January 4, 2007

My Non-Resolution Resolution For 2007

For the past several years, I've avoided making resolutions. Because I invariably fail at them. Like the promise I made to myself to join a gym a few years back? Lunacy. I joined. I forked over a nice big chunk of my paycheck. But did I ever go? Nope. Apparently you have to visit the gym to realize the full health benefits. Then there was the year I made a resolution to have a new experience everyday. When I found myself satisfied that channel surfing backwards was, indeed, a new experience, I realized that I'd lost sight of the bigger picture.

Some of it has to do with willpower. Or a lack thereof. The only things that I do on a regular basis that take any sort of mind over matter mastery are showing up for work (which is a no-brainer since I don't want my family to live in a box under a freeway overpass), blogging (which I didn't originally expect to last more than a week), and not smoking. There's also the bit about avoiding going off on a full scale rampage attacking stupid people with a ball-peen hammer (why does one need to hammer ball-peens and what exactly are they), but I keep that impulse in check. As a result of this, what I'm getting at here is that one of the things I don't do very well is keep myself healthy.

I don't eat meat. Figurative brownie points for sure but a little cow never killed anyone. Vegetables? Check. But also sugar. And ice cream. And I stop at Dunkin Donuts five mornings a week. There's no way that can be good, right? During the day yesterday, and not inclusive of the vegetable-filled dinner I consumed last night which was wholesome and tasty, I ingested the following crap:

  • 2 glazed donuts (the nice old Chinese DD lady, who is actually a psycho based on the bumper stickers on her car, actually gave me three donuts but I used my discretion and gave away the third. I'm positive she's a Chinese assassin sent here to kill off American capitalist heathens with donut overconsumption. In which case, she's a very patient Chinese assassin.)
  • 1 20-ounce cup of coffee (this is non-negotiable...you take away my coffee and I'll cut you)
  • 1 2-ounce bag pretzels
  • 1 20-ounce Sprite
  • 1 1.74-ounce bag peanut M&Ms

How do I not weigh 3,296 pounds? How am I not the circus freak The Amazing Chris - Blogger Big Enough To Have His Own Gravitational Field? How am I still upright? These and other mysteries (Jimmy Hoffa, the Bermuda Triangle, the exact rules of cricket, countries in which midget tossing is legal) have yet to be solved. I do know this - I need to get my shit together, health-wise at least.

To that end I share with you the following non-resolution resolutions that I will try to follow in 2007:

  • Dunkin Donuts will see me every morning, but only for coffee.
  • I will, despite my great fear that results will be met with a diagnosis consisting of the words "oh fuck", make an appointment for a physical, even through turning my head and coughing will most definitely be involved.
  • I will do my damnedest to find some sort of physical activity which neither puts me in the hospital nor bores me out of my gourd.

So, uh, help. Suggestions? I need guidance, people. And a snack. You don't happen to have a donut on you, do you?

Posted by Chris at January 4, 2007 7:13 AM
Comments

It's early and I haven't had enough coffee yet, so I apologize for delurking and possibly missing some sarcasm or hyperbole...
A 'peen' is just the end of the hammer.

I would hate to see what a "ball-peen" looks like if it were something else.

It makes me cringe a bit to think about.

Posted by: jason at January 4, 2007 7:53 AM

Snack suggestion. Sunflower seeds, in the shell. I go through a bag a week. Sure you have to spit out the shells but it works for me.

As far as physical excercise, I need more as well and I have not come up with anything. Sorry.

Posted by: William at January 4, 2007 7:58 AM

Pretzels are a fine snack. Really. I wouldn't cut out the pretzels. As for exercise? Grab your camera and take a hike. You may not go fast, but I find I'll wander far without realizing it if I'm caught up in the camera. The you have to get home somehow... It works well if you have friends with a farm that's 200+ acres, like I do, or a very large state park nearby.

Posted by: Alissa at January 4, 2007 8:05 AM

"How am I not the circus freak ... How am I still upright?"

Heh heh. I've often wondered that about myself!

My assvice is figure out the minimum you have to do (three half-hours a week?), try to figure a way to do it either at work (do they have a gym?) or at home (buy a treadmill and a weight bench?), and set a time to do it (before or after work, or just after Mia goes to bed). I never had luck scheduling workouts on the weekend, and going to the gym makes the whole endeaver take way more time. Then on the weekend just get out with the family, hiking, ice skating, biking, skiing ... or just walking.

