July 5, 2004

Thumbs Bursting In Air

Ok...so...a couple of people have asked about my fireworks accident. Here's the closest I can come to representing what was going on in my head at the time. I warn you, my head is a strange place.

"Let's see...I'll just light this big-ass sparkler using this teensy little lighter I've got here - the size that's only appropriate for lighting small cigarettes for babies. Wait. Strike that. Babies? Flick, flick, flick. Not exactly a flamethrower, is it? Crap! Wind! Flick, flick, flick. There. Hold it just a little closer...a little closer...just a bit more. Oh shit! Ouch. Fuck! Huh. I'm blind and I don't think I have a thumbprint anymore. At least I still have the thumb. Jump around! Jumping around helps. Why? Who knows! Jump around some more! Fuck!"

This proves, yet again, that I'm a bit of a dumbass. This should come as no surprise to any of you.

Posted by Chris at July 5, 2004 6:27 PM

I'm glad that you didn't hurt yourself really badly.

Posted by: Adrienne at July 5, 2004 6:55 PM

Don't look at me. I once had a bottle rocket blow up in my shorts. True story.

Posted by: Mindy at July 5, 2004 8:30 PM

You and Joe might be soulmates. He still has a big scar on his right index finger where he burned himself when he was like 14 doing pretty much the exact same thing as you just described.

Posted by: martha at July 5, 2004 10:15 PM

it's not a real part unless you have a scar to prove it

Posted by: chlamygirl at July 5, 2004 10:27 PM

Don't worry Chris, I don't think you're a dumbass. You actually seem like more of a smartass to me.

Posted by: Heather at July 6, 2004 2:02 AM

lmao @ I don't have a thumbprint anymore! too funny!! You're right, at least you still have your thumb, besides, what do you really need a thumbprint for?!

Posted by: kimberlee at July 6, 2004 9:27 AM

But the question remains...do you still have eyebrows? Because as long as you aren't the guy in the office without eyebrows the day after the 4th, no one really needs to know!

Posted by: GranolaSpice at July 6, 2004 12:40 PM

Well...it sounds somewhat painful. But, it made me laugh. Sorry...I don't mean to laugh at your pain. Really, I laugh at your story. Because you are such a great story teller. Um...yeah....hope your thumb is better.

Posted by: Nicole at July 6, 2004 5:19 PM