September 18, 2005

The Great Escape

Get this - last night, Beth and I went out. To dinner. Alone. Yes, bottles were filled, diaper bags packed and grandparents enlisted. After eight weeks of trial-by-fire parenting, we still have things to say to each other. Of course, we mostly talked about Mia. We made it through a wonderful meal at our favorite Indian place with only one phone call to the grandparents. Then we looked for a Starbucks. Didn't find one (can you believe it? its not like we were in Beruit. And I bet they actually have fine coffee establishments in Beruit.). Found ourselves just driving around aimlessly. And enjoying it. Then, of course, we raced back to pick up Mia because we just couldn't stand being away from her anymore.

I learned a couple things. A night out with Beth is still wonderful but leaving your child behind anywhere - even with the most wonderful, patient grandparents in the world - is massively difficult.

Posted by Chris at September 18, 2005 9:21 AM
Comments

you did better than we did... we lasted a grand total of two hours, and called a number of times.

Nice to feel like adults again, ain't it? Wait until you decide to leave her overnight.

Posted by: Nat at September 18, 2005 9:25 AM

I remember that feeling! Trust me you'll get over it...in 2 years you'll be BEGGING people to let you out!!! I'm kidding (sort of)! I still call home while we're out!

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at September 18, 2005 9:41 AM

Look at all of that HAIR! How adorable! All of mine were bald, with tufts of fuzz, LOL. It is hard, leaving a baby behind with anyone. It gets easier as they grow up, but you'll find that Mia will still be what you and Beth talk about the most when you are out without her.

Posted by: Theresa at September 18, 2005 10:14 AM

You both have the same little pseudo-mowhawks in that picture. SO cute!

Kinda wishing MD and I had a Mia to mentally drag (or pull us, it's not a negative thing) home last night...after a meal at an Indian Buffet restaurant, we ended up just staying out and enjoying the annual jazz & blues fest that rocks our sleepy little town every September. Great idea at the time....although my throbbing head suggests disagreement at the moment.

Posted by: wn at September 18, 2005 10:20 AM

It is hard to leave them, esp when they are so small, but IMO it is a crucial part of their developement. I'll never forget the first time I left Hannah with someone other than my family. She was 6 months old and had just learned how to sit up. I placed her on the soft throw my friend had laid out for her and she was surrounded with toys. I waved bye-bye to her but I swear she refused to give me eye contact - I guess I wanted her to act like she was going to miss me, but she was intent on the toys and even when I got in her face she would turn her head away as if to say 'Go on mom, leave me to it. This is my space!'... I realised that day that she was more than just an extension of me; she was her own wee person.

Posted by: Amber at September 18, 2005 10:25 AM

good for you guys!!! it's good for you guys to get away from the norm and spend time alone. nice pic :)

Posted by: lizabetty at September 18, 2005 10:25 AM

Leaving her, for short periods at least, will get easier and also become necessary for your and Beth's sanity and your marriage. In fact, it's essential.

Posted by: Hazel at September 18, 2005 10:33 AM

Keep trying- it's important. We made it to about 8 weeks, went out to one of the finer restaurants in town and ate a 4 course meal in about seven and a half minutes, all to the rhythm of the wind-up swing that was by then firmly grooved into our brains. We looked up at each other- were silent for a moment- and laughed and laughed at the changes dear, sweet, colicky Dan had wrought in our lives.
That hair! I so want that look at 80! Mia's a lovely and wild looking child. Enjoy.

Posted by: Vicki at September 18, 2005 10:34 AM

Since no one's said it, it's also great for Mia and the grandparents to have that bonding time, and once again, you two show how great of parents you are for allowing them that time so early on.

Glad everything went without a hitch. You all are the best.

Posted by: alektra at September 18, 2005 10:35 AM

Heh, heh. Love the funky baby hair. :)

Yeah, doesn't it seem wierd to be in the car without Mia? Its like you keep expecting to hear her in the back seat and then realize you are alone and can play loud music.

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at September 18, 2005 10:49 AM

The matching hair is definitely fab! Congrats on getting out a little bit. "Baby steps," if you will. Quality time with the grandparents while the parents have quality alone time is definitely nice once in awhile. It keeps me sane!

Posted by: Kari at September 18, 2005 11:14 AM

Congrats on your first night out without the baby! I can only imagine how hard it is, but I'm glad you two were able to get away for a little while.

And that hair! :)

Posted by: Kitty at September 18, 2005 11:24 AM

Wait until the first overnight trip at the grandparents. I can guarantee it will be the first time you will ever be up before your parents lol.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at September 18, 2005 11:26 AM

Could she look more like you?? Boy, poor Beth does all the work, and you get a little Mini-me right down to the hair . . . .some people have all the luck (just kidding :))

Posted by: wavybrains at September 18, 2005 12:30 PM

im glad to see you got out of the house with beth and had a good time, i know you love your kid but you do need alone time with your wife every now and then even if it only is for a monent and then to rush back to mia.

Later
Tony

Posted by: Tony at September 18, 2005 12:55 PM

I know everyone is raving about her hair, but I just have to throw in that I love it too! And she does look like you, but she definitely looks like Beth too.

Posted by: Heather at September 18, 2005 1:18 PM

It gets easier. What you did was great. You're lucky (as I was with My Kid) to have grandparents in town. My uninvited advice is that you set up a REGULAR date night. It only has to be for an hour or so.

Then...by the time she's a year old, she can start spending the night at Gramma's and you & Beth can have a WHOLE NIGHT TOGETHER. (I know, it sounds tortuous now, but you'll get there.)

