September 6, 2007
Search String Madness: Mimes, Mipples and What Happens In Aruba Stays In Aruba
It's been a while since I took a stroll through the old search logs. I'm reminded why - sometimes they scare me. Bad. But of course all the freaky people out there in the internetwebworld came through in providing a few amusing tidbits. See for yourself.
- Pahara dunes beach. Dude. Learn how to spell.
- I hate plumbing. Amen, my friend. I'm no lover of the pipe either these days.
- Mowing Cactus. Since we've gotten this new yard, that is, actually, my official new name.
- Excuses to get out of a meeting. Leprosy, raging case of herpes, stuck on the can all day, currently on fire. Take your pick.
- Did Simon Cowell invent the Teletubbies. Whether he invented them or not, I don't know. But he was responsible for getting them on television. You always knew he had a dark side, didn't you?
- Nutritional information big island donkey balls. 100% of your daily recommended allowance of island donkey balls. And no transfat!
- 2007 Aruba trip fuck sister in law husband drunk not go afraid to fly. That's an awfully specific search. I have no idea what you're talking about but it's suspiciously specific. What exactly happened in Aruba, dude?
- Where Miss Doxie. Right here, actually.
- Eat Crayons see a rainbow. You'd think. But really, all you do is poop wax.
- Excuses to leave earlier. Leprosy, raging case of herpes, stuck on the can all day, currently on fire...this sounds familiar.
- Came home to find my glove compartment open and the lite on. Why do you have a glove compartment in your house?
- Long mipples. You're the same bastard who was looking for "pahara dunes beach" aren't you? Spell-check anyone?
- Confessions of a dangerous mime. I'm sorry - this just cracked me up. As you probably know, the book and movie were called Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. But I can see the plot of this one - Confessions of a Dangerous Mime - He's a mime...and a stealthy killing machine!
- Asinine in a sentence. This search is asinine.
- Picture Ron Jeremy penis. Sweet lord of all that is good and holy, why in the name of Henry Winkler would you want to see that?
- Things i don't understand in life. People who want to see Ron Jeremy's junk, the Rolling Stones, dressing up like a woman when you're obviously a man and can't even be bothered to shave, why I get 500 channels and there's nothing to watch...
- Are Ikea mattresses good? For the first month. After that, a mattress of broken glass and used syringes would be more comfortable.
- Petite sex pics. Now, are these small pictures of people having sex, pictures of small people having sex, or pictures of normal sized people having small amounts of sex? Because there's a difference.