November 24, 2004

Sleeps With The Fishes Squirrels

I'm working from home today. I grabbed my cup of coffee and went out on the back deck overlooking my backyard. In doing so, I noticed that we had a visitor - a squirrel. A very dead squirrel.

Now, I'm not one for conspiracy theories but what are the chances this is an accident? Far from a high-crime area, our neighborhood is quiet and scerene. But its Fall, and the summer of Timmy The Lawnboy has passed. Last year I felt compelled to rake my own leaves and turn down his offers of help shoveling snow. I can't help but feel, a la Godfather, that this is his horse-head-in-the-bed way of saying, "let me rake your lawn, bitch." Granted, the kid's only ten or eleven. But still. I guess the fact that he mowed the lawn in a custom-tailored Italian suit should have tipped me off.

Posted by Chris at November 24, 2004 7:57 AM

Awww, poor little squirrel. I know they are menaces to homeowners everywhere, but they make me smile.

You are too funny, Mr. Cactus. Have fun working from home today!

Posted by: lady jane at November 24, 2004 8:32 AM

You can be as cute as you want, you aren't getting out of dealing with the squirrel. I am a delicate flower and cannot possibly be expected to dispose of it myself.

Posted by: Mrs. Cactus at November 24, 2004 8:34 AM

Is that kind of like the horse head in bed in "The Godfather"?

Posted by: Krush at November 24, 2004 8:35 AM

Damn I cant stand 12 year old little boys! Such smart asses!

Posted by: Amber at November 24, 2004 8:51 AM

Sounds totally ala New Jersey style...and I am with the Mrs. on this one...get out the gloves.

Posted by: debby at November 24, 2004 9:18 AM

ROTFLMAO! All I could picture is this squirrel swinging on a vine, doing the tarzan call, and then crashing into your back door. Splat.

As for disposing of it, you got a grill, don't ya?

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at November 24, 2004 9:55 AM

Do you have a rake? Just, you know, fling it into the woods or something.

Ew, I want to believe that I am all tough but I am grossing myself out.

Posted by: supine at November 24, 2004 10:16 AM

poor squirrel :( ... have a great day working from home :) ...

Posted by: Rosie at November 24, 2004 10:19 AM

What you've failed to describe, and what will clarify the message the dead squirrel is intended to convey (if any), is how it was positioned. Were its little paws arranged to cover its eyes? Was there a miniature yellow rose clasped within its jaws? I am pensive, waiting for the answers.

Posted by: Bond Girl at November 24, 2004 10:51 AM

Poor little, innocent, wee squirrel. Here's a little furry woodland creature to replace the once you lost. click here for furry woodland creature :)

Happy working from home! I am so jealous and stuff!

Posted by: groovebunny at November 24, 2004 11:10 AM

Okay, the mob has really gone too far now. Having 11 year old mob bosses kill squirrels on your deck? Do they have NO scrupples at all? I plan on writing an extremely heated letter.... and signing a different name. Perhaps... a game show host? ;)

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at November 24, 2004 11:35 AM

I love working at home. It's so nice to have the option to do that. I guess that's why I continue to work for less than I deserve - at least they buy me all the geek toys I want, let me work from home, and put up with my crazy antics and aversion to shoes... :)

I suggest a proper burial for the squirrel. You could write a little something to say for the poor lil' fella...

Posted by: Sabine at November 24, 2004 12:04 PM

I'm thinking this is definitely a retribution kill. Dude, let him rake your lawn. He might progress to something bigger than a squirrel, and then what? I guess you could turn the tables on him and toss, like, a dead elephant into his yard. That wouldn't be very Thanksgiving-like, though.

Posted by: Heather at November 24, 2004 12:26 PM