October 12, 2005

The Meet Market

Wow. Look at you with your rants and startling admissions! I'm impressed...and not at all frightened, which is a definite plus. I was afraid I'd get some anonymous comment like "I have three human heads in my freezer" or "I'm a man but I think I look really sexy in my cheerleading outfit." And frankly, there are certain things I don't need to know.

On a completely different subject (not that your posts yesterday weren't fascinating - so if there are any more, please feel free to post them), have you seen my calendar for the day?

That's four long and relatively unpleasant meetings. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the day. And the 20 ounce cup of coffee sitting on my desk certainly isn't going to be enough to make the difference between lazy, tired drone and overachieving professional business guy.

Oh well. Wish me luck. Have a great Wednesday. Happy humping.

Posted by Chris at October 12, 2005 8:19 AM

if it makes you feel better, i have an 8:30am meeting EVERY day where my director, manager and supervisor all come together to meet with my team in an effort to make micromanagement an olympic sport.

Posted by: steph at October 12, 2005 8:37 AM

Wow! My mom calls Dad an Asshat to besides Assback since Dad has a big butt!

I didn't know today was hump day, but my girlfriends Sally's Great Dane Roxy knew because Roxy humped my side until my friend Old Lady Bags pulled him off me, so then I ran for my life. When I looked back I saw Roxy humping Old Lady Bags, and I wanted to help her but she said she was ok, so I threw up, twice! I wonder why Sally didn't take Roxy to the states?

Anyways, I hope you have a nice day Chris, and if you feel like your brain is gona explode, eat a Suzi-Q so it wont, just your stomache.

Gota get off my dads work computer before he sits on me again like he did yesterday while I was sitting on our couch, with his Assback!

Posted by: Rockchild at October 12, 2005 8:52 AM

Wow. Good luck, man. I think you're gonna need it.

Posted by: Fraulein N at October 12, 2005 8:55 AM

ugh. i hate days full of worthless meetings - but at least you're not having a day full of worthless meetings after being up half the night working on an ethics submission for your thesis. school and work - why did i think this was a good idea?!?!?! ;) (unless of course, you were up half the night with a screaming baby - cuz then, then you would trump me.)

Posted by: suze at October 12, 2005 9:00 AM

Good luck... I've only got one meeting today, but it will be its own little slice o' hell.

Posted by: amber at October 12, 2005 9:11 AM

Yick. Though, I'm glad to see you're getting the most out of Outlook...

Posted by: ~L. at October 12, 2005 9:26 AM

Have fun! Stay awake! Don't open your mouth, except to yawn, eat and drink! Say...what is the retail value of a testicle?

Posted by: Theresa at October 12, 2005 9:28 AM

Happy Wednesday, and we are too tired to hump.

Posted by: JuJuBee at October 12, 2005 9:33 AM

I think the majority of us got all of our humping out yesterday in the "Startling Admissions". Those were great! Good luck with the meetings. Hope the coffee works..if you get caught dozing up, just tell them you were brainstorming a new concept for another meeting!!

Posted by: Michelle at October 12, 2005 9:48 AM

thankfully my calendar looks nothing like yours...but I'll send plenty of positive vibes your way that it all is over quickly :)

Posted by: christina at October 12, 2005 9:56 AM

And how is the testicle market these days?

Here's a little meeting trick to make it appear you look completely engaged in the discussion... Just keeping saying (over and over) in your mind:

Blah, blah, blah, PENIS, blah, blah, blah, VAGINA, blah, blah, blah, PENIS, blah, blah, blah, VAGINA...

You get the picture.

It totally works.

Posted by: Pammer at October 12, 2005 9:57 AM

And a good hump right backatcha!

Posted by: That Girl at October 12, 2005 10:34 AM

You're freaking hysterical.

Happy Hump Day!

And have fun with getting in and out of DC and parking, because that's always pleasent...ooh speaking of which I owe the DMV about $400, yeah.

Posted by: Heather B. at October 12, 2005 10:42 AM

I hope you have a secure password on your calendar.

Posted by: Sheryl at October 12, 2005 11:18 AM

Today's my first day back at work. If I decide to go to work. I'm already 1 hour and 21 minutes late. Yet I'm reading blogs. I have my priorities straight.

So tomorrow's technically my "hump day". I actually do have to go to work given I have to attend a boring-hour-long-lunch-to-celebrate-the-coworker-going-on-maternity-leave and ooh and ahh and fake laugh about how wonderful her life is going to be while she's off for a year being subsidized by my tax dollars to raise her child.

