April 13, 2005


As Beth and I were sitting around on the couch watching a little television the other night our little Beanette starting dancing in-utero. Beth grabbed my hand, placed it on her stomach and, mere seconds later, I got kicked.

Can I tell you what a freaky and cool feeling that is? No. Because its really difficult to put it into words. There's someone inside my wife, who I helped create, who will, eventually, come out into the world screaming, spitting up and pooping. Who will eventually learn to speak and communicate and write and argue and take the car in the middle of the night without my permission so she can hook up with a guy with pierced bits and long hair who I will disapprove of because, although he is probably quite like I was at that age, he's toying with my daughter and that just ain't right. And? He's probably quite like I was at that age and that's some scary shit.

It starts with a kick. Where it leads, I'm not sure. I've never done this before. But I can't wait to find out. Well, except for some of that pooping and spitting up...but that's par for the course.

Posted by Chris at April 13, 2005 8:49 AM

Life can be amazing can't it? Our bodies are amazing things, and they give us such great gifts. I'm so happy that you and Beth are having a child - you're going to be wonderful parents.

Posted by: Autumn at April 13, 2005 9:09 AM

Don't even think about where it all leads. Enjoy the wonder of the moment. Mark it indelibly on your memory chips. You will need it. A memory that has carried me far is sitting in Hill Auditorium listening to Aaron Copland (this dates me...) conducting Fanfare for the Common Man and right with the cymbals Dan gave a mighty kick that caught the attention of the people sitting on either side of us. I drag up that memory now when I get things like yesterday's mail: Dan's car will be impounded by the Cleveland Heights police if he doesn't pay off 8 parking tickets, a tuition bill, a high risk auto insurance bill...oh! he's turned out to be a fine musician. :-)
Congratulations to you! It's a great and wonderful ride.

Posted by: Vicki at April 13, 2005 9:17 AM

Or she could be the angel we all expect....sometimes the sassiest are the best, just ask my husband. I bought a present for you and Beth, I just need to see where you would like it sent. J

Posted by: jennifer at April 13, 2005 9:28 AM

I have been having these same thoughts about our little girl coming in to the world. LittleJuJu has already been breifed on the job of big brother and all that it entails, such as kicking guys asses for touching his sister.

Posted by: JuJuBee at April 13, 2005 9:32 AM

Hey Chris...I can tell you that it never gets old...not even with your fourth kid. Congrats and enjoy the ride!

Posted by: JP at April 13, 2005 10:27 AM

Ooh wow, such a miracle is life. *sigh*
A co-worker just had a little girl & named her Kennedy Reese. That is a great name, wish I had thought of it first. They said they will be calling her Reese though. I like both Kennedy & Reagan as names for girls. Androg & sexy I think... well sexy as i don't know.

Posted by: angel at April 13, 2005 10:30 AM

I felt my sister's baby move in her eigth month and that was so weird. You can actually feel the baby move inside... not just a kick... m-o-v-e! It is a strange feeling to think about a whole person INSIDE another! But very cool :)

Glad you are experiencing this and also glad you posted about it :) Stop freaking Beth out :)

Posted by: Luna at April 13, 2005 10:32 AM

It IS a wonderous and miraculous feeling to have a baby moving inside.Theres a feeling of deep peace that you have created another human being.Beth is lucky to have a loving husband to share it with..and of course you are lucky to have such a gorgeous,cute wife:)
Enjoy it.To have a child born into a home of love is the greatest blessing of all.

Posted by: butterflies at April 13, 2005 10:37 AM

How exciting! It has always been pretty awesome to feel my friends' babies kicking -- it must be extra cool when it is your very own kid.

Posted by: bad penguin at April 13, 2005 10:45 AM

What's REALLY trippy is when you can actually see the kick happen (little bulge pops out of wife's tummy, kind of like in the "Alien" movies...of course, my wife had a C-section, which was REALLY like the "Alien" movies...but I digress), and when the little one is big enough so that you can see and feel the head, or a foot. It's exhilarating. It makes every bad thing that's ever happened in your life seem inconsequential.

Posted by: Jason at April 13, 2005 10:51 AM

are you sure it's not an alien baby?

Posted by: jodi at April 13, 2005 11:04 AM

Life is beautiful!

You made me laugh since I am going through all the things you just mentioned. Sort of. They will for sure happen to one degree or another. Egads, it's hard, but it is worth it. Because, well, life is beautiful!

Posted by: Ms. Q at April 13, 2005 11:45 AM

whoa, slow down! don't borrow all that trouble right now, but isn't it funny and wonderful when you realize - hey, this is a real person, and not just a hypothetical baby? I'm still so happy for you two, and thanks for sharing it with us!

Posted by: samantha at April 13, 2005 12:20 PM

For you, it's an amazing kick in the palm. For your wife, it's a swift kick in the kidneys. It's all about perspective. Still, kids are a constant wonder. My baby will be 21 this May and she still is a constant source of wonder, anger, amusement, happiness and frustration (and everything else in between these).

