February 20, 2007

Inquiring Minds Want To Know...

So, the post I was planning for today is taking way too long. And frankly, it's early and I need another cup of coffee. It's actually a minor miracle that I'm typing much less forming reasonably coherent sentences to begin with. Yet, I'm only on the fourth such sentence so there's still time for things to go horribly wrong. Flehs, jkke-jadplyy belpwkf...kidding.

Today, in the grand spirit of improvisation and passing the buck, I'm turning it over to you. Yes, it's that time again - audience participation time! Since I copped out and left you doing all the heavy lifting the last time, I'm sure you've come up with many fine questions for me. If not, make something up. Anything goes. Ask and ye shall receive. A penny saved is a penny earned...okay, that didn't make any sense but you get my point. Open up the comments and let me have it. All of you. And while you're at it, answer a question for me - why do you keep reading? I just looked over my posts for the last month and a half and, wow, snoozefest, people.

There you have it - your marching orders for the day. Make me proud.

Posted by Chris at February 20, 2007 6:35 AM

Since I know you love music - what would you want to have played at your funeral?

Posted by: Debbie at February 20, 2007 6:57 AM

If you had to choose, would you rather be blind or deaf? elaborate, please :D

To answer your question; you are the Rude Cactus...you can't be smokin' every day--well, you probably could but you do have a life. Even when you are boring, not that I would classify it as boring, it is better than 99% of the blogosphere's best work.

Posted by: Nanette at February 20, 2007 7:13 AM

Oh no! Not another "tell me you love me" post!

Posted by: Mrs. Cactus at February 20, 2007 7:19 AM

Occasionally I check out if Beth is telling the truth by reading your blog. I read for the occasional hi cu (sp? - never could spell those Hungarian words ) You say some stuff that's interesting now and then.

Hmmm, here's your question, and you asked for it. When you and Beth are having sex, what's one thing she does you really like?


Posted by: Edge at February 20, 2007 7:33 AM

What is the average windspeed at the top of Mt. Washington (in New Hampshire) in a year? Also, what makes clouds look so fluffy and white? Also, how do you get coffee stains out of linen? Also, what time is it?

Whew, I'm drained.

Posted by: Contrary at February 20, 2007 7:35 AM

I keep reading because you make me laugh. Simple as that.

Have you ever colored your hair?

Posted by: Alissa at February 20, 2007 7:50 AM

What's your favorite brand of brew-it-yourself coffee (beans or grinds)? Do you have a preference on which shoe you put on first?

Yes, they're sort of random, but I haven't had my coffee yet either.

Posted by: Ross at February 20, 2007 7:56 AM

Since Beth has a celebrity boyfriend, do you have a celebrity girlfriend? If so, who is it?

I read because you comment on the things I'm thinking about. It makes the world seem a little smaller.

Posted by: Sharri at February 20, 2007 7:57 AM

Don't you miss meat?

I keep reading, and this will sound strange, but I enjoy the character. It is like any TV show I may get into, The Office or Heroes, or 30 Rock. There is a combination, of decent writing, good acting and the characters. You have all three. (the acting part is a stretch but I think you get the point). I will probably stop reading when you introduce an "Oliver" to get better ratings.

Posted by: William at February 20, 2007 8:01 AM

What kind of camera do you use? Is there one that you dream of owning? (I ask because we're on the hunt for a new one...)

I keep reading, even though I'm fairly new to your site, because you are blunt, sarcastic, reminesient (can't spell that word), funny, and I look forward to reading it each morning. Currently working on reading your old posts though... whew. Lots of reading!!

Posted by: Phoenix at February 20, 2007 8:20 AM

Ouch to Debbie for making me think of death this early in the morning.
What is a book you remember from childhood that helped to shape your, obvious, love of reading?
I keep reading because you are interesting and funny and you have some smart opinions that you can express way more articulately than I. Also you are a father writing love letters to your wife & daughter and who doesn't love that??

