November 21, 2006

X-Rays, Stat!

I was visiting a client yesterday, putting together a briefing with a coworker when I got a call from Beth on my cell.

Me: Hey, what's up?
Her: Don't worry. Everyone's fine.
Me: Okay. What's wrong?
Her: Well, Mia got her first x-rays this morning.

Now, first, it is reassuring to hear that everyone's fine right out of the gate. I - as someone who would, more likely than not, freak the fuck out - appreciate that. It's nice to know how the conversation ends before it really gets started but it's a great big clue that, between the time you and the person telling you everyone is fine last spoke, some evil shit went down. As it turns out, it wasn't too evil - Mia's little left hand got caught in a closing door. My informant told me there was a great deal of screaming. I have no reason to disbelieve that. The x-rays - all six of them, for the record - revealed nothing. Ointment and bandaids were applied. But Beth's emotional scarring, well, that's more than just a flesh wound.

During the course of the call, it became clear that Beth was more damaged by the events that unfolded yesterday morning than Mia. She felt bad, and responsible and asked me more than once if I was planning on firing her from her job as mom. And of course I said I wasn't.

Like life in general, accidents happen. Scrapes and bruises turn up but eventually they fade. With any luck, we're left with the smiles and laughter with which we began the day. Not to mention those who love us, cry when we cry, laugh when we laugh and take care of us when we need to be cared for. That's all any of us really need.

Somewhat medically-related post-script: I'd like to get a message to the producers and writers of Grey's Anatomy and, well, Hollywood in general. In the future, please refrain from casting cute little girls with severe medical emergencies and naming their characters Mia. Good episode and all but I kinda felt like the cast and crew were standing directly on my private parts while punching me in the stomach.

Posted by Chris at November 21, 2006 7:21 AM
Comments

Oh wow! If Beth posts about it, she will get a zillion comments telling her it's happened to all of us.

She'll still be unglued of course but it's the truth. We can't protect them from everything and I'm glad Mia is okay.

Posted by: ann adams at November 21, 2006 7:35 AM

If Beth does post about it (and I think we should all start our comments this way), I'm gonna tell her how my youngest wore his first band-aid at the tender age of one week, because Mommy wasn't proficient with the little baby nail clippers.

God, I still feel guilty four years later.

Posted by: Contrary at November 21, 2006 7:39 AM

Aw, poor Beth! I can only imagine that, as a parent, that'd be tough.

Posted by: Emily at November 21, 2006 7:51 AM

DH caught Drew's hand in the truck door just this past July. He's 5, but still... The black parts on the 3 fingernails that were damaged just now grew out, and there's still a scar on one finger.

Poor Mia, and poor Beth! And, well, poor you. How on earth did she manage to wait and call you AFTER the x-rays? I'd have been on the phone immediately in a panic--kudos to her for good thinking not to worry you.

Posted by: Alissa at November 21, 2006 7:51 AM

If Beth does post about this, I have a story to make her feel better. Glad Mia is ok! I feel ya on the name thing...my son is Connor...have you seen Nip/Tuck this season?

Posted by: Lisa at November 21, 2006 7:54 AM

I can still cry on command thinking about Noodle's first visit to the ER and how I was completely to blame for it (5 years later). And the sound of her hitting her head against the cement makes me nauseous. I can still hear it in my head. I am going to be ill.

Posted by: Arwen at November 21, 2006 7:56 AM

Wow, poor Mia! But, why the heck would they take 6 x-ray views of a toddler's HAND? That sounds a little overboard to me (they shouldn't need more than 2!!). But, keep an eye on her. Although little kids bones are so spongy and pliable at that age and fractures are rare, usually they don't show up on an x-ray until 7-10 days AFTER the trauma. If you suspect something's wrong with her wrist/hand in a week, just take her back to the pediatrician and have 'em check her with a tuning fork to see if a fracture may exist...no need for 6 MORE x-rays!

Posted by: Dolly at November 21, 2006 8:07 AM

I am glad they are both okay and the truth is Mia will get over it quicker than Beth.