Good luck!

Posted by: Kris at January 4, 2007 8:35 AM

I'd suggest buying a good travel mug and making your coffee at home so you aren't tempted to buy donuts at DD. Find a local roaster and try their coffees - I promise it will be better than whatever you drink daily. (It's even better if you grind your own beans at home. Can you tell I'm a coffee snob?)

Posted by: Jessie at January 4, 2007 8:38 AM

Allow yourself to have the doughnuts once each week, and then on Doughnut Day get yourself from Here to There by doing cartwheels. No walking allowed (unless you're one of those gymnasts who need a little speed going into the cartwheel).

Doughnuts and Cartwheels! (Incidentally, I believe it's also a decent name for a band.)

Posted by: Angie at January 4, 2007 8:41 AM

I could go without donuts, but finding an interesting excercise would be near impossible for me.

How about raquet ball? You could vent your frustration at not being able to beat people who have the gallping stupids.

Posted by: mdv at January 4, 2007 8:46 AM

Anything from walking (camera in-hand?) to raquetball is great, if you can make a schedule for it.... like every Tuesday and Thursday, no exceptions... or something to that effect.

Posted by: Brad at January 4, 2007 9:08 AM

I think Jessie's suggestion for avoiding the temptation of donuts is great. If it's the taste of Dunkin Donuts coffee you're after, don't they sell coffee you can make yourself at home? I think I remember seeing that advertised.

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 4, 2007 9:14 AM

Doughnuts are full of evil artery-clogging fat! Muffins are much better for you. ;)

I agree with whoever said to make your coffee at home and take it along with you. Not only faster and tastier, but would probably save some decent bucks too.

As for exercise, I'm no help there. I've never found an exercise routine or program that was interesting. Just run around with Mia and have fun.

Posted by: Traci at January 4, 2007 9:19 AM

How about joining some sort of sports team? I play ultimate frisbee, which is a lot of fun and is usually played by some of the nicest people that you will ever meet. It's also *incredibly* physical, so if you're not used to running around, you might feel a little bit like you kindof want to die the first few times you play.

There also seems to be a resurgence these days of us grownups playing the sports that we used to play when we were kids. I don't know about DC in particular, but you can probably find a competitive whiffle ball or kickball league. That would get you outside and running *and* provide some excellent blog fodder! Because, honestly, what's more funny than grown up people playing kickball?

Posted by: Hope at January 4, 2007 9:21 AM

Ah, so you are one of those people....jerk;). I have the same issues with eating poorly (though pregnancy is a good motivator to change, at least temporarily) but my body lets me know it with weight gain.

My husband and I have thought about a jogging stroller, and maybe that would work for you, too. Seems like Mia would be the kind of girl that would enjoy one. You and Beth could switch off jogging her over to the park and maybe doing a couple laps around the playground before you let her out to explore. It is somewhat more challenging to think of exercising after children due to time constraints, so it seems that anything you can do all together would help.

If you have a Trader Joe's near by and a severe sweet tooth, I recommend their unsweetened mango slices. It's not really a donut, but it's something.

Posted by: kim at January 4, 2007 9:22 AM

Let’s see, for a snack suggestion - Pita chips! I love love love those things. I hated them at first but I started slow with the cinnamon sugar flavor and then eventually moved down to plain (because cinnamon sugar defeats the purpose in a way)!

Oh, and drink water! Lots of water! It sounds cliché but it does help me with the snacking thing.

I also agree with what Angie said, allow yourself a doughnut day once a week. I found that the more I kept myself from having something the more often I would cave and end up binging.

Good luck!

Posted by: Colleen at January 4, 2007 9:23 AM

Shows what I know about hammers, I always thought it was ball-ping. Because it makes a "ping" when you hit the nail with the ball of the hammer.

Good luck with the getting healthier. It's awfully hard to do when you don't want to sacrifice quality time with the family. If you settle on something, let the rest of us know.

Posted by: anna at January 4, 2007 9:24 AM

How about doing jumping jacks as your own home brewed coffee drips into the caraffe until you hear the timer on the oven sound to let you know your own homemade baked pita chips are warm and crispy?

I try to find the least intrusive ways to accomplish some semblence of a diet and exercise program: non-fat latte, half a bagel plain, and exercises from a book called something like "8 minutes in the morning" or some such thing (that has no-equipment exercises featuring a cute, but slightly "chubby" blonde girl--LIKE ME).

