November 12, 2004

Meetings...GAH!!

That last meeting? Yeah. I almost shoved a pen into my eye just for a diversion. Crazy Client and all his damn examples...

CC: So, lets say we had 100 reports, added 50 throughout the year, completed 5 of them. What kind of progress would we be able to show for the quarter?
What I Wanted to Say: What the fuck are you talking about? Its Friday. I don't do math on Friday.
CC: Or let me use another example. Say we have a 25% increase in the reports and we mitigate 75% of those yet we still have 1500 for the year. What do those numbers speak to?
WIWtS: You're the sick bastard that came up with all those fifth grade word problems aren't you? You and your obsession with trains leaving the station and how many jelly beans were left when Sue, Walter and John had taken all their favorite flavors.
CC: I can see you don't get where I'm coming from...another example: We have 100 reports, added 50 throughout the year, completed 5 of them. What kind of progress would we be able to show for the quarter?
WIWtS: That was your first example, you tool. Why don't you tell me how long it will take you to get your ass and the horse it rode in on back to the hole from whence you came. Use the following equation to compute: X x Y=Z

Let X=sustained asskickings per minute
Let Y=force of X in pounds per square inch
Let Z=the speed at which a client will flee given said asskicking.
Solve for Z

No, I'm not disgruntled at all. What would make you say that? Seriously, I've had just about enough of this meeting thing for the week. One more to go...

Posted by Chris at November 12, 2004 2:30 PM
Comments

Hugs? And let us know if you need any help with the ass kicking. I'm sure if enough of us get together we can certainly kick CC's but back out of the hole he crawled out of.

Posted by: charm at November 12, 2004 3:27 PM

Hey at least you know it can only last for a few more hours.

Posted by: Oliquig at November 12, 2004 3:31 PM

I'm only not worried about your being a disgruntled worker because you don't work at the post office... so what harm can you really do?

Posted by: Coal at November 12, 2004 3:32 PM

Sounds like a rocking good time. Sorry I missed it.

Posted by: Dawnie at November 12, 2004 4:06 PM

At that point you need to stand up, tugging at your collar, and say "Does anyone else feel really, really warm?" Then fall onto the table and vomit, flailing your arms around like you are trying to get up, splattering it everywhere and on everything.

I'm so damn sure that would break up the meeting for the day. And as an added benefit, every time you tugged your collar, Crazy Client would immediately end the meeting. :)

Posted by: J at November 12, 2004 4:23 PM

You poor soul. Also? I was just at the post office, and perhaps I did not have the requisite fear. My day was spent watching sitcoms in a language I don't completely understand, and planning activities for Gr. 8-12 french students who will almost certainly not give a damn.

Posted by: Heather at November 12, 2004 5:56 PM

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO MR. CACTUS RAWKS!

(the cause of this outburst is unknown)

Posted by: Maureen at November 12, 2004 5:58 PM

oh no ... well at least its friday ... have a great week end :)

Posted by: Rosie at November 12, 2004 11:36 PM

Hahahahaha!!

But why would you call him a tool? I would use fool ;)))

*runs off before getting asskicked by the cactus*

Posted by: Sweety at November 13, 2004 6:02 AM

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that spell and those that do math. Death to math-doers!

Posted by: wlfldy at November 15, 2004 11:02 AM


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