yoda

Posted by: spammit at June 24, 2004 2:20 PM

Ashley, tell us please
Why you never look happy
but all fake instead.

Mary-Kate, you too
have your souls been sucked out by
Hollywood's machine?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:22 PM

(Ashley secretly
wants to be the geyser girl;
Agent won't let her.)

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:23 PM

(And Mary-Kate, y'all
wants to eat up Manhattan,
can't remember how.)

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:24 PM

Okay it's pool time!
How many marriages will
each Olsen girl have?

AND, in which year will
one be in a film without
the other O-twin?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:25 PM

I'm getting mean here
but I HATED the Olsens
on their show "Full House."

Did not think them cute
Merely producer's puppets
And still puppets now.

Is it a crime that
I think they should be happy
and do what they want?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:29 PM

I say Mary-Kate
will have fewer marriages
than sister Ashley.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:30 PM

MK will have one;
maybe two; but sister Ash
will have three of them.

I think that Ashley
could be one hald of the next
"Bennifer" duo.

Although poor Ashley
could never have an ass like
that of the J-Lo.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:34 PM

Big 'ol footprints are
far more intriguing than
giant crop circles.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:36 PM

I wonder if cat
is always psycho, or if
it was just a phase.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:44 PM

Everyone is gone
but Shiz keeps on 'ku-ing 'coz
somebody has to.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:44 PM

Twins set new record
youngest subjects of E! true
Hollywood story.

Drew Barrymoore's pissed.
She also holds the record
for most young weddings.

Posted by: GranolaSpice at June 24, 2004 2:46 PM

International
House of Shitty Construction;
Come right on in, yo.

Posted by: Fraulein N at June 24, 2004 2:47 PM

Reminds me of line:
"Somebody got creamated,
Larry." Diane K.

said this in the film:
Manhattan Murder Myster-
y; an Allen film.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:48 PM

Mom? Do you ever
Get that extra-fresh feeling?
No? It's just me, then?

Posted by: Fraulein N at June 24, 2004 2:49 PM

That last 'ku sucked, yo.
do I do haiku pennance
for that or something?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:49 PM

Woman in red top
poses but doesn't know that
she'll be Photoshopped.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:51 PM

Yeah, you should feel less
manly. No, not your feet; that
ugly-ass outfit.

Posted by: Fraulein N at June 24, 2004 2:52 PM

Looking at that car?
with super sexy spoiler?
Kinda gives me wood...

Posted by: GranolaSpice at June 24, 2004 2:53 PM

House of purple roof
is a Korean castle
where weird people live.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 2:54 PM

Jenna Jameson
Your name calls to me when I
see water gushing

Underdog would be
scared of the "Kung fu Kittie"
I just know he would

Do you think that the
twins would have starred on full house
if they were this thin?

Posted by: Randi at June 24, 2004 2:54 PM

One of my readers
works across the street! We're off
to have lunch right now!

If I do not come
back and 'ku by two o'clock,
call authorities.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 2:56 PM

Oh and Nurse Helen?
You are my new hero. If
I weren't done, I would

have more children just
so you could deliver them
on a Thursday. Word.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 2:58 PM

If I was going
to build a wood car, why a
DeLorean, yo

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 3:03 PM

Guy with big foot prints
Has very resentful kids
Hard to follow shoes

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 3:04 PM

I just remembered
Mom's birthday is this weekend
Any gift ideas?

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 3:05 PM

How about the cat?
what better present is there?
Maybe the Olsen's?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 3:08 PM

typing with one hand
makes the haiku very hard
i need a typist

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 3:11 PM

I think the cat eats
much more any day of the week
than those Oslen twins

Posted by: Shelly at June 24, 2004 3:12 PM

If got mom a cat
Step-dad would then have a cow
Not a good idea

As for the Olsens
They sound like a better gift
For my little bro.

