August 3, 2006

Why Today Won't Be The Best Day Of The Week

First, um, geez. You guys enjoyed the hardcore mullet action, huh? If I'd known my mullet had that kind of draw, I would have posted it long ago. Maybe I should just grow that bad boy back! Or not.

On to other things...

Yesterday afternoon, my mom called to tell me that my grandfather (my dad's dad) was in pretty bad shape. This is not unexpected. My folks are headed out today to make the five hour drive and taking along some black clothing, just in case. I know I should be sad or feel something but the truth is that this was all set in motion long ago. I talked to my dad last night. I didn't quite know what to say.

Me: Hang in there. Or some other cliche. I'm not sure what the hell I'm supposed to say here.
Him: I know. It doesn't matter. I know what you mean.
Me: What the hell are you supposed to say, anyway?
Him: I'm not sure.
Me: Well then hang in there is the best we can do isn't it?
Him: That'll work.
Me: Then do it.
Him: Thanks.

I've got something like 37 meetings today and the coffee I picked up at Dunkin Donuts - which I'm now beginning to think is a front for a gang or some odd illegal activity - tastes like crap. But hey, at least I don't still have a mullet.

Posted by Chris at August 3, 2006 7:10 AM

I'm sorry, Chris. It is hard to know what to say. Now you hang in there, okay?

Posted by: samantha at August 3, 2006 7:26 AM

I'm sorry, Chris. I never really know what to say, either, so just hang in there.

And perhaps find some decent coffee.

Posted by: Alissa at August 3, 2006 7:42 AM

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say or how to feel. Maybe in your grandfather's case, he will go to a better place if it comes down to that. And to go along with the crowd, Hang in there.

Posted by: Michelle at August 3, 2006 8:15 AM

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say or how to feel. Maybe in your grandfather's case, he will go onto a better place if it comes down to that. And to go along with the crowd, Hang in there.

Posted by: Michelle at August 3, 2006 8:15 AM

Sorry to hear about your grandfather.

Posted by: Fraulein N at August 3, 2006 8:26 AM

It is usually in times like this where not saying anything is probably most appreciated. Just being there for your dad is what is most important. It is also proabably the most difficult because with me, it is making sure my dad would be okay as opposed to my Grandfather.

I would just try to make your dad laugh.

My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: Bill at August 3, 2006 8:29 AM

Sorry, Chris. I know what you mean.

Enjoy your lack of mullet-ness, and try to get some better coffee in between meetings.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at August 3, 2006 8:40 AM

Sorry. Dunkin Donuts is the front for the gay mafia. Part of their agenda is to make bad coffee until lawmakers give in and make gay marriage legal. Or some scenario that might bring a smile to your face.

Posted by: That Girl at August 3, 2006 8:48 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. And I understand how you're feeling...

Posted by: suze at August 3, 2006 8:50 AM

Sorry about your grandfather. Hugs.

Posted by: Traci at August 3, 2006 9:07 AM

Yipes - familial grief, bad coffee, mega meetings . . . are you sure this isn't a Monday?

I thought Dunkin Doughnuts was run by Starbucks in a bizarre attempt to make Starbucks coffee seem better - or was that the other way around?

Posted by: Betti at August 3, 2006 9:15 AM

but if you DID have a mullet that would probably mean you'd be the type of person who wouldn't give a damn about a lot of things and therefore meetings would have the potential of being fun. plus, nobody would take anything you said or did seriously because, hey, you're the guy with the mullet! the more i think about it, the more i think you should grow your hair out again.

this is not sermon, just a thought.

Posted by: pea at August 3, 2006 9:19 AM

YOU hang in there too..

Posted by: molly at August 3, 2006 9:29 AM

hey, you are in my thoughts.

here is wishing for more crazies to liven up your world, some great coffee to get your day started and sweet peace for your grandfather and father (and yourself).

take care.

Posted by: jaymarie at August 3, 2006 10:05 AM

It's hard in those situations. My grandmother had been so sick for so long, and had flat out said she was ready to die, so it was almost a relief when she did. That's not to say we didn't love her and weren't sad to see her go, but it is hard to explain that mix of emotions.

You hang in there too.

Posted by: bad penguin at August 3, 2006 10:08 AM

Even if it's expected, that's never easy news, and I'm sorry to hear of it. Hang in.