Posted by: tulip at February 20, 2007 8:22 AM

Being married to a guy that thinks blogging is lame, I am intrigued by male bloggers. I only recently discovered your blog on "put something on your head" day and I keep reading because I like the way your brain works and I guess because you're cute, to boot ;)

I have no idea what to ask you since I'm new here. Maybe next time.

Posted by: August at February 20, 2007 8:54 AM

I read because I like the "snoozefest" of people's lives. I like to hear about what goes on daily in a person's life. My husband is not much for socializing so we just don't get out of the house much and I guess this is my way of getting out and talking to people.

I may have a sad, sad life but I seem to be enjoying it anyway.

Posted by: daisy at February 20, 2007 8:55 AM

If you had to buy a house, would you buy a new house or an older house? The new house would have everything imaginable except a yard - that would have to be put in. The older house has a huge yard, pool, but needs new flooring and a kitchen update. Ok, give me your take, wise one! :=)

Posted by: Steff at February 20, 2007 9:04 AM

I read because you rock. Whether you're bringing the funny, discussing a serious political issue, or sharing the minutiae of your life, your blog is always "you." You seem like you're very comfortable with who you are and it's nice to hear from someone like that. You're one of my few daily must-reads.

Also, you have great hair. :-)

And I don't remember if you've ever told us your middle name. Have you? Maybe you did and I just missed it.

Posted by: Fraulein N at February 20, 2007 9:06 AM

I am a fairly new reader and I read because you know how to bring on the funny.

Was there one book you read many times as a child?

If money wasn't an issue, what would you do for a living?

What is the most embarassing question you've been asked? How did you respond?

Have you ever been present when someone was asked a rude question and you thought their response was priceless? Question and response, please.

Since I lack creativity, I'm going to ask you some of the questions I asked Beth last week.

Tell us about something you said or did as a child that your family won't let you forget.

What is your secret, comfort food that you are embarassed to admit because some may find it disgusting?

Posted by: Maria at February 20, 2007 9:14 AM

i keep coming back because i'm hoping you'll post nudes.

(just kidding, beth! i fear you!)

and my question for you is, so when are you gonna post nudes?

ok. i'll stop. the real question...

do you wish you travelled more? and where would you most like to go, in the US? (i mean, everyone wants to go abroad so that's a no-brainer.)

Posted by: b. at February 20, 2007 9:15 AM

A big part of why I stay tuned in is because I've gotten to know the man behind the cactus, as it were, over the past couple of years, and I like seeing what you're up to (even if it is just happily playing with Mia and Beth). Plus, you take excellent photos. And, lastly - I'm just nosy.

I'm supposed to ask you a question now, eh? Ummmm.... if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Posted by: Dawn at February 20, 2007 9:18 AM

I keep reading because I am a voyeur. That's why I read blogs in general, I guess. Also because you're a talented writer, funny and I like the interplay between you and Mrs. Cactus. I can't even remember how I found you guys!

My question is simple. What's your favorite movie? Ever thought of checking out the flick made by a fellow blogger in Duluth? Just curious....:) I'd be very interested in your comments.

Posted by: carrster at February 20, 2007 9:18 AM

biggest pet peeve?

Posted by: ali at February 20, 2007 9:21 AM

Congrats! You have discovered an easy, non-particle screwing-uppy way to time travel. But before you share this new-found wisdom with the general public, you want to try it out for yourself. What historic (or not historic) event(s) would you want to witness first-hand? Why?

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at February 20, 2007 9:22 AM

Oh, and I keep reading because you're the most awesome person to ever awesome. This is totally lame to admit, but E and I think of you and Beth as family. You know, family we've never met. :D

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at February 20, 2007 9:24 AM

What is the misterious greasey stain that magically appeared on my husband's shirt last time I washed it? Aren't clothes supposed to come out of the washer cleaner than they went in?

Lame, yes. But it's what's on my mind this morning.

OK, here's a real one. IF you decide to have more kids, would you want a boy (to experience both raising a girl and boy/pass on your name, etc) or another girl (familiarity, playmate for Mia, etc). Yeah, yeah, I know you just want the kid to be healthy, but all that aside, boy or girl?

