October 19, 2007

The Weeklies #7

How has another week passed already? Don't get me wrong - thank god its over because I couldn't do this for another day. But still, time flies...when you're working your ass off.

The Weekly Best Moment. When I regained my hearing. Honestly, that was bugging the shit out of me. You should have heard me chewing from inside my head. Not pretty.

The Weekly Worst Moment. Each of the 847,301 times I had to blow my nose this week.

The Weekly Annoyance. Mia has this CD that was given to her as part of a music class she attends. She loves it. Like, must have it on 24 hours a day. It is honestly one of the most god awful pieces of music I've ever heard. And I can't get it out of my head. I'll be sitting in my office or driving to work and I'll start humming a little tune and after a few minutes I'll realize it came from THAT DAMN CD! If I ever find the musicians who recorded this thing, I'm going to beat the hell out of them with an electric guitar and force them to listen to a non-stop AC/DC music marathon.

The Weekly Reads. This week, like last, I only managed to plow though one book - The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland. Coupland coined the term Generation X. Then he followed that generation through his novels. Generation X, in 2007, is a little older, either happy where they ended up or mourning lost opportunities. Coupland's latest novels are peopled with flawed, quirky and somewhat sad folks who are genuine yet entertaining. The Gum Thief is no different. It's a novel-within-a-novel, a series of correspondence between two (sometimes three) very different individuals, and a look at what happiness is. It's not Coupland's best but it is wonderful.

The Weekly Music. For the past couple of weeks, I've been grooving heavily to Porcupine Tree. They are one of my favorite bands playing today. The band, led by guitar mastermind Steven Wilson, is equal parts Pink Floyd and Tool with enough other elements to keep it interesting. Their latest - Fear of a Blank Planet is exceptional although their previous outings such as In Absentia and Deadwing are quite possibly their best. Steven Wilson is an insanely talented guitarist, vocalist and songwriter. And drummer Gavin Harrison is a monster.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Ellen DeGeneres goes to an animal rescue shelter, gets a dog and gives it to her hair stylist. When the rescue group finds this out, what do they do? Well, of course they barge into the hair stylist's house and, in front of her young daughter, remove the dog from the home and storm off. What. The. Fuck. Some of these animal people are nuts. Give Ellen the damn dog back and shut up already.

The Weekly Question. One day you find a magic charm. If you activate it, everyone will have to tell you the truth all day long. Do you use it? Or leave it alone? Why, or why not?

Posted by Chris at October 19, 2007 7:15 AM

To answer your question, Absolutely Not! No way I am activating that thing. Some things are best left unsaid.

I'm going to check out that book. It sounds really interesting.

Posted by: Alissa at October 19, 2007 8:07 AM

The truth? I can't handle the truth! Seriously, I would leave it alone. To have people tell me the truth all day? I think I may come out of it feeling less than great about myself. I can handle stuff like, "That color makes you look washed out" or "Your hair doesn't look good that way" - but when it comes down to it, I think I'm a fairly nice person, but prone to getting my knickers in a twist about things people say - I'm far too sensitive to be exposed to the full truth!

Posted by: Sarah at October 19, 2007 8:12 AM

I'm pretty sensitive, too, but I think I'd do it. I probably wouldn't if it were a long term thing, but for one day, I can deal. In fact, in that one day there's a few people I'd call and ask a few very specific questions!

Posted by: Heather at October 19, 2007 8:20 AM

I'd activate it...but for one day only. I'd hear more than I want to know about what people really think of me and could cross those 'friends' off my list. Only trouble is, would I have to tell the truth all day too???? Yikes! :-)

Have a super weekend with Mia and Beth...and no more snotty kleenexes!

Posted by: Tera at October 19, 2007 8:23 AM

I think I'd leave it alone. There are some things I don't really need to hear any more than I'd say them to someone else.

Have a great weekend.

