December 20, 2004
Cold Penguin Fluffing
I'm not sure if I prefer my chestnuts roasting on an open fire or jack frost nipping at my nose...but its still really cold.
In other news, I managed to survive all my meetings. But it was a near thing. I think people seem more stupid when you're geared up for taking a few days off. Zero tolerance for asshats is my rule this week. For example, lets take the person I almost yelled at this afternoon. We'll call her Maurice, for Maurice is a very unfortunate name for a woman, and she seems to be a very unfortunate woman.
Maurice and I had a very long conversation on Friday...all about a process I've helped put in place for one particular client. Let's call it fluffing the penguin, because it, like the conversation, is silly...and it sounds vaguely dirty. We talked all about fluffing the penguin. We talked about the need for penguin fluffing, correct penguin fluffing techniques and the existing penguin fluffing process. This afternoon I, among many others, received an email that stated, in part, "we understand there's a need to fluff the penguin for this particular client and there's no set penguin fluffing process in place. We'd like your penguin fluffing expertise to help design a fluffing process for this particular penguin." Exactly what part of I've already fluffed the penguin did she not understand?
Posted by Chris at December 20, 2004 5:29 PM
Can you make a shirt and sell it that says "Zero Tolerance for Asshats"? We could donate the proceeds...
OK i'd try to give you some pithy advice about dealing with asshats, but I can't get past the whole fluffing the penguin thing.....nope just can't do it! :-)
Hmmm...maybe she's looking for specific instructions for a certain species of penguin. For instance, Gentoos vs. Emperors. I happen to love the Gentoos. They're cuter and don't have as much of a Emperor complex as the Emperor penguins have, therefore would be easier to fluff! :)
LOL. Are you wearing Beth's knitted cap??? Cool pic btw. :)
Sorry about maurice and her fluffing your penguin. Dirty.
At least penguins are cute.
(And the winner of "Missed the Entire Point" award goes to...) ;)
Just think how impressive "penguin fluffing" will look on your resume, though. If that's not a conversation-starter, I don't know what is.
we need to get Maurice and Buttercup together. Jeesh.
I second the request for the T-shirt...
If you have shirts made with the "Zero tolerance for asshats" on it, I will buy at least two of them!
Maruice is simply jealous because she cannot fluff penguins as well as you can, and she knows she'll never be able to because of the fact that she is an unfortunate person, particularily in penguin fluffing.
Asshats, I like that!
On the T-shirt requests... I vote for a T-shirt that says "I've already fluffed the penguin."
You may have fluffed the penguin, but did you put the coversheet on the TPS reports?
Actually, that t-shirt is a good idea. I'll throw in my vote for that one.
Ahhh I missed you Chris. Glad to be back in the cactus patch again. Fluffing The Penguin and Asshats are that je-ne-sais-quois missing form my daily exixstance for a few weeks.
BTW, I met a nervous and mindlessly chatty woman named Dorcus last month (call me "Dorie"...OK no prob!), perhaps an even more unfortunate name than Maurice.
Damn cool pic of a grumpy from asshats, who don't get fluffing the penguin, I didn't shave cause it is too damn cold Cactus look!