April 10, 2007

How I Won A Trout

The other night, Beth and I were lying in bed, adrift between conversations. I felt nature's call so I got up, did my thing, then returned.

Her: How was the mule?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: The mule.
Me: Horse.
Her: Mule.
Me: Horse.
Her: No. Mule.
Me: I beg to differ. The correct phrase is I've got to see a man about a horse.
Her: No. I've got to see a man about a mule.
Me: I'm sorry but you're so wrong.
Her: I can't be. I saw it in a movie. Where's your authoritative source?
Me: Movie? Come on. Everyone knows it's horse.
Her: Why don't you go boot up the computer and check?
Me: Why don't you. You're the one that's wrong.
Her: It's so far away.
Me: Yeah, those fifty feet are a terror-filled bitch.
Her: Anyway, I'm right.
Me: You're so not right.
Her: Care to put a wager on this?
Me: What did you have in mind?
Her: I mentioned the wager so it's up to you to come up with something.
Me: Okay. I wager a fine freshwater trout.
Her: A trout?
Me: A fine freshwater trout.
Her: What are you going to do with a trout?
Me: Mount it on the wall, as a reminder of this night's victory.
Her: Won't it smell?
Me: I'll take it to a taxidermist, have it mounted on the wall in a victorious position.
Her: A trout? Really?
Me: Yes. Bring me my trout, my fine freshwater trout.

I did a little research. In a quick Google search for "going to see a man about a" I had to scroll through three full pages of search results before I even found mention of a mule. It was a direct quote from Their Eyes Were Watching God. I don't consider that authoritative. The next mention was the 115th search result. All other references? Horse. Maybe a dog thrown in here and there for good measure. But clearly the man was seen about, above all other four-legged creatures great and small, a horse.

Two questions. How perfectly fated are Beth and I to be with each other (in that neither of us found this conversation particularly unusual)? And how tired must I have been to bet a trout on such a sure thing? I still haven't gotten it, by the way. I hereby demand my fine freshwater trout!

Posted by Chris at April 10, 2007 7:20 AM

A horse is a larger animal than a mule...maybe she was making a reference to the si...oh nevermind.

Posted by: William at April 10, 2007 7:31 AM

and here I was all ready for a trout based sexual metaphor...

wait, that sounded wrong

Posted by: SciFi Dad at April 10, 2007 8:09 AM

Around here, the expression is, "I have to go see a man about a dog." I just went and checked this with Beaux, because he's the only one I've heard say this.

But still! Very silly, the two of you.

Posted by: Sam at April 10, 2007 8:32 AM

Mule?! Nobody sees a man about a mule! You married this woman?

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at April 10, 2007 8:38 AM

I can honestly say I've never heard Mule before... and I have read Their Eyes were watching god... But I hated it anyways, lol.

Grats on the trout... I think?

Posted by: Secha at April 10, 2007 8:45 AM

I hope you enjoy your fine freshwater trout.

Posted by: Fraulein N at April 10, 2007 8:56 AM

A singing trout?

Posted by: Phil at April 10, 2007 9:05 AM

I've only ever heard 'going to see a man about a dog' but then I am British.

Posted by: Katherine at April 10, 2007 9:09 AM

A trout mounted in a victorious position. I'd pay money to see that.

Posted by: wordgirl at April 10, 2007 9:20 AM

Can't wait to see your trout of victory.

Posted by: bad penguin at April 10, 2007 10:06 AM

Hah -- I bet Beth was thinking of Kalifornia. Brad Pitt goes to see a man about a mule in that movie. Perhaps she saw a resemblance between you two?

Posted by: Laura GF at April 10, 2007 10:25 AM

With those kinds of bed-time conversations, do we really need to worry about Mia having siblings?

Posted by: sue at April 10, 2007 10:37 AM

In "Finding Nemo", it was to see a man about a wallaby. So I guess it's regional. If you guys are in South America, you may be seeing a llama; Africa, a wilderbeast; and Asia, oh I don't know, a water buffalo?

