Rude Cactus: "I Can't Hear You. There's An Egg In My Phone"

October 21, 2004

"I Can't Hear You. There's An Egg In My Phone"

For those of you playing Rude Cactus: The Home Game, it was a very, very old hardboiled egg in my phone. I've replaced the handset and it smells a hell of a lot better in here now. That didn't stop me, idiot that I am, from answering it before the switch. My boss called (who was, I now know, in on the joke). The conversation played out with me holding the phone as far away from my face as possible.

Boss: Hey!
Me: Hey, how are you?
Boss: Are you there? I can't hear you.
Me: I'M HERE! There's shit in my phone!
Boss: What? What's in your phone?
Me: I don't know. But its STINKY!
Boss: Its dinky?
Me: Stinky. STINKY! Its foul!
Boss: Um, okay. I'm not going to be in until noon. Could you let people know if they're looking for me?
Me: Yeah! Sure! If I don't pass out first.
Boss: Thanks!
Me: And I need a new phone, BAD!
Boss: Sounds like it.
Me: I'm sorry. Its nothing personal but I can't talk to you anymore on this thing. I'm going to pass out and die. Bye!

The forecast for today is partially nauseated with late-afternoon meetings.

Posted by Chris at October 21, 2004 12:34 PM

Comments

Thank you, I'll be skipping lunch today. :P

Posted by: Amanda at October 21, 2004 12:55 PM

That is hilarious! Hardboiled eggs smell bad enough when fresh, let alone when they're left rotting in telephone earpieces. Congrats on the new receiver.

Posted by: Kimmer at October 21, 2004 1:10 PM

Okay, Chris? Right now at the office our internet is not working, and yet I can still look at your site. Yours is the only site that works! How? You are magical.

Posted by: supine at October 21, 2004 1:16 PM

Gag. I would've never guessed it was an egg. Vile. But somehow, still hilarious.

Posted by: Fraulein N at October 21, 2004 1:27 PM

Could have been worse. Pickled pork rinds... Week-old cottage cheese... Cat urine...

Just trying to cheer you up. :P

Posted by: Trint at October 21, 2004 1:43 PM

hahaha. that's perfect. and icky. LOL

Posted by: Manda at October 21, 2004 2:07 PM

Payback for the great packing peanuts caper perhaps?

Posted by: Amy at October 21, 2004 2:38 PM

I'm seriously grossed out right now.

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at October 21, 2004 2:45 PM

Ugh. Just thinking about it and then seeing the picture and I'm really nauseated. Ugh

Posted by: Heather at October 21, 2004 3:43 PM

Have I mentioned lately that you're hysterical?!

Yes. You are. Thanks muchly for a nice afternoon laugh.

Posted by: PinkStiletto at October 21, 2004 4:33 PM

Wow. Hard boiled egg, huh? That sounds like a really bad time. Hope you're already thinking of a good payback the next time one of your colleagues goes on vacation!

Posted by: Heather at October 21, 2004 5:51 PM

hmm. I guess that was better than fish guts. Consider yourself semi-lucky.
Hey, nice new handset by the way......

Posted by: Jade at October 21, 2004 6:56 PM

I had to do some back reading for the whole story but I will say that it's a good one. or a stinky one I should say. eep!

Posted by: Katie at October 21, 2004 9:58 PM

I was amused until I saw the picture. Then I think I threw up a little. Ewww!

Posted by: Casey at October 21, 2004 11:02 PM

Heh. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Posted by: DeAnn at October 22, 2004 2:22 AM

this is why I say- Just say no to deviled eggs

Posted by: stinkerbell at October 22, 2004 6:15 AM

Well now I have an idea for a new office prank! :)