Posted by: William at November 21, 2006 8:09 AM

Glad everyone is OK. And don't forget the saying "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". I don't think the situation was that severe, but it's still a good reminder how resilient we can be sometimes. :)

Posted by: Michelle at November 21, 2006 8:10 AM

Glad to know that Mia is OK. Beth alluded to something happening yesterday, and I wondered what it was.

It's difficult to protect them all the time. And sometimes, even when you're paying the closest attention possible, they do something that you cannot stop and they get hurt.

Chances are, if Beth could look at the event logically for just a moment (a damn near impossible task, I am painfully aware) she would see that there really wasn't anything she could have done. I mean, it's not like she held Mia's hand in place while she closed the door; it was an unintentional event... an accident.

Posted by: Jeff at November 21, 2006 8:12 AM

I'd be more concerned about you both if the "guilt" element did not rear it's ugly head. As a health care worker I'd like to say that I'd rather have the talk the concerned parents off the ledge scenario versus the parents who are too busy to be bothered.

It happens, Mia is surrounded by love. Here is wishing that nothng worse than that will ever happen.

I am dialing the producers of Grey's Anatomy right now!

Posted by: Wicked H at November 21, 2006 8:18 AM

Poor Beth! I'm glad Mia is fine though. And just to let you know, I'm a Grey's Anatomy fanatic, and the whole time I was watching that episode I was thinking about you and Beth and Mia. I wondered if you watched it or not.

Posted by: Heather at November 21, 2006 8:22 AM

I'm glad everyone's at least semi-okay. I can understand what Beth's going through as I once slammed my brother's hand in the hinge side of the door and almost removed one of his fingers in the process. Oh,and then there was that time I handed him a shovel and he dropped it on his big toe, almost severing it. Wow, I'm thinking my little brother was lucky to make it through with all limbs and appendages attached.

Posted by: Jessie at November 21, 2006 8:36 AM

the opening line, "Don't worry. Everyone's fine." was such a good way to start that conversation.

I'm glad everything turned out OK.

Cas

Posted by: cassie-b at November 21, 2006 8:39 AM

Yeah, my husband is good at the "don't worry, everything is fine" line too, but usually he's referring to another death-defying accident of his own.

Poor Beth. I told her not to cry because then it would make me cry, so there. And I am WITH YOU on the Grey's Anatomy thing! Also, just with children being hurt in general on TV shows. Rip my heart out, people!

Posted by: samantha at November 21, 2006 8:52 AM

Speaking as a mother of a grown daughter and the wife of a husband the freaks out in situations as well...I'd say Beth did the right thing in waiting until "after" everything was taken care of to call you. Unfortunately there will be many, many more such incidents in Mia's future.

Tell Beth that hopefully she won't have the story to tell of her daughter breaking both her arms and then starting her period for the very first time the very next day all while you have to a very important conference to run starting that day as well...awwww...life is good and I sometimes even miss those days. You know...that was a rough summer for my daughter...broken arms, periods, ER for a splinter under her nail, glasses for the first time and braces. How she was brave enough to start 6th grade I'll never know. ;)

Posted by: daisy at November 21, 2006 8:55 AM

Whoa. Glad Mia's okay. I once saw a kid get her hand caught in a car trunk and it was Not. Pretty.

Again, glad it wasn't any worse (although I'm sure it was bad enough for you!) and Mia's okay.

Posted by: Fraulein N at November 21, 2006 8:56 AM

Parent guilt is the hardest thing to resolve yourself to. Stupid things are going to happen, but while the rational mind can accept that, the Insane Mommy Brain (feel free to replace Daddy in there too) as I refer to it never lets you forget things.

Posted by: amber at November 21, 2006 9:00 AM

I'm proud of Beth! I would have called my husband and made him come to the hospital with me. x-rays of a toddler, I can't imagine how that ever worked.

Posted by: jodi at November 21, 2006 9:02 AM

Ohhhhh. Poor Beth. And Mia too. Glad Mia is fine, and in time Beth will recover. Still it is so hard when the first accident like that happens. In my case it was Mandy climbing a gate, falling and needing stitches! Yikes, sob,tears etc. (all mine!) She will be 30 next month and I have finally gotten over that.

