February 7, 2006

It's A Bird. It's A Plane. It's A Pillow?

It's amazing the lengths to which you'll go to make your kids smile. The sad thing is that I'd probably have done this anyway.


Allow me to introduce myself. I am Amazing Pillow-Head Man, one of the lesser-known superheroes from the Justice League of America, Lame And Mundane Superheroes Division. Wherever there are uncomfortable sleepers, I will be there. Wherever there are unsupported necks resulting in neck, shoulder and lower back pain, I will be there. Wherever there are pillow fights, especially ones featuring scantily clad coeds, I will be there.

Would you like to join me in my fight? What potentially lame and mundane superhero are you?

Posted by Chris at February 7, 2006 7:21 AM

I am Scary Pull-Ups-Head Lady! On occasion, I have been known to wear a hat made of a disposable undergarment designed for quasi pottytrained toddlers! My special power is being super absorbent.

Yes, there is photographic evidence of this, and no, I won't share it with you.

Posted by: Amanda at February 7, 2006 7:46 AM

Well, I am not a superhero. Not by far! But my husband, well, that's another story.

Andy is The Headless Menace. Meaning, he pulls his shirt up over his head and then chases the boys around accusing them of taking his head.

I would think that this would be scary, and I used to even discourage it. But the boys have always loved it, even when they were very small.

Posted by: Alissa at February 7, 2006 7:56 AM

What I want to know is how do y'all sleep on something so LOUD???

Posted by: mooalex at February 7, 2006 8:43 AM

I'm Grammar Girl! I fight for Truth Justice, and Appropriate Punctuation!

Posted by: Fraulein N at February 7, 2006 8:55 AM

Only my powers aren't activated this early in the morning. Obviously.

Posted by: Fraulein N at February 7, 2006 9:00 AM

Whatever powers I amy have, I am sure I will have to roll a D6 or better to activate them!! ;)

Posted by: ::c:: at February 7, 2006 9:35 AM

i am the incredible cafe latte girl. one sip and she's ready to take on the day, resucing puppies and creating top notch government communiques. but get her before she's had her starbucks hit and watch out - she puts the hulk's smash technique to shame...

Posted by: suze at February 7, 2006 9:49 AM

I, my dear Cactus, am "Curvaceous Collison" - able to disable men's minds with one wiggle of my ample and alluring hips.

...Or my boyfriend's mind, at least.

And not only that, I am also BOOB BABE: equipped with two impressive 'F Cup' missiles with the ability to hypnotise anyone in their line of fire, and able to pack a mean punch if released from their usual mode of storage and transportation: the M&S Comfort Sport Bra.

Ooh, yeah, and my best ever secret identity - I am BOTTOMLESS PIT GIRL. A girl able to consume vast amounts of junk food to save the unsuspecting public from themselves. Especially chocolate. Yep, any time, any place - you need saving from a chocolate digestive intent on taking over the world, then I'm your girl.

I'll stop now, before I make myself look foolish.

...Oh, wait...

Posted by: Alice at February 7, 2006 10:16 AM

yay! pictures with stuff on your head! my favorite.

i'm the Amazing Nap Girl, able to take giant naps over tall buildings.

Posted by: jodi at February 7, 2006 10:24 AM

I am cranky hates mornings girl. I am able to annihilate bad guys from about 5 am until 11 or so because I am tired and irritable. Then I wake up all the way and my powers fade for the day. Caffeine is my kryptonite.

I'm not a very useful super hero for an afternoon or evening emergency.

Posted by: bad penguin at February 7, 2006 10:26 AM

Love the hat, but that particular shade of green (spit-up peas?) does nothing for your complexion. I'm just saying.

Posted by: bhd at February 7, 2006 10:41 AM

Oh, and I'm Perpetual Toilet Paper Woman, making sure that you never get stranded on the toilet bowl, cuz what can you do when you're stranded, and can't get a roll?

Posted by: bhd at February 7, 2006 10:42 AM

I don't know what name I'd give myself, but my super power is the ability to not take out my mouthy teenager.

Posted by: Theresa at February 7, 2006 11:00 AM

I totally see you doing this whether there were a child involved or not! rofl

Posted by: Jade at February 7, 2006 11:11 AM

Well, today, I'd be either a super-villain: The Super Sinus Filler, or a super-hero: The Incredible Napper. Stupid Sinusitis.

Posted by: Jessie at February 7, 2006 11:20 AM

*cue music* Dum da da dummmmmm...I am "Dinner through the drive-thru" Woman! I can obtain dinner for a family of 9 in under 10 minutes flat! I can make sure the toddlers eat their dinner BEFORE they get their drinks AND their super special secret toy included with their meals, a feat not so easily accomplished.

Yes, I AM "Dinner through the drive-thru" Woman!

Posted by: Doula Amy at February 7, 2006 11:25 AM

Snark...Queen of Snark.

Posted by: Wicked H at February 7, 2006 11:36 AM

Niiiiiiicccceee and cute!

Posted by: Kelly at February 7, 2006 12:03 PM

Well... you know... a secret super-identity is supposed to remain... well you know... a secret (duh!), but since it's you...

I (ahem) am Internet-Search-Girl!! Able to find virtually ANY useless factoid in 3 clicks or less!!! Armed with my broadband of speed and my wireless gadgets of freedom I can defeat the twin demons of ignorance and impatience at any time of the day or night!!!

