November 5, 2007

The Weekend (And Some Stats)

Being Monday, it's time for two things:

1. Mourning the passing of the weekend;
2. Getting my ass to work; and
3. Recapping the weekend.

Yes, I know I said two things but it's early and I don't do math in the mornings no matter how simple.

Anyway, bitching about how fast the weekend flew would be really boring to read unless I came up with brand new combinations of curse words. I'm not that creative right now. So I'll skip that. And really, unless I was abducted by aliens or picked up a hitchhiking Liza Minelli on the way to work, a long rambling narrative about getting to work would be boring as well. I'll skip that too. That leaves me with one remaining option - recapping the weekend.

Friday night, my old high school (the one I now live close to) played it's last home game of the season. One last time to catch a football game and witness the stunning half-time show. (I say that with a truckload of sarcasm because honestly, the band kinda blows. Their regrettable lack of talent isn't helped by the fact that their entire half-time show is cobbled together from pieces by Shostakovich. They really shouldn't be playing anything more complex than Kool & The Gang covers.) And Mia does love the marching band. So we blew off bedtime, caught a little football and reveled in the shostakovichy goodness.

Saturday morning found us at the mall. (God damn, we're thrilling people.) I went on the hunt for new slacks (I'm sorry but when I use the word slacks I feel about 85 years old) and wound up buying a few new shirts instead. Mia enjoyed the mall as well and Beth exchanged some pants. (You're absolutely, edge-of-your seat fascinated at this point, aren't you?). I spent the afternoon mowing, edging and cleaning up the yard in anticipation of winter. Then? Takeout for dinner.

Sunday was equally as thrilling. I finally got up off my ass and replaced light fixtures. Goodbye 80's brass light fixtures, hello modern goodness. Then Mia woke up cranky from a nap, my parents dropped by and we had a nice dinner of homemade minestrone soup.

(You so want to hang out with us now don't you?)

The Weekend Numbers: In case you're playing at home, here are the stats for the weekend:
- Fixtures changed: 6
- Diapers changed: 867 (an approximation, don't ask)
- Takeout dinners: 2
- Episodes of Little Einsteins watched: 4
- Marching bands watched: 1
- Good marching bands watched: 0
- Hours of work done: 0
- Acres of yard mowed: 29.4 (but really 0.5)
- Pounds of Halloween candy consumed: 37

What are your weekend stats like?

Posted by Chris at November 5, 2007 6:22 AM

You know, amazingly enough, I still kinda do want to hang out with you guys ;) Mia's cuteness would more than make up for those less than thrilling moments. And if you're anywhere near as witty in person, I'll be too busy laughing to care.

Posted by: Heather at November 5, 2007 7:06 AM

I would *so* hang out with you guys!

My weekend? One crabby kid (and one nice one), one time-change, and I'm almost glad it's Monday.


Posted by: Alissa at November 5, 2007 8:12 AM

Assorted plants, shrubs and bushes trimmed back for the winter = 40
Brown bags of leaves raked up = 12
Loads of laundry washed, folded & put away = 8 (for the second time this week, and there's only two of us)
Cocktails = 2 (big girl drinks)
Take out dinner = 1
Made at home dinner = 1
Sunday breakfast thanks to hubby = 1
All in all, a pretty good weekend. Monday's suck.

Posted by: Dawn at November 5, 2007 8:28 AM

1. Dinners cooked 3
2. cleaning hours spent 6
3. packing time 4-5 hours and little done.
4. party given 1.
5. hours slept 12
6. laundry done 6 loads
7. etc.

Posted by: Maribeth at November 5, 2007 9:03 AM

Attempts to fix PC: 15 or so
Successful attempts: 2
Successful permanent attempts: 0
Beers consumed in the process: far too many
Curses emitted: countless
Bathroom sinks unclogged: 1 (dreadful chore)
Plants brought in from the cold: 4
Leaky shower fixed: 1
Dollars spent at the grocery store: 144
Impromptu happy hours hosted: 1
Football games played: 1
Football games lost: 1 (32-14, but well played, nonetheless)
Football games watched: about 1/10th of the Pats-Colts game, about 9/10ths less than I'd hoped
7-year-old's birthday parties attended instead of watching that game: 1
Nerf tosses with my son: about 1000

Would I do it all over again rather than be sitting here at work? Absolutely, if only just to relive the Nerf tossing.