Posted by: ann adams at October 19, 2007 8:31 AM

I may be in the minority but I'm a rules follower and if the contract stated they couldn't give the dog to anyone else...well...they broke the contract and no dog. Now do I think they should have barged in (as supposedly happened) and taken the dog? No, I think it could have been handled much better. I also don't think anyone deserves threats to their lives over it either and while Ellen didn't promote that, of course, she didn't help with going on her show, etc. That just gives someone on the edge of sanity and reasoning an excuse for bad behavior. She should have handled it privately.

Posted by: daisy at October 19, 2007 8:48 AM

i'd leave it alone because frankly I dont care what people have to say, true or not. but it might be fun to screw with people.....

Posted by: madmom at October 19, 2007 9:01 AM

You know, at first I was thinking "Leave it alone", since I'm pretty happy with not hearing the blunt truth in my personal life, but then I realized that I could just avoid friends and family for a day. I'll be much to busy meeting with my congressman and any other elected officials I can track down or get on the phone. You don't suppose George W. would answer if I called?

Posted by: J at October 19, 2007 9:23 AM

On the ear thing....I blew out my eardrum a few months back, and it took about 3 weeks for the ringing to stop in my ear.

Posted by: Rex at October 19, 2007 9:25 AM

Uh, yeah about the Ellen thing. Aren't there more important things happening in the world and in this country - can we say Dried up prune Atlanta??? Ellen made the news before that??!? WTF!?

Sorry about the cold - those suck. I am telling garlic in the ear works! You stink but it works!

As for the question - nope, no, absolutely NOT. I would not use it. 'Cause I really do not want to know and I would not want someone to know what I think... Plain and simple!

Posted by: Christina at October 19, 2007 9:28 AM

I think the curiousity would overtake me and I'd have to use it...but I'd be very careful who I would talk to and what I would ask.

Posted by: Susan at October 19, 2007 9:28 AM

No way would I activate it... I like to think people are telling me the truth already... and if they aren't I don't necessarily want to know about it... as someone else said "some things are better left unsaid"

B/C the truth can hurt...

Posted by: Stephanie at October 19, 2007 9:51 AM

Thats not really a fair account of what happened. Ellen adopted a dog from the place - the woman had strict rules for adoption. No adoption out to families with children and you could not re-gift an animal after you adopted it without permission of the shelter. The dog was not working out for ellen, so she gave it to her hairdresser, breaking both rules.

now, are those rules stupid? yes. does that matter? no
I like ellen, but then she uses her show to slander this woman
Now, i'm not saying the woman was totally in the right, because once the other family had the dog, maybe she should have sued ellen or something and not involved that family

Posted by: Darren at October 19, 2007 10:02 AM

I'm really not sure what I'd do. On one hand, I'd love to know what people really think, so I could get rid of those people who aren't true friends. On the other hand, though... the truth hurts, and sometimes I *don't* want to know. People are too immature, and I really don't know if I'd want to deal with listening to only the truths coming from some of them.

Posted by: Secha at October 19, 2007 10:14 AM

First, I played Cranium last night and Coupland came up. Funny coiencidence.

I think I'd leave it alone. That's fairly dangerous. I'm not in the business of lying, but some truths should absolutely be kept to oneself or sent through a tact filter before being shared. So unless the charm came with a tack filter, I think I'd pass.

Posted by: Jennie at October 19, 2007 10:31 AM

I believe there's a reason that human beings naturally lie. I would like to know the truth on the big stuff but, frankly, I don't need to hear the unvarnished truth on every detail surrounding me.

I've always meant to read Coupland but keep avoiding him. Would you recommend starting with Generation X or is there a better one to pick up first?

Posted by: Alias Mother at October 19, 2007 10:37 AM

Hmm, it would make for the worst day ever, I'm sure. But I would activate it. Truth hurts and all that, but I'm still curious. I really would like to know if these pants make my butt look big!

Probably would head right over to the white house/pentagon to activate it, could use some truth there! It would open pandoras box though...

Posted by: Colleen at October 19, 2007 10:42 AM

Little white lies are necessary for civilized discourse.

