January 26, 2007

Schadenfreude Friday: Let's All Go To Rehab!

One thing you can count on in this world - besides death, taxes and Paris Hilton being a skank - is the stupidity of your fellow man. I'm happy to report that this week was no exception.

Isaiah Washington, who does the healing as a doctor on "Grey's Anatomy," is the patient now. He's in therapy for his use of an anti-gay slur against a castmate. Washington took a break from filming Tuesday to meet with gay rights activists and offer help in educating the public about the cruelty of such words, an offer the activists called sincere. Whether Washington was receiving outpatient counseling or had entered a facility was not specified, and the statement did not indicate whether he would miss work on the show.

It was during an on-set quarrel last October with co-star Patrick Dempsey that Washington reportedly used the slur about Knight, who was not present. Although Washington apologized publicly at the time, the issue boiled up again at the Jan. 15 Golden Globes when he denied using the epithet.

If there's any single lesson we've learned from celebrities over the last year or so it's this. Fuck up? Enter rehab. Problem solved. If you have a pesky problem you want to make disappear? Find your local alcohol/drug/sex/homophobia/racist/idiot recovery center, fork up some major dough, and you too can be saved. As for the show? Kill off Dr. McHomophoby stat! Just don't replace him with, uh, Michael Richards.

New Schadenfreude Low Of The Week: Not even burger flippers want to be associated with K-Fed.

The "So What's Next" Schadenfreude: Anne Heche is back on the market. Transvestites and gender-confused dwarfs jockey for position.

Dead Guitarist Sell-Out Schadenfreude: Stay awake in that crosstown traffic, foxy lady! Hendrix energy drink is on the way.

Posted by Chris at January 26, 2007 6:51 AM

I'm probably not the first person to have noticed this, but Isaiah Washington is kind of an asshat.

I actually like Anne Heche, as a performer. She's got that cool, quirky, cute thing going on.

Posted by: Contrary at January 26, 2007 7:42 AM

"...fork up some major dough, and you too can be saved." I knew there was a reason I wanted to finish my thesis and get my damn degree already! Oh, wait, that's supposed to be so I can make a difference in the world. ;-) Thanks for the reminder that it can be lucrative too!

As for AH...well, I like Men in Trees so much that I had kinda forgotten that she's a bit of a nut job.

Posted by: Jaycie at January 26, 2007 8:23 AM

I have a solution for the Asshat Virus that seems to be sweeping Hollywood. Hey, celebrities? Stop talking. Seriously, unless it's about your TV show/latest movie/new album, just ... don't, okay?

I can't tell you how tired I am of these bigmouth asshats trying to deflect attention from their own bad behavior by "educating" us on how bad these words and actions are. Thanks, but WE aren't the ones with the problem. Mssrs. Gibson, Richards, Washington et. al. need to shut it.

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 26, 2007 9:15 AM

Ah yes, therapy, solves everything doesn't it? And a little late, but loved the Self-Control post.

Posted by: Heather at January 26, 2007 9:29 AM

The F-word is equally deplorable as the N-word. Think about that Mr. Washington.

Had anyone thrown the N bomb at him, there would be no discussion.


Posted by: Wicked H at January 26, 2007 9:58 AM

Washington's gotta be kicking himself all over the place of taking the shine off of his newfound GA celebrity by revealing to the world his own brand of bigotry. I didn't know you could check yourself into rehab for being an ignoramus. Gosh...do Bush and Cheney know about this? I mean...after making a constitutional amendment that discriminates against gays, I'm wondering if they couldn't use a week or two in "the joint".

Posted by: wordgirl at January 26, 2007 9:59 AM

Ummm...I have dry skin and tend to cry too much. Plus, three cats. Can I go to rehab for that?

Seriously - I'm not sure that any kind of rehab can "cure" someone of deeply-ingrained prejudices and stupidity. Perhaps a kick in the ass would be more effective. Or having one's jaw wired shut.

Posted by: fw sunshine at January 26, 2007 10:28 AM

My house is a mess! I would like to formally apologize to Martha Stewart, the members of the cleaning community and good housekeepers everywhere; I will be entering rehab this afternoon. Expect a tearful interview with People in 6 weeks, warning others of the dangers of in"adequite" tidying.

