December 13, 2005

The Christmas A-Hole

When I got home from work yesterday - after a pretty busy one - Beth and Mia were waiting for me. The smile on Mia's face when I walked through the door was a mile wide. And she gigged. It was the cutest fucking thing ever (so cute, I apparently have to drop the f-bomb to describe it). Seriously, I thought I was going to lose my balance. My knees buckled as if Mia and gravity had joined forces to topple a weary dad. The combination was Rude Cactus Kryptonite. Of course that all ended once Beth took off to run an errand - Mia promptly threw up on me and decided I was uber-lame. But the smile thing sure was nice.

After I'd walked through the door, managed to avoid passing out from the cute smiliness, I noticed that my kind, loving wife had put the lights on the Christmas tree. This, my friends, is the best Christmas present ever. As I mentioned yesterday, I hate putting the lights on the tree. It makes me grumpy. "Now you don't have to be a Christmas asshole," said Beth, by way of an explanation.

The tree is up and decorated. My Christmas shopping is done. My daughter is incredibly cute and smiley and I don't have an excuse to be the Christmas Asshole. But I'm just not feeling it this year. Am I alone?

Posted by Chris at December 13, 2005 7:29 AM

I too have not been feeling the Christmas Spirit, even when I went to photograph the National Christmas Tree, I still did not get into the spirit. Maybe when I go home to see the family, I will feel the Holiday Spirit.

Posted by: goodsnake at December 13, 2005 7:33 AM

I did the whole tree thing last night..Woohooo, long story, tree trimming from hell. Flashers didn't work, had to get new ones, lights trung twice, tree stand broke, tree decorated, one strand out of three still flashing, other two are completely out. Hope your tree fairs better.

Posted by: Angelia at December 13, 2005 7:36 AM

I'm not really feeling the Christmas thing, either. We aren't getting a tree, Sophie won't know we don't have one and we won't be having any one over. And I might be allergic. And there's the needles all over the place. My mom overdoes the Christmas so we are going there instead.

Posted by: erika at December 13, 2005 7:43 AM

I feel like the biggest Grinch when it comes to the Christmas spirit. I attribute it to the combination of selling holiday cards all year at work and the fact that holidays aren't the same without grandparents and/or little kids in the house.

I bet that when Mia's a little older and Christmas is a big deal to her, things will look up this time of year for ya.

Posted by: Daria at December 13, 2005 7:43 AM

Putting up and decorating the tree makes me all shades of grumpy, but mostly because I can't enjoy the moment because I'm already thinking ahead to what a pain in the ass it is to take all the shit down.

The older I get, the harder it is to really enjoy Christmas. It just seems like a whole lot of ramp up to nothing. Of course, I'm a heathen who doesn't spend too much (read: any) time musing over what the day means so that could explain some of it. Eh. Bring on Festivus and the airing of grievances I say.

Posted by: patricia at December 13, 2005 8:27 AM

Ooh, do I get to be the Christmas Asshole instead? C'mon, you're not doing it this year!

Posted by: Fraulein N at December 13, 2005 8:57 AM

I kinda feel the same way..

you will get way into it next year, when the baby understands more about christmas and opening presents. Thats when all the fun really starts.. you are santa now so be jolly! hehe

Posted by: soniclibra at December 13, 2005 9:04 AM

Our Christmas has downsized over the years as well. I kinda like our set up now, which is pretty sweet, and easy. We have those little Christmas ceramic houses that we get out with some fluffy snow crap and lights underneath and we have a little fake tree that we put in the middle, so it's like our own minature x-mas town in our living room. Easy clean up. No needles, just chuck 'em back in the boxes when yer done. I think the Christmas spirit deminishes for me in November. People are so gung-ho in November for x-mas we can't even get to Thanksgiving first. That makes me uber-pissy about Christmas time. It's not till mid-December when I get back into the spirit. So to all you people out there who like to bust out the decorations in November, STOP!! Let's get thru Thanksgiving first, and remember THAT CHRISTMAS IS IN DECEMBER. Oh, and if you're going to have those stupid reindeer out there, SANTA HAS EIGHT REINDEER!! (9 if you count Rudolph) So if you're gonna have 'em out before x-mas HAVE THEM ALL OUT! NOT two, NOT four, EIGHT!! HE HAS EIGHT OF THEM!! Merry Christmas! ;P

Posted by: Michelle at December 13, 2005 9:22 AM

No matter how hard I try, I cannot get into the spirit. This will be the third year. *sigh*

Posted by: Theresa at December 13, 2005 9:33 AM

i'm with ya and it's really depressing for me because christmas time used to be my favorite of the year... all of the music and decorations and, um, cheer. (i think i made that last one up)

i've been stuck at school and college kids don't really decorate or blast the christmast tunes so maybe when i come home this weekend i'll have a week of spirit. hope yours comes back somehow too!

