November 10, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: The Insanely Obvious Edition

It's been another fantastic week for Schadenfreude. Of course, I'm only scratching the surface here since it is, in fact, the Insanely Obvious Edition. Enjoy.

Part I: Gone But Not Forgotten

...from the AP...
After years of defending his secretary of defense,
President Bush on Wednesday announced Donald H. Rumsfeld's resignation within hours of the Democrats' triumph in congressional elections. Bush reached back to his father's administration to tap a former CIA director to run the Pentagon. In brief remarks, Rumsfeld described the Iraq conflict as a "little understood, unfamiliar war" that is "complex for people to comprehend." Upon his return to the Pentagon after appearing with Bush and Gates, Rumsfeld said it was a good time for him to leave.

So, he gets to fuck up a war, keep his job for 6 years and call us stupid on his way out? As I said earlier this week - bye asshat.

Part II: Denise Richards - No Friend to the Differently-Abled

Denise Richards lost it yesterday after seeing two unauthorized photographers on the Canadian set of her movie Blonde and Blonder. She approached them and threw their laptops off the balcony of the hotel, which ended up striking "an 80-year-old women in a wheelchair. It struck her in the arm. She was not interested in pursuing criminal charges and suffered only minor injuries." The Royal Canadian Mounted Police were called in, although no charges have been filed and the movie production company agreed to pay for the damages to the photographers' computers.

I guess this is what happens when you live with Charlie Sheen for too long.

Part III: Fed-Ex

from my buddies at the Beeb (BBC)...
Pop star Britney Spears has filed for divorce from husband Kevin Federline citing "irreconcilable differences". The couple wed in 2004, just months after Spears annulled her marriage to childhood friend Jason Alexander. The singer, 24, will seek custody of the couple's two children, with visiting rights for Federline, 28. The day before divorce papers were filed Spears gave a TV interview but gave no hint of marriage problems. She was later seen ice-skating in New York.

Duh. At least K-Fed his his massive talent to fall back on. Oh...wait...what's this? A review of his debut album in Rolling Stone? And I quote, "K-Fed comes with a debut album that's every inch as bad as you expected." That's whack, yo.

So, who or what did I miss?

Posted by Chris at November 10, 2006 7:13 AM

I wonder who Britney will be seen with next.
And I wonder where we'll see Rumsfeld next.

Posted by: cassie-b at November 10, 2006 7:27 AM

haha I always did love that word... "Schadenfreude" The fact that I can say it properly makes me even happier. :)

Posted by: Debra at November 10, 2006 7:57 AM

Hey, maybe Denise and K-Bleh could hook up! She's fertile, and he loves knocking up dumb chicks. IT's meant to be!

Posted by: Contrary at November 10, 2006 8:07 AM

My respect for Britney Spears went up this week. Well, not that I had any to begin with.

Posted by: Alison at November 10, 2006 8:11 AM

"Mounties investigate Denise Richards laptop throwing incident." Now that's a headline I never thought I'd hear...

Posted by: E :) at November 10, 2006 8:26 AM

How DO you say "Schadenfreude"?--I took French in high school, which is a perfectly appropriate language to learn WHEN YOU LIVE IN A PLACE THAT IS 1/2 HISPANIC. Duh.

I am actually envisioning Brittany and Donald Rummy-fun together. It's almost like that sexual allure that Henry Kissinger used to get chicks.

As for K-fed, I'm envisionins him hooking up with the circus. He could be the "world's tallest dwarf". Or the "world's shortest giant". Or "The Bearded Man". I'm sure you get the picture, though--that's the only place where his appearance would be truly appreciated.

Posted by: kristen at November 10, 2006 8:53 AM

That Rumsfeld quote really gets under my skin. I agree - total asshat.

Was the gay-sex/evangelical pastor scandal last week? I've been busy this week, so I can't remember if it was this past week or last. That's still a good one. Way to trust your biggest secret with a male escort. Obviously he's a very upright, trustworthy person...who spilled your secret to the whole world. I would not want to be that pastor right now; can you imagine what it's like living in his house right now? I don't think I want to.

Posted by: Jessie at November 10, 2006 9:04 AM

You missed the BEST one. *sigh*

Apparently the new Republican line on the loss Tuesday?

They weren't conservative *ENOUGH*

Excuse me while I go over here and laugh so hard I break a rib.

Posted by: autumn at November 10, 2006 9:11 AM

Britney apparently broke up with K-Fed via text message. *snort* She's always been classy like that. :P

You know, he's always got his "acting" career to fall back on. I, for one, would love to see him to repeat his CSI part, where he got punched in the gut by the Nick character. Next time, however, I hope that I get to see him get punched in the face.

I am a mean, mean person.

Posted by: Hope at November 10, 2006 9:16 AM

I've yet to read the review. I've been too busy fondling the pictures of Jon and Stephen to notice any actual content in the magazine.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at November 10, 2006 9:24 AM

I had a few from yesterday that I blogged:

Ed Bradley
SF 49ers leaving SF
K-Fed filing for custoday
Haggard entering rehab
Emmitt Smith curshing Joey Lawrence in dancing with the stars!

Posted by: Johnny "Secondhand" Smoke at November 10, 2006 9:24 AM

Yes, goodbye K-fed or as they said on the tube Fed-Ex!

Posted by: Maribeth at November 10, 2006 9:27 AM

Schadenfreude: SHAdn-froy-dah*. Basically, in German, you pronounce pretty much every letter in the word. Oh, there are a few exceptions, but Germans aren't like those French, just putting in letters they don't even pronounce! The decadence of it all!