Posted by: Oliquig at June 24, 2004 3:13 PM

i will play with pain
but without punctuation
can i get ruling?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 3:13 PM

Now you know why we
teachers love the summer months
It's our bathroom break!

Posted by: Auntie M at June 24, 2004 3:18 PM

Gushing girl is how
i feel whenever someone else
drives. No potty breaks!?


~~~~
am i doing this right?? :)

Posted by: Shelly at June 24, 2004 3:26 PM

Yogi trolls the park
finds Old Faithful better than
pic-a-nick basket

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 4:06 PM

What about Ranger?
Do I consider boo boo
the little grey cat?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 4:17 PM

When I haiku, yo,
turn into alter ego
who uses f-word.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:17 PM

Back from non-stalking
lunch. Amanda is way cool!
Will do again soon!

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 4:19 PM

oh to be the guy
that gets to clean the fountain
V is victory

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 4:20 PM

G's in his old form
master of "the step too far"
making us snort milk.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:26 PM

Hat's off to kitty
auditioning for a role
in musical "Cats."

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:27 PM

It's written in the
contract: must keep long hair, though
it adds ten ounces.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 4:28 PM

did i cross the line?
i always seem to do that
it should be redrawn

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 4:28 PM

The Delorian
gives new meaning to the term
Woody, yuk-yuk-yuk.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:30 PM

You redraw the line
Every time you haiku.
Genuine's the bomb.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:31 PM

Look! Jane's on her way!
Mary's water broke at last.
Push, Mary! Blog, Lee!

(Not an official
bulletin, folks, just a lame
'ku on the fountain.)

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 4:33 PM

Mindy! How are ya!
Didn't see too much of you
last week at the 'ku.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:33 PM

Grey kitty's not mean
If you were there you'd know it's
only a hairball.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:35 PM

Last week was suckly.
No mood to 'ku once we saw
the mediator.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 4:35 PM

That fucking hairball
Where in the hell are my boots?
Are boots in fountain?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 4:38 PM

G man is the bomb
but blondie is explosive
i did not do that

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 4:39 PM

Looks like Snoopy's house
the red baron must have won
someone call woodstock

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 4:44 PM

Water retention
was the biggest hinderance
to blondie's weight loss.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:45 PM

Mindy's like the cat
witty, sharp & fierce, she hurts
the mediator.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:48 PM

jack and the bean stalk
the first time he sees footprint
he shits in his pants

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 4:49 PM

Footprints in the sand?
When you saw only one set
I was dragging you.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:50 PM

This is a test, yo:
Which of Mary-Kate & Ash
is more vacuous?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:52 PM

I know I'm slipping:
haven't been pimping 'kus or
sentence smackdown much.

My apologies,
but it would not have been much
fun for those at home.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 4:52 PM

Homer Simpson wins
lottery; makes self into
the world's biggest man.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:55 PM

Oh Shiz, you got me
cackling again. God fucked me over
man. Sand in my shorts.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 4:55 PM

Geyser girl smiles
as a gift for posing here
she gets five dollars.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 4:56 PM

I'm going to hell
for that one. Hope the Devil
will carry me at least.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 4:58 PM

Think y'all are confused
Looks like a lamborghini
But what do I know?

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 4:59 PM

Welcome home you all
to your million-dollar home.
What? You don't like it?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:00 PM

Kitty reenacts
A scene from the film, "The Bear."
Cat fantasy world.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:01 PM

Lord-induced wedgie
giving me celestial
pain in the toochus.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:01 PM

