September 8, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: Bust(ing) Up A Starbucks

Sometimes a week just gives you too much material. I know the obvious choices would be Paris' latest mistake or the whole secret prison debacle but instead I'd like to use this space to highlight a true American hero.

Starbucks' decision to revert to its original mermaid logo this month is causing a stir at one local school.

Thirty-five years after the first cup of Starbucks was sold, the java giant is returning to its artistic roots. During September, Starbucks' cups are sporting the original logo, a familiar mermaid. But for some, the sketched depiction clearly showing the mermaidís breasts is a little too much skin.

A Kent elementary school principal has asked that teachers stopping for a cup on the way to work be sure to get a cup sleeve to cover up the image.

"The principal at that school made a decision that she thought that it could be distracting for students," school district spokeswoman Becky Hanks said.

In this day and age, a time when pesky things such as sexual abuse, promiscuous underage sex, drug and alcohol abuse, broken homes, and television rife with sex and violence are becoming the rule, not the exception, combined with the added bonus of a failing educational system, I stand and honor you, oh nameless Kent elementary school principal. You have single-handedly cut through the politically correct bullshit of our time and found an issue that matters - boobies!

Posted by Chris at September 8, 2006 7:13 AM

Tiny drawn boobies on a mythical creature no less...

Posted by: Kristin at September 8, 2006 7:32 AM

It has been proven that mermaid boobies cause riots in the streets and low fetal birth weight.

Posted by: Nicole at September 8, 2006 7:37 AM

For the love of boobies!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Wicked H at September 8, 2006 7:50 AM

Heh. I might actually have to go to Starbucks now, just for the titty cup.

Posted by: Contrary at September 8, 2006 7:54 AM

Heehhh Heehhh - he said boobies!

Posted by: Heather at September 8, 2006 7:55 AM

This makes me laugh. Can you imagine being a teacher and being told how to bring your coffee to work because of a design on a cup?! I would roll my eyes as the principal. I mean - I guess I can understand his logic, but really. That's kinda nuts.

Posted by: Emily at September 8, 2006 8:04 AM

Why not just get a Sharpie and draw a little bustier over the mermaid's "nudity" and get it over with? Or two coconut halves and some string? Geez.

Posted by: wordgirl at September 8, 2006 8:15 AM

*rolls eyes* I'm surprised you didn't talk about how the whole releasing prisoners comes just before elections...

and maybe I'm cynical, but I'm finding it very odd that gas prices are suddenly dropping... actually, it's not odd, it's rather.... convinient... for those running in November...

But what do I know? I'm just an observant American citizen... the rest of who seem to be asleep at the wheel...

Posted by: Corinne at September 8, 2006 8:26 AM

Kent, Ohio? Wow I am proud to live here.

Posted by: JuJuBee at September 8, 2006 8:30 AM

ooooh, Starbucks could hand out little bra stickers.

Posted by: Betti at September 8, 2006 8:33 AM

It all about boobs at the Cactus-Fish household this week.

Posted by: ktjrdn at September 8, 2006 8:35 AM

Boobies apparently have the power to bring law and order (and common sense, I guess) to a screeching halt. Tiny Drawn Boobies is SO the name of my band's second album.

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 8, 2006 8:36 AM

really, i'm less concerned with the boobies and more concerned with the fact that the mermaid is spreading her two tailsl. I mean, have you seen the original logo - it's just inviting those prepubescent boys to have fantasies of boobies and spread tails

Posted by: suze at September 8, 2006 8:38 AM

I wonder what the penalty is for not getting the sleeve? Do they have to wear the cup inside out? Maybe they get sent home to change their cup? Maybe the pricipal should not be worrying about a set of boobies that are about an 1/8th of an inch in size. Good Lord I can't see the damn things when I have the cup in my hand and believe me I have tried to see them too, after all I am a guy and seeing any boobies after you get married is considered getting lucky!!

Posted by: Jeff A at September 8, 2006 8:44 AM

I think it's worse that the principal is a woman. She's oppressing her sister-mermaid! Fight the power!

Posted by: candace at September 8, 2006 8:54 AM

It's not like she's Wonder Woman, y'know ... Now there's a drawn woman.

Posted by: Bill at September 8, 2006 9:05 AM

I was in Starbucks yesterday. I read their little saying on the cup, drank my coffee, and didn't notice the Mermaid. There must be something wrong with me.

Evil was right there in front of me and I missed it.