Posted by: kate at December 13, 2005 9:36 AM

Anymore Christmas just reminds me that tax season and 70 hour work weeks are just around the corner - grumble, grumble.

Posted by: Beth in StL at December 13, 2005 9:37 AM

although you'd never know it from the state of my blog, even i, the christmas queen am feeling a little meh about the whole thing this year. sure i've got a little tree at my desk, but our house has no tree, no decorations, no gifts wrapped yet even. you're not the only one.

Posted by: suze at December 13, 2005 9:37 AM

The first Christmas when Maggie was little (last year), it was hard for me to get into it too.

Don't understimate infant-induced exhaustion. It's a powerful thing.

Next year will be better. Mia will "get it" a little more and that makes things infinitely more fun.

Posted by: Meghan at December 13, 2005 9:45 AM

no baby, you're not alone.
my pastor told us Sunday that this is the most depressing time of the year for some people. He had told us Wednesday night that more people are despondant and down during the holidays than at any other time of year.
I thought, you know dude, if you keep telling me about it, you're gonna bring me down even further.

I'm not feeling any Christmas spirit this year. Don't know what the fug is up with that.
But you're baby was cute in those pics...almost improved my mood.

Posted by: speckledpup at December 13, 2005 9:48 AM

Total Scrooge-stein-berg-owitz over here. Total.

But, it helps to be able to watch The Swimmy get excited. A kid's glee is a breath of fresh air in a completely overrated season.

Posted by: Pammer at December 13, 2005 9:59 AM


just kidding, you are not alone. usually I'm there with you, but this year I'm jingling and jangling and hearing those sleigh bells ringaling, ting ting tingaling too.

I suggest going to London in November just in time to see all the christmas lights up at Harrods.

Posted by: melati at December 13, 2005 10:04 AM

Not feeling it at all. Haven't even begun to shop yet. Yikes.

Posted by: shannon at December 13, 2005 10:06 AM

Actually, I am more excited this year for Christmas than I can remember being for years. Why? Well...this year my 3 year old is singing Christmas songs like Santa Claus is coming to town and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. My 22 month is waving at every Santa she sees and saying in her sweet little voice "Hi, Santa!!!". We have made cookies and wrapped Christmas presents for nana and papa. We have went shopping and seen all the pretty christmas lights in our neighborhood. We have been reading Twas the Night before Christmas, and The Christmas Story every night since Thanksgiving. We have built a snow family, complete with a cat and a dog.

We usually are late getting home at night because we have to take a round about way to hit a few houses that have their Christmas lights on. Our tree is leaning a bit but it hasnt fallan over. Somehow one set of lights blinks but none of the others do. It looks strange, but I love it anyway. I have been unpacking toys for a week now in the basement while they sleep and have the cardboard paper cuts to prove it. My husband and I are not giving to each other this year so we can get our girls more.

This Christmas is going to the most memorable Christmas of my life and I hope to remember it as long as I live because my babies are only going to be 3 and 22 months once in their lives. I am not going to let the other little things that are annoying about Christmas or not quite perfect take away my joy with my girls.

Dont want to highjack your entry, but I am honestly filled with the spirit more than I can ever remember.

Posted by: linda at December 13, 2005 10:09 AM

im with ya. im just not feeling it. i didnt even get a tree this year. it just seems like the world has been falling apart more than usual this year, it makes it hard to be all christmas-like.

Posted by: steph at December 13, 2005 10:16 AM

i'm not feeling it either. i don't know if it just snuck up on me, or i'm just getting old and scrooge-like... but it's just not there. but you? at least you have christmas decorations, which effectively disguises your lack of christmas spirit. me? no decorations.

Posted by: misi at December 13, 2005 10:45 AM

Nope, not alone. I usually love this time of year (well, except for the parts that stress me out, but the joy usually outweighs the crap.) this year, though, the things that usually make me happy about Christmas (decorating the tree, making my cards) just feel like more things on my to-do list. Sometimes when your plate is full, everything on it seems like too much, even the good stuff.

Posted by: MamaKaren at December 13, 2005 10:49 AM

Don't worry about the Christmas spirit thing. I didn't decorate for three years and was way bah humbug. This year I suddenly HAD to decorate and I'm feeling the spirit again.

Posted by: Heather at December 13, 2005 10:50 AM

There's nothing quite like your daughter's heartstoppingly fabulous smile is there?
In a few months there will be an excited:"Daaaaadyy!!!" and little legs sprinting to the front door to see you.