Posted by: kristen at January 4, 2007 9:42 AM

I'm back from the two-family-Christmas-tour, and I stepped on the scale yesterday. Didn't know if I should laugh or cry. (I decided to laugh but threw away all the chocoloate in the house.) Apparently eating fudge six times a day does not keep you skinny. So we're having a salad/no soda week here.

Pretzels are okay. Bring a few pieces of fruit to work instead, so you'll get a sweet fix without the candy. And. Dude. Let yourself have a donut once a week. Happy Friday, have a donut! I lost 30 pounds a few years ago, and letting myself have a treat once a week kept me sane. I still (mostly) stick to that general idea, and the weight has stayed off (except for those pesky Christmas fudge pounds). You don't need to lose weight, but I think the principle is sound. And I think taking walks with Mia and Beth on a regular basis would be fun and physically/mentally healthy for everybody.

Posted by: kara marie at January 4, 2007 9:44 AM

Good luck with the new healthier you this year!


At least when you turn you head and cough, your legs are not apart and up in stirrups. When that happens, they I'll feel your pain.

:)

Posted by: Jenn at January 4, 2007 9:44 AM

Oh God, resolutions. As I type this I'm avoiding starting the rowing machine "new exercise" routine I promised I would do after I recovered from New Year's Eve. Well, let's see, it's the 4th now and I have yet to do any exercise at all. Shit.

Posted by: Heather at January 4, 2007 9:48 AM

You are talking to someone who waited until they were diagnosed this Nov. with chronic bronchitis, to get herself into a gym. So far I still can't breathe well, and everything hurts like hell, but they say in time, I may live.
Whatever you decide for exercise, make is something you actually can do (like walk) and then make an appointment every day for it.
The wheezing Cyber Granny in NH

Posted by: Maribeth at January 4, 2007 9:50 AM

Start slowly and don't try to do it all at once. Donut days one or two a week instead of 5? You could still have the coffee and bring something from home to go along with it. Once you've done that, the daily stop might not seem so appealing. Or it might if it's more about the experience than the actual coffee. Take the money you save by cutting back and stash it for something special.

And get the physical. If my sons' dad hadn't hated doctors so much, he might have lived to see his grandchildren; all but one of whom are now in their teens. Prostate is one of the most common and curable of the male cancers when caught early. For some reason, it's attacking younger men than it once did.

End of lecture. Grannies are entitled to scold from time to time.

Posted by: ann adams at January 4, 2007 10:02 AM

I've never kept a resolution in my life either and yet the for some crazy reason I made some for the first time in years. I think it was blogger peer pressure.

Exercise: I hate all cardio, but love lifting weights, and donuts, and Christmas candy...see the problem? This year, however, my trainer and die hard runner friend has convinced me to join a gym with her, and she promises to get me going on some sort of cardio program. We'll see. The odds are against her.

Anyway, that brings me to my two tips for exercise.

A. Get ripped under a layer of fat like me.
B. Make friends who are personal trainers to guilt you into going to the gym for a cardio workout that you will hate on a regular basis.

Posted by: Kelly at January 4, 2007 10:08 AM

You mean do I have a healthy snack that is as emotionally fulfilling and as tastefully filling as a doughnut? No. No, I don't. I wish that I did. I'll tell you what I told someone else. If you're not into running, you'd be amazed at what walking can do.

I had a friend who bought a pedometer. They're pretty cheap. Ideally, one is supposed to take 10,000 steps every day for good aerobic health, so sh would put it on in the morning and wear it all day. By the time the kids came home from school, if she hadn't gotten all of her steps in, she would put on the old iPod and take a walk through the neighborhood to finish up the job. I'm talking about a nice quick walk...not the kind that has you wandering around aimlessly.

Anyway...she lost weight really quickly and she was really more out of shape than overweight. It was pretty amazing.

Posted by: wordgirl at January 4, 2007 10:14 AM

Dried fruit and unsalted nuts are great filling, healthy snacks. Do that for sure. Make sure you only eat brown breads, rice and pasta. And do more of those jumping rock god jacks. They're sure to keep you fit.

Posted by: E :) at January 4, 2007 10:18 AM

Ohhh. These are all good suggestions. I was thinking "get a french press". Stronger coffee made at home to bypass donuts. But if you really, really like the donuts that much, let that be your treat for the day.