Posted by: ann adams at September 8, 2006 9:14 AM

Sheesh, does this mean I have to stop taking my 6 year old there for his double shot espresso before he heads to the mall to hang with his homies trolling for chicks? They sure know how to mess up a good thing.

Posted by: Karen at September 8, 2006 9:19 AM

oh man, I have a great marketing idea... get a hot chick to dress up like a mermaid, topless, and hand out coffee samples at the next PTA meeting!

Posted by: krystyn at September 8, 2006 9:37 AM

they just need to start handing out little pasties in school...

Posted by: ali at September 8, 2006 9:54 AM

I am currently holding said cup. And I see no nipples. No real evidence of boobs. Long hair waving around a white hour glass shape. I had to look at it carefully after reading this. I think Becky Hanks is a nut. My eight year old draws pictures like this all the time. How anyone could make it dirty is beyond me.

Posted by: Lisa V at September 8, 2006 10:38 AM

I'm just going to start flashing people to cause anarchy and rebellion. Y'all in?

Posted by: Leah at September 8, 2006 10:51 AM

HA. You are kidding me... no. no you're not.

Holy... what a funny little world we live in.

Posted by: Autumn at September 8, 2006 10:56 AM

Dude, if only I could've been sheltered as a child. No, instead I was witness to tits as far as they could see and look where that's left us today....huh....

Posted by: andy at September 8, 2006 11:31 AM

Boobies are evil. Just ask John Ashcroft. They are why the terrorists are going to win.

Posted by: wendy at September 8, 2006 11:34 AM

I was working at Starbucks, many, many, many years ago, when they chnaged the logo --- reason being that it showed too much "down there". It was a game for us happy employees to see who could keep the offendng cups in circulation the longest. (hey, we were young, bored and serving double-short-non-fat-extra-hot-half-caf-decaf-in-a-grande-cup to annoying self-important yuppies all the live long day ---- we had to do SOMETHING)

Posted by: Kathryn at September 8, 2006 11:39 AM

What happened to being able to appreciate "works of art"? A good cup of coffee and Mermaid Boobies? I mean come on, that's classic art!

Posted by: Maribeth at September 8, 2006 11:58 AM

Hooray for boobies!

Posted by: Alison at September 8, 2006 12:02 PM

So would this be considered a bad thing? ha ha BOOBIE OVERLOAD!

Posted by: VirgoJen at September 8, 2006 12:45 PM

Everybody knows boobies are evil, sinful things, especially that n*pple part.

I mean, how much time got wasted over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction"? And even she had a pasty on, albeit a weird S&M-ish one.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at September 8, 2006 12:54 PM

And the boobies are covered by shells!

(I almost bought a mug yesterday. I liked the colors. *hangs head in shame*)

Posted by: melati at September 8, 2006 12:56 PM

Oh, for the love of Pete. The front page of our newspapers showed a plundered bloody terrorist for weeks. No problem! But, no boobies, please, no.

I like the word, though. Boobies.

Posted by: Kristin at September 8, 2006 12:59 PM

boooobies... my son is only three and already has a fascination, since mommy has very large ones.

ah... the prudish and resolved. may they wither in the shadows, and away from the limelight influencing none but thier own tattered minds.

Posted by: melanie at September 8, 2006 1:02 PM

i am assuming this is Kent Washington. It has to be. It's not that we are prudish here in the PacNW... it's just that we are so DAMN SENSITIVE!! I mean, remember when Puyallup wanted to do away with Halloween parites in the schools because it was OFFENSIVE TO WICCANS?

perhaps in other parts of the country, they woudl find it sinful to have boobies on the cups. but here, we are just worried that the kids would be distracted and made uncomfortable by explicitly sexual images. like the little mermaid.

Posted by: jodi at September 8, 2006 1:03 PM

Hooray for boobies!

Posted by: Allan at September 8, 2006 1:09 PM

Glad I'm in an office full of guys who love boobies as they will love my starbucks cup. Plus, I think that would be the day my boss tells me how to bring my coffee cup to work.

Posted by: DMM at September 8, 2006 1:36 PM

It was my idea.

Yep, I convinced Starbucks to go back to the money shot, the titty cup.

It was I...Evil Genius.

Posted by: Evil Genious at September 8, 2006 1:56 PM

OK, you have elicted 2, not 1, but 2 comments from me today from this post.

1. Boobies? Come on, give me a break. I don't think these teachers are drinking Starbucks in the classroom anyway. To support Boobies, go pledge some money at for the Susan Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

2. This is almost as good as the comment from a mother on last night's NYC newscast equating giving her tweenage daughter new HPV Vaccine as the equivilent of giving her a pap smear. People just miss the point! It prevents CANCER people. They don't have to know that HPV is an STD.