Posted by: ktjrdn at February 20, 2007 9:24 AM

Do you like movies about Gladiators?

Posted by: Phil at February 20, 2007 9:32 AM

Why haven't you gone to see Butch Walker yet?

Ok, that's lame I know. But it was that or something about global warming but I already know your answer to that.

And I keep reading because you are honest, open, funny, intelligent and because it's nice to read the rants of people who share my politics.

Posted by: laura at February 20, 2007 9:44 AM

I imagine people continue to read when you're a "snoozefest" (your words, not mine!) because everyone knows you have the ability to do "bigger and better." It's not your fault that your job keeps you otherwise occupied! Plus, not even great writers can come up with something good every day. But methinks you're being too hard on yourself. :)

Q: If you won a huge jackpot tomorrow, big enough that you could quit your job and never have to worry about working again, what would you do? Would you continue working at your job anyway? Would you pack up your family and move somewhere else, or stay in this area?

Posted by: Zandria at February 20, 2007 10:08 AM

I read this question last night, so I'm ripping it off (of Chuck Klosterman -- giving credit where credit's due) and passing it on --

You work at a job which you find satisfying, and for which you're compensated accordingly. One day, there's a management change. The new big cheese gives everyone a 10% raise. NOTHING about your job will change except for the fact that there's a new dress code. From now on, women have to work in formal wear -- either ball gowns or prom-ish dresses -- and men have to wear tuxedos (with tails), although three-piece suits are permitted on casual Fridays. Would you look for a new job?

Posted by: sandra at February 20, 2007 10:24 AM

I read you because quite simply, you crack me up.

My question: Not that you don't love and adore Mia, but what do you miss most about being a double income, no kids (DINK) couple?

Posted by: donna at February 20, 2007 10:28 AM

I read because, quite honestly, I kind of like peeking into other people's lives as much as I like having an outlet to share my boring life. Also? As infrequently as you've been doing them lately, I like your book posts and they cause me to add even more to my ever-growing to-read stack.

Posted by: Jen at February 20, 2007 10:36 AM

I love Beth's comment, but I'll humor you anyway.

I keep reading because I LOVE the personal responses despite the number of comments you get. Plus, you're funny, we share many similar opinions and you're a fellow DC metro blogger (though I'm still waiting for an invitation from the cool kids to get together for a beer or such).

Question...I see you're a Nats fan from your hat in the pictures. Do you REALLY love baseball or is it a fun pastime? Along the same line, how do you feel about the Yankees?

Pitchers and catchers have reported to camp. Oh how I wish I was there with them!!

Posted by: MammaLoves at February 20, 2007 11:19 AM

Have you ever had to have any stitches? If so, how many and where?

Which characteristic of Mia's do you look at and say, "Oh man, that's me"?

We read, because we care.

Posted by: anna at February 20, 2007 11:29 AM

Timing has a lot to do with it. I wake up, pour a cup of coffee, and look through my mail for your link.

Seriously, I enjoy the variety and never knowing what I'll find next. (I sound like Forrest Gump).

You have cheered me up so many times and these days, that's a big plus.

I can't think of a question that hasn't already been asked. Do you plan to keep on writing? I hope so.

Posted by: ann adams at February 20, 2007 11:32 AM

I read for two reasons.

1. We have a lot in common.
2. You keep your posts a good length, and your topics bounce around.

I'd like to know how long you've played guitar, what songs you have mastered (I dont care if it's mary had a little lamb, I'm just curious), and how often you get to play these days.

Posted by: Brad at February 20, 2007 11:39 AM

I still want to know what was in the "brown paper wrapped package" that Beth brought home for Valentine's Day. ;-)

Posted by: Lori at February 20, 2007 12:10 PM

Keeping with yesterday's music theme, is there one song that you associate with Mia? What about Beth, do you two have an "our song"? I read because you write about what is real, and I read because you so obviously love your wife and your daughter, and it is refreshing. And I read because I like your perspective.

