July 31, 2006

The Recap (Fish, Backs and Gravity)

Someone once said, "a fine summer weekend is grand, even one marred by back injuries and vomiting." Now, I'm not sure who that person was (Im thinking President Warren G. Harding it sounds like something hed say), but it's as if he knew exactly what had transpired this weekend. (Imagine that!) And I couldn't agree with him more.

My lovely wife asked her many wonderful readers to help plan this weekend's events. We went with the aquarium suggestions. Anyone who lives around here knows that we have two "National" aquariums - one in D.C. and one in Baltimore. (Of course, anyone who lives around here can attest to the fact that everything is "national"...while downtown, we saw the National Homeless People, parked in the National Parking Garage and ate a National Snowcone from a National Hot Dog Vendor.) We hit the D.C. version, deciding we shouldn't push our luck with a day-long outing. Mia's teething. Taking a day trip would be like poking a dangerous wild animal with a stick and hoping you survived the day with your arms and legs intact.

Since these two attractions share the same name, you might think that they'd be somewhat equal in their offerings to the public. You would be incorrect, but we knew this going in. You see, the D.C. National Aquarium is conveniently located in the basement of the Commerce Department. It's a little ghetto. Put another way, if we were talking about TV series, the Baltimore aquarium would be like Lost or Seinfeld. You know - quality. The bastard D.C. stepchild would be, well, Small Wonder, that really terrible sitcom from 1985 starring the freaky little robot chick. But still, we had a good time and the aquarium was a hit. Mia loved the fish and managed to stay interested through most of the exhibits. In that respect, the aquarium was perfect. It was kid-length.

The rest of the day was spent flat on my back...or bitching about the massive amount of pain I was in. What happened? I got old, that's what. I picked Mia up, twisted the wrong way and paid for it the rest of the weekend.

Sunday was spent recovering from the back thing, accompanied by some swimming, photo editing, mixed CD making...oh, and vomiting. Or, to be more accurate, being vomited upon. The details are unimportant. Suffice it to say, Mia is feeling much better. The same cannot be said for my hat. I'm not sure how that happened but it seemed gravity was having a little joke at my expense.

This morning, on the way to work, I saw a rather large bra hanging off a tree. Do you think this is some sort of sign? And if so, of what?

Posted by Chris at July 31, 2006 6:57 AM

Mia and Dad, walking down the sidewalk. So cute...

I suggested to my parents the aquarium in Dallas this weekend as they, too, were looking for weekend fun. They endded up not going.

Glad your weekend was wonderful!

Posted by: Emily at July 31, 2006 7:06 AM

Between the two of us, I think we can keep Small Wonder mentioned on the Internet (at least as a cautionary measure) for weeks on end.

Posted by: Nicole at July 31, 2006 7:26 AM

Bras hanging from trees. Yes, I read the whole post and that is what I came away with. The image of a large bra hanging from a tree.

I hope your isn't toooo bad...since my schedule changes from week to week, today is like Friday (in that I am off tomorrow) for me, but still feels like a Monday, what with paperwork and conference calls. This does not seem fair to me.

Posted by: Contrary at July 31, 2006 7:44 AM

That chubby little arm is killing me.

And damn, I thought I was the only one who remembered Small Wonder. God, was it awful.

Posted by: Sparkles Anon at July 31, 2006 7:48 AM

Well, glad your back is better. And glad Mia is feeling better.

I've yet to take my boys to an aquarium, because there isn't one nearby. I know they'd love it.

Love the pics, esp. the one of Beth and Mia from below. Taken after the back injury? ;-)

Posted by: Alissa at July 31, 2006 8:00 AM

I feel all helpful. I was one of the many who suggested the aquarium...er then your back went out and Mia puked. Hope they weren't connected. But, hey, at least you saw a really big bra in a tree. That's gotta count for something.

Hope you both are better and that no one else pukes.

Posted by: Sharri at July 31, 2006 8:10 AM

Once saw a bra hanging from a tree while on a ski lift. Now there is an event that will leave a question in your mind for, like forever!

Posted by: Maribeth at July 31, 2006 8:17 AM

Me thinks the WTN left the bra as a buh-bye gift to the hood.

Hope the back is better!

Posted by: Wicked H at July 31, 2006 8:23 AM

Glad your back is feeling better. I'm just going to sit here for a minute and squee at Mia walking down the sidewalk (the sidewalk!) like a big girl. And the pointing! With her chubby little arm! Sooo cute.

Posted by: Fraulein N at July 31, 2006 8:31 AM

I bet the bra belongs to Cinderella. She is waiting for Prince Charming to find it.

