August 28, 2007

Name That Useless Knowledge!

My wife is embarrassed about something. In a pre-sleep conversation we had in bed the other night, she referenced something that she wishes she hadn't. By making said reference, she copped to knowing something she wouldn't otherwise readily admit she stored in her gray matter. It's up to you to decide what this thing is. Here are your choices:

a. Richard Marx's Hometown. Name-dropping is cool, unless the name you're dropping is that of Top 40 has-been Richard Marx. The singer who once called the top of the charts his home, hails from Winnetka, Illinois.

b. Holmes' Johnson. John Holmes', uh, little general, measured anywhere from 12 to 15 inches long, depending who you asked. You could, for one, ask Beth. She knows. Or at least seemed to when she made the reference.

c. Groove. In The Heart. It was bizarre. One minute she was lying there, the next she was reciting the complete lyrics from Deee-Lite's Groove Is In The Heart.

d. Logical, Captain. Dilithium Crystals. Yes, she referenced the fictional element which played a key role in the Star Trek universe enabling faster-than-light travel.

e. Cereal Killer. For some strange reason, Beth seems to know all about the major manufacturers of cereal - Post, General Mills and Kellogg's - to include which manufacturers make which popular breakfast cereals. She's like a cereal savant.

So, which one is it? What's Beth embarrassed to have you know that she knows? Uh, what? You know what I mean, right?

Posted by Chris at August 28, 2007 6:28 AM
Comments

Doesn't everyone know choice b?

I'm going to guess d, because that's a lot of good embarrassing things to choose from so I closed my eyes and pointed.

As a funny (at least to me) aside, the car I drove in high school had that Dee-lite tape stuck in the player, so if we wanted to listen to music we had to listen to that tape, so I do know all the words to Groove is in the Heart as well as many of their other songs.

Posted by: Jessie at August 28, 2007 7:20 AM

Aye, Captain! I'm givin' 'er all I can, but the dilithium crytals are crackin'!

Posted by: Jon (was) in Michigan at August 28, 2007 7:29 AM

I will put a vote in for D as well...

nice try at getting us to believe that you were in bed with your wife and, for some reason, she just needed to discuss the length of Mr. Holmes' member..."no, honey, John Holmes is tiny compared to you...ummm, er, so I've heard."

Posted by: jason at August 28, 2007 7:42 AM

It's got to be A or D. If she knows Spocks hometown that would be the worst.

Posted by: William at August 28, 2007 8:02 AM

You mean most people don't know these things?

Posted by: Maribeth at August 28, 2007 8:04 AM

Good question. She's been around us geeks long enough that I wouldn't be surprised if she referenced dilithium crystals. Although, Richard Marx's hometown is so completely random, even compared to the rest of the list, I can see her knowing that too :) A or D.

Posted by: Drew at August 28, 2007 8:34 AM

Good question. She's been around us geeks long enough that I wouldn't be surprised if she referenced dilithium crystals. Although, Richard Marx's hometown is so completely random, even compared to the rest of the list, I can see her knowing that too :) A or D.

Posted by: Drew at August 28, 2007 8:35 AM

Good question. She's been around us geeks long enough that I wouldn't be surprised if she referenced dilithium crystals. Although, Richard Marx's hometown is so completely random, even compared to the rest of the list, I can see her knowing that too :) A or D.

Posted by: Drew at August 28, 2007 8:36 AM

D or E is my guess.

Posted by: Traci at August 28, 2007 8:48 AM

I think its C.

Posted by: Linda at August 28, 2007 8:54 AM

My choice is D. Just cause...

Yeah, and I totally knew b too... as someone else said - doesn't everyone know b?! Creepy!

Posted by: Christina at August 28, 2007 9:03 AM

It's B) and she she shouldn't be embarrassed. This is the same law of averages that allows me to retain the complete biography and filmography of Axel Braun in my head.

Why?

No. Idea.

Posted by: Bridget at August 28, 2007 9:15 AM

Actually, I think she knows all of those, but the only one she let slip to you was 'A'.

Next time, have the conversation after she falls asleep. You'll find a lot more juicy tidbits that way (assuming she responds at all, of course).

Posted by: Ross at August 28, 2007 9:21 AM

The thrills that you spill on my back give me chills of satisfaction...
Ok, this is just a personal thing, but I can sing all of C, so I'm going with that. Because it's a good song, dammit. A song with a slide whistle that's funky! What's wrong with that?

Posted by: alektra at August 28, 2007 9:28 AM

You know, just the other day I was wondering whatever happened to Richard Marx. How I got on the subject was through flow of consciousness only, I swear! (Something along the lines of riding in a car with someone who kept wanting to talk with his hands as he was driving, which led to thinking of a RM lyric when, tormentedly, he sings, "I took my hands off the wheel ...")