Posted by: BillH at April 13, 2005 12:35 PM

OOhh, Ooh! Put a big plate on her belly and watch it swivel around. Its cool. You'll like it.

Something else funny to do. Get a small windup music box and put it on Beth's belly every night and let the music play while she sits quietly. Then after the baby is born, you turn on that music box and the kid will instantly fall asleep. No joke. We did it. Its cool. Try it!

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at April 13, 2005 1:44 PM

I had something kicked me in the belly last night too. I guess I shouldn't have had Del Taco so late in the evening...

Posted by: Oakley at April 13, 2005 2:09 PM

Yay! I am so envious...That is so fuckin cool!

Posted by: Carrie Jo at April 13, 2005 2:25 PM

the whole person inside of a person idea is cool. it's the whole pushing it out part that makes me squirm. *shuddering*

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at April 13, 2005 2:31 PM

poop aint so bad, i have to change it all the time at work, lol!! damn kids, i wish they'd finish toilet training already!!

Posted by: lizabetty at April 13, 2005 3:07 PM

I do miss that feeling... it's so nice.

Posted by: Snidget at April 13, 2005 3:50 PM

That's so cool! Is she going to start putting headphones on her belly to educate the baby about proper music? :)

Posted by: Carla at April 13, 2005 3:53 PM

Just don't hold her up and coo at her after she's eaten. That's bad news right there.

Posted by: Queen of Ass at April 13, 2005 4:47 PM

without having any kids of my own (but hpefully someday, fingers crossed) all i can say is that you hope you have brought them up right, and that you trust them to do the right thing when they go crazy, no matter how long or when that rebellious, stupid stage comes along.

Posted by: chlamygirl at April 13, 2005 5:44 PM

Your daughter is going to laugh so hard some day reading your words. You are right, there is this miraculous amazement knowing that there is a part of your love united into one little being inside your wife. It is an outstanding feeling that one can not possibly know the magnitude of until they are in the position of pending parenthood and parenthood. Wait til she is born. You will be completely intoxicated with this sweet blessing that is yours. :)

Posted by: Tricia at April 13, 2005 6:40 PM

Pierced bits??? Man, your imagination is waaayyyyy toooooo far into overdrive!

Posted by: ironic1 at April 13, 2005 6:58 PM

Don't let me rain on your parade...I am thrilled for you two because you are living your dream and seem to be the responsible parent-types...but I am not a big fan of babies and even less so of pregnancy . After filming a friends childbirth and witnessing another I can assure you that the only gore-factor is the placenta expulsion (and possible episiotomy..boy you will be down for the count if you see that whole deal!). Man,if you can get past that (not to mention feeling helpless because your wife is in terrible pain) then cord-cutting is a walk in the park. But when you are there you will be so caught up and happy that won't care if a truckload of fish guts dumps on you.

Posted by: Geezitron at April 13, 2005 8:51 PM

How exciting!
But you're right. It starts with a kick and then suddenly you blink and she's all grown up. Just make sure you take lots of pictures and have family dinners every night and it won't feel like you've missed everything.

Posted by: Kitty at April 13, 2005 10:34 PM

I have a good friend, he's gay and told me when I was pregnant that the one thing he wanted to feel was the baby kick. He said he highly doubted that he would ever feel if it wasn't for me. I tried, but every time Princess kicked, and I called him over, she would stop lol!! Amazing thing isn't it????

Posted by: Nina at April 13, 2005 11:21 PM

Heh. You are so right. It starts with that kick and time flies my friend. My little baby just turned 17. And the boyfriend? Yeah, spikey mohawk. Plays drums for two different bands here in town. He's a ROCKER! Probably a lot like you when you were that age. :) They do grow up fast. Enjoy every single minute of it!

Posted by: Keri at April 14, 2005 1:54 PM

I say you prbably deserved the kick you got , you scally wag.... whats a little gore in yer face any ways. Hell in a few months you'll regaling us with stories of when beanette puked on you, hahahahahaha, kids are a hoot !!!

Posted by: shaners at April 14, 2005 6:20 PM


My brother is going to be a dad in June and I CANNOT WAIT TO BE AN AUNTIE!

I'm going to spoil that little girl rotten.

But I live too far away to feel any kicking. Maybe she'll be jumping around during the baby shower next month and I'll get a chance.


Posted by: Mala at April 14, 2005 8:43 PM

Some of the greatest memories of my life were sitting on the sofa, my husband's hand on my belly, and me asking "Did you FEEL THAT?"

And can I just tell you? You forgot "farting" and trust me, The Farting is the best! There's nothing like a sweet, adorable baby girl being ripping em' like she just don't care. The poop that follows? Not so great.

Posted by: Y at April 16, 2005 8:43 AM