May 22, 2007

Sticky Notes

Blogging can be rough. I mean, it's a tough gig waking up at the crack of dawn to entertain you guys. I like to think I put a lot of thought into my posts but, in actuality, I operate on the If You Type Long Enough You'll Stumble On Something school of thought. Most of the time it works. Sometimes not so much. Like yesterday. Obviously you guys couldn't relate to much yesterday. It was quiet around here.

One of the laws that governs blogging states that you're never close to a computer when you have an idea. Hence my penchant for sticky notes. They pepper my office, they're shoved in my glove compartment and they frequently fall out of shirt pockets whilst I change. Many of the ideas are never used because they suck. Many just don't see the light of day because I can't, for the life of me, remember what the hell I was thinking. Witness several recent discoveries.

Like how specific I was with this one? Can you really write something entertaining about milk? It's possible I just forgot to pick up something at the store.

Low-Rent Don Henley
I remember this one. I was stuck in line in the grocery store and noticed they were playing covers of lite-rock songs which were intended to sound exactly like the originals. A fake Don Henley was belting out a note-for-note cover of Desperado followed by a faux James Taylor and Sweet Baby James although, since it was autobiographical, about the singer, it was probably Sweet Baby Bruce or something. What kind of sorry-ass musical career do you have if you make your living trying to sound like Phil Collins? Nowhere to go but up after that.

Sadly, this wasn't a topic but a reminder to myself of a dentist appointment. Which, of course, I missed.

The Republicans suck
Generally true (no offense) but a little extra specificity would have been nice.

A kamikaze pilot crash lands on some island during World War II shortly after an Allied pilot crashes, both alive; hilarity ensues.
Excuse me but what the fuck?

Raincoat and leather chaps
I'm kinda glad I don't remember this one...

Separated At Birth: Smith and Ferrell
Will Ferrell and Red Hot Chili Peppers' drummer Chad Smith look exactly alike. See?

Iron Maiden/Genesis
Yeah, like those two bands have a hell of a lot in common. Oooh, a challenge. Let's see...Iron Maiden guitarist Jannick Gers played on Fish's first solo album...Fish did vocal work on two solo albums by keyboardist Tony Banks...Banks is the keyboardist for Genesis. I did it! Now, where's Kevin Bacon?

Winehouse/Rehab blows chunks
Amy Winehouse's Rehab is seriously one of the most annoying songs released since time began and music was invented. Cave people banging on rocks was better than this shit. So why is it so crack-like and addictive? Why can I not stop listening to this song despite the fact that I hate it so?

There you have it, your behind the scenes blogging peek. Pay no attention to the blogger behind the curtain...he's just a tired dude with writer's block.

Posted by Chris at May 22, 2007 7:19 AM

We would probably let you take a day off. If you ask really, really nice.

Posted by: Debbie at May 22, 2007 7:29 AM

"Raincoat and leather chaps"

I may have to try this one at home.

Posted by: Jon (was) in Michigan at May 22, 2007 7:43 AM

I leave myself notes all the time that I don't understand later. Not necessarily about blogging, but stuff in general.

Now, I'd like to see just what kind of post you can come up with about milk.

Posted by: Alissa at May 22, 2007 8:06 AM

It was Monday, I know I was too brain dead to think of forming a complete sentence in order to comment!

Posted by: Lisa at May 22, 2007 8:13 AM

That was funny. I write myself notes and then forget to read them.

I kept geting interuppted yesterday and didn't read yesterday's post until this morning. Did you get your laptop back?

Posted by: Maria at May 22, 2007 8:13 AM

I have had no ideas lately. I felt guilty about taking some days off posting. Luckily, I only have about 4 readers, so they didn't put up too much of a fuss. Maybe I'll steal your idea and write a post about milk... :)

Posted by: ktjrdn at May 22, 2007 8:22 AM

Okay, that Chad Smith/Will Ferrell thing is just FREAKY, man. Perhaps that whole pilots-on-an-island thing was the beginning of a short story? A really, really wacked-out short story? Dare I hope?

Posted by: Fraulein N at May 22, 2007 8:41 AM

I understand completely about the Post-its. With me it's phone #'s but no name.

Why didn't I comment yesterday? I overslept a little and forgot to get back to you.

Posted by: ann adams at May 22, 2007 9:15 AM

I had noticed the Will Ferrell/Chad Smith resemblence as well. It's uncanny. Surely they should be looking into some DNA testing.

Wanna get past the Amy Winehouse thing? Pick up Rocco DeLuca and the Burden's "I Trust You To Kill Me" CD. It's tremendous.

