November 9, 2004

Cactus Spill...Cleanup On Aisle Three

Yesterday I asked you guys to spill...and now you expect me to spill too? That's pretty much what this whole site is about, cactus spillage, right? You people are demanding!

Things That Freak My Ass Out The Most: Spiders, heights, flying and ketchup. Hate the ketchup. And mayo. Maybe I just have a thing against condiments. Oh, and large expanses of water with big-ass boats in them. I was snorkling in the Caymans once and caught the underside of a massive cargo ship passing off the coast - eerie.

Outie: When I get nervous, my right hand goes for my bellybutton.

Food Of Evil: I suspect anything in my fridge over a week old to kill me or at the least make me horribly ill. My wife will tell you its more like a day. Really, its a week.

Shiver: I'm convinced I read people very well. So it scares me when I pass someone or someone passes me and I get a very unique shiver. This means, by my interpretation, they're bad and could do me or others harm.

Guilty Pleasures: I like Genesis (preferably the 70's stuff with Peter Gabriel, though) and lots of 80's music. I also love the movies Three Amigos and Ishtar. And I don't mind reading the occasional "chick book" either.

Hold The Toes, Please: Sandals on men? Big no-no. The only thing worse is men wearing sandals with dress socks.

Food of Evil II: Curse of the Ancient Food: There's nothing right about blue cheese...or funky cheese with ashes in it (yes, there is such a thing and I can report that its not good at all)...or cheese that knocks you out of the room with its smell. Or cottage cheese. And yogurt, while an excellent source of, well, dairnyess, bothers me does anything edible with "active cultures." Active culture is best represented, to me, by the Lithuanian downhill skiing team or salsa dancers. Not yogurt.

There you have it. More examples of my neuroses in action!

Posted by Chris at November 9, 2004 11:50 AM

I'm with you on the sandals thing. There is a guy here at work who wears sandals with socks every single day of the year. It makes me so sad.

Posted by: Kerry at November 9, 2004 12:05 PM

I'm a recent bleu cheese convert, and the smellier the cheese, the better, Chris! All I ever really have in my fridge is dairy...yogurt, cheese, milk, and butter. I'm a walking vat of cow lard.

Posted by: Anne at November 9, 2004 12:27 PM

NO WAY!! I could have sworn that I was the only person who liked Ishtar! I sat in the theater giggling like a little girl when that came out. I drew stares. I didn't care.

Posted by: Buzz at November 9, 2004 12:40 PM

So what do you wear on your feet when it's sweltering hot in the middle of July?

I'm with you on the eating old food from the fridge thing. Can't do it. I'm programmed to reject it at first sight.

Posted by: PinkStiletto at November 9, 2004 12:44 PM

I love The 3 Amigos and Isthar! Sorry but you must be copying me! jk :) As for the nervous thing and the hand to the belly button...please don't tell us your finger goes into your belly button. Or is it just a hand covering the belly button?

Beth is right! Anything past a day old in your fridge will kill you straight off. I'm a firm believer of that. Though I'll still insist on bringing left overs home from eating out...I'll stick it in the fridge, then throw it out the following week.

Men in sandals are fine by me. Maybe it's a west coast thing. I think cotton socks are allright if the sandals are worn with pants. If the guy is wearing shorts and socks with sandals, he's a freak. The most horrid thing in the world though are tourist who come out from, sorry I have to say this, the east coast, who wear black knee socks with sandals, shorts and a Hawiian print shirt.

Blue cheese is my guilty pleasure. If I go out for a burger or salad most likely I'll request a bit of it sprinkled in somewhere. I think it really stems from my childhood as my mom would use blue cheese on her salads but would never let me have any!

In terms of dairy in general. A friend of mine told me some really nasty stuff about hormone injections in cows and antibiotics and udder illness and...ugggh it makes me sick thinking of it. Kinda puts a damper in my "Whatever can be dipped in milk will be dipped in milk" philosophy. lol

Posted by: charm at November 9, 2004 12:59 PM

Sandals with shorts are sometimes ok, like at the beach, or around the pool, but some guys have started wearing those damn thongs slippers, even with jeans.....sickens me to no end.

Posted by: Mike at November 9, 2004 1:23 PM

Dear Cactus: In the future, please to be referring to "chick books" as "chicktion".

Thank you.

Posted by: patricia at November 9, 2004 1:45 PM

Ooh, I HATE mayo and blue cheese. And cottage cheese, although that's more of consistency problem for me.

I am also very suspicious of food that has been in the fridge for a while. I think three or four days is my limit.

You're right about the shiver thing -- some people just give off bad vibes.

Posted by: bad penguin at November 9, 2004 2:12 PM

oh no, don't dis the cheese! cottage cheese with pineapple in it is yummy, its super yummy on a salad smothered with italian dressing (just the cottage cheese, not with the pineapple in it). bleu cheese, stinky cheese, hell even drippy cheese is soooo yummy! one of the yummiest things in the world is a goat cheese omelette! ranks up there with tuna fish sandwiches with doritos crushed in them (todays lunch btw).
what is it about Ishtar that you like? should i rent it? the last (and only time) i saw it was on a flight back from germany oh about 15 years ago. (gasp - is the movie that old!)
so you get bad shivers... do you get good shivers?
how can ketchup freak you out? i totally love ketchup, my son even dips green beans in it! its catsup you need to watch out for... ;-)

Posted by: monique at November 9, 2004 2:14 PM

I totally agree with the men and sandals thing....just pain germy.