But then again, I'm not exactly a poster child for healthy living either. So you might not want to listen to me.

Posted by: motherofbun at January 4, 2007 10:33 AM

I can't beleive no one has provided you with an answer to your most pressing question: What is a ball-peen hammer for?

A ball peen hammer is used to work harden metal. By whacking a ductile piece of metal over and over, you induce local stress which induces strain hardening - making the metal less ductile and more brittle. It can also be used quite effectively for whacking people...

As far as keeping healthy - let that child loose in the park and chase her...

Posted by: Jason at January 4, 2007 10:55 AM

No, but you can have a bite of this delicious pasta salad I'm having for breakfast. (Shells, mozerella, basil, tomatoes, very light vinegrette and parmesan cheese.)

My only goal this year is to eat better. But judging from what I'm having for breakfast right now (leftover from dinner last night), I don't know if I can handle it. Heh...

Posted by: Oakley at January 4, 2007 10:59 AM

healthiest thing you can do is drop the donuts, the sprite and the m&m's...

That small bag of pretzels won't kill you.

And dude, you have the best exercise around... a toddler. walk her... take her to the park and walk, run, play... on rainy days, take her to the playground in the mall, but don't sit there, play with her.

Good luck, we have the same non resolution resolutions. (but I started mine before the holidays.)

Posted by: Karen at January 4, 2007 10:59 AM

Sounds like you and my husband share the same luck- eat anything, remain thin.

So not fair.

Posted by: Liz at January 4, 2007 11:06 AM

I, too, must have the DD coffee. BUT, I buy mine from the local DD and I brew it at home. Solves my donut addiction.

As for "ball-peen", the peen is indeed the end of the hammer and it's called "ball-peen" because on that particular hammer, the end is ball-shaped. I have a wealth of utterly useless information in my head.

And once you find that physical activity that meets your requirements (which are also my requirements) let me know, okay?

Posted by: candace at January 4, 2007 12:36 PM

Turn your head and cough? Dude. You're getting a prostate exam, too.

Exercise I like: kayaking (which I can do 12 months of the year, as long as I don't fall out of the boat); long walks with the dog; hiking the myriad state and national parks just outside my door here in Jefferson County WA; dancing like a maniac to Earth Wind & Fire while wielding a chef's knife (while I'm cooking of course).

You? Biking. Get one of those baby-trailer thingies. Rec-league volleyball or basketball. Boxing. Your women-folk would love to come watch that.

Posted by: bhd at January 4, 2007 12:45 PM

Geocaching. Not technically a sport, but many times requires you to get outside and walking through areas you didn't know existed. Get yourself a GPS and start hunting for treasure!

Posted by: Laura at January 4, 2007 12:49 PM

Take walks with Mia and Beth. As per sugar, expect to feel like you are having withdrawls. I let go of sugar and anything overprocessed. Let me tell you that I felt as though I had gone to rehab for a crack addiction. I was so surprised by the amount of crap that I was eating that "tasted" so good yet was slowly killing me and my health. I cut out red meet, only eat chicken and sea food. Eat los of whole foods. I try to buy organic but heck the price aint cheap. I only eat brown rice, whole wheat bread and as for cheese...hmmm I guess I got to be happy that my stomach does not tolerate it.

anyway, good luck and we can only take small steps at first. These steps helped me loose 78 pounds last year.

Posted by: Katherine NYC at January 4, 2007 12:56 PM

Check your local YMCA for classes you can do with Mia. The Girl and I started swimming together when she was only 9 months old. Our Y has parent/child yoga and gymnastics as well. It will get you more active and you won't be bored if you have Mia too.

Posted by: fauve at January 4, 2007 12:57 PM

On the advice of a co-worker, I am purchasing used Dance Dance Revolution gear for my PlayStation 2. THIS should work up a sweat and be WAY more fun than a treadmill. Try that!

Posted by: Dirka at January 4, 2007 1:14 PM

i hate you and your skinny ass-body after eating all that crap.

Posted by: ali at January 4, 2007 1:17 PM

You may as well shove an ice pick in my eye then to ask me to give up my occasional donut or my almost daily candy bar. They are life sustaining and I must have them.

Posted by: Jeff A at January 4, 2007 1:37 PM

ah yes... the good 'ol un-resolutions, as i like to call them. anyway... some suggestions (and take them as you will because what works for me doesn't necessarily work for everyone).

