May 26, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: Guilty, Bitch

Yesterday, Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were, essentially, handed their own asses on two great big silver platters of justice.

from the Associated Press
Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were convicted of conspiracy and fraud Thursday by a federal jury that laid blame for one of the biggest business scandals in U.S. history squarely on Enron Corp.'s two former top executives.

Jurors found that the once-wealthy and powerful corporate chiefs repeatedly lied to cover up accounting tricks and business failures that led to its 2001 demise. The collapse wiped out more than $60 billion in market value, almost $2.1 billion in pension plans and 5,600 jobs.

Lay was convicted on all six counts of conspiracy, securities and wire fraud against him in the corporate trial and all four in the personal banking trial. Former Chief Executive Skilling was convicted on 19 of the 28 counts in the corporate trial, including one count of insider trading, and acquitted on the remaining nine.

Lake set sentencing for Sept. 11. The charges against Lay, who is 64, carry a maximum penalty in prison of 45 years for the corporate trial and 120 years in the personal banking trial. The charges against Skilling, 52, carry a maximum penalty of 185 years in prison.

"I firmly believe I'm innocent of the charges against me," Lay said following the hearing. "We believe that God in fact is in control and indeed he does work all things for good for those who love the lord."

Unless God got a cut of that $62 million, Ken, I'd personally expect him to be mightily pissed.

Look, I don't think this requires a hell of a lot of elucidation. These dudes ripped off a lot of people and, possibly worse, cheated over 5,000 people out of their jobs. There are few things less tolerable to me than greedy people like Ken and Jeff undercutting people's livelihoods like this.

I'd be quaking in my expensive leather boots guys. You're being sentenced on September 11th. That can't be good.

And of course...the very latest hickey update...

Posted by Chris at May 26, 2006 6:55 AM

God is probably ALSO pissed about all the crap that gets lumped on Him when people refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

I mean, it'd bug me.

Yeah, the whole sentencing on Sept 11 IS a bad omen.

Good luck in prison guys. Remember; if you drop the soap, do NOT bend over...

By the way, "FUCK YEAH!"

There you go.

Glad you're getting rid of your shitty WTN. Now all you have to do is stay faithful to Dunkin Donuts and things will be definitely looking up for you.

Hugs to you, Beth & Mia Bean.

And an extra hug for Mia Bean.

I can't help it.

She's cute.


Posted by: Alice at May 26, 2006 7:04 AM

I've never seen a typo on your site, Dude. It's that damn brain-cell sucking hickey you're so proud of. Think you might oughta have that thing checked? (I think you wanted that last paragraph to read "you're being sentenc-ED...") Now, if you fix it, delete this so I don't look stupid. Can't have anyone looking stupid around here ;-)

Posted by: JuJu's Mom Linda at May 26, 2006 7:08 AM

Enjoy your week off Rude. Looks like the hickey has started it's own vacation elsewhere as well.

Happy Trails to Family Rude.

Posted by: Wicked H at May 26, 2006 7:17 AM

Happy Weekend.

and the phrase under the hickey watch, Bush to Blair..."...hold me..." made me spit coffee all over my screen at work. Now how am I supposed to explain that to the IT guys?

Posted by: suze at May 26, 2006 7:38 AM

You know it was the hickey that ran off the WTNs, right? I'm not saying you have to LOVE the hickey, but give the hickey its due.

Posted by: Contrary at May 26, 2006 7:45 AM

Bush to Blair, "You're a pretty, pretty man..."

That's too much. I love it.

Posted by: HR Mommy at May 26, 2006 7:55 AM

Hickeywatch2006 Newsticker is especially inspired today, Chris...

Posted by: Alissa at May 26, 2006 8:01 AM

I think you should have that 'hickey' biopsied.

It has been hanging around just a tad too long to be an innocent little hickey.

Posted by: Allan at May 26, 2006 8:19 AM

I hope they get the maximum. They certainly did the maximum.

They really hurt a lot of people.
In the meantime, enjoy your weekend - 3 days, is it?

Posted by: cas at May 26, 2006 8:23 AM

there's a bet that Lay will only get about 10 years (which is completely possible under the law). Skilling may get the brunt of it.

(Just some Houston rumors)

'Course, there are others of us who have said they should be made to give the money back...

Posted by: Pammer at May 26, 2006 8:26 AM

Wasn't one of the "cures" for a hickey to put toothpaste on it???

