January 13, 2006

Name Calling

Last night was not a good night for sleeping in the Cactus-Fish household. Until 10:30, anyway. Convincing Mia that bed was a good idea was kinda like reasoning with, oh I don't know, a mailbox. As it turns out, she slept through the night pretty well. I guess I might actually owe her the $20 I promised for sleeping after all.

Completely unrelated (at least, I think) - I have the feeling I'm driving my infant towards an early onset multiple personality disorder. You see, I have many names for her and I'm concerned that I'm somehow fucking her up at a very early age by using them.

Mia Bean
Mia Pet (muh muh muh Mia!)
The Bean
Beanie Baby
Zippy Bean
Squizzle The Zippy Bean
Der Beanerschnitzel von Squizzlestein

Sure, I realize I'm going to screw the kid up in all kids of other ways but this can't help, can it?

Oh...happy Friday the 13th...mwahhahahaha!

Posted by Chris at January 13, 2006 7:10 AM

Squizzle the Zippy Bean? :) Very creative, though you do have a point about multiple personality disorder. You never know, she might decide she likes one of those nicknames above her real name and end up going by Zippy throughout her years in school....

Posted by: Corinne at January 13, 2006 7:22 AM

Those are definitely very creative.....don't worry though, you won't give her a complex. My dad called me Scoober D Willigans when I was growing up and my mom called me Pee Wee Mee Wee. Don't know where the hell they got them from, I had others too, but I turned out ok. (for the most part!) haha

Posted by: Dana at January 13, 2006 7:30 AM

One of my nieces's early nicknames (Chump change... don't ask) morphed into all sorts of other wacky names that eventually prompted my brother-in-law to eliminate use of the name altogether (though he was the one who came up with it).

The last one -- while making her sound sort of like very serious German stuffed animal dressed as a doctor -- made me laugh! :)

Posted by: susannah at January 13, 2006 7:37 AM

ah yes, the joys of infant nick-names... Cameron still goes by cammer-doodle and once, at a store a little boy had to ask his mom if Cam's name was really Scooby-poo.

have a great friday the 13th and wish me luck (we're closing on our old house today!)

Posted by: monique at January 13, 2006 7:51 AM

I like that one.

Actually, I think Amelia is a beautiful name. Mia's a pretty name too.

(telecommuting today)

Posted by: cas at January 13, 2006 7:59 AM

Oh my - that kid is going to need years and years of Psychiatric help to undo the damage you've done. Good going Chris...

Posted by: Marie at January 13, 2006 8:10 AM

We do the same thing! Just a sample: Madeline Grace, Madeline, Maddie, Mads, Madakins, Madly, The Girl, Two Tooth, Her Highness, I could go on and on. We've yet to adopt a German name such as Mia's...very creative! Our cat has a billion names too.

Posted by: JuJuBee at January 13, 2006 8:17 AM

My favorite is Der Beanerschnitzel von Squizzlestein. Makes her sound really important, like she's the ruler of her crib! Eh, don't worry about screwing up your kid, it's all in the job called parenting. Actually, I think it's a requirement when you have a child. Just think though, she's too young to remember any of it ;) Either way, Happy Friday-the 13th!

Posted by: Michelle at January 13, 2006 8:20 AM

der beanerschnitzel von squizzlestein is my favourite. :)

don't worry, my dad had lots of silly/creative nicknames for me too when i was a kid. and i turned out fine. right?

....right? ;)

Posted by: suze at January 13, 2006 8:24 AM

I've thought the same thing with Elizabeth... there are far too many names that I call her, depending on either of our moods.

And, no, not that kind of name.... Sheesh, I'm not that bad of a mommy. :)

Posted by: amber at January 13, 2006 8:27 AM

The names are cute! I am sure she will be fine. Well as fine as a child of yours can be ;)

and Yay Friday the 13th.. Friday the 13th is lucky for me, (I was born on a friday 13th)

Posted by: Angelia at January 13, 2006 8:35 AM

I think she'll be fine, all of my brothers and sisters and I had various versions of our names. I think I got off lightly by not being called Spom, Snors or Weez.