- you've got the veggies going for you (that's fabulous!), but what about fruit? i am a HUGE sucker for sweets, but when i'm eating healthy and eats lots of fruits, i find that i don't crave unhealthy sweets (there are occasional exceptions, of course). it's hard to get a good variety of fresh fruit during the winter, but i always try to eat 3-5 servings of fruit a day. dried and canned fruit can help with this.

- how do you drink your coffee? if you drink it black, there's really nothing to change. if you put lots of creamer and/or sugar in it, you can start by switching things up a bit. if you use fake sugar, switch to the real stuff (yes, it may have calories, but atleast your body knows how to process real sugar). same goes for creamer by switching to milk. also, you could just use less of whatever you are putting in the coffee.

- as far as activities goes, you could easily use your daughter. now that she's getting really active you can do all sorts of active things together. playing outside; chasing her around. you could even creat little games with here where you are, essentially, using her as a set of weights (repeatedly lifting her or throwing her into the air). even just taking a walk every day (or most days) has great benefits.

Posted by: Judy at January 4, 2007 1:42 PM

Drop the chocolates, buy a frenchpress and brew at home. We're Caribou addicts now. We go in and pay full price on Saturdays. Otherwise, we brew at home or go without (I drink a lot of tea instead).

As for exercise. I like yoga and dance. ooohhh Take dance lessons like salsa or tango with the lovely wife of yours. Find a babysitter with the coffee money. It'll be a ton of fun!!

Good luck.

Posted by: autumn at January 4, 2007 1:49 PM

I agree with the person who said that you should allow yourself a donut (or treat in general) day each week. That makes it much easier to give up the junk food. And then, when you have it, you enjoy it that much more. Or at least I do.

As for exercise, they do have treadmills with indvidual TVs now, which is my savior. That, and working out with a friend a couple of days a week. One of my resolutions is to try a bunch of new stuff this year so I don't get bored. I'll let you know how kickboxing, spinning and horseback riding go!

Posted by: bad penguin at January 4, 2007 1:55 PM

I hear guide dogs are pretty good, but I'm not sure they would allow them in a gym. Maybe you should do a community sport like street hockey, after you eat enough donuts to cushion agains't moving cars so you will survive and ride the hoods like me, until they hit the breaks.

Happy New Year, Chris!

Posted by: RC at January 4, 2007 2:09 PM

I concur on the water.

they say that if you drink LOTS of water you can loose weight without doing anything else. And I like to think it washes the sugar away. So I always chase a chocolate with a liter!

I keep a gallon on my desk and try to make the whole thing go away by the end of the day.

I hate physical activity! The only thing I have found that works is a personal trainer. And heart rate training ROCKS. But - with a kid.... why would you want to be at the gym... I think you should find something to do with her. Like a trailer on a bike or that running stroller thingy, or instead of swinging her at the gym, teach her to play soccer, or throw tennis balls - if you gave her 100 and told her to throw, imagine how much running around you'd do.
;-)

Posted by: Lisa at January 4, 2007 2:14 PM

So you're basically like the guy in those commercials who looks all healthy on the outside, but then they give his cholesterol reading and everyone wonders why he hasn't keeled over yet? Yikes.

Seriously though, I'd suggest walking/hiking and/or biking since they're things the whole family can enjoy together (which increases the likelihood that you'll stick with it) and are relatively low impact. If gadgets help keep you motivated, maybe get a couple of pedometers to see how many steps you and Beth each take during the day or week, and see who does - or can do - more. Do you guys have bikes? If you're cool with putting Mia in a baby seat on the back of one of them (personally those things scare the heck out of me) then that might be an idea. And for the winter months you could probably get a treadmill or stationary bike so you can work out inside. It's a one-time investment and you might be able to get a good deal on one. Really, if it makes you healthier, then it's worth the money, right?

Or maybe consider joining a local Y with a pool - preferably one with childcare where Mia can hang while you & Beth swim a few laps. Again, low impact but GREAT exercise. And many times these places offer baby swimming classes and swim teams for kids too. It might end up being something the whole family will enjoy well into the future. Of course, it does involve a) monthly membership fees and b) going somewhere else to exercise (which might not be your thing based on your gym experience), so maybe the walking and biking are better ideas.

