July 19, 2004

Genius at Work: Part I

I've mentioned my old friend Adam and I figure some of our stories are good for a laugh. This morning I give you the first part in what is truly an epic saga. Its about determination, hard work and the occasional mishap...and paint. Lots of paint. Yes, we'd landed a gig painting a house...

Part I: Magic Erase
One day we had to venture into the house to get some extra paint out of the cellar. I don’t often use the word cellar but this was not your standard basement. This thing was dark and creepy with dirt floors and the sound of things scurrying whenever you flipped the light on. This was a place where there was a very real possibility bodies were buried. Regardless, me made it out alive. Once back upstairs, we found a cool magic erase board that belonged to the resident four year old. Being 19 and, you know, obnoxious, we did what any 19 year-old obnoxious people would do – we drew a gigantic penis on it. Then we completely forgot about it, leaving our phallic masterpiece sitting in the pile of the kid’s toys.

When the owner returned from vacation a month later and we were settling the bill, he called us inside to talk. He handed over the check and told us we’d done a pretty good job. And despite all our screwing around, we really had done a decent job on the old place. But for a horrifying instant I remembered our phallic art project. Oh shit! Danger! Danger! Gigantic dick on the kids magic erase board. I didn’t erase it. Did Adam erase it? Is this kid scarred for life. Did he walk in one day, pick it up and ask daddy what this was? I covertly looked over to the pile of toys and caught a glimpse of the magic erase board right where we’d left it. Our artistic anatomical display was, thankfully, missing.

We shook hands with the owner and made our exit. As soon as the front door had closed, I turned to Adam.

Me: Dude, did you see the magic erase board?
Adam: No man…oh shit!
Me: Yeah. Thanks for erasing it.
Adam: I didn’t erase it.

Posted by Chris at July 19, 2004 12:59 PM

Thanks to you guys, his son probably got the third degree.

Dad: What is this?
Son: I don't know?
Dad: Why did you draw this?
Son: I didn't.
Dad: Liar, repent, repent.

Posted by: Mike at July 19, 2004 1:05 PM

ROTFLMAO seriously

Posted by: Swt GA HunnyB at July 19, 2004 1:12 PM

penis? what penis?

Posted by: debby at July 19, 2004 1:33 PM

Seeing that you might be beyond your twenties and that child is most likely in his late teens now ...... we will most likely have a child with a phobia of his own ........ um ...... equipment? Great. (I keep hearing that comment Mike made ....... "repent! repent!")

Posted by: Kymmie at July 19, 2004 1:34 PM

You mean.... you mean... that wasn't a real size penis?? ...

Posted by: Boy now teenager at July 19, 2004 1:45 PM

Oh, you know that kid was totally scarred for life. Then why can't I stop laughing?

Posted by: Fraulein N at July 19, 2004 1:53 PM

You're just a Michelangelo at heart. It was a form of art that some people will never feel comfortable with. Right on with your freedom of speech and damn the man that is trying to stiffle your artistic ambitions! Who cares if you damage a few children's minds on the way? It's all in the name of art!

Posted by: myllissa at July 19, 2004 2:17 PM

you've gotta know that the dad saw it, erased it and figured that by not saying anything, you'd feel guilty about it for the rest of your lives.

Posted by: chlamygirl at July 19, 2004 2:36 PM

LOL. The owner on finding the penis was probably just relieved you didn't decide to paint a huge penis on his wall, so finding it on the dry erase board wasn't so bad.

On the other hand...the description "gigantic" is subjective to the one drawing said gigantic penis and the one viewing the penis. :)

Posted by: groovebunny at July 19, 2004 8:49 PM

Oooof. Hate it when that happens.

Posted by: Michelle at July 19, 2004 11:18 PM