*It's hard to write out phonetically. Go to and put the word in. You can listen to the pronunciation.

Posted by: candace at November 10, 2006 9:39 AM

waittaminute... it's friday already! WTF it was just wednesday and the week was crawling, no, limping by. now it's friday!

did you know the moon is still visible in the sky? and yesterday it was 68 degrees... sixty-eight degrees in november in freakin' NH! see... the state goes blue and hell doesn't freeze over, it invades the state! =)

Posted by: monique at November 10, 2006 9:41 AM

Who thinks it is ok to toss other people's belongings off a balcony? I wasn't aware that Denise Richards was the center of the universe.

And while I'm thrilled to see Rummy hit the road, I think I might be just a little more pleased that Santorum got defeated. I cannot stand that man.

Posted by: bad penguin at November 10, 2006 9:59 AM

My question is, why do they have a CIA guy running the Pentagon? Isn't that a job for a more "war"-rouded person? Not someone from the alphabet army. Once again, Bush asking Daddy for advice. Might as well have Dubya Sr. run the show. And good for Brittany. It only took her two children later to figure out the guy was an asshat. Maybe she can hook up with Rumsfeld.

Posted by: Michelle at November 10, 2006 10:12 AM

Rumsfeld is a total asshat. And he can say we are stupid all he wants. Nothing can top the fact that he is a butt ugly asstard.

As for Brit Brit and K-Fed, it's about damn time. Maybe now she will put down her cheetos and step out of the trailer and get back to being hot.

Posted by: Snickrsnack Katie at November 10, 2006 10:15 AM

Asshat...can I borrow that??? Ummm, WTF with Daniel Baldwin stealing a car?? So you're saying your not gonna go get the K-Fed album??? too bad, i was gonna ask you to burn me a copy, hahaha

Posted by: Mad Mom at November 10, 2006 12:11 PM

I'm having daydreams about successful impeachment of the two top guys.

President Pelosi has a nice ring to it.

Posted by: ann adams at November 10, 2006 12:36 PM

I think you covered everything. Wait! Except the Faith Hill crybaby moment, did ya get that? Priceless! Her husband should dump her and come get me like I've been dreaming of. Damn restraining orders!

Posted by: Peggy at November 10, 2006 1:39 PM

Did you hear Fed-Ex is countering her saying he wants full custody. Can you imagine a judge in the US giveing that idiot custody of two babies?

I have another one for you. My state voted a man who can not say California back into his seat as govenor. Beside that, I think you've got it pretty well covered.

Posted by: Melissa at November 10, 2006 3:15 PM

Thank GOD Britney is getting rid of that idiot. I have lost almost all respect for her, and I'm hoping she'll do something dramatic to get back on the radar.

Posted by: Dirka at November 10, 2006 3:33 PM

I nearly spewed my coffee all over my monitor when I read that K-Fed was filing for custody. As if anybody in the world doesn't know he did it just to get some cash from Brits on the way out.

"Debuted at Number 151 on the Billboad 200"
(And I guarantee it only goes down from there)

DumsFeld, what can I say about the a buffoon that has the balls to be arrogant? I think he is just pissed he didn't get a promotion and Medal from the President just like every other screw up in the administration.

Posted by: Latte Man at November 10, 2006 8:44 PM

It's funny that K-Fed is filing for custody when he didn't want his first 2 kids. I guess these 2 probably hold a lot more value for him. What a jerk.

Denise Richards should appreciate the paparazzi a lot more, she'd have no career without them. She's not nice.

Posted by: Nila at November 10, 2006 9:38 PM

1. I blame Bush completely for the Rumfeld debacle. I think Rummy tried to resign something like three times before but Dubya was determined to "stay the course." But yeah, Rummy's still an asshat.

2. Denise Richards is still famous enough to get paparazzi? Who knew?

3. I really feel like I have wasted too much of my life reading about Britney. Why is it that so many of our young female celebrities are just plain trash?

Posted by: Beth in StL at November 10, 2006 10:12 PM

You know who you missed? The evangelical preacher, Ted Haggard, who got fired when his gay lover/drug connection outed him. But Rumsfeld was just so obviously the pick of the week.

Posted by: Annie at November 11, 2006 3:37 PM

I just wanted to drop you a line to give you my new blog address (formerly and tell you to keep up the great writing. You have to be a member of myspace and add me as a friend to view it.

I looked at Mia's recent photos on Flickr... adorable! :-)

Posted by: Jess at November 12, 2006 2:56 AM

Wait just a damn minute. The PRODUCTION company is going to pay for damages to the laptops and not the talentless bitch who heaved them over the balcony? That just makes me sick...but not really surprised.

Posted by: wordgirl at November 12, 2006 9:41 PM

I love it when people use the word just makes my day.

Posted by: Brie at November 12, 2006 10:24 PM

I'm sad that K-Fed will be out of the spotlight because I think he fits in wrestling, where he has been hanging out the past few weeks. He is uber-hated, and I like seeing him get whacked in the head with a steel chair.

Actually, I'd like to see Rumsfield whacked in the head with a chair too. Bush too.

Ah why not... Denise Richards too.

Posted by: UrbanDaddy at November 12, 2006 11:20 PM

K-Fed and Denise hooking up. That's pretty funny Contrary. Wow. What if they teamed up for a romantic movie. Gah!

Posted by: Lisa B at November 13, 2006 12:53 AM

I didn't read the comments, but I assume someone mentioned Faith Hill? What was the all about?

As Schadenfreude Fridays.

Posted by: Isabel at November 13, 2006 3:13 PM

I cannot believe that happened to Denise. It's kind of funny. Poor old lady, though...

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