November 8, 2005

Vote Early, Vote Often

Here in Virginia - not to mention, oh, everywhere else - it's voting day! Time to get out and do our civic responsibility. Of course, we don't have the opportunity to unseat the President...and the ballot will list lots of people you've never heard of…but it's still important...uh...really. Why? It'll get these pathetic bastards off my TV set for another couple of years.

The Virginia governor's race has been really, unnecessarily nasty this year. Both candidates have hit way below the other's belt and made themselves look like complete asshats in the process. Which is actually a pretty good thing because otherwise, they’re both so non-descript and unimpressive, we wouldn't have any way of differentiating them from the mainstream population.

First there was the republican ad that features a widow arguing, in tears, for the death penalty - something the democratic candidate doesn't support. Then there was the required democratic candidate's response and shots of him working as a Christian missionary. Attack ads surfaced from both parties about the piss-poor qualities of the other - too liberal, too conservative, hates education, doesn't want to widen roads, blows goats in his spare time, traffics underage sex slaves, performs satanic rituals in the nude while feasting on the still-beating heart of an American bald eagle. Okay, so, maybe I made a few of those up. But you get the point.

What I think we all need is a no-confidence buzzer. Like, the little buzzers they click to answer questions on Jeopardy? We can figure out ways to deliver porn to a cell phone. We should be able to figure this one out. Anyway, at any given time, when we've just had enough of our so-called leaders or those vying for our votes, we could just push the buzzer. I don't know what happens after that. Maybe if they reach some pre-determined threshold of no-confidence votes, they're thrown to hungry alligators. Maybe the buzzers are wired to the politicians themselves and whenever there's enough of a consensus that they've done something stupid, they get a nice shock. But there has to be an alternative for a two-party system in which politicians are so insulated from the thoughts and feelings of the people they represent.

Posted by Chris at November 8, 2005 7:10 AM

As a fellow Virginian, I agree that they ARE both total asshats! I don't want to vote for either one of them. The attorney general race has been pretty dirty, too. Politicians, bleh.

Posted by: mooalex at November 8, 2005 7:53 AM

I like the shock idea. You know, kinda like that invisible fencing setup for dogs. That would be nice.

Happy voting day!

Posted by: VirgoJen at November 8, 2005 8:04 AM

Ive come to depise my two potential governers (NJ) FOR their ads themselves - I say we go to politician death match, then at least the loser would have to stfu.

Posted by: That Girl at November 8, 2005 8:05 AM

We aren't having an election here. There are no races being contested.

It was thought that there would be a referendum on the condemnation and take-over of the local water company, but that didn't happen.

So, the schools are closed, but the bars are open today.


Posted by: Allan at November 8, 2005 8:07 AM

im with That Girl, politician death match is the only way to go. that way, the upcoming election would keep the politicians off our television sets and in the gym training.

Posted by: steph at November 8, 2005 8:26 AM

I am so glad it is Voting Day, just because I am tired of being bombarded by these darn politicians, on television, in the mail, and on the phone. It is just crazy! And you are absolutely right....the Virginia race has been nasty. I like the shock treatment idea!

Posted by: Nicole at November 8, 2005 8:42 AM

Politicians are like drug dealers only they're selling a different drug.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at November 8, 2005 8:58 AM

That girl is right about the NJ elections. I live in PA, but am unfortunate enough to hear the two candidates trash each other hourly. Did I say hourly? I think I meant several times hourly.

We're off to vote this afternoon.

Posted by: cassie-b at November 8, 2005 8:59 AM

It's been years since I've paid attention to the Virginia governor's race, but this is outrageous and I've been somewhat keeping up with it. This sounds like what's going on for the race for mayor here in the small town that I live in, not something that should be happening at the governor level.

Posted by: amber at November 8, 2005 9:34 AM

Good lord, makes me wanna see who these VA asshats are... Here in granola-crunchy CA, we've got Ahnold spending a gazillion taxpayer dollars to create a very rare 'special election' so he can propose some measures which appear to all be on their way down...much like his poll numbers...

Posted by: Marilyn at November 8, 2005 9:38 AM

I voted!! Yay!

Posted by: Sue at November 8, 2005 10:05 AM

I'm down with the shocking of politicians. We'll experiment on Bush first.

"But there has to be an alternative for a two-party system in which politicians are so insulated from the thoughts and feelings of the people they represent."

Are you saying you have problems with our "representative democracy"?

I stumbled upon a quote a while ago that has helped me in these situations: "When given two options, take the third."