Posted by: Maribeth at November 21, 2006 9:03 AM

same thing happened to me as a child, except my evil brother was the one doing the door slamming. figures. no broken bones here either, but my mother said my hand was flat for a few days. haha.

Posted by: cmhl at November 21, 2006 9:05 AM

I'm glad that everyone is ok! It could have been worse... my mom (accidentally) slammed the car door on my sister's *head* when she was younger. She's in grad school now, so apparently there were no long term effects.

Posted by: Hope at November 21, 2006 9:11 AM

i'm crying for Beth right now.
i remember the first inury with Emily. i was DEVASTATED. now...three kids later...i'm a pro.

Posted by: ali at November 21, 2006 9:27 AM

At least you can rest easy in knowing that it's over. They probably won't repeat the name, let alone the name / character type combination - ever. :)

Posted by: Adam at November 21, 2006 9:30 AM

I'm glad Mia is ok. I'm sorry Beth is upset, but from what I can tell, she's a damn fine mom and this is just one of the harder parts of being a damn fine mom.

Oh, and if Grey's Anatomy has another sick little girl on there I might not watch it. I don't care what her name is. The only people allowed to be sick are jerks and old people. The End.

Posted by: Brad at November 21, 2006 10:13 AM

I read a hint of this on Beth's blog yesterday, so thanks for filling in the gaps. Accidents happen. It does feel awful when you're "responsible" (hello? my daughter rolled off a bed when she was three months old. Three month-olds are NOT supposed to do that), but as you said, the parent is more damaged than the kid.

It's just another first for you in this journey we call parenthood. :)

Posted by: Alison at November 21, 2006 10:16 AM

OK, so I will skip the whole "we all have been there" speech, and cut to your footnote.

There was an espisode of CSI where the missing daughter was the same age, description and name as my daughter. I love the show, I have every show from every season on DVD. I can not watch the episode again. EVER.

I used to think I was immune to such "silly" things and left that for being a "woman's issue"... yeah, uh... not so much any more.

So, if said Hollywood writer types could add Cassie to that list with Mia of names not to use... It would be greatly appreciated.

Posted by: Latte Man at November 21, 2006 11:13 AM

Now your informant, who is it? Tell me, don't make me torture you! We have ways of making you talk! Someone get the testicle puller please!

I sooo thought of you thursday nite!!!

Well I think Beth will be ok in time! lol After much shopping therapy she should bounce right back. Its funny though how she won't post about what ACTUALLY happened! LOL Poor baby, poor mommy!

Posted by: CJ at November 21, 2006 11:14 AM

Chris, I just posted a picture of Meredith puking! Will that help???

Posted by: andy at November 21, 2006 11:35 AM

So true - it's happened to all of us. My mom couldn't figure out why the car door wouldn't close one day - turns out it's because my hand was stuck in part of it. She felt so bad trying to keep closing it. I think it's a motherhood rite of passage.
Hugs for you all!

Posted by: Traci at November 21, 2006 12:06 PM

Here are the good things to come out of it all: Mia knows that her mommy loves her very much to make sure her physical health taken care of immediately...Mommy knows how to handle emergency situations...Daddy can rest assured that his girls can take care of stuff! Did they give Mia a "treat" to make her feel better?

My brother used to get "lost" in Kings Island and at Cedar Point EVERY year...then we found out why. They gave him a popsicle to comfort him until mom and dad could be located.

Posted by: kristen at November 21, 2006 12:06 PM

Well, it could have been worse. My dad threw me up in the air when I was about one and accidentally dropped me on the way down. Maybe that explains a lot ........

Posted by: Heather at November 21, 2006 2:05 PM

I'm glad you posted what happened, and very glad to know that everyone is fine.

Posted by: Heather at November 21, 2006 2:29 PM

I am glad Mia and Beth are fine!
Cheers!

Posted by: Sonia at November 21, 2006 2:31 PM

Poor Beth. I read what she wrote and I completly understand. That's the suckiest thing, knowing they are in pain and you caused it. Poor baby hand. Give her and Beth hugs from the internet, okay?