Posted by: Dawn at May 26, 2006 8:29 AM

Farewell Hickey. I will miss you.

Posted by: Bill at May 26, 2006 8:31 AM

I don't think anyone is going to worry about what happens to skilling and Lay. They certainly weren't worried about all the people whose lives they devestated with their greed.

I love the ticker, very clever!

Hey the hickey actually looks better today, I think it's finally throwing in the towel.

Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom at May 26, 2006 8:48 AM

Yeah, I can't really imagine that God's on these guys' side. And the Sept. 11 thing? Definitely not a good omen. They're so in for it.

Posted by: Jessie at May 26, 2006 9:02 AM

LOL I can't believe your hickey is still there....when you bruise, you BRUISE!

Posted by: Queen of Ass at May 26, 2006 9:06 AM

I was wondering out loud over on my political blog if they'd get more time than Martha Stewart or just "community service".

After the five years of appeals, that is.

Posted by: ann adams at May 26, 2006 9:18 AM

It still blows me away that when I was majoring in accounting in college (I graduated in 2001 before people got wise to what was going on) we studied the corporate structure at Enron as something to aspire to. And now Business Ethics is a class unto itself at my alma mater.

Looks like the hickey is finally relenting in the battle for your face - congratulations on winning the war!

Posted by: Beth in StL at May 26, 2006 9:18 AM

you know I hope these guys get a lot of harassment in prison because of that whole enron thing just my little insurance company in little old Iowa had to have two new accounting firms, auditors looked at how we assigned pens for gods sakes. procedures are so documented now you have to crap on a schedule and we are audited twice a year. if we vary from the documented procedure we have to justify why and the whole thing starts again. i pretty much hate hearing about enron, sarbanes oxley and auditors....all because of these greedy bastards. I hope they have nice roomates...that like to put the sheet up.

Posted by: linda at May 26, 2006 9:23 AM

People here in Houston were so devastated by these two greedy pricks. It's great that they were found guilty, too many people in this town own guns. They need to cough up the dough now, class action lawsuits can be filed in civil court right?

Posted by: Nic at May 26, 2006 9:32 AM

So what have we learned from Enron? The business world and regulators are patting themselves on the back and telling us itís ok to invest in stocks again because the bad guys have been punished. But Refco, Fannie Mae, and the backdating of options tell us that the bugs are still in the system. A few years of Sarbanes-0xley is not going to save us from another Enron. Read more at:

Posted by: Sox First at May 26, 2006 9:42 AM

I think Skilling and Lay can look forward to receiving their very own hickeys from loyal cellmates and prison yard overlords in days to come.
"Try not to scream too loudly, guys, when that brand of justice arrives."

Posted by: wordgirl at May 26, 2006 9:49 AM

it's almost gone ...


Posted by: s@bd at May 26, 2006 9:53 AM

I, too, thought the date Sept. 11th could NOT be a good thing. If I was Lay or Skilling.

Living here, right in the action, we have heard everything about it AND had to see them arrive for court every single day. Ken Lay's wife was looking pretty good until yesterday. She looked like aged 10 years in minutes. I'm thinking she has divorce papers at the ready.

Posted by: Debbie at May 26, 2006 10:11 AM

Yup they piss me off...I have spent 20 years in a job and I am nervous about my retirement! Just what people need after working so damn hard is to eat cat food in retirement! Bastards...then they have the gall to say they still feel they were RIGHT and that God card! Rolling eyes!

BTW Love the hanging on hicky! Your still cute, are you still wearing your good ass pants? Giggle

Posted by: Gypsy at May 26, 2006 10:13 AM

You know, I almost emailed you yesterday to nominate Lay and Skilling for Schadenfreude Friday. Glad to see we are on the same wavelength. I just wish we could see their faces when they realize they really are going to prison.

Posted by: bad penguin at May 26, 2006 10:18 AM

Dude, good thing we here in Chicago only have the good, non-evil, smarmy and strange, but at least as unreliable as any weatherman Tom Skilling (dude's brother) to tell us about why it's raining out! Take THAT!

Posted by: andy at May 26, 2006 10:31 AM

Every Woman Soledad O'Brien said this morning that this 72-year-old (maybe 75?) man had over $2 million in his 401K and it's gone now because of those jackasses. He's working now because he can't afford to retire.

Posted by: Rhonda at May 26, 2006 10:39 AM

I think you should do the suction cup thing again. Just so we can see the hickey watch 2006

Posted by: statia at May 26, 2006 10:47 AM

That hickey is your way of wanting to fit in with the WTN, isn't it?