You should be in bed
not in the haiku smackdown
Cyn is in the house!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 5:03 PM

Lord? Little help here.
Yes, You're doing a favor
but man my ass chafes.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:04 PM

I think Scarlett is
right with the lamborghini
call - yea Scarlett, yo!

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:04 PM

Pain meds and smackdown
Does life get any better?
Hell no, i thought not!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 5:05 PM

I'm glad Cyn joined us.
Amalah has said good things.
You crack her shit up.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:05 PM

Officemate notes the
limber qualities of the
'ku. Can do so much.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:05 PM

Little grey cat says
Look at my impression yo!
MK after lunch

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 5:06 PM

There's NO WAY dear Cyn,
This is a DeLorean;
This Lamborghini.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:06 PM

Genuine, I'm so
happy to see you among
the 'kuing today!

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:07 PM

Perhaps this is the
first plywood hybrid of both -
a Delorghini.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:08 PM

Ta Chris! Watch out now
Im just now getting warmed up
Lemmie rock your world!

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 5:09 PM

Y'all have no idea
how much fun Cyn is. And, she's
coming to visit!

Yep, Mindy and Cyn,
on the loose in San Jose.
Lock up your husbands.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:10 PM

you do not have to
suck up to this master chris
but can i win twice?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 5:11 PM

I welcome rockage
especially in 'ku form.
Gimme your best shot!

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:11 PM

I don't believe there
are any restrictions on
multiple wins, yo.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:12 PM

I don't know, Gen... can
you? *Pretends to be engrossed
in business email*

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:13 PM

I'll lock you both up
then i'll throw away the key
all husbands are safe

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 5:14 PM

Min & Cyn unite?
California may never
be the same again.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:14 PM

lttle pussy gags
MK!thought my upchuck gross
FUCK,what'd you eat,yo?

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 5:14 PM

Mindy breaks out her
special rhetorical first
grade teacher powers :-)

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:16 PM

Like to see you try.
I could take you down in a
single kitty swipe.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:17 PM

Mindy i'm at home
cannot work on kuing days
of course, you knew that

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 5:18 PM

None of us work on
'kuing days. But most of us
act as though we are.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 5:20 PM

Tell it like it is,
Chris. Work? I'm sorry, work? Yo?
Dunno what that is.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:26 PM

I wonder how far
Lee & Mrs. Lee are in
ousting the baby.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:27 PM

Min & Cyn change names
now are Thelma & Louise
but no cliff jumpin

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 5:28 PM

I wasn't happy
Not doing a 'ku for all
The lovely pictures!
___

Kitty owned pink house,
Mimes terror when girl's big wave
tipped it on its side.
___

Leaves at nine o'clock,
Bob drives to work with real bad
case of mornin' wood.
____

'Tis a shame when girls
Think that black is so slimming;
They will disappear!

If it weren't for lace,
They would shrink into darkness,
Only showing teeth.
____


I am done, hooray!
I can eat and sleep in peace,
Until next Thursday!

Posted by: Heather at June 24, 2004 5:29 PM

I ku with one hand
the other one in a sling
can't work but i ku

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 5:29 PM

Come on, little one!
You've been in there waaay too long
Time to come out now.

You can slip-n-slide
all the way out, baby girl ...
NOW, or you're grounded.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:29 PM

I would ground my kid
for taking too long to come
outta there, ya know?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:30 PM

Genuine's injured?
first his pride and then his arm
when Shiz calls a girl.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:31 PM

Little Jayne is here
i think he is posting it
go to lee's later

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 5:32 PM

Kitty's a skinny.