My other half was the very same, x-mas and him did not mix. Untill we had our Little Miss.
There's something about seeing your kid's eyes light up at the sight of all the lights, coloured baubles and sparkly wrapping paper that will de-humbug anyone! Mia will perform the magic for you!

Posted by: Nynke at December 13, 2005 10:54 AM

This year, for the first time, I was all excited about getting a tree, and my husband decided to be the Christmas asshole and suggest we don't get one until we have kids. :/
I still decorated the house though. I'm loving Christmas this year.

Posted by: ava at December 13, 2005 11:20 AM

I put my tree up this weekend, along with the outside decorations. I'm not feeling this year either--I was wondering what was wrong with me?

I have a 7 year old so of course I have to make this memorable for him.

I think it's the stress of paying for my wedding next spring,taxes and not being with my family.

I love Beth's comment btw!

Posted by: Michele at December 13, 2005 11:24 AM

Read the first sentence of the third paragraph with a Scooby Doo voice. (I, too, gigged.)

(Sorry, I'm being a Blog Asshole!)

Posted by: mooalex at December 13, 2005 11:38 AM

It's Christmas? Are you sure? I am totally not feeling it. I have an empty nest though so I am pretty depressed about not having kids at home for Christmas. It really is all about the kids. Next year will be different for you, I bet.

In the meantime, I say Christmas Assholes of the World Unite! We're doing the best we can. Maybe if we embrace our non-spiritedness, it will counteract the effect and we will be full of joy for something. Maybe?

Posted by: Ms. Q at December 13, 2005 11:56 AM

Just wait til she's a toddler and she runs to the door when she sees your car pull up and she screams "DAD!DAD!" and she runs up to your leg, squeezes it and LAUGHS REALLY HARD while waiting for you to pick her up. It's awesome.

And dude, I am THE CHRISTMAS ASSHOLE MOTHER. You are not alone.

Posted by: Y at December 13, 2005 12:08 PM

Oh, c'mon! If a Buddhist can get into sooo much Christmas spirit, so can you!!

(Then again, my husband had a bad accident during Christmas times about 10 years ago, so December is his worst month. So I have to be extra cheery to keep both of us sane. Heh.)

BTW - I've circulated Mia's elf-tastic picture around the office as if she's my own. LOL. They all agreed, she's the 2005 cutest baby elf!

Posted by: Oakley at December 13, 2005 12:15 PM

I'm not feeling it either, so it's probably a good thing that I'll be spending it alone/volunteering. No need to smear Grinch all over everyone else.

Posted by: samantha at December 13, 2005 12:18 PM

I'm not feeling it either this year... at least not yet. We lack all decorations at our house. my mom's place is too small and all our stuff is in storage in hopes of moving soon, lol But it's looking more and more like we wont be moving till march ARG!! (it's been there since July in hopes of being moved..ugh!)

I hope I get into the mood for the holiday soon, lol.. i'll have to fake it on x-mas morning, lol

Posted by: Tammy at December 13, 2005 12:31 PM


You know I think Beth is a genius-- but that TOTALLY takes the cake-- "so you don't have to be a Christmas asshole!" Oh god, I am SO using that--

Posted by: Elizabeth at December 13, 2005 12:33 PM

all the people above me wrote so many words! anyway, it's not just you. i hate christmas. we're not christians, we're nothings so christmas boils down to spending money and wasting time. when it was just the two of us there were no issues - other than buying gifts for family members who celebrate (some even have a birthday cake and sing happy birthday to jesus on christmas day). now with the child... we have to do everything to the hilt, or feel that we do. i guess it's the feeling of obligation for the young'uns. i like doing things because i want to, not because i feel i have to... i've always felt i had to do christmas. guilt weighs heavy on the heart and mind this time of year.

anyway... put on a happy asshole hat and smile pretty for the cameras cuz it's christmastime. did that sound bitter, it wasn't supposed to sound bitter, defeated - yes. bitter - no.

Posted by: monique at December 13, 2005 12:34 PM

You know what's cool? My 3 yr old is really excited about Santa, and about the tree and seeing decorations and lights around the neighborhood, but he does not expect any presents. I don't think he's made the connection yet. That will probably change by next Xmas but for now it's nice.

Posted by: Pinky at December 13, 2005 12:58 PM

I figured I felt that way because I'm old. But you're young! What's up with that!?

Eh. I'll get into the spirit. It will involve a few bottles of champagne, a mix of all our Christmas music (everything from Vince Guaraldi to Dr. Demento) while doing the tree thing. I expect it will be tough. One of the last times we did this, I had to take the tree down alone - and in a hurry - to get ready for my mother's funeral repast.

Oh. Maybe that's why I'm not in the spirit, huh?