As citizens, it's our responsibility to fix The System. In my town, though, talk like this gets you cold stares. And we're not voting today.

Posted by: Anne at November 8, 2005 10:43 AM

Here is 'dis great ole state of Texas we're scared of that there gay marriage so we is amendin' our constitution to say marriage is only between a man and his horse uh I mean woman.

on the upside - we are now voting electronically.

I guess that's what you call one step forward, two steps backs.

Posted by: wendy at November 8, 2005 10:46 AM

sadly there's not much to vote on here either. The big fights were in the city for mayor and council, and well, we don't live in the city anymore. :(

Posted by: Autumn at November 8, 2005 10:59 AM

I know I should comment on the voting and the democracy and all that, but all I can think of is - dude, I can get porn delivered to my cell phone? Really?

Posted by: SpaceCase at November 8, 2005 11:52 AM

I seem to remember at some point a push to have "none of the above" put on the ballot here in California. I always thought that would be kind of cool.

Posted by: Matthew at November 8, 2005 11:52 AM

The non vote, I love it!

Posted by: dragonlady474 at November 8, 2005 12:26 PM

You can get porn on a cell phone?

Posted by: Lisa B at November 8, 2005 1:25 PM

You can get porn on a cell phone?

Posted by: Lisa B at November 8, 2005 1:25 PM

You can get porn on a cell phone?

Posted by: Lisa B at November 8, 2005 1:26 PM

Sorry that ended up on the comment board three times. Something is wrong with my dinosaur, er, uh computer....

Posted by: Lisa B at November 8, 2005 1:33 PM

I live in NJ -- the other state that's electing a governor today -- and the ads have been awful. This one dumped his wife for a labor leader, that one had an affair with a staffer & former beauty queen, and back and forth, blah, blah, blah. I just change the channel or hit mute when the ads come on. It's like we're not even looking for a "decent" candidate, we're looking for the least sleazy candidate. And that just isn't easy to find. (This is particularly pathetic considering how low our standards are.)

Normally I vote first thing in the morning, but today I headed in to work without stopping off at the polls. I'm hoping I'll figure out who to vote for before 8pm tonight. I know who I'm NOT voting for, but I haven't decided yet if I should give my vote to the lesser of two evils.

Do you think refusing to vote on principle is a waste?

Posted by: erin at November 8, 2005 1:51 PM

My state has gone to all absentee balloting. I voted a couple days ago. So I get to sleep late today.

And I think the alternative is for people like us (well, not me, exactly, since I'd be unlikely to pass much background scrutiny) to step up.

People of my generation are of an age to begin stepping into power. Which excites and frightens me. I mean, will we enter an age where ganja is decriminalized, or just be led around by a bunch of closet stoners? I wonder. And yes, I will vote for the first candidate to say: I inhaled and I liked it!

Posted by: bhd at November 8, 2005 2:23 PM

There's a 25 year old running for city council in Houston who's a good guy. But it's WAAAY weird thinking he's a friend of my OldestStepDaughter.

I am officially freaked out.

Posted by: Pammer at November 8, 2005 3:21 PM i miss living in the day...

Posted by: ali at November 8, 2005 3:34 PM

you know...that reminds me

this morning on NPR Renee Montagne said that "voters in New Jersey and Virginia are electing a new governor today" which surprised me b/c, really, I kinda thought they EACH GOT THEIR OWN governor.

heh heh...I love to catch the media in grammatical errors.

Posted by: kalisah at November 8, 2005 5:21 PM

I hate it when the ads get ugly. I think it just makes both of them look like complete idiots. But, it is important to vote.

Posted by: Isabel at November 8, 2005 5:53 PM

Not goats- he blows llamas in his spare time. Get your facts straight. jeez.

Posted by: Lizzie at November 8, 2005 6:50 PM

I didn't hear about all the negative publicity between the two VA candidates until a few days ago, on a national news website (although, of course, it doesn't surprise me). It made sick -- I was glad I wasn't around to see it.

Although, in return, I have been subjected to endless "Proposition" this-and-that here in California for the past few months. I'm always so glad when election-time is over.

Posted by: Zandria at November 9, 2005 12:31 AM

Give me a buzzer now!!!! Kinda like those Taboo buzzers - my favourite reason for playing the game. (BTW, sorry for commenting late on this - I'm in China and I have jet lag, so I'm usually reading at 3am when I can't sleep.)

Posted by: Heather at November 9, 2005 9:11 AM