Posted by: Judy at February 20, 2007 12:32 PM

If Mia's very life depended on you permanently giving up one of two things: your books or your CDs/MP3s, which would you toss? Por Que?

I read with the hope that one day Mia will turn the tables and run around the house with YOUR not-so-sexy underwear on her head, so that the Fish can point and say "HAH!"

Posted by: smoness at February 20, 2007 12:42 PM

I'm just her for the pictures.

Seriously though, it's very apparent that you are very intelligent and speak your mind without worrying what other people think. So I guess I'm interested in what you have to say.

Oh, and Mia is so adorable and only a month older than my son, so I guess that has something to do with it too.

Now for the question: What is your favorite book series of all time?


Posted by: ProudMary at February 20, 2007 12:45 PM

Do you still have the bottlecap that Beth told you to keep forever?

I read because one day there may be another hickey watch or quite possibly something better.

Posted by: linda at February 20, 2007 12:57 PM

I'll just let you answer the other's questions...

I keep reading because you're funny, and we seem to have the same views on a lot of things... politics, stupid people...

Oh, and you said good things about my brother's band... even if you were just being nice... :)

Posted by: Karen at February 20, 2007 1:07 PM

If money were no object, what job would you most want? Would you be a rock star, or is there something else you'd like to do?

I read for a lot of reasons, including that even your off days are still fun to read, you have a lot more on days than off, and you actually answer every comment I leave you, no matter now inane it was.

You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, Chris, people like you!

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at February 20, 2007 1:10 PM

Question: Do you have a favorite word? If so, what is it?

I like many words, but quotidian is one I am particularly fond of. It's fun to say which contradicts its actual meaning.

I read this blog every day because the pay is good. I'm due for a raise pretty soon, don't you think?

Posted by: trix at February 20, 2007 1:11 PM

I keep reading because you are a friend. Someone I only know via their blog, but still a friend. And you have an adorable family who you love, and it shows in your writing and photos.

Yeah, what was in that brown paper wrapper? :)

Posted by: Lisa at February 20, 2007 1:12 PM

Hmmm, well you're one of the...about 4 blogs that I keep reading, cause you crack my ass up. Also, I think that if we didn't live on the other side of the world (ok US) from each other, we'd get along great.

Who's your favorite Muppet and why? Did you know that Disney bought the Muppetts when Jim Henson died?

Posted by: Issa at February 20, 2007 1:14 PM

The person you have revealed yourself to be is someone we want to know/hear from on a daily basis. The pause in writing content does not change it.

My question: If you could bring back a toy/book/item/game from your distant childhood/adolescence that is no longer around, what would it be?

Posted by: wordgirl at February 20, 2007 1:14 PM

can you find me a place to live? must take cats. and be in canada.

Posted by: Jodi at February 20, 2007 1:27 PM

I am living with an already married (most don't know this, including her father) daughter who is PMSing and trying to get moved into a new apartment (85 miles away) while working, planning a big wedding (yes, hers)and waiting for her hubby to come home from Iraq.
I keep reading because I enjoy the reminders of what normal is (if normal was something else, of course), and because I am ever-hopeful that there will be more pics (of nature, buildings or your beautiful kid).
Do you have any Lucinda Williams in your vast CD collection?

Posted by: Jaycie at February 20, 2007 1:47 PM

If you were trapped on a desert island, what 5 things would you bring with you, and why?

Sorry, that's the best I've got today. I keep reading because it's nice to know that there are people out in the world with views similar to my own. And because you try so hard to keep us entertained!

Posted by: Beth in StL at February 20, 2007 2:07 PM

I read your blog everyday because it is refreshing to see someone who has great taste in music. Anymore it seems like everyone makes the comment I like everything and I personally feel that if you like everything you honestly don't like music at all. You also make it a point to reply to every comment you get which is kind of important because I want to know that the people who actually have these blogs read their freaking responses.

Oh and us Uber Flaming Liberals have to support each other whenever possible.

