December 20, 2004

Cold Penguin Fluffing

I'm not sure if I prefer my chestnuts roasting on an open fire or jack frost nipping at my nose...but its still really cold.

In other news, I managed to survive all my meetings. But it was a near thing. I think people seem more stupid when you're geared up for taking a few days off. Zero tolerance for asshats is my rule this week. For example, lets take the person I almost yelled at this afternoon. We'll call her Maurice, for Maurice is a very unfortunate name for a woman, and she seems to be a very unfortunate woman.

Maurice and I had a very long conversation on Friday...all about a process I've helped put in place for one particular client. Let's call it fluffing the penguin, because it, like the conversation, is silly...and it sounds vaguely dirty. We talked all about fluffing the penguin. We talked about the need for penguin fluffing, correct penguin fluffing techniques and the existing penguin fluffing process. This afternoon I, among many others, received an email that stated, in part, "we understand there's a need to fluff the penguin for this particular client and there's no set penguin fluffing process in place. We'd like your penguin fluffing expertise to help design a fluffing process for this particular penguin." Exactly what part of I've already fluffed the penguin did she not understand?

Posted by Chris at December 20, 2004 5:29 PM

Can you make a shirt and sell it that says "Zero Tolerance for Asshats"? We could donate the proceeds...

Posted by: alektra at December 20, 2004 6:41 PM

OK i'd try to give you some pithy advice about dealing with asshats, but I can't get past the whole fluffing the penguin thing.....nope just can't do it! :-)

Posted by: Nina at December 20, 2004 6:48 PM

Hmmm...maybe she's looking for specific instructions for a certain species of penguin. For instance, Gentoos vs. Emperors. I happen to love the Gentoos. They're cuter and don't have as much of a Emperor complex as the Emperor penguins have, therefore would be easier to fluff! :)

Posted by: groovebunny at December 20, 2004 6:52 PM

LOL. Are you wearing Beth's knitted cap??? Cool pic btw. :)

Posted by: groovebunny at December 20, 2004 7:38 PM

Sorry about maurice and her fluffing your penguin. Dirty.

Posted by: Mary Jo at December 20, 2004 11:11 PM

At least penguins are cute.

(And the winner of "Missed the Entire Point" award goes to...) ;)

Posted by: Spring at December 20, 2004 11:38 PM

Just think how impressive "penguin fluffing" will look on your resume, though. If that's not a conversation-starter, I don't know what is.

Posted by: Dawnie at December 21, 2004 9:54 AM

we need to get Maurice and Buttercup together. Jeesh.

Posted by: Snidget at December 21, 2004 10:32 AM

I second the request for the T-shirt...

Posted by: Kitty at December 21, 2004 10:55 AM

If you have shirts made with the "Zero tolerance for asshats" on it, I will buy at least two of them!

Posted by: doulazanie at December 21, 2004 11:08 AM

Maruice is simply jealous because she cannot fluff penguins as well as you can, and she knows she'll never be able to because of the fact that she is an unfortunate person, particularily in penguin fluffing.

Asshats, I like that!

Posted by: Jade at December 21, 2004 12:54 PM

On the T-shirt requests... I vote for a T-shirt that says "I've already fluffed the penguin."

Posted by: Gweny at December 21, 2004 2:26 PM

You may have fluffed the penguin, but did you put the coversheet on the TPS reports?

Posted by: Kelley at December 21, 2004 2:50 PM

Actually, that t-shirt is a good idea. I'll throw in my vote for that one.

Posted by: Spring at December 21, 2004 3:13 PM

Ahhh I missed you Chris. Glad to be back in the cactus patch again. Fluffing The Penguin and Asshats are that je-ne-sais-quois missing form my daily exixstance for a few weeks.
BTW, I met a nervous and mindlessly chatty woman named Dorcus last month (call me "Dorie"...OK no prob!), perhaps an even more unfortunate name than Maurice.

Posted by: Geezitron at December 21, 2004 11:08 PM

Damn cool pic of a grumpy from asshats, who don't get fluffing the penguin, I didn't shave cause it is too damn cold Cactus look!

Posted by: Gypsy at December 31, 2004 2:50 AM