Posted by: Katherine at January 13, 2006 8:45 AM

All of the dog training books say that you're not supposed to call your dog by nicknames because it confuses them. We have thrown that advice to the winds and he is: Oglethorpe, Ogie, Oglestink, Thorpe, Thorplestink, Thorpenstein, Ogenstein, Unter-der-tisch-hund, Troll, and various others as necessary. He comes to pretty much all of them and is fine.

And I'm sure Mia will figure it out at least as well as my dog did. :)

Posted by: ~L. at January 13, 2006 8:51 AM

I think lots of babies have multiple names. My favorite is Mia Pet (muh muh muh Mia, hee!).

Oh and I did not realize today was Friday the 13th. I'm still working off my 2005 calendar. (Jeez.) Happy Friday the 13th!

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 13, 2006 8:55 AM

I think we use my son's nicknames more than we use his real name. It was when I heard my husband calling him by the DOG's nickname that I took exception (I don't want my dog and my son anwering to poot 'n' toot).

Posted by: heels at January 13, 2006 8:59 AM

Heh, I love the last one :) I imagine it sounds best when you do it in a proper German accent, pronouncing it Skvizzelschtein.

Posted by: Zoe at January 13, 2006 9:03 AM

Yes, you're more creative in the baby nicknaming department than I. :) I call Ava sweetheart, pumpkin but the one that's seems to stick with me? Porkchop. I have no idea why. And yes, THAT nickname will totally fuck her up. "Squizzle's" fine, though.

Posted by: Kris at January 13, 2006 9:05 AM

VERY happy Friday the 13th, it's my Birthday! (And I was born on Friday the 13th - bwaa haa).

I confuse my cats with multiple nicknames, the best yet is "PencilNeckMcPooperDoo", for Zachary (aka Pumpkin), an orange MaineCoon who went through hilarious growth spurts.

Posted by: Betti at January 13, 2006 9:19 AM

as long as you don't put anything too embarrassing in there, you'll be fine.... my father's nickname for me MORTIFIED me for many years.

Posted by: jodi at January 13, 2006 9:27 AM

As a parent of two perfectly normal teenagers, I can tell you that if I can send my children off into the world with only a minor need for psychiatric help, then I have done my job well. I don't think she will need help because of names she was called from loving parents.
Love is love baby. Whether it is spoken with sign language, hugs or "pet names".
No worries mate.

Posted by: Jamie C at January 13, 2006 9:35 AM

If you can't screw your kids up, what's the point? ;)

Posted by: Allan at January 13, 2006 9:37 AM

We have way too many names for Sophie as well. Monkey Butt tends to get used the most after Mopher. But we are a name-making family. Our cats also have lots and lots of names.

Posted by: erika at January 13, 2006 9:43 AM

I feel your pain. My son's 11 months old and I don't think he knows his name because we call him so many different and totally unrelated names. Poor kid.

He will answer to Buddy, though.

Posted by: Chag at January 13, 2006 9:45 AM

Haven't you heard that little proverb about how a child who is loved has many names? I think it definitely applies to Mia.

Posted by: Laura GF at January 13, 2006 9:50 AM

we all do this.
we've nicknamed all our children, en utero and then multiplied those nicknames as they grew.
My youngest, his name is Jesse, I always call Jessica Danielle when I'm playing with him. I've called all my boys girl's names and my girl boy's names at various times...
It's not the name I would have named him if he were a girl...its just a thing we do.
So he's in this program at school in 1st grade and they have to tell their name before their recitation, he says "hi my name is Jesse 'Pup', but my mom calls me Jessica" you coulda heard a pin drop.... like omigod that poor boy.

I stopped immediately.
I now call him George, Mortimer Mouse, The Chunk, Shrek, Sloth, Barnicle Bill The Sailor...the list goes on....but no girl's names.....

Posted by: speckledpup at January 13, 2006 10:05 AM

I was Punky Poo. I'm not messed up - nahhh!

Posted by: Heather at January 13, 2006 10:14 AM

My kids have 100's of names as well. I even use them interchangeably. Hell, for Anya's first month or so of life her name was "Lily-I-Mean-Anya." So far it hasn't screwed them up too deeply.