As for the question........ I'll let you off easy:
Hilary Clinton or Barrack Obama?

Posted by: Sunshine at February 20, 2007 3:02 PM

Why do I keep reading? Why do people slow down to look at car wrecks? Just kidding! Because you are so damn funny thats why!

Now for my question, it's an easy one! What the heck is on your hat in your about photo?

Posted by: Jeff A at February 20, 2007 3:10 PM

I'm terrible at coming up with interesting questions, but I read because I like seeing both sides of the story. I actually came across your blog and Beth's both individually and one day put it all together (I'm a bright one!). Besides that, I love the occasional photos of you, your hot wife, and your gorgeous daughter.

So, why did you start blogging? I'm sure it has been asked before and probably answered but I'm too lazy to dig through the archives.

Posted by: dee at February 20, 2007 3:31 PM

What is the worst movie you have ever seen in it's entirety?

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at February 20, 2007 3:51 PM

What's a deep dark secret that you have yet to share with us, your devoted readers? I know that to be kept deep and dark you'd have to,... um,... NOT share it here, but what's the fun of that?

I keep reading because you entertain me. And you're just a little ahead of me in the parenting game. And you're Rude Cactus. Until I meet a better Rude Cactus, you're stuck with me.

Posted by: Heather at February 20, 2007 4:21 PM

not so much a question directly for you but, why are there never enough red Skittles in a bag of Skittles? its the best flavor and they never put enough in. grrrrr

Posted by: MadMom at February 20, 2007 4:30 PM

I keep reading because I like your style. Your writing style, parenting style, music style...you know?

And as for a question...um, what's the best live concert you've ever been to? I haven't read any of the other fifty-three comments so I hope nobody's already asked you this.

Posted by: mamatulip at February 20, 2007 4:41 PM

If your answer to Sarah's question is _Dangerous Liaisons_ I'm going to beat you up.

Posted by: Mrs. Cactus at February 20, 2007 4:57 PM

Blogging is like "Real World" without the teenage, petty arguing and snotty behavior that soooo detracts from the "experiment". I love psychology, and reading blogs lets me observe the fish tank of life. Of course, the problem with that is that I get sucked in and begin to care about the people (aside from those I already cared about that began blogging after I cared)

What is a snoozefest to you is of course entertaining to us outside the fish tank looking in.

You silly fishes!

Posted by: coolchick at February 20, 2007 5:14 PM

I could look this up but why not be lazy and just ask? What is a haberdasher? Is it something to do with hats? Were you really one?

Posted by: kimblahg at February 20, 2007 6:37 PM

I keep coming back because your funny & you keep me guessing. I never know what to expect from your blog on any given day.

What would your readers be surprised to learn about you?

Posted by: Diane at February 20, 2007 7:13 PM

Question: Ever been to Seattle? If not, do you ever want to go?

I'm not even from there and I've never been, so I'm not sure why I'm asking that...it just came into my head.

Answer: I read because I think you're very eloquent, smart, and have great taste in music. It was because of your recommendation that I bought Coldplay's "X&Y" in 2005 when I wasn't even a fan, and now I love that band.

Posted by: Stephanie at February 20, 2007 7:31 PM

I read because you're funny and quirky and so damn nice. :) I always find myself smiling after I read one of your posts. Like now! :)

I'm so bad at these questions. And, I got nothin in me today. I guess I'd ask...when are you and Beth and Mia going to get a cat again? You're cat people! you need a cat!

Posted by: Haley-O at February 20, 2007 11:01 PM

i like ham.

do you like ham too?


Posted by: averil at February 21, 2007 4:40 AM

Because it's much better then my blog...now that's a snoozefest...


Posted by: Darla at February 21, 2007 1:08 PM

What makes you want to blog? Do your friends know that you blog? Do your guy friends make fun of you or are they cool with it?

There's all of three questions..enjoy. I didn't read the other questions, so if someone's asked. Ignore me.

I read because I love sarcasm, and you're totally sarcastic.

Posted by: s@m at February 21, 2007 3:34 PM