So whatever happened to that guy???

Posted by: Eclecta at August 28, 2007 9:31 AM

I don't think knowing Dilithium Crystals is that much of a stretch for anyone who grew up watching TV...Star Trek was inevitably somewhere all the time, so you were bound to catch onto the engineering involved.

The lyrics to the Groove song are few and to the point, so knowing those wouldn't necessarily be shame-worthy. It would just mean that you were in high school/college when the song was pooped out and have a decent memory.

As always, I think the answer involves a penis.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at August 28, 2007 9:36 AM

I think she knows the cereal makers. I do and I'm only slightly embarrassed by it.

Posted by: donna at August 28, 2007 9:42 AM

I'm going to go with the cereal. Or Richard Marx's hometown.

Posted by: Stephanie at August 28, 2007 9:54 AM

I'm guessing either C or E.

Posted by: wordgirl at August 28, 2007 9:55 AM

C or D

Posted by: Jen at August 28, 2007 9:57 AM

Hey, I'm pretty sure I know all the words to Groove is in the Heart, so that can't be embarrassing. :)

I'm going with A. In-depth knowledge of Richard Marx is certainly something to be ashamed of.

Posted by: bad penguin at August 28, 2007 10:12 AM

I'm going with star trek.

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at August 28, 2007 10:25 AM

Well, if she's anything like my wife, it's D. She may not cop to it, but she loves StarTrek:TNG almost as much as I do.

Besides, Beth would totally own up to knowing who John Holmes was and that he had an enormous schlong.

Posted by: Brad at August 28, 2007 10:56 AM

It wasn't c, but I do know the words. In fact, I was singing it to myself just the other day.

And Mr. Spock's hometown was never identified.

Posted by: Mrs. Cactus at August 28, 2007 12:16 PM

I'm sure its Holmes' measurements. For a while I called my new Nephew "The Hedgehog" until someone told me who the real Hedgehog was actually a porn star. I had to quit calling my nephew that name and then thought about the source of such trivia...... wow!! I would have never known.

Posted by: Chantel at August 28, 2007 12:20 PM

I am voting "e" because seriously what's wrong with knowing most of the other things?

Posted by: Krush at August 28, 2007 12:25 PM

Richard Marx!

Posted by: Sphincter at August 28, 2007 12:28 PM

I think it is definately "E". That just sounds like something she would know. Don't ask me why I think that...I just do. Now do I win anything?
Hugs
Trish

Posted by: Trish at August 28, 2007 12:36 PM

you guys talk in bed?
egad!

Posted by: speck at August 28, 2007 12:46 PM

I vote for D also, although I have never been one to follow the crowd it seems the most likely!

Posted by: Jeff A at August 28, 2007 1:13 PM

My vote goes to B!

Posted by: GreenCanary at August 28, 2007 2:43 PM

Have you ever read your wife's blog? She has very few boundaries when it comes to disclosing embarrassing things. And thank god for that!!

Therefore, I am voting "F" None of the Above. Although knowing any details about Richard Marx would qualify as slightly embarrassing in my opinion.

Posted by: Trix at August 28, 2007 2:44 PM

My first guess is b. Second? C.

Posted by: motherofbun at August 28, 2007 3:15 PM

it has to be "d" - because i know the other 4, and i'm not actually embarrassed to know those things...

Posted by: ali at August 28, 2007 3:36 PM

B for beefcoaster and one ride I'm glad I will never be on.

Cheers,
JJ

Posted by: JJ at August 28, 2007 3:55 PM

Hmm not a clue but looking forward to finding out the answer!

Posted by: Heather at August 28, 2007 5:08 PM

I'm thinking either A or D.. the rest wouldn't be so embarrassing to me at least.. or maybe they should be and I should be embarrassed about the fact that I'm not embarrassed!

Posted by: molly at August 28, 2007 5:42 PM

I've gotta go with A. Don't know why, just because.

Posted by: ironic1 at August 28, 2007 5:58 PM

b ... only because it would be emberrassing to talk about with most people. But most people know that I think. "Wonderland" advertised it well.

Posted by: betty at August 28, 2007 7:20 PM

Groove is in the heart
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Groove is in the heart
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Groove is in the heart
Groove is in the heart
Ah-ah-ah

Posted by: Nadine at August 29, 2007 5:35 AM

Deee-lite rules!

Posted by: laura at August 29, 2007 4:18 PM

Seriously. I have the mp3 of Groove Is In The Heart, if you want a copy.

Posted by: aimee/greeblemonkey at August 29, 2007 6:38 PM


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