Posted by: Grace at October 12, 2005 11:22 AM

Just ha. I know my husband would appreciate the calendar entries.

Posted by: A.K. at October 12, 2005 11:45 AM

Good luck! I will also be in the 9th Circle of Hell today. Maybe I'll see you there. Thank god I am taking Thursday & Friday off this week. Otherwise, I don't think I could make it all the way through this week without an "incident". Said incident comprised of calling my boss an asshat and telling him to shut the fuck up. Oy vey! I need a vacation!

Hope your day is better than you think! We're all pulling for you! =)

Posted by: Ms. Q at October 12, 2005 11:48 AM

I'm going to start describing my meetings like this on my calendar. It would make the days so much more worthwhile.

Posted by: trb at October 12, 2005 11:51 AM

Doodling totally beats trying to remember theme songs any day. Also, it makes you look uber smart and involved. Not that I ever doodle. Ever.

Also, since the left testicle will be used to pay for parking, perhaps the right one can pay for an internvenous coffee drip?

Posted by: wavybrains at October 12, 2005 11:55 AM

Seeing how cute Mia is, perhaps you are undervaluing said teste?
Happy Hump Day!

Posted by: Jaycie at October 12, 2005 12:00 PM

I'm going to start using descriptions like that on MY calendar. Except I never have meetings to attend. Or hands to shake. But I do have to deal with grad students, so you know. It's p/m the same thing.

Posted by: Rhonda at October 12, 2005 12:29 PM

if you ask me, hell is using Outlook as your calendar. my company just switched over to this method and it's driving everyone BATTY.

Posted by: jodi at October 12, 2005 12:41 PM

have I told you how much I love your management and oultook organisational skills.

Serious dude- you should be a trainer on this stuff :)

Posted by: stinkerbell at October 12, 2005 1:06 PM

wow...your day is almost identical to my day. except i have 3 mtgs, one of them being of the loved and cherished 3 HOUR variety. F off Business Cross-Function Capacity Planning and Technology Review!!!!!

Posted by: melati at October 12, 2005 2:13 PM

Well, at least you didn't ask your boss for next Friday off because that's the only day you could schedule the movers, pointing out the fact that in the year since your hire date you've only taken 3 PTO days, only to receive an email questioning your competance, trustworthiness, loyalty to the organization, willingness to help out the team, and intention to even show up for work during the week of the 24th.

Posted by: Jason at October 12, 2005 2:40 PM

Heh. I like your descriptions. None of your co-workers happen to pass by when those notifications pop up, do they? :)

Posted by: Kitty at October 12, 2005 3:08 PM

What is the retail value of that testicle, and is it remarkably different than the value of the other? See, I've got two testicles here, ready for market, and I'm willing to sell one of them. I think we'll need the other. Anyway, I'm just asking.

Posted by: bhd at October 12, 2005 3:52 PM

I didn't see ANYTHING on that calendar about humping...

Posted by: Stacy at October 12, 2005 5:06 PM

Wow, I didn't know you could park anywhere in DC for a quarter! ;-)

Posted by: Casey at October 12, 2005 6:26 PM

I'll take Internal Staff Meetings for $500 Alex.

The person that sings the Gilligan Island theme song in his head, whilst pretending to actually pay attention during important company meetings?

Ding, Ding, Ding.

who is Chris?

Posted by: Michele at October 12, 2005 7:04 PM

Then there was our MANdatory SEXual harASS-MENt training for MANagers that lasted for two hours this afternoon.

I got a lot out of it.

No, really. I did.


Posted by: Michelle at October 12, 2005 8:22 PM

Ahhh meeting hell! You're paying for something in a past life, or maybe in a past decade. Do not worry, it will be over soon. Then there won't be any more meetings until next week :-)

Posted by: Amy at October 12, 2005 11:29 PM

sorry for the bad language here but your calendar is fucking hilarious

i think my calendar will look like that tomorrow

except that a few privileged people have access to my calendar

oh well

Posted by: bellacara at October 12, 2005 11:35 PM

Nothing wastes time like a pointless meeting that can't stay on schedule or topic.

Posted by: ken at October 13, 2005 9:54 AM

I am reading this late - your calendar entry was Fun-ee! Probably a lot funnier than your meetings - eh?

Posted by: Sue at October 16, 2005 6:20 PM