November 3, 2005

Rants, Raves and Comments

Wow. I'm impressed with you guys. I ask you to rant and rave and you did. You totally made that whole experiment not suck. Great job!

I've read through each and every single comment and I was kinda surprised that some of you are reluctant to comment sometimes. For the record, I don't view commenting as a competition, a battle of wits or a popularity contest. No single comment is any better than another. The last comment is no less valuable than the first. Feel comfortable saying whatever it is you feel. That's all I'm asking.

During the whole ranting frenzy, I avoided posting a personal rant or admission. You'll eventally get hip to that so I might as well do it.

The Rant: Microsoft Fucking Word. May the fires of hell consume the designers and their damned Visual Basic code in a conflagration of epic proportions. Especially the bastards who were responsible for all the formatting and stylistic crap that doesn't work. I spent, oh, about five hours with a 15 page document in a sad and frustrating attempt to get it to look halfway decent. I ended up winning but not before I'd taught the rest of the office some new, descriptive terminology. I curse you all, Microsoft designers. I curse you all!

The Other Rant: Some bastard slipped a commercial for yesterday's Discovery channel programming on the radio this morning. I was sitting there in traffic and I heard all about what was going to be on tonight. Wednesday. I realized it was a mistake after a couple seconds but damnit if that didn't scare the hell out of me for a minute.

The Admission: I'm a total dork. Specifically, I'm a total music dork. I have a savant-like talent that I'm sure I've admitted here before - I can do the whole "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" thing with just about any two bands. Don't think there's a relationship between heavy metal icons Iron Maiden and top-40 hit generating machine Genesis? Think again:

Iron Maiden recruited guitarist Janick Gers when Adrian Smith departed. Janick did the guitar work on former Marillion vocalist Fish's debut album. Fish, in turn, performed vocals on two albums by Genesis keyboardist Tony Banks and was considered a front-runner for the lead vocalist position when Phil Collins left.

Or how about hair metal's Whitesnake and their twisted linkage to John Mayer:

Whitesnake (and former Deep Purple) lead singer David Coverdale recorded the Coverdale/Page album with Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page who, earlier, recorded two albums with former Bad Company vocalist Paul Rodgers under the name The Firm. Bad Company bassist Boz Burrell was a founding member King Crimson, replaced, eventually, by Tony Levin. Levin performed in Peter Gabriel's backing band (and, in fact, has performed on every one of Gabriel's releases) with Jerry Marotta who played drums on Mayer's first major label release, Room for Squares.

Anyway, there's my lame admission. Not so much an admission, but a quirk, rather. I'm nothing if not quirky.

Posted by Chris at November 3, 2005 7:42 AM

I'll take "Rain Man" for $800, Alex...

Posted by: Marilyn at November 3, 2005 8:09 AM

i missed yesterday's fest... boo hoo. have you ever thought of doing the music connection thing for money? like at carnivals and such? i mean you could do Testament to Bauhaus (who i'm going to see later this month i'm so psyched) for dollars!

Posted by: monique at November 3, 2005 8:18 AM

Definitely... You are a dork, definitely... And I say that with love... Definitely.

Posted by: Cher at November 3, 2005 8:30 AM

So, do you think 'Vista' is going to be life-changing? Husband keeps telling me about it.

Also, when are you going to start podcasting your excellent music knowledge to the masses? I, for one, would be all over it. You could tell us some facts, play some music, and it would rock.

Posted by: samantha at November 3, 2005 8:33 AM

And here I thought I was the only one who could play that 6 Degrees of Music game...
On one of the XM Radio stations I listen to frequently, they have a show called "6 Degrees of Fred" (Fred is the station name). I can usually tell you exactly how the breakdown is going to go when I hear the beginning and end points.

Posted by: amber at November 3, 2005 8:47 AM

quirky just happens to be sexy!

Posted by: VirgoJen at November 3, 2005 8:51 AM

Your ability is scary, but in a very cool way.