BTW, is Mia a Cactus or a Fish?

Posted by: Elaine at January 13, 2006 10:33 AM

As a child a million people tried to change Michele to Shelly. I would NOT stand for it. Still won't really. Something about that grates on my nerves.

Also, you're a bad bad de-lurker. Your wife said hi, but you my sleep-deprived friend, have not.

ps. I'll be in town tonight and tomorrow.

Posted by: Autumn at January 13, 2006 10:47 AM

"Mia Pet" -- bwah ha ha ha!

Posted by: Alison at January 13, 2006 11:13 AM

We have many (and the list continues to grow as they show their personality) names for our babies. What's with the German flavor of nick-names? Do you speak German?

Posted by: Krista at January 13, 2006 11:28 AM

"Muh muh muh MIA!"

I actually laughed out loud. That is too brilliant. And Mia? Is a lucky MiaPet.

Posted by: Pammer at January 13, 2006 11:34 AM

Nicknames are supposed to be terms of endearment, n'est pas?
Be kind, as it is a cruel, cruel, cruel world out there...

I would assert that just the sound of your voice and the gentle touch of your hand can comfort her more than a mere name.

A rose is a rose is Amelia...



Posted by: anni at January 13, 2006 11:35 AM

See? That's why it is so hard to pick a baby name. You HAVE to pick a name that can have lots of cute nicknames. Like....Squizzle....

Posted by: alfredsmom at January 13, 2006 12:19 PM

And you thought my counting to 4 was weird!

Posted by: Queen of Ass at January 13, 2006 12:28 PM

Gee, thanks for reminding me it was Friday the 13th. I had no idea until reading this.

No wonder I'm feeling like total and udder crap!

Happy Friday.

Posted by: VirgoJen at January 13, 2006 12:44 PM

Just wait until she's older and you call her one of your pet name sin front of her friends and you get the eyeroll. That's when you know your little angel is moving on- when you begin to embarass them with what was formerly cute. :)

Posted by: Bonanza Jellybean at January 13, 2006 12:44 PM

aw. those are cute! and creative. im sure one day she will appreciate it. or at least, with years of therapy, she will at least learn to forgive it.

Posted by: steph at January 13, 2006 1:33 PM

I agree with suze, der beanerschnitzel von squizzlestein is the best!!

thanks for the compliment on the photos

Posted by: Dolly at January 13, 2006 2:02 PM

I adore Mia Pet!!! :)

Posted by: Just Me1issa at January 13, 2006 2:06 PM

hands down the last one is my favorite.

trust me they will come to you, my parents are still shocked when they can come up with a new one!

Posted by: ash at January 13, 2006 2:18 PM

WRT to your 'somehow fucking her up at an early age' comment, here is something I read this morning on the train that literally had me laughing out loud. In the Dec 2005 issue of Wired, there was a story called 'The NeoPets Addiction' written by David Kushner. They were discussing how wonderful it was to imbed actual products into these immersive websites for virtual pets so that kids who spend lots of time on them can then go to a restaurant like McDonald's and continue to experience it. This kind of concerned me and then I read the following paragraph which had me rolling

"That sends critics like Kalle Lasn, editor in chief of the advetising watchdog magazine Adbusters, reeling. "They're encouraging kids to spend hours in front of the screen and at the same time recruiting them into consumer culture," Lasn says. "It's the most insidious mind-fuck ever."

So don't worry about messing up poor Mia. There are plenty of large Corporations finding new ways every day of doing that for you.

Posted by: Mike at January 13, 2006 2:25 PM

You can never have enough pet names.

Posted by: JaG at January 13, 2006 2:42 PM

well... just like dogs, it's not the actual name they answer to, it's the tone...

so just used a squealy high-pitched voice when you call her whatever it is you call her, and you'll be fine!

Posted by: misi at January 13, 2006 2:49 PM

Just name them something horrific to begin with! After that, everything else is gravey.

We named our boy Oscar. Which morphed into Bokker. And I can't decide which will scar him more ...