Posted by: erika at May 26, 2006 10:54 AM

I'm sorry, I've been confined to the land of OZ and I didn't know about the hickey thing but I went all the way back and caught up. I'm laughing very hard, very late...very sorry (about all the laughing, not the fact that you have a hickey on your forehead! heehee) Happy Friday!

Posted by: Kate at May 26, 2006 11:24 AM

When does a hickey become just a bruise? So glad you are almost healed.

My husband, the MBA candidate, laughed out loud at your post today. They studied this case in his program and he said before the trail, "These guys are guilty but I don't know if they'll get convicted, unfortunately." The wheels of the Gods grind slowly, but exceedingly fine.

Posted by: Annie at May 26, 2006 11:36 AM

OMG, I'm laughing too hard over the "ken laid" and "hold me" ticker!!
I write for a business publication, so I hear all the time about the after-effects of the whole Enron thing. Happy that there ARE after-effects to make it much harder to do what those two morons did. When I think of all the lives they ruined, prison just doesn't quite seem like enough punishment. I think they should both be locked in a room with the angry hickey.

Posted by: Traci at May 26, 2006 11:56 AM

Sept 11th eh? That gives them plenty of time to watch all six seasons of Oz.

Posted by: jodi at May 26, 2006 12:15 PM

Looking better! Pretty soon it will be gone, lol! Hope you learned your lesson. :)

Posted by: Mary at May 26, 2006 12:32 PM

"Hold me." That totally cracked me up.

I agree that, were I God, I'd be totally pissed off by all the asshats that claim that I'm on their side.

I have a friend who lost her pension and 401k in the Enron collapse. I think they should have to repay everyone with their earnings from really nasty prison jobs... maybe giving sponge baths to all the other inmates.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at May 26, 2006 12:55 PM

Chris, I think that thing is permantent.

Posted by: Melissa at May 26, 2006 1:39 PM

Are you working from home today? You didn't go to work with that hair did you?

Ha, ha -- loving the new porn ticker!!

Posted by: chantel at May 26, 2006 1:44 PM

Cheated folks out of their futures. As inflated as some of them were, even so. So taking away their futures? Priceless.

Oh, and by the way. LOVE the hair!

Posted by: bhd at May 26, 2006 2:03 PM

I was soooooo mixed emotioney when I heard the verdict. On one hand, they deserve prison time for sure. On the other...for the rest of their life!? Really? Seems a bit excessive to me.

Hickey says, "Braaaaaains."

Posted by: melati at May 26, 2006 2:24 PM

Porn ticker? hehe. And I'm so glad those jackasses were convicted. Saying God is on their side for something like that...oy. In my mind, just makes me want them punished more. Too many people drag God into horrid things. (ie. The Crusades....) /rant

Posted by: Heather at May 26, 2006 2:27 PM

I saw Ken say the same thing about loving the lord. He and the guy my hubby and I bought a business from many years ago must be related. Cause they were both lying crooks who liked to shout their love of the lord from the rooftops.

Posted by: Lisa B at May 26, 2006 2:45 PM

Doesn't it just about kill you when Ken Lay says shit like that? Denial is a wonderful thing, Ken, but it won't get you out of being raped by the prison guards. That, my friend, is stone cold reality.

Posted by: Michelle at May 26, 2006 4:36 PM

I can't beileve that hickie is still there after almost one week!

Posted by: Ava at May 26, 2006 5:22 PM

When I heard the day of the sentencing last night I had to do a double take. I wonder if that date was picked just to scare the crap out of them?

Posted by: Isabel at May 26, 2006 6:26 PM

I actually heard that in the wake of the Enron scandal, the higher-ups have started turning to Ayn Rand's book "Atlas Shrugged" to comfort themselves, because it depicts her philosophy of objectivism, which holds that basically, industrialists are the pinnacle of humanity because they have sacrificed nothing to attain the huge power that they have.

Posted by: Gavin at May 26, 2006 7:39 PM

My former Enron friends & I are soooooo happy they got slammed! (Yes, I worked at Enron for three years.) Die in the slammer jerks!

Posted by: Heather at May 30, 2006 5:35 PM

Quelqu'un peut-il me dire comment obtenir les avatars peu à montrer dans ma section des commentaires? merci!

Posted by: Lancel at November 18, 2011 4:54 AM