Posted by: Jeff St Real at November 5, 2007 9:06 AM

slacks... tee hee and your shopping experience sounds a lot like mine only I'm girl and isn't pant shopping supposed to be a breeze for men? Hmm, maybe I have been wrong all these years. At least you don't need to content with the skinny jean (or least I do not think men do... GAWD I hope not.) I digress.

Stats, stats...

1 acupuncture appt (2 of 2)
1 wonderful trip to the library with my son
1 living room dusted and tidied up (plus 5 windows windexed FINALLY)
2 nights in a row our kid went to sleep on time (said knocking hardily on wood)
2 trips to the mall (to exchange jeans, looks for winter time Crocs, and a visit to Target)
SERIOUSLY, ZERO meltdowns (Matthew was SO charming all weekend)
5 loads of laundry completed, folded and put away
3 hours spent quietly cleaning the house while Kevin & Matthew shopped for b-day/xmas gifts

I know there is more but I will stop b/c we actually did a lot this weekend.

Posted by: Christina at November 5, 2007 9:08 AM

ooohhhh.... I know about those diaper changes from Beth. I've been comparing notes on Zoe and Mia. They seem to be in the same predicament.

Posted by: Colleen at November 5, 2007 9:21 AM

Pants, Chris, just say pants. "Slacks" makes me think of old guys with their belts up under their armpits.

My stats:

Number of out-of-town visitors for weekend: 1
Number of wolfhounds she brought with her:2
Number of peanut butter sandwiches stolen from Rachel's plate by wolfhounds: 1
Number of ecstatic children with doggies/horses to play with: 2
Number of bottles of wine consumed (by adult humans): 3
Number of amazing spaghetti-and-meatball dinners made and enjoyed: 1

Posted by: alison at November 5, 2007 9:41 AM

Slacks is one of those words I refuse to use- just say pants...slacks is icky. As is blouse. And panties. And moist. *shudders*

I'd totally hang out with y'all....your weekend was as exciting as mine.

Rooms cleaned: 5
Stores visited: 5
Money spent: I may faint if I add it up
Loads of laundry completed: 6
Books read:0
Movies watched:1
Meals cooked: 1
Sunday night meetings at work attended: 1

Posted by: Lisa at November 5, 2007 9:45 AM

Laundry, cooking, cleaning and sitting on my ass. You don't have to say it. I know you're jealous ;-)

Posted by: Maria at November 5, 2007 10:31 AM

Slacks is one of my most hated words along with trousers, boogers, c&nt and blouse.

Posted by: tuesday at November 5, 2007 10:55 AM

Number of trips to Vegas: 1
Number of celebrity sightings while in Vegas: 64
Number of bonafidecelebrity sightings while in Vegas: 0
Number of vodka tonics consumed: 53
Number of blisters on feet from meandering along the strip: 6
Number of times I referred to my colleagues as "my bitches": 6
Number of dirty looks I got from calling my colleagues "my bitches": 6
Number of emergency plane landings due to lack of fuel: 1
Number of times I almost shat myself because of an emergency plane landing due to lack of fuel: 1

Weekend overall? PRICELESS.

Posted by: GreenCanary at November 5, 2007 11:19 AM

I too ate too much candy - Damn those Take 5 candy bars!

We actually took all 3 kids to church, that was an experience! Keep in mind, all three kids are under 5.

Drank a few beers, watched some football and that is about it.

Posted by: slinger at November 5, 2007 11:30 AM

My weekend stats are equally thrilling:

Number of hours spent in bed: approximately 24
Number of hours spent on the couch: approximately 20
Number of relatives that visited: 3
Number of La-z-Boys purchased: 1
Number of meals cooked from scratch: 0
Number of times I coughed: 1,000,000+
Number of episodes of Entourage watched: 8

Posted by: Jessie at November 5, 2007 11:34 AM

Number of bags of leaves raked: 9
Number of rotten pumpkins we cleaned off the front porch: 4
Number of candy wrappers we found all over the lawn: 24
Number of little girl b-day parties we went to: 1 too many
Number of times we questioned ourselves on what clocks we did or did not change due to the time change: 984

Posted by: Jen at November 5, 2007 11:48 AM

I spent the vast majority of the weekend with a Very Large, Very Old, and Possibly Dying Dog. (I was suckered into dog-sitting).