Posted by: Bill at July 31, 2006 8:52 AM

The back thing...ouch. You think YOU'RE getting old...trying doing nothing more strenuous than bending at the waist to brush one's hair...only to have one's back rearrange itself upon righting oneself. At least another human was involved in your injury. :)

Posted by: Marilyn at July 31, 2006 9:14 AM

I suspect that the WTN use the bra as a double dip Sno-Cone holder and they used it to send tribute to the way you spent your day. "Small Wonder" gave me the creeps.

Posted by: wordgirl at July 31, 2006 9:44 AM


I can trump that by saying that my teen threw up her dinner of squid, green bean and grape juice all over the living room at 4 am after sneaking out and drinking vodka, 100 proof APPLE vodka (ew) with her friend.

So, I win....sorta.

Never let Mia out of the house alone.


Posted by: Julia at July 31, 2006 10:32 AM

Obviously it's a sign that the large-breasted aliens are among us and they're signaling their friends that the coast is clear. Clear for what, I'm still not sure. I'll let you know when I work that part out.

Happy Monday! (sorta)

Posted by: shelley at July 31, 2006 10:56 AM

first of all, your wife is truly lovely. she looks AMAZING in those shots. really amazing.

second, could there be a show any more creepy than a girl who talks like a freak and lives in a closet? but, in the shows defense, it did have Mrs. Poole (cannot for the life on me remember what her name was on small wonder, though). and she can do no wrong in my books.

Posted by: ali at July 31, 2006 11:05 AM

The bra in the tree, is that what Mia is pointing at in the picture?

Bra in a tree is as mysterious as how Mia threw up and hit your hat...

Hope you feel better!

Posted by: oakley at July 31, 2006 11:06 AM

Such a big girl, walking down the street!

I'm glad the aquarium was a hit (though I'm still amazed that they haven't improved it since I was there 20 years(!) ago). That was the first place I saw a cockroach!

Sorry about the back pain and the barfed-upon-ness.

It's July, when the corn is as high as an elephant's eye, and the bras are busting out all over?

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at July 31, 2006 11:15 AM

yup, dad's and bad backs, it's like a rite of passage, seems to me all dad's at some point or another develop bad backs.the story will inherently turn into a more macho version of the truth; you know sports, combat, something.

the bra: clearly a sign that was foretold in the great book of Revelations: The World is in Chaos; It's all going Tits Up.

Have a great monday!

Posted by: Linda at July 31, 2006 11:17 AM

Yeah, geting old. Sucks doesn't it. Love the bra!

Posted by: Heather at July 31, 2006 11:27 AM

I really hope your back feels better soon, and I can deeply sympathize with Beth. Since I'm confident that you can't flip rubber bands at me from such a distance, I'll mention that back-wrenched husbands are rarely pleasant company (then duck under my desk for good measure).

Two words of advice: Osteopathic Physician.

Posted by: Betti at July 31, 2006 11:39 AM

DUDE! I totally met the actor who played the dad on Small Wonder a couple years ago. His name escapes me ... but, I do remember that he was hitting on me something fierce. He was all, "Oh, you're a writer? Send me an e-mail, and I'll see what I can do." What you can do? You're the dad from Small Wonder, dude.

Posted by: Jen at July 31, 2006 11:40 AM

Oooh, baptism by vomit.

Yeah, the dirty litle secret all parents share.

Sorry about your back!

Posted by: Jen at July 31, 2006 12:03 PM

I was so hoping for a picture on the Small Wonder link; I have vague recollections and I know I watched it a few times, but I can't remember any of the characters. Too funny, though, that so many of us remember such a crappy show at all!

Posted by: Kristen at July 31, 2006 12:04 PM

My friend once explained to my naive butt that when you aee a lot of shoes ona wire overhead, that they are indeed not the remnants of a happy childs' game, but a sign that says "Drugs! Fresh hot drugs by 4 a.m.!" The more shoes, the better worse the drugs.

What does a bra mean? Coochie? Not sure. I'll ask.

Posted by: mr lady at July 31, 2006 12:25 PM

Wow! 3 grammatical errors in one post. That's a record. Could you fix it so your friends don't think I'm a moron?

Posted by: mr lady at July 31, 2006 12:30 PM

Seriously, how awesomely ridiculous is the national aquarium? It's like some guy named Ned had a hobby of setting up aquariums in the office basement and some number cruncher on the top floor was like, "hey! Let's charge admission to that thing Ned's got going on in the basement. That'll help pay for the electricity of running those pumps at least." I love it.

Posted by: Polichick at July 31, 2006 12:45 PM

Cute pictures! Sorry you hurt your back. But yay for aquariums! I love aquariums. I'm trying to figure out how to afford the money and time to swing by the aquarium on yon outer banks next weekend while we're there. Don't think it will happen. That's the next trip, I suppose.

Anyway, wow. What a boring comment!