Posted by: kalisah at September 18, 2005 1:31 PM

Congrats on the night out. I still haven't had one.. its been three years now.

Posted by: Angelia at September 18, 2005 3:40 PM

I think my daughter was three months old before I went out without her and I could barely stay away for an entire evening. Now, though, I'm always begging people to babysit so I can get a small break.

I love her hair in that pic.

Posted by: Betty at September 18, 2005 3:42 PM

Ross and I still spend half the time we're out to dinner without the girls talking about the girls. We have to coach one another to talk about non-parenting related things. It's funny though, I used to think, "Ugh, I hope I'm not one of THOSE type of parents." Now I realize, I wouldn't want to be any other way. The love that you have for your kids is so unique and amazing, why wouldn't you want to be that in love with them? And the fact that you can share that love with your spouse...all the better!

It's great to get away and spend time with your honey though...some alone time is necessary. I'm glad you guys were able to do it, and, as others have said, to give the grandparents a chance to bond with Mia as well.

Posted by: Kelly at September 18, 2005 4:03 PM

My mother in law takes the boys every other saturday for an overnight. It is sheer heaven.

In the beginning, I wouldn't let anyone so much as hold my baby. That all goes away. (But I still do nothing but talk about them while they're gone, of course!)

I once heard a wise woman say, "I don't care if you tell me you're dressing them up as Macaulay Culkin and taking them to Neverland, just as long as they're away from me". Most parents eventually can relate.

Posted by: shannon at September 18, 2005 4:21 PM

Congrats on your first post-baby date. They will get a bit easier as time goes on. Love the pic... you make such a great family. :)

Posted by: Laura at September 18, 2005 5:01 PM

That's why babies grow into teenagers- by the time they're ready to leave home, we're able to let them go.

As a parent of two teenagers and one 'tween', I can promise that you will come to a place and time in your lives with Mia when you are not at all in a hurry to go home after a quiet dinner out.

Posted by: lucy at September 18, 2005 5:22 PM

OMG! Way to go! I soooooo agree with it being difficult. Yesterday morning I left to play a softball game before Sierra was even up for the day - I cried the whole way to the park. Boy - it's going to be horrible when I finally find a job and go back to work next summer!

Posted by: Marie at September 18, 2005 5:38 PM

The first date night is always a little tough, but they do get easier. Especially when your children are verbal and mobile. I love the picture.

Posted by: Nicole at September 18, 2005 8:58 PM

The faeries have been known to hide the Starbucks when you really want one but don't necessarily NEED one...they're tricky like that. You probably drove by 26 of them but they were disguised as metaphysical shops or nail parlors. Indian food sounds yummy though! Apparently they were ok with that. ;-)

Posted by: Amy at September 18, 2005 10:03 PM

It's nice to remember when they were tiny and sweet like that!

Posted by: Theresa at September 18, 2005 10:04 PM

I love the picture and the hair! I would have a hard time too, leaving that precious thing for a few hours. I enjoy reading your experiences with Mia. In a way, I feel like it's prepping me for motherhood, whenever that will happen. :)

Posted by: Colleen at September 18, 2005 10:47 PM

that's funny. i spent the day down at my friends, the moons, my sole purpose in going down there to remove the babies from the house so their mom could take a long, uninterrupted bubble bath. of course, i had their dad with me. we couldn't stay out long, because simone is only 4 weeks old and breast feeding.

we ended up driving them around in the van as they both slept, and brining home a bucket of chicken when it was time for simone to eat again. the chicken was not for simone, she's not feeding on that kind of breast.

Posted by: jodi at September 19, 2005 3:58 AM

I she getting cuter by the day? It seems so!

I think it's important to remind yourself that you're not only a parent but also part of a couple. But I can only imagine what it's like to leave your child behind, even if it's only for a night. I guess you tell yourself "The couple- thing? Can wait for another year! Let's just stay home and watch our sweet little baby!" ;)

Posted by: nina at September 19, 2005 5:45 AM

A photo that's too cute for words.

Posted by: Kevin at September 19, 2005 9:00 AM

Oh mah gawd! You and Mia's matching hairdos are cracking me up. That's so cute!

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 19, 2005 9:06 AM

I'm not sure why but the fact that you and your daughter have the same hairstyle makes me happy. :)

Posted by: zeno at September 19, 2005 9:32 AM

Congratulations on the night out. I bet the grandparentals were thrilled to maul your baby without scrutiny. ;)

Isn't it amazing how much you have to pack for one small kid for one evening? I've had weekend getaways with smaller luggage.

Posted by: Jenny at September 19, 2005 1:00 PM

Glad to hear you guys had a good time! I can't wait for those days, but I can't imagine leaving my little one for a few hours either.

Posted by: catbird at September 19, 2005 5:42 PM

First I love that you have a category called dadhood and then I love this picture. Very daddy sexy/cute!

Posted by: C at September 20, 2005 11:53 AM

I love Mia's little spikey hair, you're going to have a heartbreaker on your hands... she's just too adorable. ;)

Posted by: Carla at September 20, 2005 12:14 PM

Ahhhhh... look at all that hair! SOOO cute! :)

Posted by: Jaime at September 20, 2005 2:43 PM

love her hair dad!!

Posted by: bellacara at September 21, 2005 2:17 AM

Mr. Cactus...make it a point to ALWAYS schedule dates with your wife...or time will erode things you don't want it too!

It is healthy to have time alone with the woman you love...please this is the best advice anyone can give you. Don't forget you are in love with Mrs. Fish...your daughter will love you for it as well! It keeps everything in balance!

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