Evenings out: 2
Evenings ended early so I could go home and make sure poor puppy didn't die: 2
Days spent with Dog: 2
Dog poop picked up: 22
Nice walks on a sunny fall morning: 1
Cold walks on a cloudy fall morning: 1
Dogs still alive in my care when the owner showed up: 1

I think your weekend wins!

Posted by: Noelle at November 5, 2007 12:57 PM

Number of eyelids burned by aesthetician attempting to wax eyebrow: 1
Dollars I still tipped her because I didn't realize til I got home that it was burnt and not just sore from the wax: 5
Trips to Starbucks:1
How many cappuccinos it would have taken for me to function fully this weekend: 26
Number of times I lost my mind this weekend: 1 (because I never did find it again)
How many times I cursed the TimeChange when my kids were up before 6 a.m. on Sunday: 1603
Football games watched: 1
Number of times my Beloved Wolverines beat the stupid Spartans: 1 (which is all I needed!!!!)

Posted by: Sarah at November 5, 2007 1:18 PM

Shostakovich? For a mediocre high school marching band? That's nuts!

If I remember correctly, I believe our marching band in high school stayed strictly Top 40.

Posted by: Librarian Girl at November 5, 2007 1:42 PM

I could use one of those kinds of weekends. For about a month. :)

Posted by: sue at November 5, 2007 2:13 PM

Trips to San Francisco - 1

# of crazy bus drivers on Bay Bridge - 1
(next time I'll get off the train early and catch BART in).
He wanted to look at my camera (to count the pixels) which was fine until he took both hands off the wheel to do it. "Excuse me sir, shall I drive while you play with the camera?"

# of toilet stories to almost compare with your's - 1
(the person who successfully got around the time limit on the free portapotty at Powell & Market by opening the door long enough to throw out an article of clothing; thereby extending his time another 20 minutes. I didn't hang around for the entire striptease.

Perfect line by a train conducter - 1
"would the person who left his bike parked upside down in front of the luggage rack please contact the conductor? I'd like to tell him were he can park his bike".

Time spent with my two blogging buddies and their families eating takeout Chinese and yakking - priceless!! (Even though the other two out of towners couldn't make it).

Posted by: ann adams at November 5, 2007 2:35 PM

Does Beth stand by with a wooden stick to save you from electrocution when you change light fixtures? I do that for my husband, and he laughs at me.

of course, the very reason he can laugh is that he is alive. because he didn't get electrocuted.

Posted by: Vaguely Urban at November 5, 2007 3:16 PM

Limo rides taken: 2, if you count before and after dinner separately.

Seven-course dinners eaten: 1

"40th Birthday" parties attended: 1

Hours spent playing Guitar Hero III: ~4

Songs completed: 30

Glasses of wine consumed: ~8

Bottles of beer consumed: ~8

Hangovers had: 0

Lots of other cool stuff happened, too. Those were just some of the highlights. Crazy, huh? I never knew how fun life could be after the kids grew up! :)

Your weekend sounded delightful though. And I love marching bands - even mediocre Shostakovichy-y ones.

Posted by: Trix at November 5, 2007 6:12 PM

Seriously, I think you just re-capped my weekend. Except the high school football. "Our" team is out - never even got close to play-offs, and the regular season has been done for 2 weeks.

Trips to Home Depot: 1 (miraculous, ain't it?)
Paint chips acquired: 34
Swiffer cloths used: 5
Swiffer cloths used by toddler . . . appropriately: 2 (another miracle)
Circles run around mommy: 3,274,986
Panera hot chocolates consumed: 2
Portillo's hot dogs consumed: 3
Portillo's hot dogs consumed by toddler: 1

Posted by: kate at November 5, 2007 8:39 PM

Hours spent with my ex-husband: 5 (all enjoyable)
Trips to the grocery store: 3
Items still not acquired at the store: 8
Weight Watchers Points counted: 9,438 (rough estimate)
Telephone calls: 27
Emails: 93 (after which I stopped counting)
Light bulbs replaced: 3
Hours spent sleeping: 19
Minutes spent freaking out because of all the things that needed to get done that totally never even came into the picture: 0

Posted by: Emily at November 6, 2007 3:13 PM

I really don't have any weekend stats, but I do lay claim to enhancing the meaning of boredom on weekends! I'm a first timer here via Roc Rebel Granny. I like what I see. Very much!

Posted by: The Future Was Yesterday at November 7, 2007 2:18 AM