Posted by: Kristina at August 3, 2006 10:08 AM

Sorry, Chris. Death, meetings, extreme heat. Bad day all around.

Posted by: shelley at August 3, 2006 10:15 AM

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Your conversation with your dad is a unique, yet awesome understanding, and I envy you that. I hope everyone finds the peace they seek on the trip.

On the mullet front... it's funny how many people come out of the woodwork to say something when a good pic goes up. And that one takes the cake.

Posted by: Brad at August 3, 2006 10:17 AM

i have a ton of meetings as well.

there is all manner of loss and i know what it's like when someone elderly has been dying for a long time. i miss my grandma all the time, but watching her have to live like she did for the last few years was heartbreaking.

my thoughts are with you and your family.

Posted by: jodi at August 3, 2006 10:25 AM

It's never easy to find words at a time like that. I'm sure it was a comfort for your dad just knowing that you wanted to say something, and Hang in there does pretty much cover it.

As for the DD covering as a front, as long as the odd illegal activity stays there, I don't care... but they could at least make a good cup of coffee.

Hugs for you all...

Posted by: Karen at August 3, 2006 10:27 AM

i NEVER know what to say in these types of situations. whatever i end up saying, i always sound like an ass...

so, i'll use your words...hang in there :)

Posted by: ali at August 3, 2006 10:31 AM

You know where I am in that whole "close family member is really sick and/or dying" thing, so you know I know how you feel. What more can I say but hang in there and that my thoughts are with you.

Posted by: Oakley at August 3, 2006 10:33 AM

I'll jump on the bandwagon: hang in there!

Posted by: Alison at August 3, 2006 10:35 AM

There's not much I can add to what's already been said. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Posted by: ann adams at August 3, 2006 10:45 AM

Bang in there. I'm sorry, I mean HANG in there. =D

BTW, your mullet rocked! I couldn't comment yesterday but I am looking for my own mullet picture circa 1983. Yeah, I was a trend-setter!

Sorry about your granddad. My thoughts are with you and your Dad and the rest of the family right now.

Posted by: Q at August 3, 2006 11:48 AM

I'm sorry...

Posted by: mamatulip at August 3, 2006 11:53 AM

Hang in there, Chris.

Posted by: Vaguely Urban at August 3, 2006 12:03 PM

I know how you feel about your grandfather. When my grandmother finally got so bad that it was *that* bad, no one really knew what to do. I mean, in all honesty, we expected her to bounce back because all the women in her family lived to be really old pains in the ass. I had no idea what to say to my dad (it was his mom) because I wasn't sure how he even felt about everything. My grandmother was a very bitter person and hard to get along with. When she died, it was sad but two years later, I'm still trying to figure out how I feel.

At any rate, I feel you on this. If there's anything I can do (tell bad jokes, knit you a hat, kidnap Anderson Cooper...oh wait. That's what I'd make YOU do for ME...) :)

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at August 3, 2006 12:14 PM

At least you gave your grandfather a chance to be a great grandfather for a while...

That must be a nice gift to give.

Posted by: melati at August 3, 2006 12:31 PM

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Maribeth at August 3, 2006 12:49 PM

I felt like that when my Grandmother died. Ummm, OK, I should be really sad, right? But it was a long time coming and she was ready and it was just so not a shock (even though the thing that killed her happened pretty fast).

So yeah, hang in there and let it be what it is. I'll be thinking about your family.

Posted by: Elaine at August 3, 2006 1:05 PM

It isn't always easy to figure out how to feel in situations like these. I guess the chips will fall how they are supposed to, and it is good that you realize that your grandfather is in other hands now. I think that is actually a healthier way of dealing with things. Of course, I hope he pulls through all right. When my grandmother died, it was out of nowhere and she had never been sick. That was a shock. So in a way you are lucky that you can be prepared.

And by the way, the mullet? Wow. I just can't find words for it.

Posted by: Snickrsnack Katie at August 3, 2006 1:42 PM

Hey Chris, ever consider a career in motivational speaking??? I jest, sorry, maybe it's not the time.

I realize it may be expected but that doesn't make it any easier to lose someone. I'm still not over my grandma's death and that was in March.

Good luck in your 37 meetings and sorry about the bad coffee, but Dunkin Donuts? For coffee? You should have known dude :) Here's my turn at being cliche...Keep your head up camper!

