November 16, 2005

Search String Madness!!

It's Hump Day and I've got a sum total of precisely nothing up my sleeve this morning. And a pile of paper sitting on my desk I have to go through. So, I'll play the search string card once again. Without further, or actually any, ado, here are some of the latest search strings from he site.

Wearing black dress socks with sandals. As with the rest of the world, it appears that people on the Internetwebosphere have no fashion sense. And are sick!

Jeff Probst penis. "Wow, I wanted the immunity idol but never pictured it going down like this."

Scary dead bodies. As opposed to all those happy, joyful dead bodies?

Boy Wonder I love you. "And I love you too, Caped Crusader." Let the superhero lovin' begin.

White elephant or dirty Santa. It's that time of year again. Time for holiday themed sex acts.

Does Suzanne Somers care about her fans or is she just interested in making money? Well, all that plastic surgery costs a lot.

I went to a sorority party. Bully for you!

Ambidextrous double jointed illness. You can write with both hands? You sick fuck!

Funny mimes. That's an oxymoron, right?

Stylish fannie packs. See funny mimes.

Damn you fucking cat. An outtake from the little know Charleton Heston flick, Planet of The Cats.

Smell Bob Barker's socks. Look, I don't want to tell people how to live their lives but I think a good game of Hole In One or Plinko would be more rewarding. And a hell of a lot less disgusting.

Robert Plant pantless. Talk about your led zeppelin...

Scientology commemorative coin. "Okay, you call it. If it's Tom, the shirts have possession first. Katie, and the skins get the ball."

Gun turds. Also referred to as bullets.

What to do with your dead hooker. I think you've done enough. Check your warranty and return at the place of purchase.

Bow chicken bow bow songs. Ahhh, the favored style of music for the ever-popular chicken on dog porn.

Posted by Chris at November 16, 2005 7:40 AM

Isn't it hard to believe that it is Thanksgiving already? I know what you mean about a long day at work and having nothing to write about... at least crazy searchs provide it for you.

Posted by: goodsnake at November 16, 2005 8:02 AM

you make me wanna delete my robots.txt file from the server. i don't allow any of my sites save the main one to be indexed, but whenever you post the search strings, i get such a giggle out of them that i want strings of my own.

Happy Wednesday!

Posted by: pea at November 16, 2005 8:14 AM

I almost wrote a similar post, 'cause I had some doozies in my search strings!


Posted by: Alison at November 16, 2005 8:17 AM

I'm wearing black socks and brown clogs...does that mean I have horrible fashion sense as well? I really don't put a whole lot of thought into coordinating socks and no one sees my feet, they're always under my desk!!

Posted by: Michelle at November 16, 2005 8:29 AM

"And I love you too, Caped Crusader." Hee! Batman HoYay jokes never get old.

Posted by: Fraulein N at November 16, 2005 9:02 AM

I'd much rather take Plinko or the Showcase Showdown or (gasp) spinning the wheel (on my top 10 list of things to do before I die) than smell Bob Barker's socks. I wouldn't want to be that close to that pervert, anyhow!

Posted by: Kristi at November 16, 2005 9:28 AM

I'd be careful about writing "penis" and "going down" on the same line. I had to re-read that one!!! LOL

Posted by: ::c:: at November 16, 2005 11:19 AM

i have such boring search strings. the popular one has been "the black keys" and they're from people looking for images/graphics to use as their myspace backgrounds. grr!

Posted by: Denise at November 16, 2005 11:39 AM

Stylish fannie packs? Man, do these people know you!!!

Posted by: Julie at November 16, 2005 11:52 AM

If I do a search for "spewing coffee out of my nose onto my computer screen", will Rude Cactus come up? Because that is usually what happens when I read your blog.

You so funny. Actually, humanity is pretty funny but, somehow, I don't think they mean to be!

Posted by: anita at November 16, 2005 11:54 AM

As always, I am amazed. The dead hooker response was awesome. LOL

Posted by: Theresa at November 16, 2005 12:11 PM

i have very strict rules about what kind of socks can be worn with what kind of shoes. maybe i should document these rules, then people googling for guidance will get the help they need. not that you didn't just answer that particular question appropriately.

Posted by: jodi at November 16, 2005 12:14 PM

Thats so funny.

Posted by: Bethany at November 16, 2005 12:20 PM

LOL!! These always crack me up.

Posted by: ava at November 16, 2005 12:21 PM

The last one made me snicker. A lot. That is hilarious.

Posted by: Rhonda at November 16, 2005 12:23 PM

The first one I've seen, Black dress with sandals. It's worse when it's a guy!! One dude I used to call Birkenstock man.

Posted by: mrsmogul at November 16, 2005 12:48 PM

Can you believe someone found my site by searching, "jedi rape"? How rude!!!

Posted by: Grace at November 16, 2005 12:51 PM

I can write with both hands as well...does that make meeeee I sick fuck as well? I hope. :)

Posted by: VirgoJen at November 16, 2005 1:11 PM

Your readers are some sick fucks.

....oh. Wait.

Posted by: Queen of Ass at November 16, 2005 2:50 PM

Hehe. QoA raises a very valid point. Also, porn music. Haha. I make fake porn music noises far too often.

Posted by: Heather at November 16, 2005 3:04 PM

Now that is funny!

Posted by: Magnolia Mom at November 16, 2005 3:25 PM

okay...laughing my ass off. there are some seriously sick, sick people out there.

Posted by: ali at November 16, 2005 5:05 PM

I'm gonna need a minute on the Jeff Probst penis one... whew.

Posted by: Pammer at November 16, 2005 6:17 PM

always entertaining! :hug:


Posted by: melanie at November 16, 2005 7:48 PM

If they were going to make a porno starring Jeff Probst would he be renamed Jeff Probe?

Posted by: dragonlady474 at November 16, 2005 8:07 PM

Hilarious as always! :):)

Posted by: Kelly at November 16, 2005 9:26 PM

hee hee...I especially like
"Funny mimes. That's an oxymoron, right?

Stylish fannie packs. See funny mimes."

And Gun Turds = bullets


Posted by: carrster at November 16, 2005 11:28 PM

ohmigod... can't stop laughing... that last one... killed me!

Posted by: misifoota at November 17, 2005 8:38 AM

I just about died over your super heros comment...
I am on the brink man... on the brink!

Posted by: stinkerbell at November 17, 2005 9:57 AM

Hat tip to you. Thanks for the idea. lgp

Posted by: lyn at November 17, 2005 6:30 PM