And instead of Post-Its, why not pick up one of those digital voice recorders and slip it in your pocket. Then you can record whole thoughts, and translate them later. I used to keep one in my vehicle when I had an hour commute one way because I would always think of important things to remember, particularly on the drive home from work.

Posted by: coolchick at May 22, 2007 9:20 AM

Boy, I wish I could say any of my gazillion stickies were half as interesting as yours!

Posted by: Claire at May 22, 2007 9:44 AM

would the Kamikaze just keep running at the Allied pilot and head butt him over and over again?

Posted by: William at May 22, 2007 10:09 AM

I never remember what the drummers look like, so I never knew who chad smith was. that's amazing. do another one!

Posted by: momomax at May 22, 2007 10:13 AM

Chris, I honestly don't know how you do it everyday. I'm always thinking or chuckling after each of your posts (laughing with you, promise). I'm trying to get going again with my blog, and I sometimes feel like I'm just talking to hear the sound of my own voice, honestly. Don't worry. In a blogging world of mediocrity, you are definitely above and beyond the rest of us.

Posted by: alektra at May 22, 2007 10:16 AM

First off, your comments thingie hates me and I'm not too fond of it either.

Also, does anyone know was Will Ferrell's daddy a traveling salesman? Or a milkman, maybe?

Also, Milk.

Posted by: Contrary at May 22, 2007 10:42 AM

As far as the two pilots crashing on an island, I think it'd be interesting and possibly movie-worthy if they didn't find each other until they were both older, but had somehow mastered the art of kung fu in the ensuing time. So, like, when they finally find each other, the Japanese dude would look like Pai Mei from the second Kill Bill flick and the other guy would look like David Carradine and they'd end up having this incredible kung fu fight that would be some incredible that Bruce Lee would fight his way back from the afterlife, climb out of his grave, and yell the phrase, "Holy Shit!". That. Would be. Awesome. Why am I not a screenwriter?

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at May 22, 2007 10:43 AM

OMG, Yes! Chad and Will are TWINS. Strangely, I've had this thought as well. Like minds ...

Posted by: Jen at May 22, 2007 10:59 AM

I have often made cryptic notes in a hurried moment, and then have not been able to figure out what I meant. I remember one time making a to-do list on a post-it and one of the to-dos was to pay a parking ticket I had received. I didn't want my then-husband to find out I'd gotten another parking ticket, and so put it on the list as "pkg tkt". Fast-forward to the weekend and I'm going down the list, checking off jobs, and find "pkg tkt" and can't for the life of me figure out what I meant by that. So I call out to D, who was reading the paper, "Any idea what I could have meant by 'package ticket?", thinking that's what I had abbreviated by the 'pkg'. He glanced at my list and said, "Probably stands for parking ticket". Busted.

Posted by: alison at May 22, 2007 11:04 AM

i have an excuse, Chris, it was a silly canadian holiday. i spent most of my day on a rollercoaster with my 6-year-old ;)

Posted by: ali at May 22, 2007 11:32 AM

They should really have some sort of device that you can directly plug into your head. I have so many good ideas when I'm out and about, and especially when I'm driving, and I never remember them when I get home. And alas, I have no sticky notes in my car. :(

Posted by: Michelle at May 22, 2007 11:58 AM

I have notebooks and notebooks filled with strange notes to myself. A lot of the stuff pertains to things on the net that I need to check out or stuff from more embarrassing times like when I RPed a lot... *blush*

The pilots crashing, thats hilarious. You should write a book about that. It'd be great fun. I'd read it.

There should be a movie about the Smith guy and Will Ferrell... because holy crap.

Posted by: Phoenix at May 22, 2007 12:14 PM

I only really think about my post sometimes. More times than not I sit down and type. Then I read it over to see the million of grammatical errors I made. That doesn't include the dozen or so that I don't catch.

Posted by: Stephanie at May 22, 2007 12:17 PM

Heh! Those are hilarious! Another rule of blogging is that when your blog is broken (like mine is right now) you will think of 1,000 amazing posts to write. I don't do sticky notes, but maybe I should.

BTW, "Republicans suck" is a complete post. There is really no need to elaborate on it. I have a similar post I'm working on called "Democrats suck, too." (What the heck happened to them? Seriously. They suck. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being Republican suckiness, I am giving the Dems a 7.5)

Posted by: trix at May 22, 2007 12:35 PM

Sometimes the title or the thought is enough. :-)

And hey, I am always amazed how you manage to come up with something funny every single day. That's pretty impressive, mate!

Posted by: mikkie at May 22, 2007 12:54 PM

At least you carry sticky notes. I never have anything to write on and I'm usually in the car (the only time I'm alone).