And in my spare time I am MomLady!! (Arch-nemesis of small sticky-fingered child-superheros everywhere!!! (Hey, when Calvin's mom was forced into retirement, SOMEONE had to take over!!!))

Posted by: Deepblue at February 7, 2006 12:03 PM

I'm Laundry-Woman. Dirty socks, be ware!

Posted by: Ginny at February 7, 2006 12:11 PM

i am Procrastination Girl. i watch reruns of The Nanny on Lifetime instead of doing important things like schoolwork and going to class!

Posted by: Denise at February 7, 2006 12:16 PM

Missed reading you the last few days - going through a rough patch, so this was a well-needed laugh. Thanks.

Posted by: Heather at February 7, 2006 1:03 PM

Maybe SuperMindlessNovelReading Girl. Hm, that's a really long title. Regardless, I can read up to 60 novels in a month while still maintaining a rather busy lifestyle. How do I do it, you ask? You may want to ask my evil twin, Insomnia Woman.

Posted by: Heather at February 7, 2006 1:30 PM

I am brain-addled law student. Able to recite the seventeen different reasons your patent is invalid. With the strength of antitrust behind me, I battle infringers and tortfeasors, brandishing my bluebook!

So totally funny to maybe three people.

Posted by: alektra at February 7, 2006 1:31 PM

I am Eyes-In-The-Back-Of-Her-Head Lady. I can identify which rugrat threw that paper ball and who they were throwing it at, all without even turning around. Additionally, my super-hearing allows me to pinpoint exactly whose cell phone just rang or who just opened that bag of Doritos that they're not supposed to be eating in class.

Posted by: Jen at February 7, 2006 1:58 PM

I am Northern Girl, able to survive Siberia-esque sub-zero weather without complaining...much. Why? Somebody has to live here and make sure the buffalo don't wander into your suburbia. (Sigh...and I perpetuate the myth of the forever-frozen northland with just one post.)

Posted by: Northern_Girl at February 7, 2006 2:06 PM

I am "Sloppy Slacker Mom"! THe kitchen is dirty and the toilets need scrubbing but I'm going to probably take a nap!

Posted by: Lisa B at February 7, 2006 2:59 PM

Looks like a colorful hat to hide your 'fro, Rasta Man. And I even spelled 'colorful' like an American in your honor, dude. (And 'honor' too!)

Posted by: Mike at February 7, 2006 3:00 PM

I am "Scapegoat Girl"

Did something go wrong? Just blame me!
It's ok, I'm used to it.

Not sure what my outfit would be, BUT I'm not dressing up as a goat :)

Posted by: penguintarts at February 7, 2006 3:05 PM

I am "Gives in Waaaay Tooo Easily to Peer Pressure Guy." I provide comic relief for all of my friends and can't say no to women I have no interest in caus I don't want to hurt them.

It's a tough job but somone has to do it.

Nice post, love the pic!

Details are up.


Posted by: JackassJimmy at February 7, 2006 4:22 PM

And you didn't accept my invitation to be a Super Hero when I posted on the subject a couple weeks ago... (We're Comin' Out) :-

Posted by: JuJu's Mom at February 7, 2006 4:29 PM

I'm Cat(hair)woman!

that's the downside of loving black AND cats.... :)

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at February 7, 2006 4:43 PM

i am Bad Pants Girl- i have the ability to make any pair of pants look like they are just plain bad, regardless of brand name, price, style, or colour. this extraordinary power stems from many factors, including but not limited to boyish hips that are actually less in circumference than my waist [which is supposed to be medically impossible...] and a bad trend of wearing pants with the ends rolled up almost to my knees.

i'm still going to marry batman though.

Posted by: meg at February 7, 2006 5:21 PM

lol.. I love it. Gave me a big o' smile anyway.

Posted by: Jenn at February 7, 2006 5:42 PM

I am Secret-Organizer Girl disguised as a Messy Martha. To the untrained observer, some aspects of my home may appear to be disorganized (or in disarray), but if you open the cupboards in my kitchen (for example) you'll see things like all of the tuna can labels lined up perfectly and such. You heard it here first.

Posted by: Kristina at February 7, 2006 10:10 PM

LMAO!!! You are so whacky and creative!

I am the cat whisperer. I speak with the cats and act on their behalf, voicing their needs, defending their rights and at times I am their lawyer, during those times of, um, "misunderstandings".

Posted by: Colleen at February 7, 2006 11:14 PM

Finally ending my stint as "Platonic Man" - I now amuse my daughter with one of those squishy foam pillows (Brookstone, LInens N Things etc...) - the cylindrical ones stay on your head real well.

Posted by: Scott at February 7, 2006 11:27 PM

I am not so much a superhero as I am a supervillain, or perhaps mediocrevillain. I am "The Complexitor". If there is any way to sufficiently explain or describe something, I can easily add another five or ten minutes onto that, or more if there's no Simplitite in the room.

My arch nemesis is the damnable Consicely Sayquick, self-appointed ally of the attention-defecit, neighbour of the nit-witted, paragon of pithiness, thrall of the thesaurus, and other such charmingly obviously-looked-up alliterative annotations.

Posted by: Gavin at February 7, 2006 11:56 PM

For some reason this comes to mind: Spunge-Bob Pillow-top; brother of Square-pants

Posted by: wlfldy at February 8, 2006 8:26 AM

You're such a goober. That's OK. I like goobers. That green is actually a great color for you!!

Posted by: Bethany at February 8, 2006 12:51 PM