Posted by: Kelly at October 19, 2007 10:45 AM

I'm now going to buy Porcupine Tree's music because I have a contractual obligation with my brain to automatically love anything resembling Pink Floyd or Tool. The fact that you said this band is a combination of the two nearly made my head explode with glee.

Dammit, Chris! You and the deep questions! I originally felt that I'd terminate the charm with extreme prejudice, but then thought that forcing everyone to tell the truth might wake them up to the fact that they have a darker side to their nature. If it would alter the ideological narrow-mindedness inherent in our political and criminal-justice systems, then I would happily flip that switch, mix a stiff drink, then sit back and contentedly watch the chaos.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at October 19, 2007 10:49 AM

I would have to turn the charm on. I would have no choice. See, I have to *know*. That's just the way I am. And the entertainment value would be pretty high, if you think about it.

Posted by: alison at October 19, 2007 11:15 AM

Coupland is one of my all-time fave authors. I'm currently 186th in the queue for Gum Thief from our local library. He once autographed my friend's copy of Generation X with, "Hey Tom, thanks for helping me knock over that 7-11. Your pal, Doug."

I would so activate the magic charm, for the same reason I pick at scabs (physical and emotional). Curiousity killed the cat and the mommy blogger.

Posted by: DaniGirl at October 19, 2007 11:44 AM

Absolutely I'd use that thing. However, I'd be careful of the questions I asked and who I asked them of.

That would be pretty awesome... even learning the stuff about you that is hard to hear would be such a good experience in the long run.

Posted by: Brad at October 19, 2007 11:56 AM

Celebrities think they can get away with anything. Ellen should have handled the matter in private. She chose not to and that aint ok. If something happens to these women, then can we blame Ellen for going Public?

Also, I would use the power to hear the truth but only when if ever I was able not to take anything personal. I have been reading the 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and it has been working wonders. However, we never know.

Posted by: Katherine at October 19, 2007 12:05 PM

Celebrities think they can get away with anything. Ellen should have handled the matter in private. She chose not to and that aint ok. If something happens to these women, then can we blame Ellen for going Public?

Also, I would use the power to hear the truth but only when if ever I was able not to take anything personal. I have been reading the 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and it has been working wonders. However, we never know.

Posted by: Katherine at October 19, 2007 12:06 PM

Dude, I can totally check your blog from my work again...since I changed jobs and cities...YAY!!!

Posted by: Dee at October 19, 2007 12:17 PM

my husband loves porcupine tree. i like some of their songs. way mellow.

Posted by: you da mom at October 19, 2007 12:46 PM

Step away from the magic charm... I don't want to know what people *really* think of me. Best I continue living in my bubble.

Posted by: GreenCanary at October 19, 2007 1:10 PM

Extremely tempting . . . I might. But I like to think I have enough self-awareness to know I couldn't handle that level of honesty.

@J - genius strategy.

Posted by: Gwen at October 19, 2007 1:33 PM

The charm. I'll take it out somewhere in the middle of the Arctic and drop it in a very very deep hole.

I am perfectly happy living with reality I have created from what people told me, thank you very much. :)

Posted by: oakley at October 19, 2007 1:54 PM

Chris Cactus likes Porcupine Tree? What a prickly relationship!

Posted by: b32 at October 19, 2007 3:07 PM

I'd activate it then hold grudges for a long, long time.

Posted by: Shelly at October 19, 2007 3:26 PM

Douglas Coupland will never suck. He is my heart's one true love.

And the magic charm? Hell no. I'd never, ever use that.

Posted by: Mr Lady at October 19, 2007 3:49 PM

leave the charm alone, sometimes the truth hurts............

Posted by: SleepyNita at October 19, 2007 4:59 PM

Re: Ellen, both parties handled the situation poorly. Ellen signed a contract to return the dog to the rescue group and she should have done that. Adoption groups usually have a stipulation like that because there is usually a pretty involved screening process to make sure the home is in good condition for the dog and that the dog is the right fit for the adopter, or else you have the ASPCA busting in these run-down homes like on Animal Cops...