Now that you guys talk about this, I think I too should share Brandon and mine off the wall conversation. :)

Posted by: oakley at April 10, 2007 10:46 AM

There's something fishy about your conversations. can't quite put my fin on what it is exactly, but I'll bet its just for the halibut, or trout in your case. Hehehe

Posted by: Felicia at April 10, 2007 10:46 AM

You nd Beth and Mia are more than welcome to come and stay with us here in New Hampshire, while Beth is out fishing for your trout! I'll even send Hubby as her guide.

Posted by: Maribeth at April 10, 2007 10:47 AM

I have never heard "mule." Always "horse." So I'd say you won.

Posted by: smoness at April 10, 2007 10:48 AM

I've ALWAYS heard it as "see a man about a dog". In fact, I've never heard it said with either a mule or a horse. So I did a little research of my own...




I did find some references to interchanging dog and horse, but nowhere did I find reference to a mule. Your fine freshwater trout should be justly served.

And yes, you and Beth are perfect together.

Posted by: coolchick at April 10, 2007 10:52 AM

You were both wrong :-) In "Good Will Hunting" the man is seen about a girl.

Posted by: Maria at April 10, 2007 11:00 AM

And what if you lost? (Not that you would... everyone knows it's horse...) Would Beth get the trout? And mount it in a defeated, submissive pose?

Posted by: Adam at April 10, 2007 1:08 PM

That's so funny. My father just left a little while ago (thank goodness for retired PopPop who LOVES to spend time with Zoe). He was going to meet a friend who was fishing at a nearby lake. The friend called and told him he should come meet him because they had already caught 4 trout (after catching nothing on Saturday). He told Zoe "PopPop's gotta go... he's gotta see a man about a trout."

Posted by: Colleen at April 10, 2007 2:02 PM

yep, its destiny. Love sure is fun(ny) isn't it?

Posted by: Molly at April 10, 2007 2:09 PM

I always think "to see a man about a dog" but sure :-D I love how totally quirky you and Beth are, and yes, absolutely perfect for each other. (Aww)

Posted by: Heather at April 10, 2007 2:44 PM

She's probably letting it rot a little bit out back before she gives it to you. ;)

Posted by: Tink at April 10, 2007 2:45 PM

LOVE it!!!

I think I can find you a nice "Billy Bass" to sub for a mounted trout..er.. trout that is mounted.. crap... stuffed fish...

Posted by: Sue R. at April 10, 2007 4:42 PM

I'm with you - I've always heard the one about the horse, not a mule. Of course a mule would work just as well.

Posted by: Beth in StL at April 10, 2007 6:59 PM

Ah. Lovers' sweet bedtime words.
And it is toally horse.

Posted by: Sphincter at April 10, 2007 9:24 PM

Um, that's TOTALLY. Sorry. I gave blood and I'm operating on a skeleton crew.

Posted by: Sphincter at April 10, 2007 9:25 PM

shows how much i know...i thought it was from good will hunting and i thought it was "i gotta see about a girl"...but then again, i live in canada...

Posted by: ali at April 10, 2007 11:25 PM

I've heard I've got to go see a man about a roo, but that only works in Aus for obvious reasons.
I think I've heard horse before too.

Posted by: Toni Marie at April 11, 2007 12:56 AM

You're lucky she didn't make you sleep with the fishes!! ;)

Posted by: Teenuh at April 11, 2007 1:29 AM

It's "I've gotta see a man about a dog". Not horse. Not mule. Dog.

No trout for you!

Posted by: IFLYG at April 11, 2007 2:37 AM

Call me sheltered, but I've never heard the expression used in any way whatsoever. So you both win. Trouts all around.

Posted by: angela at April 11, 2007 11:26 PM

I've heard the horse version.
Very interesting bed time conversations. Yup, it must be fate.

Posted by: nila at April 12, 2007 2:19 AM