I bet he don't eat much more
than said Mary-Kate.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:32 PM

The part of the pic
that we can't see (of the "V")
is what scres hte Shiz.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:34 PM

Crap, just noticed I
rhymed unintentionally,
do I get kicked out?

I didn't mean to,
honest I did not, my friend,
please don't hurt me now. :)

Posted by: Heather at June 24, 2004 5:35 PM

Anything could be
"down there," ya know what I mean?
don't want to think it.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:36 PM

Debate on female
Ejaculation over!
Can you say "g-spot?"

Posted by: Bozoette Mary at June 24, 2004 5:38 PM

Kitty's name is Spaz
He's protecting himself from
The big-foot God-man.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:38 PM

Green Giant travels
to California beaches
time to get away.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:40 PM

Baby Jayne is born!
So glad ballot stuffin workd
Congrats Lee & Wife!

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 5:41 PM

Even with bulk-head
There isn't enough leg-room
On Green Giant's flight.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:41 PM

Should we sing a round
Of the Bare Naked Ladies'
song "Jane" for the fam?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:43 PM

One hour four-five
left in the Shiz' work day
how can she do it?

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:44 PM

Rock-a-bye baby
Welcome to the world, precious.
We love the Jayne-ie

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:45 PM

Kitty's Caterwaul
goes out to the new Jayne-girl;
be good to your folks.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 5:46 PM

Just posted on chat
with Lee from delivery
room! We are true geeks!

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:55 PM

Her name is spelled "Jane."
And we've seen a pic, too! She
has her daddy's eyes.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 5:58 PM

Heading to OB
now to prove I did not die
from blood loss last week.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 6:01 PM

So glad to have lived.
Now hubby can bleed me dry
in the settlement.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 6:03 PM

Well then! Time to go
before I start in with the
bitter sarcasm!

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 6:04 PM

i think we reached it
at least the sarcasm part
so ta ta for now

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 6:10 PM

tut-tut sweet, bitter
dearlings. It is called "smackdown"
not "tea in the park"

I say ride that pissed-
off wave of sarcastic spleen
venting. Barf it up.

Posted by: Spammit at June 24, 2004 6:20 PM

I am a dork, y'all
Stood next to guest of honour
and didn't know her.

Posted by: Shiz at June 24, 2004 6:31 PM

Oh no he doesn't
Mindy mine. I'll tie and gag
his ass when we go!

He is a Vampire?
Must get garlic and the stake
Don't fuck with my pal

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 6:35 PM

*puts on chaps, checks reins,
powders hands* NOW try and buck
me you pansy-assed wave!!!

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 7:11 PM

surfing now mindy?
those chaps are a real turn on
but i spit the bit

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 7:13 PM

Um, I was riding
that metaphorical wave,
not you, dear. Good grief.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 7:15 PM

hey a guy can dream
i was riding my own wave
speaking in those terms

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 7:25 PM

Blondie had problem
with her bladder from childhood
No Depends thong style

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at June 24, 2004 7:29 PM

If Mary Kate would
turn sideways, stick her tongue out
she'd be a zipper.

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 7:49 PM

where do i put these?
all these cookies and money?
can i buy a win?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 7:52 PM

If Mindy gets bucked
do we all form a posse
kick the bucker's ass?

Posted by: bmh at June 24, 2004 7:53 PM

maybe i will host
i think i have the moxie
but does my site work?

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 7:54 PM

Freaky cat be damned
Gushing chick freaking me out
Haiku virgin scared!

Posted by: Buzz at June 24, 2004 8:02 PM

the cat drug him in
now buzz is a haiku dude
welcome to the show!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 8:04 PM

i hear black's slimming
but mary kate and sister
need to eat big macs

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 8:12 PM

Genuine is cool
but maybe jumping the gun
Still intrepid Buzz

Posted by: Buzz at June 24, 2004 8:21 PM

