April 12, 2005

The Presentation

With Monday behind us all, I'd like to think that the worst part of the week is over. But...well...not so much. Aside from the fact that I haven't slept much in two days and I've got a killer headache, well, its not going to be a pleasant day. You see, while I might seem marginally confident and together (sometimes) here, I'm not always like that. And one of the things that scares me to my very soul is stading up in front of a group of people to give a presentation. Which is precisely what I've got to do this afternoon.

I suppose it could be worse. I could be...

...back in college, just waking up to the realization that I have a final in five minutes and skipped class so often I have no idea where the classroom is

...one of those dudes that empties septic tanks for a living and drives one of those big-ass trucks full of god knows what (but god really does know and so do we...ew) all day long

...Michael Jackson

...one of Michael Jackson's kids

...in prison, having been falsely accused and tried after being set up by a one-armed man

...under attack by evil, alien forces sent on a mission to uproot humanity from the solar system and mine the earth for its vast quantities of Twinkies and romance novels, without which their civilization will be unable to maintain itself for more than another five pixtrons (roughly equivalent to a thousand of our earth years)...

So, yeah, I guess it could be worse. Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. I should be reporting back in, oh, about another .0015 pixtrons.

Posted by Chris at April 12, 2005 8:29 AM

Dude, calculated that in my head. And. that scares me. Good luck today.

Posted by: Autumn at April 12, 2005 9:08 AM

Is it Friday yet?!

Posted by: judy at April 12, 2005 9:21 AM

oh my god, i think i'd fall down some stairs and break my own foot, if i were you. rather than give a presentation.

Posted by: jodi at April 12, 2005 9:29 AM

you could be naked, running backwards through your house and all your door handles are covered with peanut butter. that's REALLY bad ... er, so i've heard.

Posted by: tj at April 12, 2005 9:39 AM

Good luck on the presentation. A tip to conquer stage fright. THE ANAGRAM OF RUDE CACTUS IS ACCUSE TURD!

Posted by: mrsmogul at April 12, 2005 9:45 AM

Good luck with the presentation! They always make me nervous too. Although now I've got bigger problems, what with these aliens coming to take my Twinkies and romance novels...

Posted by: bad penguin at April 12, 2005 9:50 AM

I tried to post a really good one for you and the computer ate it! Let me try again! Everyone that has to do presentations are scared! I don't like doing them either! Before I go on stage I throw up and shake!

So remember to Breathe, smile your face won't crack and fall off your bones! After I do that I choose about 4 or 5 people strategically placed in the crowd, Left/Center/Right and lock my eyes on them, smile, and continue to talk, looking at each of those people, that way there everyone in the crowd thinks you are talking to them. Oh and speak up, use your voice, think of a black dot on the back of the room to bounce your voice from. Breathe!

Remember that in work life 10% is talent and 90% is acting! You are a good actor, relax! Love ya Mr. Cactus! If that doesn't work think of Mrs. Fish and the Lima Bean!

Posted by: Gypsy at April 12, 2005 10:02 AM

Good luck on your presentation!! You can do it, I'm sure!

... or you could be Sweety having yet another school exam tonight!

Posted by: Sweety at April 12, 2005 10:07 AM

God luck witht he presentating! Power point rocks! And if that doesn't work - flip charts rule!

Posted by: Sue at April 12, 2005 10:25 AM

Good luck!

At least if you were in prison for the murder of your wife, having been set-up by a one-armed man, you'd get to escape, jump off a high tunnel into cold water, go to a parade, and listen to Tommy Lee Jones for awhile, and you'd know that it will all be okay.

Posted by: jenorama at April 12, 2005 10:34 AM

Wow! I thought I was the only one who feared presentations! Does your throat parch? Mine does! Good luck! But honestly? I didn't think you'd have any such fears :)

Posted by: Luna at April 12, 2005 10:44 AM

Good luck! Or am I too late wishing you that??

Posted by: JustAgirl at April 12, 2005 10:47 AM

I totally undestand how you're feeling. I so dislike public speaking. In school, I would have rather taken a failing grade than stand up and give an oral report. I still can't do it. So, you have my sympathy. Good luck!

Posted by: Milly at April 12, 2005 11:40 AM

giving presentations doesn't bother me so much as that whole "just imagine it's a room full of people in their underwear" advice. don't.ever.do.that.

you'll end up too petrified to speak.

i mean, tightie whities? grandma panties?

i shudder at the thought.

Posted by: jen at April 12, 2005 1:33 PM

Ugh, I hate giving presentations. My advice? Don't speak too fast (always my downfall), and don't let your mind wander, because, again. Bad things.
Good luck!

Posted by: Heather at April 12, 2005 1:37 PM

Good luck! Despite being an extremely outgoing and talkative person, I despise speaking in front of crowds. I find myself speaking 10x's as fast as usually and shaking, it's pathetic. I'm sure YOU'LL do fine though. ;)

Posted by: A.K. at April 12, 2005 2:03 PM

nanu nanu. yeah, i feel bad for poor prince and poor blanket jackson, thats their names right??? and, wait...billy jeans not their mother??

Posted by: lizabetty at April 12, 2005 2:52 PM

Three words of advice. Be the ball.

Posted by: Jason at April 12, 2005 5:02 PM

"back in college, just waking up to the realization that I have a final in five minutes and skipped class so often I have no idea where the classroom is"

that is a reoccuring nightmare for me.

Posted by: Snidget at April 13, 2005 3:51 PM