April 21, 2005

Me & Zippy

Remember a while back when I got a new car? Right. Everything has been going wonderfully between Zippy and I. You see, a bond has been forged. Zippy is functional yet sophisticated, all sleek and German. Zippy doesn't let me look like a typical lame 30-something guy behind the wheel of any old station wagon. No, Zippy looks out for me like that. Zippy tolerates the fact that I occasionally leave Dunkin Donuts bags lying on one of her floormats. And the fact that I often leave the backseat littered with ties. Zippy is forgiving. But Zippy and I? Well, I think we've had some miscommunication going on. Perhaps she doesn't think I'm worthy of driving her any longer.

For the last week, I've noticed that Zippy has a mind of her own. She accellerates all by herself, with little input from me. I don't know about you, but that's a little unnerving to me. Zippy, what the hell are you doing, I wonder. Hmmm, maybe I'm on a downhill slope or something...but I'm not. Holy crap, will I be able to stop? Yet I always am and things eventually go back to normal. I've noodled it through quite a bit and I haven't been able to figure out what's causing Zippy to fail me so sporadically. Until this afternoon.

Zippy is an uncomplicated car. And I'm no rocket scientist but I've been able to figure the whole thing out pretty easily. I know which buttons to push, which switches to flip. There's one little toggle switch I really enjoy playing with. I never really paid attention to the label - cruise control.

Posted by Chris at April 21, 2005 8:15 PM

Hee hee hee...



Posted by: alektra at April 21, 2005 8:40 PM

zippy, the love jetta (it is a jetta, right?) ... you need to paint a big "53" on it. hee hee.

Posted by: tj at April 21, 2005 8:49 PM


there is that feeling in the pit of your stomach, when cruise control accelerates for you... i love that!

Posted by: jodi at April 21, 2005 8:56 PM

RTFM... dude


Posted by: etherian at April 21, 2005 9:07 PM

good god man!!! just blame it on the sleep deprivation, lol!!

Posted by: lizabetty at April 21, 2005 9:43 PM


For the record, I love cruise control. Did you konw that if you just tap "coast" you'll decrease your speed by 1 mph? And if you tap "acc..." (wow, I'm so NOT going to look up that word right this minute) you'll increase your speed by 1 mph? I didn't know that until a month ago or so and I've been using cruise control for 20 years or better. Who's the doof now? ;)

Posted by: Iki at April 21, 2005 9:49 PM


My Equinox and I had a similar miscommunication for awhile... I just wasn't paying attention to the fact that the buttons were in a different place than in my last car.

Posted by: amber at April 21, 2005 11:18 PM

AND you haven't had the baby yet? Now your scaring me! GET SLEEP NOW! It only gets worse! AND pay attention man! (giggle, snort!)

Posted by: Gypsy at April 21, 2005 11:34 PM

Der! Hate when THAT happens.

Posted by: Broad at April 21, 2005 11:35 PM

ROFLMAO OMG that's just BAD! That's worse than looking for the sunglasses on top of your head. Okay maybe not, but still.

Posted by: Pink Sun Drops at April 22, 2005 1:05 AM

My god, you had me worried for a minute. I thought you were riding along in Christine or something! Funny stuff.

Posted by: Spring at April 22, 2005 1:41 AM

that is brilliant!

Posted by: stinkerbell at April 22, 2005 4:25 AM

Hahaha! Glad you and Zippy get along! :))

Posted by: Sweety at April 22, 2005 4:44 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Sounds like something I wouldn't notice, too.

Posted by: Ginny at April 22, 2005 8:51 AM


i remember in my first car (an audi 5000)(hey, i was a spoiled suburbanite) i had the passenger seat heat and the rear defroster button confused... the back window was never clear but boy did my friends have warms buns!

Posted by: monique at April 22, 2005 9:07 AM

LOL! I can imagine how those talks with Zippy went :)

Posted by: Luna at April 22, 2005 10:37 AM

Zippy? I just love that. I named my old car Luther. Luther is 6 feet under now. :(

Posted by: Gweny at April 22, 2005 11:11 AM

Ah, yes, the oblivious controller. Well, you do get to have fun stuff as they get a little older. I love my little Jetta, it's almost 10 years old and still tickin'. Only a few minor issues though. In her defense I crashed her twice, but her driver's door lock fell out, causing me to have to lock and unlock the door from the passenger side. But I've been doing this for years now, doesn't everyone do this? Her latest trick is the speedometer stops. I'm just driving along going 70 and then I'm going zero, but the car is still moving. As an added bonus, when this happens it also affects the gas gauge and it tells me I have zero gas. But I love her anyway.

Posted by: Jazzy at April 22, 2005 11:49 AM

nice... very nice! *chuckle* this is a classic, you know...?? but i wouldn't put it past myself... i'd probably do the same thing if i had a car with all the bells and whistles. for now, though, i got to rely on my arms to roll down the windows and lock the doors, and my foot to make sure i dont speed up to 95mph (because sometimes i do, and i pray to God some cop won't catch me while my foot is temporarily dipped in lead). cruise control would be nice!

Posted by: Dubs at April 22, 2005 11:52 AM

LOL! That is totally something I have done! Getting to know new cars can be an adventure. I've had mine for a year and I am still figuring things out.

Posted by: Ms. Q at April 22, 2005 11:55 AM

"Zippy" is short for the full German name - Zippeneingefruzenstateleibling. Jah? Oder nein?

Posted by: Jason at April 22, 2005 1:16 PM

HA HA HA!!!!!! Go Zippy Go... Weeeeeeeeeeeee
Glad to see your keeping the humor in your life Chris!

Posted by: Tammy at April 22, 2005 1:53 PM

Yay for Zippy!
We just bought a '72 Camaro with a 327 to restore. (It's already partway restored, so it won't take us forever.) I'm pretty excited because I know it's going to be a very fast car. :)

Posted by: Kitty at April 22, 2005 7:26 PM

Heee! I'm just imagining your face...

Posted by: Fraulein N at April 23, 2005 12:58 PM

I know *exactly* how you felt when you figured it all out.... been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. It's good to know we're not alone. ;o)

Posted by: ironic1 at April 23, 2005 3:44 PM

I was thinking your car was possessed!
You're blond, right?

Posted by: Jade at April 23, 2005 4:00 PM

Be careful ol' prickly one... There are all sorts of other buttons in there too. Perhaps one of the nights you're having trouble sleeping, reading that owners manual would be helpful. ;-)

(said by a person who's had her car for more than a year and still hasn't cracked the book in her glove box...)

Posted by: dianne at April 23, 2005 8:41 PM

It's so easy with the VW's to speed! Wilson is a tubo bug and I can look down at the speedometer and see that I'm going 90+ and not even realize it.

Posted by: Snidget at April 24, 2005 11:10 AM

Best girl from USA!

Posted by: Knife Messer at May 4, 2005 2:44 PM