Posted by: Fraulein N at November 3, 2005 8:57 AM

Wait. If I can't win the commenting game and be the bestest commenter ever then what's the freaking point? [stomps off in a huff]

Posted by: pea at November 3, 2005 8:58 AM

So we can start calling you Lane (from Gilmore Girls). At least you're a cute dork!

Posted by: That Girl at November 3, 2005 9:02 AM

But you're a nice dork...quirky, but that's what makes you so you!

Posted by: Theresa at November 3, 2005 9:25 AM

it's good to be dork. they are the most fun.

Posted by: jodi at November 3, 2005 9:51 AM

One of my oldest cousins recently informed me that a dork is a whale's penis. You sure you want to own that one?! Then again, that's being defined by a 9 year old.... still, I find it quite funny *grin*

Posted by: Corinne at November 3, 2005 10:16 AM

See, that's what's so great about your site - I can rant and rave, and then learn things about musicians that I never knew. And then turn around and spout them off to my own guitar playing husband and impress him. Thanks Chris!

Posted by: Kitty at November 3, 2005 10:22 AM

I hate that whole Word autoformatting stuff. Stop assuming you know how I want my document to look!

And I'm very impressed by your six degrees of music knowledge. It's not dorky. Of course, I'm married to a man with similar abilities, so I have to think that sort of thing is cool.

Posted by: bad penguin at November 3, 2005 10:23 AM

Dude. That is six degrees of scary. Very impressive.

Posted by: Pammer at November 3, 2005 10:58 AM

Wow. You ARE a savant. I wonder what quirks Mia will inherit from her mom and dad?

(For many months when I was reading you, I never would comment because I was on my hubby's computer when I would visit and he'd need it for work stuff RIGHT THAT VERY INSTANT.) But now things have changed and my "dinosaur" is back in working order...

Posted by: Lisa B at November 3, 2005 11:10 AM

Alabama and Billy Idol?

Posted by: HR Mommy at November 3, 2005 11:30 AM

I just wanted to say hi! So there. ;-)

Posted by: JaG at November 3, 2005 11:38 AM

Combine the Word formatting, with Company templates and a document management system that waits until you've been typing for 10 minutes to launch. There's some creative cursing!!!

Posted by: Sue at November 3, 2005 11:45 AM

You mystify me- the uber-dorkiness is just so endearing, though!

PS- For rant #1, I have one word for you: PageMaker.

Posted by: Kristi at November 3, 2005 12:03 PM

I just wrote a huge rant about an issue that has annoyed me for years about Microsoft Word, then before I clicked Publish I thought "maybe I should make sure I am right about this first." I wasn't, so nevermind. But I did want to say thanks for inadvertantly getting me to solve that annoying little problem.

Posted by: Mayberry at November 3, 2005 12:14 PM

Hey there,

Sorry that your message bounces back when you try to e-mail me. That is so wierd. I don't know how to fix it... Here's an e-mail though... . If that doesn't work, I can send you my other one...

Posted by: Lisa B at November 3, 2005 12:17 PM

I am amazed by your musical knowledge. I thought I had a bunch of useless information rattling around in my brain, but I bow down to the master.

Posted by: donna at November 3, 2005 12:18 PM

I hate using microsoft anything. All kinds of shiny buttons and objects that basically mean crap when you're in a pinch and have to have something reliable and fast.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at November 3, 2005 12:19 PM

I'm definitely impressed with your über-dork musical knowledge. Yep. You've got me beat on the music thing.

Posted by: Alison at November 3, 2005 12:34 PM

I'm quirky too (that IS code for "crazy", right?).

Posted by: Queen of Ass at November 3, 2005 12:35 PM

Connect: Dave Matthews Band (not DM himself) to Corey Hart

Connect: Sum 41 to.....Megadeath

Connect: The Rolling Stones to David Gray.

And comments aren't supposed to be witty or charming? Dammit. I didn't get that memo.