Heights, bugs (any kind of creepy crawlies really) will send me shrieking like a screamer in an old Hitchcock movie.

Active cultures? Yes, well, men don't so much need these do they? Leave those to the women, who know what they are good for.......

Posted by: Jade at November 9, 2004 2:22 PM

Oh, man. Sandals with socks is just sad. Men of the world, please don't do this.

Posted by: Fraulein N at November 9, 2004 2:58 PM

Ugh! The California fad of deck shoes (wearing loose leather shoes without socks) nasty! Blue cheese... isn't that really foot fungus? (I'm going to get shot for that, I just know it).

The cargo ship going overhead.... FREAKY!!

Posted by: etherian at November 9, 2004 3:44 PM

Okay, am I really odd? Because I almost always love leftovers (cold, straight from the fridge) waaaay more than how they tasted when they first came out of the oven or restaurant.

Posted by: supine at November 9, 2004 3:57 PM

lol. Okay supine reminded me that there is one leftover I will happily. Next day cold fried chicken. :)

Posted by: charm at November 9, 2004 4:17 PM

Thanks for sharing.

Posted by: cassie-b at November 9, 2004 4:30 PM

First of all, great audioblog. I nearly died laughing. =D Which I also probably would have done if you had walked into a class of mine for your first day at high school! I feel bad, but it's hilarious and I think you know that. =P

I try not to think about the fact that yogurt is "alive" while eating it. Cottage cheese? No thanks. Socks + sandals = sadness. Guys wearing flip-flops doesn't bother me, though. *shrugs* Stuff in the fridge is just gross. Well, most of the time. =D

Posted by: Jennie at November 9, 2004 4:44 PM

Okay. I am really trying to accept the no-ketchup thing. It's just so beautiful, especially when mixed guessed it...mayonnaise!

But socks with sandals? Wrong, in every sort of way. Boys, don't do it. However, I do support flipflops, and heartily embrace their usage.

Posted by: lady jane at November 9, 2004 5:20 PM

LOL- I'm so with you on the food of evil thing. My boyfriend thinks I'm a freak- I always ask "how long have we had this for?" when he pulls something out to fix. And I won't touch ice cream that's been around for too long and I won't touch it if it's gotten "freezer fur". Bleech.

Posted by: Kristi at November 9, 2004 5:25 PM

You are so funny!

Three Amigos is a GREAT movie, although Iíll have to give you a second look because you actually like Ishtar. That one was bad.

Posted by: zanie at November 9, 2004 6:25 PM

Ew. Blue cheese.. :X

But I think the worst is by far saurkraut, and coleslaw is a close second. :| But... I do occasionally like a little ketchup.

And as for spiders... I'm so bad, I can't even kill them.. no no, I just trap them under cups and leave little signs on the cups like, "BEWARE of the BLOOD SUCKING SPIDERZORG HYBERNATING UNDER THIS CUP!!!!! Do not lift except for instant death." And leave them there for days at a time.. until they magically teleport themselves from under the cup, or someone else in the house gets rid of them ;D

I've never seen dress socks with sandals... but the thong sandals and jeans thing has gone way too far.

Posted by: Coal at November 9, 2004 6:26 PM

Your audio blog was too funny! My back actually hurt on Mon. from raking leaves too...damn leaves! I think all of my neighbors' leaves are just blowing into my yard to spite me. Oh, and the guy sandal thing...totally agree. I hate guys who wear what I call "Jesus shoes" & it's even worse with socks. Though a guy who wears flip-flops is okay in my book.

Posted by: naomi at November 9, 2004 6:30 PM

I think the "sandals" thing is eh, but the Teva or so is ok...

bleu cheese and grapes are awesome but cottage cheese *brr*

Posted by: Sue at November 10, 2004 2:46 AM

" The only thing worse is men wearing sandals with dress socks." Agreed - also jeans with no belt - Supper's Ready, Watcher of the Skies and Firth of Fifth - best songs ever produced. I would rate the pianist by one's ability to re-produce the intro of Firth of Fifth. I'm fully on the same page (less the yogurt).

Nice photo gallery

Posted by: tesco at November 10, 2004 7:09 AM

I loathe Genesis, hate 'em. I will agree to disagree with you on this one ;) You should know Phil Collins is the devil. Did I spell his name right? Eh, who cares...

Posted by: jujubee at November 10, 2004 9:06 AM

I have never laughed so much .. oh my gosh .... I can not agree withj most of your post bu that is ok . i like the rotting cheese thing i guess and I feel for the active little culture in my yogurt I guess that is why i know they will do my body good ... might not smell good though . I blog as well but not many visit. I got your name from autumleaph boy is she a riot as well... nice to read your bloggin

Posted by: lilmisstypo at November 10, 2004 10:01 PM