Posted by: Kate at August 3, 2006 2:42 PM

Wow. That really, really sucks. My dad and I have come damned close to losing HIM over the last few months, so now we pretty much just joke about it. But before we had a few talks about when he lost HIS father, and when his father lost HIS father, and it's just never an easy thing, no matter the age. My thoughts and prayers are with your dad, and you.

Posted by: ku nkiko at August 3, 2006 2:58 PM

Dude, I come by to give you great news and I am greeted by sick grandpas and BAD COFFEE. I don't know which is worse.

Um, you guys won, like, 2 different prizes which I have consolidated into one bangin' mixtape prize. Do you want it?

And seriously, I am sad for you. I know the whole thing about being kind of detached from it, but it sucks for your dad. Since we're all BFF's now, my heart breaks for him.

A good mixtape is just what you need.

Posted by: mr lady at August 3, 2006 3:07 PM

Sorry to hear about your grandpa. Even though it's not unexpected, it's never easy. Hang in there.

Posted by: Jenn at August 3, 2006 3:32 PM

My husband just lost his mother two weeks ago (she was my MIL for only 3 weeks, even though I'd known her for 10 years), and there really is nothing that can be said... no matter if it was an unexpected death or moreso expected because the person is elderly and in poor health.

Truth is, society as a whole doesn't deal well with death. Everyone wants to help out and do things for the survivors in the immediate family, but really, what IS there to do?

My take on the whole thing? Hanging in there is about the best we can hope for at times like this, so it's the most appropriate thing to say, in my humble opinion.

So, hang in there, my friend. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Posted by: ironic1 at August 3, 2006 4:37 PM

My condolences to your family Chris. And many heartfelt prayers will be said for you and yours at this time. Also may you see how loved you and yours are by many. This blog truly shows that it takes a village, and yes there are truly good people amongst us here on Earth.

Posted by: JENNIFER at August 3, 2006 5:35 PM

Sending hugs and sympathy to you guys.

Posted by: mrs mogul at August 3, 2006 6:01 PM

I'm a hugger - so I'm sending a thoughtful hug and *pats on the back* and I'll be thinking about you.... this stage is very tough - I've been through it so I really am thinking about you.

Posted by: Sue at August 3, 2006 6:02 PM

oh man...
well best to you guys. know.

Posted by: Sarcomical at August 3, 2006 6:04 PM

...and we all know that mullets are/have been responsible for many untold deaths, so your advice to your dad is made stronger by the fact that your present haircut isn't causing a tsunami someplace or contributing to global warming. I think you're doing all that you can.

Posted by: wordgirl at August 3, 2006 6:17 PM

...and we all know that mullets are/have been responsible for many untold deaths, so your advice to your dad is made stronger by the fact that your present haircut isn't causing a tsunami someplace or contributing to global warming. I think you're doing all that you can. Sorry about your grandfather, though. Really.

Posted by: wordgirl at August 3, 2006 6:17 PM

I hope you and your family are ok. Best wishes...

Posted by: E :) at August 3, 2006 6:19 PM

Sorry to hear that. I hope everything is okay. I send you and your family a big hug and my prayers tonight.

Posted by: Ava at August 3, 2006 7:15 PM

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Your job now should be to be there for your dad when the time comes. My grandpa was sick for a long time too, but it didn't really hit me until he passed. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Posted by: Beth in StL at August 3, 2006 7:51 PM

My prayers are with you and your family. I will light a candle for your grandfather and say a prayer to St. Joseph in that he watches over your grandfather at this time.

Anni ~

Posted by: Anni at August 3, 2006 8:40 PM

Man, I am in the same boat. My grandmother has been fairly ill, going in and out of the hospital. But she is 95+ and I just hope to make it to that age. I still don't know what to say. I am just greatful for being able to have her in my life this long. She's the only grand parent I've had in the last 15+ years.

Posted by: Chris at August 3, 2006 9:48 PM

I'm thinking of you, Chris.

Hang in there.


Posted by: Alice at August 4, 2006 6:42 AM

I'm so sorry.

I totally understand what you are saying. I was in a similar situation myself this week. My grandmother took a turn for the worse and we were told she has a week, at most, left. While I feel horrible for my father and love my grandmother dearly, I don't seem to have the intense sadness that my cousins have. My grandmother is 96 and has lived not only a long happy life but a happy one; I guess I'm finding peace with the situation from that.

Again, I'm so sorry to about your grandfather.

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