As for the doughnuts, I wouldn't be able to do it once a week like someone suggested. I've got will power issues and I have to give stuff like that up cold-turkey, no exceptions or else one taste will knock me off the wagon for good. But maybe that's just me. If you can handle it, I say go for it - why completely deprive yourself if you don't have to?

Whatever you decide to do, good luck with it - and have fun!

Wow. Longest comment ever. Sorry about that. :)

Posted by: erin at January 4, 2007 2:28 PM

you eat like me

today I had a coke (caffeine AND sugar) and microwave popcorn for lunch.

for supper I'll probably have another coke and some chocolate chip cookies.

Posted by: kalisah at January 4, 2007 3:47 PM

Why do we have to turn our heads when we cough? When I was a kid, I always thought the hammer was bald and it ping-ed, then again my mom put “R’s” in the words like Sandrich and Worsh. Rest her soul.

Here’s my snack Suggestions:
Sunflower seeds are good, nuts too (except the teabaggin’ kind)
Baby carrots make a good chew food – celery gets old
Popcorn – no butter
Fruit – grapes, berries and bananas – pomegranates are great snack foods
Hardboiled eggs – in moderation
String cheese

I agree with avoiding DD altogether. Make your coffee or go to a real coffee shop.

Exercise - Camera idea is really good. Think I’ll try that – the only problem here is covering a distance that’s aerobic and useful to the body. Too bad I can’t run while taking pictures – hey, that gives me an idea.

I keep telling myself to get up at lunch and go for a walk but I don’t listen. I can’t seem to push away from the desk. Whatever you do, you need to visually see it somewhere so you can mentally acknowledge your efforts – yea, more work, a calendar, checklist, journal or spreadsheet.

I’d suggest holding off buying any equipment, it typically goes the way of gym memberships. Last year I bought a great mountain bike and then I bought a great mountain bike rack for my garage and guess where the bike’s been since?

The pedometer idea is great. I use one when I get around to walking. I try to getting in between 8k-10k steps a day however a typical day is about 1200 (sad). Racquetball is a great cardio sport, plus you have the aggression part…YEA!

Kickball IS big in the DC area. I have a friend that plays on the fields near the Washington memorial. I could hook you up. I hear it’s pretty competitive and a blast to play.

Posted by: Johnny "Appleseed" Smoke at January 4, 2007 4:07 PM

Re: "Apparently you have to visit the gym to realize the full health benefits" -- finally, I know what I've been doing wrong!

As for the rest of it, maybe you can give yourself a donut once/week, just to ease into it a little bit?

Posted by: sandra at January 4, 2007 4:09 PM

Does this mean if I give up meat and chicken I can eat donuts and get skinny too!

If you give up donuts what else are you going to have for breakfast? :-)

Posted by: Steff at January 4, 2007 4:16 PM

You and I my friend are in the same boat. So to speak. I too, avoid resolutions, run only when chased, and eat sugar treats like there was no tomorrow. However doing this may make the "no tomorrow" thing happen quicker. I didn't resolve to do anything special but like you, I do want to increase physical activity and decrease sugar intake. So therefore, I think I will go over your comments and steal suggestions made to you. Saves time in fishing for my own on my site. Besides you get a buttload more traffic here. :) Good luck on your quest!

Posted by: Kate at January 4, 2007 4:27 PM

Chris,

My recommendation is Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Corn. They sell it in mini bags. It's not sweet like that concession stuff that's awful and it's a good snack.

I recommend walking, hiking and yoga. Since going to the gym doesn't work for you. Good luck.

Posted by: Diane at January 4, 2007 4:35 PM

I make myself run, but that is pretty boring. Swimming? Also boring.

Exercise in general is boring, unless you join a team, say a soccer team.

Walking isn't too bad, good for your heart.

Elliptical trainer? Boring.

Sigh.

Posted by: Jen at January 4, 2007 5:44 PM

I'm a poor diet veggie, too. Somebody else suggested Dance Dance Revolution. You would not believe what a riot this game is, and it's a workout, too. My husband, thrash metal fan that he is, consistently kicks my ass at it.

*He would now like me to clarify that of course he is way too cool for this game, and that I just made that up...except it's true.

Posted by: Sphincter at January 4, 2007 9:47 PM

Okay, first of all, I hate you. I feel like I've been on a diet all my life and I still weigh 3,296 pounds. No metabolism here, folks.

Secondly, only take enough money into DD to buy a coffee and leave the rest in the car. That way you can't cave to the temptation.