It sounded to me like it was already too late for the transvestites and gender-confused dwarfs.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at January 26, 2007 10:29 AM

I've been sitting here trying to think of something sensible to say. Nope, it's hopeless.

Have a great weekend, the 3 of you.

Posted by: ann adams at January 26, 2007 10:34 AM

There's a comedian who does a song called 'There's no 12-Step for Stupid'. It's pretty awesome and it's the first thing I thought when I started reading your post. Stupid celebrities.

Posted by: candace at January 26, 2007 10:39 AM

I had no idea there was such a thing as asshat rehab. And it just feels so fake that he is going now because people are paying attention.

Posted by: bad penguin at January 26, 2007 10:41 AM

I dont know, but doesnt Isiah Washington have that arrogant looking begging to be punched face?? His comments are terrible. they should get rid of him. oh and Anne Heche is annoying too. I dont know what it is today, but everyone is annoying!

Posted by: mad mom at January 26, 2007 10:46 AM

Aw, HELL no, bitches. Isaiah Washington is totally awesome, and you cannot make me think otherwise. Not gonna happen. I don't care how fruity it is, but I love that damn show and if you take him away---not half as good. What would sandra oh DO?!? Hell no.

Like you people never did anything stupid...I do stupider stuff on a damned daily basis.

(that 'gay' rehab stuff sure is weird, though...)

Posted by: andy at January 26, 2007 10:52 AM

funny story about anne heche.

in ny we saw a big poster for "jenna loves justin" as in jenna jameson. who my husband loves. so, he downloaded it to see what it was. when i was checking on the status i saw he had downloaded two things. the jenna thing and something anne heche.

i was all panicked...ew...my husband has a thing for anne heche??!! how creepy and twisted. turns out it was a stephen king book he wanted to put on his ipod and she was reading the book. whew.

Posted by: ali at January 26, 2007 11:01 AM

Look at the fallout from when Michael Richards used the N-word. Why wasn't there the same kind of fallout when Washington used the F-word? Because apparently in our society it's still "okay" to discriminate against homosexuals. Maybe I have unrealistic Utopian dreams, but why-oh-why can't we all just get along and accept each other the way we are?

Posted by: Beth in StL at January 26, 2007 11:41 AM

I really think it is laughable that someone is going to go for therapy for being racist/homophobe/whatever. To me, that is a part of their person, what they were told as children, what they believe as an adult to be true.
My uncle uses language that he knows he had better not say in front of me, and there is no rehab center in the world that would change his inner (crappy) belief system. They can learn not to say these things in public, but I don't believe they can learn to be more open-minded. I wish I did believe they could.

Posted by: angela marie at January 26, 2007 12:47 PM

(hmmmmm what if I'm an evil spambot that just so happens to preface all spammage with the supersecret keyword you have so chosen??)

And oooooooooooh K-Fed (aka Fed-EX), how can you not just CRINGE everytime you see, hear or THINK of him (which for your sake I hope is not all that often)?

I mean really... isn't it more respectable to just be a straight-on parasite?

Posted by: KT at January 26, 2007 1:02 PM

I wonder what would happen if you mixed Hendrix energy drink with Hendrix vodka...
Purple Haze, indeed.

Posted by: smoness at January 26, 2007 1:43 PM

I'm still in awe that Anne Heche and her soon-to-be-ex named their son HOMER. Ugh. That name should have died with the airing of Simpsons.

Posted by: Tink at January 26, 2007 4:14 PM

but what about Christine?

Posted by: jodi at January 26, 2007 7:48 PM

Hey just wanted to tell you that Jay Leno is totally stealing your bit. He said practically the same thing on his show last night about Mr. Wasington. I was like, 'hey, Chris talked about that already!" And he didn't even give you your props. So wrong.

Posted by: Kate at January 27, 2007 11:54 AM

I think all celebrities should stop holding press conferences when they fuck up, too. Seriously, they just make things worse. What the celebs SHOULD do is cringe in their homes hiding for a few days, maybe wring out a tear or two, all the while taping their misery hiding from paparazzi every time they fuck up. Then they should post the video on YouTube and we, their loving audience, can vote on whether their contrite misery was sincere and authentic. If we don't find them convincing... their pay scales go down!

I'm sure producers would agree to this solution.

Posted by: the weirdgirl at January 28, 2007 5:19 PM