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at July 31, 2006 12:53 PM

i love how toddlers point at little things as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. it's so cute.

I went to the Baltimore aquarium on my 8th grade trip to D.C. All i remember about it were the aquarium columns at the entrance. ... unless they're not there and i'm thinking of some other aquarium.

Posted by: Denise at July 31, 2006 1:17 PM

The bra isn't a sign.... but merely a piece of debris from WTN's front porch. :-)

Posted by: Steph at July 31, 2006 1:57 PM

The pictures are great.

Sounds like you had a fun-filled weekend. You must be extra tired this morning.

Posted by: Isabel at July 31, 2006 1:58 PM

Hope the back and barfing are better!

Posted by: Heather at July 31, 2006 2:03 PM

You left out the part where she peed on you.

Posted by: Mrs. Cactus at July 31, 2006 2:40 PM

Wonderful pictures as always. Mia is such a lovely little bean.

So... A large bra hanging off a tree huh? I know alcohol has played the part in many of my friends free-boobin' it. But they usually took their bras WITH them. Those suckers are expensive!

Posted by: Tink at July 31, 2006 3:35 PM

Oh I can identify! First off, the DC aquarium SUCKS. My mother-in-law works in that building and so we visited it once. WOW what a waste of space. Equally as small but actually very impressive is the San Francisco aquarium on Pier 9. If you are ever out this way check it out. The majority of it is a tunnel through a giant tank with local species. It's SUPER fun for kids, even kids our babies age.

Second, me and Michael have the backs of 90 year olds these days. I've had a pain, which makes it hard to turn my head, between my shoulder blades for a month now. Massages and yoga haven't helped at all. Guess it's having a 23 pound kid I gotta haul out of the crib four times a day.

Third, yep, been puked on a lot lately. We've discovered that he's lactose intollerant. We've also discovered that vomited yogurt SMELLS REALLY REALLY BAD.

Posted by: Heather at July 31, 2006 4:25 PM

Oh dude... bad back, you were vomited AND peed upon? That's gotta be a metaphor for something! Well - swimming is good for the back... and good in the heat anyway! take it easy dude!

Posted by: Sue at July 31, 2006 5:12 PM

I'd say the bra was a sign that means although you got puked on and your back hurts, your cups runeth over. heehee

Posted by: Lisa B at July 31, 2006 5:23 PM

You know, as long as I've lived here I can't believe I never knew there was an aquarium in DC. I was taking some relatives around the city last week and saw the sign on the Commerce Building. It didn't look very inviting... or aquarium-like.

Bra in tree = someone trying to join Mile High Club accidentally flushed it?

Posted by: Liz at July 31, 2006 7:43 PM

Ooo, sounds like you had a rough weekend. I'm hoping that the bra was a good omen!

Posted by: Beth in StL at July 31, 2006 8:24 PM

It must have been a wild party at that house. Hey, get better and quit being a wimp!

Posted by: Dennis at July 31, 2006 10:04 PM

I can relate to the getting old, back problem thing.

Several months ago, I injured my back and when it didn't get better I went to the doctor. He gave me some medicine and told me to take it easy for a while. Unforunately said medicine made me feel much better and within a week I decided I was totally healed. Big mistake, I managed to re-injure my back; this time much, much worse that the first. Several weeks later and after much gimping around, I am finally back to normal. I now live with the knowledge of what a severe back injury is like and I live in fear.

Moral: If you think you feeling better give it another couple of weeks.

Posted by: Chris at July 31, 2006 11:09 PM

I hope your back feels better! Joey loves aquariums, too. I took her to a restaurant with an aquarium all around it on her b-day. She loved it. The big bra hanging from a tree may be a sign of the weight you're gaining from having to lie on your back all the time, now....man-boobs anyone...?

Posted by: haley-o at July 31, 2006 11:30 PM

Hope the back is better. What a bummer.

and the large bra may be a sign from ....???

Posted by: cas at August 1, 2006 7:07 AM

Is Mia pointing to the large bra in the tree? Glad you had a good time at the aquarium. Sorry this is a late post too....I am trying to catch up from taking off work Friday and Monday for birthday-related reasons, such as, It's my birthday and I'm taking off work!! Hope you had a great weekend regardless of the back problems and vomit. :)

Posted by: Michelle at August 1, 2006 9:52 AM

Okay, I guess I'm the only nerd who liked that show -Small Wonder. I'm always wishing they'll have reruns of that on TV Land or something.

Large Bra in tree? I dunno... Someone trying for wild monkey sex in a tree? The heat will do strange things to people. LOL

Posted by: HR Mommy at August 1, 2006 12:21 PM

I once saw a lampshade on the bench at a busstop. I have yet to decipher its meaning. Perhaps it and the bra are in cahoots...

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