Posted by: bhd at December 13, 2005 1:06 PM

I am putting great effort into having spirit this year, because I haven't had much n years past. but i'm single, and live alone, and don't always, or often, put up a tree. so i don't have that to contend with. i have not purchased a single xmas present, tho. but i have purchased plenty of wrapping paper!

Posted by: jodi at December 13, 2005 1:59 PM

You're definitely not alone! (obviously). Same here but I'M TRYING!!!! Mia sounds adorable - just hold on to that and it'll get ya through. And your wife's pretty cool too. :-)

Posted by: carrster at December 13, 2005 2:17 PM

Maybe it's because, to you, Christmas came months ago with the birth of Mia so it's all anti-climatic?

When Mia's older the spirit will return when you see her face unwrapping presents.

Suck it up, princess and get in the holiday spirit. Donate to a foodbank and receive the accolades of those that work there to feel less guilty with how fortunate you are. It's what I do.

Posted by: Grace at December 13, 2005 2:30 PM

I'm doing my best to be all Christmas-like, but I have this weird melancholy feeling that seems to hang over me. But, I'm going through all the motions, decorating, baking, shopping in hopes that soon I'll fall victim to the spirit.

Posted by: A.K. at December 13, 2005 3:26 PM

Yesterday I visited a friend's blog who expressed her lack in the whole feeling festive this year and I commented that I, too, had been feeling anemic in the joy department. I don't know what it is but you are not alone. This Christmas is not one that I am feeling.

Posted by: Kate at December 13, 2005 4:01 PM

I'm not feeling it as much either.
I think part of it for me is the fact that our weather can't make up it's mind. We're usually pretty cold (and by pretty cold I mean at least in the low 50s) by now, but it keeps warming up.
I've been trying to listen to Christmas music to get in the spirit but it just doesn't feel like Christmastime yet.

Posted by: Kitty at December 13, 2005 4:11 PM

Christmas Asshole huh? LOL. Don't worry about not being in the spirit of things. You're busy with a new baby and you probably have a lot of catching up to do on the sleep end of things.

I hear that Mia will be seeing mall Santa soon. I hope you post pictures!

Posted by: Colleen at December 13, 2005 4:13 PM

I prefer "Christmas Bitch" myself.

My tree is not up and I haven't even started my shopping yet (well, I did buy some candles for My Kid's teachers this weekend) so I think I'm living up to it well actually.

Posted by: kalisah at December 13, 2005 4:18 PM

I'm glad to hear that your tree is recorated. ;o)

Posted by: Phillip at December 13, 2005 5:30 PM

This is frightening to me, that so many people not only don't feel it, but are feeling so negative about the whole thing. I don't mean to sound all old and priggy and shit but how many of us have taken the time to consider the real reason we're celebrating? Or if you're not "a believer", think about celebrating the love of friends and family or good fortune or good health or that your socks match. Don't get all caught up in the "buying crap because you feel obligated", that's so inane. Of course you're gonna feel lousy. Feeding the economy isn't gratifying, appreciating each other and letting people know that you do, is.

Posted by: JuJu's Mom at December 13, 2005 5:46 PM

I don't think you're alone. There's something like 6.5 billion people on this planet - there is bound to be at least ONE OTHER PERSON that is not feeling it this year. Actually, probably two, because I know I'm not "feeling it" - it has more to do with it being the first Christmas without my brother here to celebrate it with and the fact I just had gall bladder surgery; but hey, to each their own reason(s) right?

It made me teary regarding the smile Mia gave you, and the giggle, when you walked in the door. How precious!

I hope your mood starts to better itself for Christmas this year. Or if not, at least this year Mia is still too little to really "get it."

Anywho, take care!

Posted by: Amber at December 13, 2005 5:49 PM

I'm forcing the Christmas spirit this year so I don't focus on other things that are making me sad. Otherwise I'd be the Christmas Asshole.

Posted by: donna at December 13, 2005 5:54 PM

This has been the first year since my childhood that I've been in the spirit. But it is mainly because my kiddo is three and has started getting into Santa and is very, very excited. His smiles and enthusiasm is infectious.

I saw the comment you posted on my site. Wow. Your neighbors are worse? Oy! That is a very scarey, scarey thing. I hope this year for Christmas Santa kicks their ass and you get to watch, point and laugh.

Posted by: Lisa B at December 13, 2005 7:39 PM

You just wait until Mia's checking out the chimney to make sure there's a clear path for Santa to get down. Seriously? There are no more "not feeling it this year" type years.

Well, until they decide believing in Santa's for babies.

Posted by: Queen Of Ass at December 13, 2005 11:16 PM

Not so much. I thought it was just because work has been hell since late October and I haven't had time to enjoy the season. I really hate that - hopefully the spirit will kick me in the ass over the next few days!

Posted by: Stephanie at December 16, 2005 5:19 PM