Ok. Very first time ever participating in this. Be gentle:

Mary Kate is thin
She doesn't eat enough food
Pity cause she's rich

Posted by: Serenity at June 24, 2004 8:23 PM

always welcome you
serenity and the buzz
an audience yo!

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 8:25 PM

Please don't tell my wife
I took the car back in time
Now it's made of wood.

Posted by: Serenity at June 24, 2004 8:26 PM

Why don't you listen?
I said, "No ball in the house"
This is the result

Posted by: Serenity at June 24, 2004 8:30 PM

Don't you think she knows
No one's looking at her face
So why does she turn?

Posted by: Serenity at June 24, 2004 8:33 PM

He never listens
Make that face and it will stick
I warned you kitty

Posted by: Serenity at June 24, 2004 8:37 PM

I have a question
Do you think my feet are big?
Please tell me the truth

Posted by: Serenity at June 24, 2004 8:43 PM

Hey, Serenity's
got some chops! Hiiiii-yaaa! Welcome
to the jungle, yo.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 8:46 PM

Anyone else see
one twin touching her sister's
ass? "Yep, still bigger!"

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 8:50 PM

Pine Delorian
selling powdered sugar from
sandwich baggies. Snap.

Posted by: Mindy at June 24, 2004 8:53 PM

Blonde's hair is dyed--
she's not a fire hydrant
she's a fire crotch!

Posted by: at June 24, 2004 9:11 PM

stupid wooden car
Christina Ferrare got
this from the divorce

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 9:12 PM

is there a theme here?
wooden pussy hairball twins?
i cant figure it.

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 9:37 PM

woah check this place out
i'm watching from the sidelines
amazed and IMPRESSED!

being good is tough,
the humor can't be slacking.
you guys walk the talk.

Posted by: angel at June 24, 2004 9:39 PM

I can read the words
on the cool purple rooftop
It says haiku rocks

Posted by: Shelly at June 24, 2004 9:58 PM

can someone translate
japanese on the pink roof?
bet on pussy ranch

Posted by: Genuine at June 24, 2004 9:59 PM

It's obvious that
Gusher chick hooked up with the
Man with giant feet.

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:19 PM

The car is nasty
From being pulled from a lake.
It was a bad night.

But the worst event
was the house. No comment yet
From Mr. Nolte.

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:26 PM

Come on baby, Please!!!
I just need a little more
Catnip, please baby!

You know I'm good for
It. Just a little to tide
Me over. I'll quit

Tomorrow. Just this
One last fix and I'll be clean.
Help a kitten out!!!

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:30 PM

Wow, I didn't know
That anybody ever
Went all out and got

The Delux All Wood
Panelling option. That is
One great car salesman.

Posted by: Stu at June 24, 2004 11:34 PM

How in the hell did
you get over two hundred
comments on your blog?

Posted by: zenwanderer at June 25, 2004 12:06 AM

I have jet lag man
my brain is not in the mode
Creative vibe gone!

Posted by: Hul Doula at June 25, 2004 12:27 AM

I have boats for feet
size eleven to boot yo
Big Foot has me beat
******************************
I would hate to be
the one that would have to walk
a mile in those shoes!!

Posted by: Hul Doula at June 25, 2004 12:30 AM

No lubrication
needed with blonde chic oh my
Don't get her turned on!

Posted by: Hul Doula at June 25, 2004 12:32 AM

Tyson kitty is
ready for the ring talking
smack, throwing punches.

Posted by: Hul Doula at June 25, 2004 12:36 AM

The blonde could not wait
Because she had to go really bad
at a park she did

Posted by: Rockchild at June 25, 2004 1:19 AM

The big foot is from
my uncle Joey on the beach today
he forgot his shoes again

Posted by: Rockchild at June 25, 2004 1:22 AM

The cat looks like my
stray cat friend I named Buster
who likes to joke around

Posted by: Rockchild at June 25, 2004 1:27 AM

My mom stood on the
edge of the house today so it
fell on it's side

Posted by: Rockchild at June 25, 2004 1:41 AM

The Olsen twins are so
great since they are adults compared to
bad acting on Full House

Posted by: Rockchild at June 25, 2004 1:47 AM

The wooden sports car was
his only chance of having his dream
car for all to see

Posted by: Rockchild at June 25, 2004 1:52 AM

These pictures on Rudecactus
are the best I have ever seen
in a Thursday Haiku Smackdown

I'm sorry for playing this Thursday Smackdown on Friday. I fell asleep and forgot, but remembered when I got up to use the toilet and on the way I heard a smacking sound coming from my brothers bedroom, and I'm still hearing it. I wonder what he's doing?

Posted by: Rockchild at June 25, 2004 2:03 AM


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