Posted by: MammaLoves at May 22, 2007 12:58 PM

At least you carry sticky notes. I never have anything to write on, and I'm usually in the car (the only time I'm alone).

Posted by: MammaLoves at May 22, 2007 12:58 PM

Did you know that Robert Palmer wrote a song about you? He did..."Might as well face it...your addicted its..."

He wrote it about me too...I live my life through posty notes (as I call them). And when I go back later? I don't remember what some of them mean. For instance. I am looking at one right now. It is a four digit number. I think it is a pin number to one of my accounts at work...but damned if I can figure out what...either that or it is someone's extension. But I don't want to call it and find out.

Posted by: Amy at May 22, 2007 12:59 PM

Well helloo there.... those are some awesome sticky notes. I have them all over my computer and monitor - all work related and terrifically boring. Can I go back on vacation??

Posted by: Sue R at May 22, 2007 1:09 PM

Woah. That Smith/Ferrell thing is strange. I can only assume their birth mother did a lot of smack.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at May 22, 2007 1:26 PM

Hey Chris, I have had such a crappy day. Thanks for putting a smile on this gals face!

Posted by: Maribeth at May 22, 2007 3:00 PM

Blogging is hard when you can't think of something to share, but you feel like you need to share. I loved blogging, but my priorities changed. I stopped blogging.

I just learned how to install WordPress all by myself.

Not that I'm saying anything...

Posted by: Emily at May 22, 2007 3:17 PM

"A kamikaze pilot crash lands on some island during World War II shortly after an Allied pilot crashes, both alive; hilarity ensues."

Oh how I love this. I love how specific you were, you didn't even take out small words. must have been a large sticky note. I have them all over my computer. Thanks for the tip about blog posts though. I think of them in the shower. Too bad they don't make waterproof stickys. I've actually thought of posts for a year, but it took me this long to do something about it. (I'm a slacker.) I'll give you back your advice to me last week, blog what you want, when you want and don't worry about the rest. Also, in a pinch, pictures of you with something on your head will work.

Posted by: Phoenix at May 22, 2007 3:34 PM

LOL I didn't know much about the Peppers and when I saw the Dani California vid clip for the first time, I thought they'd gotten Will Ferrel to play the drums in it. :\ D'oh!

As for annoying songs? Fergie's "Glamorous" bugs the ever living life right out of me and yet I can't stop listening to it. I hate that song passionately and hate it even more that it's on repeat in my head.

Posted by: erica at May 22, 2007 6:36 PM

yeah, i don't like the Amy Winehouse song either. I'd much rather listen to Lily Allen.

And umm...15 comments is a slow day? Luckily I only write for personal gratification and not external reinforcement.

Posted by: kalisah at May 22, 2007 8:57 PM

I'm dying to know what you had to say about milk. Fascinating, really.

Posted by: angela at May 22, 2007 9:29 PM

Oh my god. They really WERE separated at birth.


Posted by: Beth at May 22, 2007 10:54 PM

Oh my god. They really WERE separated at birth.


Posted by: Beth at May 22, 2007 10:54 PM

lol I love the tour of your random Post It notes. I personally have an office supply fetish (exotic office supplies? serious aphrodisiac) so I am constantly sticking them on everything.

Feel free to exploit this gimmick, as long as you bring the leather chaps and the raincoat. ;)

(and omg I'd just be happy to have 15 people visit my blog! ok, so maybe there are 15 people but I'm just not as exotic/interesting a knitting blogger as the Harlot!)

Posted by: Teenuh at May 22, 2007 10:57 PM

Yup. I actually leave voicemails for myself on my work phone. Sticky Notes. Brilliant.

And, I admit I like "Rehab," but the song I totally totally love on Winehouse's album is "Tears Dry In Their Own." Check it out. Get back to me.

And P.S., I was just giggling so much I had to read this post in it's entirety to Bryan in the next room while still trying to be quiet and not wake Declan up. So, high five.

Posted by: aimee/greeblemonkey at May 23, 2007 12:41 AM

oops, Tears Dry ON Their Own.

Posted by: aimee/greeblemonkey at May 23, 2007 12:42 AM

Whoa! (In my best Keanu)
Smith and are right on with that one!

Posted by: Nanette at May 23, 2007 3:40 AM

Whoa! (In my best Keanu)
Smith and are right on with that one!

Posted by: Nanette at May 23, 2007 3:40 AM

Now for the trifecta.

Posted by: Nanette at May 23, 2007 3:51 AM

I LIKE 'Rehab'. Mostly I like it when Sweet Pea sings it because a five-year-old singing about refusing to go to rehab is one of the things I find inappropriately funny.

Posted by: Stacy at May 27, 2007 9:39 PM