Thirdly, physicals are rough but if nothing else do it for the ladies in your life. I'm sure you want to do all you can to be around for them, so it's best to get the blood pressure and cholesterol checked. (Incidently, I went for a physical a few months back and I'm healthy as an ox. I weigh 3,296 pounds but I'm healthy. Go figure.)

Finally, I agree with others - take Mia out and play with her or go for a walk with your camera. I think you've been exercising more than you realize already!

Posted by: Beth in StL at January 4, 2007 10:15 PM

well...Chris...I think going to Dunkin Donuts for coffee is setting yourself up for failure. I think that you will start getting them after a few days of depriving yourself. Is the coffee that good? Try another place. I also believe that you shouldnt deprive yourself, but use moderation. So, maybe one day a week you get the donuts. Obviously, you must be eating breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, try eating at home. It sounds like you have a sweet tooth, I love this and it is very healthy. I buy the low sugar oatmeal and put in 3 chocolate kisses. It makes is sweeter and nice and chocolatey. The calories and fat are not bad and oatmeal has lots of fiber for you know what.

Best of luck, and now is the time to think about getting healthy.

Posted by: linda at January 4, 2007 11:24 PM

I'm going to jump on the walking bandwagon with pretty much everyone else. I really do not like to exercise, but walking by the river does it for me. That, and hiring a big, imposing personal trainer who will hurt me if I don't show up to our sessions.

And you people with high metabolisms who can eat doughnuts and candy from sunrise to sunset and still stay skinny? Jealous Hate.

Posted by: fw sunsh at January 4, 2007 11:27 PM

why don't you just turn your blog into a health & fitness record? Accountability TO THE WORLD.

(what? I would still read it. ... maybe)

Posted by: s@bd at January 4, 2007 11:53 PM

I'd say you've got a good plan. I'm with those above who said keep one donut day, at least for now. I'd go with Mondays. Mondays suck, but at least you'd get a donut. The physical is a must do. You've got two lovely ladies counting on you. You owe them the best. As for exercise, try to walk more in your daily life. Take the stairs instead of the elevator (I used to belong to a gym on the second floor of a building. I always laughed at the peole who took the elevator to use the stairmaster.), walk to the store or the park or whatever is close to your house. Also, I can't believe Fanball and Hide nad Seek aren't keeping you in peak physical form.

Posted by: Annie at January 5, 2007 12:20 AM

Geez, I always thought it was a ball-pen hammer. Then again, I don't know what the hell a ball-pen hammer would be, either.

Dunkin Donuts so rocks, and we don't have them here in Houston that I know of. And they took away all of our Krispee Kremes because of some sort of litigation involving disgruntled franchise owners. Hmmph. No good donuts = one very unhappy girl. (I should also be over 3,000 pounds with the way I eat. Thank God for high metabolisms).

Posted by: Snickrsnack Katie at January 5, 2007 1:21 AM

I made a list... a short one, but a list just the same, of sort of resolutions.

So far I'm off to a smashingly crappy start too.

Maybe we should just all start a club and call it good?

Posted by: Debra at January 5, 2007 2:35 AM

As a white-sugar-junkie myself, I know how hard it is to give it up, or even cut back at first. Good luck with it!

When I was working, I'd try to do a smoothie for breakfast-- you can get a little good sugar from the fruit, you can add in whatever wacky health stuff you want without really noticing it (bee pollen, flax or hempseed oil, etc) and pour the whole thing into a travel mug to drink during the commute. Plus, protein from the yogurt.

Once you get your sugar expectations set a little lower, you can try things sweetened with brown rice syrup. I use it in my baking, if I'm being good, and it's actually quite yummy.

I've got lots of crazy hippie advice on this one, so email if you really want it! ;)

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at January 5, 2007 10:20 AM

You could get a Nintendo Wii and start boxing. Mia will probably laugh at you the whole time you do so its family fun for everyone.

Posted by: Jody at January 5, 2007 1:22 PM

The reason you don't weigh 3,296 pounds is because although those things aren't exactly healthy, it's not like you're eating a TON of it. Those things, in addition to whatever else you ate that day, just aren't totaling up to an excessive amount of calories. But there is definitely a difference between good and bad calories.

Eat better: your body will thank you (good motto, huh?). :)

Posted by: Zandria at January 6, 2007 8:12 PM


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