Sorry for going WAY off on a limb here, but the ignorance of people is astonishing.

Posted by: bd at September 8, 2006 2:01 PM

I'm sure they will link the boobies to terrorism some how. And I'm sure if this was a merMAN this wouldn't be an issue. Making the stupid cup an issue is what makes kids distracted by this shit. If the prinicipal wouldn't have said anything I'm sure no one, or no kid for that fact, would notice or give a rats ass. So with that said...VIVA LA BOOBIES!!! (*)(*)

Posted by: Michelle at September 8, 2006 2:09 PM

Well, that's what has mattered around these here parts (at least for the past month). Why not make it a global issue, right!?

Posted by: Kate at September 8, 2006 2:15 PM

She's obviously not gettin' any at home.

Posted by: Tink at September 8, 2006 4:11 PM

Grade school and breasts... fond memories...

I had a teacher who couldn't make the difference between the school and the local bar... My best school year ever!

I am now 30 and I still have those breasts imprinted in my brain... Go away ! Go Away!

Posted by: DavidR at September 8, 2006 4:18 PM

I love that you quoted a Mike Doughty song in your title.

Posted by: Snidget at September 8, 2006 4:41 PM

I'm all out of smart remarks.
It's already too brilliant.

Posted by: s@bd at September 8, 2006 5:15 PM


Posted by: SMIT at September 8, 2006 6:06 PM

Boy, Starbucks must have been the straw that broke the camel's back. It looks like we are all going to hell now!

Posted by: Beth in StL at September 8, 2006 7:11 PM

Oh No! Such indecency, How are we to tolerate it! While we are at it, lets also make Barbie flat chested so when there are naked dolls lying around, the "boobies" wont be a concern!
Looking forward to the porn on coffee cup! :D

Posted by: Dee at September 8, 2006 8:09 PM

I can't imagine that this guy has something better to do with his time, does he?

Posted by: Bethany at September 8, 2006 9:38 PM

Well, like those women who hate mothers who breastfeed in public... YOu never know. Just the sight of a boob might turn a seemingly normal man or boy into a hornylunatic with an uncontrollable urge to hump the closest thing to him! (Making a joke people. Please don't hate me.)

Posted by: Lisa B at September 8, 2006 9:42 PM

Not just boobies but MERMAID boobies. Pretty pornographic, sexually intense stuff!

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at September 8, 2006 10:15 PM

So ridiculous. Kids see worse every day on TV, in movies, or at school. And definitely on MTV. I don't understand why people choose these silly things to try to prove a point.

On another issue, I thought the fact that the sleeves completely cover their new/old art is silly. What's the point of having new art if you can't see it at all under the sleeves. Stupid!

Posted by: DeAnn at September 9, 2006 12:11 AM

Remember when John Ashcroft made the government pay a few thousand bucks to create a drape that would cover the breast of a statue at the Justice Department?

Thank God some people have their priorities straight.

Posted by: Janet at September 9, 2006 12:59 AM

I'm a little incensed, acutally. How does Starbucks have the NERVE to show bare breasts on a coffee cup without considering the Equal Rights Movement?

I demand to-go cups with a depiction of "David"!

Posted by: Cartwheels At Midnight at September 9, 2006 10:04 AM

I wonder if these poor little children will ever be allowed to see any classical art?

Posted by: Heather at September 9, 2006 1:54 PM

Hell even I like the little mermaid boobies. And I'm not real into boobies.

Posted by: Melissa at September 9, 2006 6:24 PM

I can see where getting teachers to stop having sex with their students takes a back seat to this outrage!

How dare they do such a thing? {snicker}

It seems to me that these "decency" people spend a lot of time searching out (and finding) boobies to complain about. I mean, c'mon you never hear any of the pervs screaming, "Hey look boobies at Starbucks, let's go everybody!" Nope, don't even notice it. But these "puritans" somehow spot 'em every time. Maybe if they were seeing some real ones more often then would spend less time staring at green ink drawn versions on coffee cups.

Posted by: Latte Man at September 10, 2006 9:18 PM


Posted by: Brad at September 12, 2006 2:13 PM

I was hoping that maybe Starbucks would ditch the pretentious drink sizes of "tall", "grande", and "venti" and keep the boob thing going by renaming them "A", "B", and "C" cups, and going "DD" for the takeout carafe.

Posted by: Haydn at September 13, 2006 6:32 PM