March 15, 2007

My Auto-Responder (In An Ideal World)

Hi. I regret that I'm unable to respond to your inquiry immediately but I'll be away from the Internet on Thursday, March 15, 2007. I'm sequestered in a off-site meeting that would, I'm sure, make Twelve Angry Men look like a rollicking joyride through the comedic underbelly of the human condition.

I won't have access to email, voicemail, cellphone or sanity for the majority of the day and evening. I will, instead, be feigning attention whilst

  • rerunning the movie Three Amigos in my head ("I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda." "Lips would be fine.")
  • attempting to discover workable alternatives to rocks, paper, and scissors
  • trying to figure exactly what a condom was doing in our yard...although, duh
  • silently plotting the overthrow of a small third-world country to officially launch my renewed quest for world domination and the implementation of Topless Tuesdays.

If you have a matter requiring my swift attention, I'm afraid you're shit-outta-luck. So sorry. When in doubt, please ask yourself, WWJJCD (What Would Jack, Janet and Chrissy Do?).

Chris Cactus

Posted by Chris at March 15, 2007 6:12 AM

You make me laugh! WWJJCD

Can I have that printed onto a t-shirt?

Posted by: Nanette at March 15, 2007 6:30 AM

the world is in desperate need of Topless Tuesdays... lemme know if you need a hand with the overthrow... I'm too liberal to own a gun, but I can do nasty, nasty things with a box of maxi pads, a bottle of olive oil and a wedge of swiss cheese.

Posted by: SciFi Dad at March 15, 2007 6:52 AM

Would you say you have a plethora of pinatas?

Posted by: Jon (was) in Michigan at March 15, 2007 7:09 AM

My little buttercup, has the sweetest smile. Dear little buttercup, won't you stay awhileeee.

~snort~ LOVE that movie.

No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are...
The Three Amigos!

Hehehe. Try and have a good day. =)

Posted by: Lauren at March 15, 2007 7:33 AM

I would make a somehwat sizable donation to the Topless Tuesday campaign

Posted by: William at March 15, 2007 7:51 AM

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Tidal Wave, Hurricane, Bomb, Open Spaces.

All different things we use to use as kids. I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them right now.

Good luck in your meeting~ Try to keep your mind. It's a good thing. /nod

Posted by: Secha at March 15, 2007 7:54 AM

...we will fight like lions!

Great movie.

Posted by: Alissa at March 15, 2007 7:58 AM

Funny that you would mention Three Amigos. I was just watching that last night. I love that movie. "It's a mail plane." "How can you tell?" "Because of its little balls" teehee Good luck surviving your meeting. and remember...Go in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what those rights are or who you are demanding them from. Then on your way out, slam the door.

Posted by: Felicia at March 15, 2007 9:03 AM

Now Iam plannign on renting The Three Amigos!
Thank God tomorrow is Friday.

Posted by: Jenn at March 15, 2007 9:11 AM

Well then...

(condom? front yard? ewwww...)

Posted by: sue at March 15, 2007 9:18 AM

Keep in mind, the 2007 tournament finals for the USA Rock, Paper, Scissors League ( are taking place May 11-13 in Vegas. Its just one step away from becoming an Olympic event.

Posted by: J at March 15, 2007 9:20 AM

Oh my damn, that is so gross when you find used condoms on the ground. When I was in high school, there was a veritable condom landfill out behind the parking lot. So. Gross.

Posted by: Fraulein N at March 15, 2007 9:22 AM

Twelve Angry Men. They're remaking that movie, you know. Twleve Angry People. Hope it's as good as the first one.

Posted by: wordgirl at March 15, 2007 9:26 AM

At least you're over the hump and can look forward to the weekend (and more condoms in your yard?).

Posted by: ann adams at March 15, 2007 9:44 AM

Three Amigos -- one of the all-time funniest movies. "Sew, old one! Sew like the wind!"

Posted by: Kelly at March 15, 2007 9:46 AM

That condom thing? It's really grossing me out, and I live in a university town!

Posted by: Heather at March 15, 2007 10:40 AM

Good Lord! First, a vibrator and now, a used condom?! WTF?! Sounds like somebody's running a neighborhood whorehouse OR you're living near some swingers. Holy cow!

Have a good day, My Little Buttercup!

Posted by: snakeepoo at March 15, 2007 12:10 PM


It is a little wierd that I just left a comment on Beth's site about r,p,s and then come here and see you mention it. Let me know if you figure out an alternative.

Posted by: Maria at March 15, 2007 3:36 PM

I don't think you should mess with the sanctity of RPS. But I guess boulder, parchment and Exacto knife would make a nice workaround.

Posted by: angela at March 15, 2007 6:44 PM

i think they'd have a gourmet fondue party.

i will, instead, make homemade chex mix. i hope that's an adequate compromise.

Posted by: jodi at March 15, 2007 10:14 PM

Mackenzie does 'rock, paper, scissors' in Japanese because that's were we lived when she learned it. You should try that.

Posted by: Cartwheels At Midnight at April 4, 2007 6:44 PM

Quelqu'un peut-il me dire comment obtenir les avatars peu à montrer dans ma section des commentaires? merci!

Posted by: Lancel at November 18, 2011 4:43 AM