I actually thought of you guys when that episode came on last week. I felt the same way. Couldn't they call these kids names of people we don't know?

Posted by: Melissa at November 21, 2006 3:18 PM

Must've been a day for kid injuries. My son sprained his pinky last night. Poor kid looks kinda like the Penquin from Batman now with two fingers bandaged together. Hope Mia's hand feels better :)

Posted by: Mary at November 21, 2006 3:19 PM

ooh...poor baby. And Mia :). I still remember when my Mom was pushing my sister on her tricycle and wondering why it wouldn't "go". Of course with my sister's big toe in the spokes (barefoot!!) it couldn't go anywhere. My sister still has very interesting spiral scars on her toe. And my Mom still winces when the story is told - 30+ years later ;) Anyway - hope all is well and calm!

Posted by: Sue at November 21, 2006 4:35 PM

Awww. Poor baby!!

And poor Beth! I was going to email and aske what happened yesterday after I popped my head in over at the Fish's.

But yep. Brace yourself. There will be more of these. The toughest one? Your baby girl's first real heartbreak. That'll be a mother of all boo boos.

Posted by: oakely at November 21, 2006 4:53 PM

So glad Mia's OK!

And also, Grey's Anatomy should know better! (I don't watch it, though; I think I'm the only one in the world.)

Posted by: DeAnn at November 21, 2006 5:02 PM

Ouch. Hope she's feeling better.

My little L.A. Toddler has this nasty habit of wanting to close doors and drawers way to hard and way too fast. It scares the living shit out of me everytime she does it. But she just giggles and does it again. Yeah, I do discipline her for it, but... man, she loves to slam things hard.

I know, one of these days, when I'm not looking, she's going to slam something just right and lop off a finger. I just know it. Ugh.

Of course, I just had a motorcycle accident and I'm trying to show her what can happen when you're being an idiot... but she's not getting it. The apple sho' don't fall far, do it?

Posted by: L.A. Daddy at November 21, 2006 7:31 PM

I'm glad Mia's A-Ok! Poor baby, I can only imagine how much she must've cried. And Beth? Wow, I'm sure she is scarred forever!

Posted by: Dee at November 21, 2006 9:51 PM

uch. Poor Beth. I'm so glad Mia's okay. I hope Beth isn't so hard on herself anymore. If it's any consolation, the monkey dove off our bed head first -- when I was RIGHT THERE sitting in front of her; I caught her mid flight around the waist, but not far enough away from the bed to prevent her from smashing into the bed base. She screamed and got a red mark on her eyebrow. I told Beth this, too. I was calm about it, but I felt guilty and afraid because it could have been so much worse.

Posted by: Haley-O at November 21, 2006 11:35 PM

It's hard when they get hurt, it's worse when we feel like we caused it.


AND, I creepily thought of you guys during that episode, and then I felt all stalker like.

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at November 22, 2006 8:33 AM

I've got all the other stories beat. When I was 6 and my little sister was 3, my mom accidentally slammed the front door on my sister's fingers. She was behind my mom with her fingers in the hinge part of the very heavy door that needed to be slammed closed because it didn't fit the frame properly. Long story short, we all ended up going to the hospital with my sister's four detached fingers packed in ice. Even though mom was a nurse she freaked out considerably and still doesn't like to talk about it 20 years later. Fingers were reattached and story is told often around the holiday table much to mom's chagrin.

Posted by: Jenn Benn at November 22, 2006 11:08 AM

Yikes!! I'm so glad she's okay. I have never slammed my fingers in any doors ever, and I hope fervently that Kira never does it either. I don't think I do well in a crisis situation so I'd have been panicking and blubbering and on the phone with 911. LOL.

Posted by: e at November 22, 2006 6:35 PM

I can still see my son's bowed arm. Yeah, an arm's not supposed to be bowed, but that's how it looked after he broke it, the first week of kindergarten. I still cringe when I think of how his arm looked. It is scarring. And crap happens, so I try not to stress to much. You can always guarantee that there will be more such type adventures.

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I can remember that guilt.

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