Posted by: Grace at November 3, 2005 12:54 PM

Or you could bring the music and movie worlds together. Six Degrees of Separation: Kevin Bacon and The Village People.

The Village People did, in fact, make a movie: "Can't Stop The Music" (don't ask how I know this). They starred in the film, along with Bruce Jenner(!) and Valerie Perrine. Ms. Perrine starred with Gene Hackman and Ned Beatty in "Superman". Hackman was in "The Mexican" with Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts was in "Flatliners" with...Kevin Bacon. In five. BOOYAH.

Posted by: Jason at November 3, 2005 1:31 PM

chris, you are scaring me. i'm shivering in awe at your musical dorkiness/savantness.

i didn't comment about my rants and admissions because i nothing to contribute rant-wise.

i have lots of admissions, but they are secret and private to me.

oh okay, just one:
even though i have normal levels of self-esteem, am decent-looking, am reasonably successful, make a good living, and have an uber-healthy 7 yr marriage... sometimes I wish I was hot. Like smoking bod' porno hot.

Posted by: melati at November 3, 2005 1:37 PM

I have to confess..I don't like to leave rants or raves or reveal anything oddly personal on the comments. I should get over myself though. Next time, I'll play. I promise

Posted by: Jessica at November 3, 2005 1:46 PM

That's so cool that you know all that random stuff! I always end up laughing at the way my head connects stuff in totally random ways; I jump all over conversations and confuse the living daylights out of whatever poor soul is trying to listen to me.

Posted by: Heather at November 3, 2005 2:22 PM

I hear you on the Word rant. Try spending every freaking minute of your work day using Word to create 300- to 500-page technical manuals and you'll understand the nightmare I'm living. And I've been using Word for years, so I understand every problem and know every workaround, but I still struggle with it. For example, why in the hell can't they fix the numbering problems? Everybody uses numbering. But no, the developers would rather change things that don't need changing and add neat new features nobody cares about rather than fixing the shit that we use every single day.

Posted by: Carolyn at November 3, 2005 2:27 PM

The Rant. Alan worked for MSFT for 6 years, and everything and a lot of what's in our house was bought with msft stocks. So I love them. He works for the other big wig in computer world, now--so you're safe.

The admission part--yes my Eeyore wearing friend you're a music dork. I know what too much about food --so I totally understand.

Posted by: Michele at November 3, 2005 3:08 PM

Too many big words, haha.

Posted by: Amber at November 3, 2005 6:10 PM

And The Savant Acadamy award goes to "CHRIS", Considered the "Real Rainman" of Music and Music facts! Yeah!!!!! So Chris- please fill us in- where did you obtain this useful skill? We all are dying to know??

Posted by: Jennifer at November 3, 2005 7:59 PM

OK, here's one -- Violent Femmes and ABBA. Of course, not being a music geek myself, you could probably just give a random string of names, and I wouldn't know the different... Or did I just reveal your secret?? HA!

Posted by: Jen at November 3, 2005 8:11 PM

Sorry, couldn't de-lurk/rant! I was in SLC. My rant...along the same lines as yours...would be, infrastructure/.net/sas/sql /(insert development technology here) teams that can't get their shite done on time!

Posted by: ::c:: at November 3, 2005 11:18 PM

Quirky, yes, but also very impressive.

Posted by: Zandria at November 4, 2005 1:06 AM

I can kind of do SOMETHING like that with TV/movies. I can see someone in a movie and say, "Oh, they were on an episode of ____ once" even if it was 10 years ago and they don't even LOOK the same anymore, I can still tell. I don't know what you'd call that, but it impresses people!

Posted by: Stephanie at November 4, 2005 8:11 AM

OMG...I actually remember that movie "Can't Stop The Music"...hey, I think that Chris should most definately market a "Six Degrees of Music" game! And he should even more definately call that game "Can't Stop The Music"!

Posted by: chattygirl at November 5, 2005 5:32 PM