December 13, 2004

Still Monday, Still Kinda Sucky

Okay, okay. Mea culpa. So, I mentioned earlier that there was a 'technical glitch' and thereby dodged some of the blame for my own failings. Its true but some of its also my fault. But frankly, when your boss (X5) has just left your office, you'll tend to do a little bit of justifying in your own head.

After we last spoke, I headed to Maryland for a long meeting with a client who couldn't quite articulate the exact nature of their problems. This was fine because I? Simulated the English language but not convincingly, much like that 'diamondoid' you saw on the home shopping channel. It reminds you of a diamond yet remains unsatisfying. Somehow there was a complete disconnect between my brain and my mouth all damn day, in which I knew what I wanted to say, got half of if out of my mouth and then seemingly decided to rethink the whole thing. That's okay...I was doing a lot of thinking. Allow me to illustrate several of the conversations I had with myself.

Conversation One
Me: Hey, why the hell is this Enter key doing nothing?
Me: Well, buster, probably because that's the Shift key you've been hitting for the last, oh, twenty minutes.
Me: No I wasn't.
Me: Yes you were...

Conversation Two
Me: Locked door. Imagine that.
Me: You know what would make this "getting into your office" thing a little easier?
Me: My badge? Oh! Good idea! Where's my badge?
Me: Last I saw it, it was in your office.
Me: Dumbass.
Me: Who you calling a dumbass?

Conversation Three
Me: "As I was saying, in order to..."
Me: What's the word I'm looking for? The one that means "mitigate."
Me: bout "mitigate"?
Me: Genius!
Me: "...mitigate these problems..."

Allow me to conclude my rambling post (apparently my fingers have somehow succumbed to that whole brain-mouth issue) by saying what you're all thinking. Mondays? They suck. Big donkey balls. Big hairy donkey balls with ass on the side...

Posted by Chris at December 13, 2004 5:35 PM

Thank's Chris. Now I'm gonna have a vision of big hairy donkey balls with ass or an ass on the side while I'm sitting in my meeting with my boss this afternoon! doh!

At least your day is almost over? I have to play Bunco (with no alcohol) with my office mates tonight. Fun! Not!

Posted by: groovebunny at December 13, 2004 5:44 PM

If it makes you feel any better, my Monday has sucked ass as well. And it's my birthday. Go figure. I should have taken the day off.

Posted by: Jazzy at December 13, 2004 6:18 PM

How-how! And the name is DUMAS.

Posted by: bmh at December 13, 2004 6:30 PM

Big donkey balls. Big hairy donkey balls with ass on the side...

Sounds like a Fear Factor meal du jour.

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at December 13, 2004 7:15 PM

The day is done. Yay!

Posted by: alektra at December 13, 2004 7:49 PM

Yeah ditto on the nasty image of hairy donkey balls and ass ala carte. yikes!

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at December 13, 2004 9:07 PM

i had today off, so i am unaware of the suckage that is monday that occurred today. um...yeah. i slept and was lazy and then exercised my butt off. (no, not ALL the way off. that would make wearing pants awful difficult.)

here's to a better tomorrow!

Posted by: tiffanie at December 13, 2004 10:18 PM

I had a Monday too... GRR.

Posted by: Mary Jo at December 14, 2004 12:07 AM

Yup! Even smells like ass!

It was so bad today, of course coming off a full moon in my line of work is NUTZ! But hey, I topped it off by SLAMMING MY OWN HAND IN MY TRUCK DOOR! Call be Grace!

Posted by: Gypsy at December 14, 2004 12:15 AM

I hate having arguments with myself and losing hehehe!

Posted by: Nina at December 14, 2004 12:50 AM

Here's hoping Tuesday is much, much better. I recommend an extra doughnut at Dunkin' Donuts, just in case.

Posted by: samantha at December 14, 2004 8:41 AM

Big hairy donkey balls with ass on the side....
yet again mr. cactus, i've spit coffee all over the keyboard.
Now I plan on going back to bed.
Thanks for that laugh!
Hopefully tuesday won't hold any hairy animal nether regions to ruin your day! :)

Posted by: Jade at December 14, 2004 9:08 AM

ROFL!! I'm laughing with you, not at you, really! Because I've had very similar conversations with myself. I can be a total dumbass!

Posted by: Amy at December 14, 2004 10:47 AM

Holy crap, I'm totally jealous: your convo's with yourself are far superior to my convo's with real life people.

Posted by: judy at December 14, 2004 11:23 AM

yeah and tuesdays- they suck green oozing puss infected goat balls too.

Posted by: stinkerbell at December 15, 2004 10:15 AM