Posted by: s at January 13, 2006 3:42 PM

My question is when do you decide which nickname you use? I think they are all cute by the way, but explain "Squizzle."

Posted by: Michelle at January 13, 2006 3:49 PM

I called my Neice Daria "The Bean" for years and years...now that she's 20 and totally my employee and I going to start again! Thanks for reminding me!

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at January 13, 2006 4:07 PM

Der Beanerschnitzel von Squizzlestein-This one, I love, and it sounds like something my husband would come up with.

Posted by: A.K. at January 13, 2006 4:23 PM

My dad never had nicknames for me when I was growing up. He was cold and distant and not very interested in me. I think Mia, when she grows up, will be completely thrilled to know that she had a dad who loved her so much he called her a zillion awesomely cute names. I mean, awesomely masculinely cute names.


Posted by: Éireann at January 13, 2006 4:39 PM

I've always felt I had a lack of nicknames growing up. Mia, I think, will never feel this debt.

Posted by: Heather at January 13, 2006 4:47 PM

I get it. My family has dozens of names for each of the nieces & nephews. It's fun...and don't worry, those names won't affect Mia much when she's all grown up. :o)

Posted by: Milly at January 13, 2006 5:35 PM

What, no "Squiz" yet? Amateur.

Posted by: Broad at January 13, 2006 5:54 PM

LMAO...that is AWESOME! My favorite nicknames you have invented are:

Mia Bean
Mia Pet (muh muh muh Mia!)

My cat's name is Amelia. I call her "Meemee" and sometimes I'll call her like "Ahhmeelee-a"

She's also my little fat girl and my crabby girl. I don't know if you watch Stargate, but Dan calls her my "First Prime" and my "First Primerib". Cuz well, she's a little on the hefty side.

Yea, like you wanted to read all of that about my cat. LOL.

Posted by: Colleen at January 13, 2006 6:20 PM

i think Mia Pet is my favorite

Posted by: Denise at January 13, 2006 6:38 PM

Hey, we're gonna screw them up no matter what we do, so we might as well have cute names for them, right?

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at January 13, 2006 7:24 PM

I love the Muh Muh Muh Mia! That's cute!

We nicknamed our little 6 mth old dude Buddha because of his huge perfectly symmetrically round gut.

Posted by: Sabrina at January 13, 2006 8:34 PM

Oh my God, I love all of those. Much better than the two gems my dad bestowed on me: 'Nibber Nobber' and 'Gobber Slobber.' Yep. NOW we can talk psychological issues. ;)

P.S. Ok, ok, I secretly love my crazy nicknames. And babies DO slobber, after all.

Posted by: Kristina at January 13, 2006 11:32 PM

My grandson, Little JuJu came in one day after sitting on a Skittle (candy) in his car seat. The candy was stuck on the back of his pants. I now call him SkittleButt and he giggles when I do...

Posted by: JuJu's Mom at January 14, 2006 12:47 AM

Der Beanerschnitzel von Squizzlestein? My goodness, that's pretty cool. I wish my parents had a name like that for me, but I'd put it away for awhile. Don't call her that until she's, I dunno, 15 and in a very public place.

Posted by: Christina at January 14, 2006 1:06 AM

The last one is the BEST! And don't worry, it won't mess her up. Maybe give her character and a good sense of humor, but I doubt it will hurt her too much! My sister gets annoyed, I think, because I call my niece Evelyn by so many names. To name a few:

Evelina Orangina Tangerina Nectarina
Don't Cry for Me Evelina

On second thought, maybe we ARE messing up these kids! :-) LOL

Posted by: Snickrsnack Katie at January 14, 2006 3:00 AM

Ill let this comment serve as my weird confession also. In out family we all have other names that we only call each other in family. My dad is Ferd Crepshaw, Im Thyla, my mom is Alice, my sister Virgina & my brothers Stoney and Space. We confessed this to my dad's brother's family once only to find out they did the same thing.
My sister and I call each other Casey because those are our initials.
I think multiple names just means you belong.

Posted by: That Girl at January 17, 2006 7:37 AM