My wife and I foster ex-racing greyhounds, and the screening process for adopters is very comprehensive actually. Potential adopters have to provide references, have a home visit, and have to read a couple of books on the breed. We do not adopt out to homes that have children under six because greyhounds are not socialized as puppies to children and do have the potential to nip or snap at a child that has inadvertently invaded its space and the dog feels threatened.

I'm not sure about the breed in question, (but I think it was small and fluffy) but I'm sure the rescue group has a similar screening process and it is there for a reason. That being said, if this new family really wanted to keep the dog, if I was the rescue group, I would have done a home visit to the new home just to make sure it was suitable for both dog and family. From what I saw it seemed like a decent enough family; not an excuse to not return the dog to the group though, but it didn't seem like it needed the drama of having the animal being forcibly removed from the home.

And what really burned me is that I heard the group turned around and adopted out the dog pretty much the next day. I'm sure the new adopters weren't properly screened that fast, and/or just wanted the dog because it's now famous.

Porcupine Tree: great stuff. Chris, thanks for the intro to them a while back, I had picked up some more of their stuff not long after that. Truth Charm: Sure, I think I would use it, only for a day.

Posted by: Drew at October 19, 2007 5:11 PM

Yeah the entire dog thing just pisses me off. You know how I feel about dogs!

Posted by: Maribeth at October 19, 2007 7:08 PM

I'm too damned curious NOT to use it. I'll be sorry about that later.

Posted by: wordgirl at October 19, 2007 7:13 PM

I bet Kleenex loves you with the 847,301 nose blows! Glad you've regained your hearing. :o)

I don't think I'd use the charm (I love this question, by the way). I feel like I have pretty open communication with everyone I know. If I have an opinion and you ask me for it? I'll give it to you. More often than not, I'll forego the sugar coating. I expect everyone to do the same with me, but I know that they probably don't. If someone keeps the truth (either all of it or part of it) from me, they have their reasons. I feel like they're entitled to them.

Posted by: Emily at October 19, 2007 10:49 PM

At about your daughter's age, my daughter had a very favorite Pete Seeger CD that we listened to so much I'd find myself thinking I was hearing it when it wasn't even playing (also, waking up in the middle of the night humming tunes from it). Perhaps someday I'll once again be able to think of Pete Seeger with some kind of fondness, but not yet.

Posted by: nrp at October 19, 2007 11:18 PM

Didn't they just ask the hairstylist to fill out the paperwork for the pet adoption and she refused? The whole thing sounds like a publicity ploy...but it's working.

Posted by: Shawn at October 20, 2007 12:27 PM

I hate when I hear myself chew. Or brush my teeth. Or even talk-I mean, do I really sound like that? I hope not. Be thankful your Mia didn't grow up with Barney-seriously, I can still recite that shit and it's been damn near 12 years mmkay?

Now onto your question:
Oh hell yeah. Bring it. I am so gonna ask all the questions that eat away at me. Not those "do these jeans make my butt look big?" questions because as we all know, it's a big ass...no reason to put myself through all that torture.

But there are more pressing questions like...

-Who stole the Limburg baby?
-I need some serious answers to these troubling math questions-fess up or die.
-To my children-which one of you keeps raiding all the change out of my car, wallet, change jar from my bedroom??

Oh I could go on. But I'd activate that charm...

Posted by: kimmyk at October 20, 2007 10:56 PM

I would activate it because I? Am a glutton for punishment. And am nosy. Combined, these are evil super powers.

Posted by: Cassandra at October 21, 2007 12:58 AM

Have you seen Everything's Gone Green? It's the first movie of Coupland's that wasn't taken from one of his books.

Posted by: jessica fantastica at October 24, 2007 6:14 AM

I received my first credit loans when I was a teenager and this helped my relatives a lot. But, I require the commercial loan as well.

Posted by: RoxiePETERS23 at August 18, 2011 11:42 PM