November 7, 2007

Revelations

Have you ever played that game where you take a word and repeat it over and over in your head? As it makes its way through the twists and turns in your brain, the word - whatever word it is - starts to fly apart, to become something else, to sound strange.

Last night I was sitting at the dinner table eating, gazing at my beautiful little girl. After a few minutes of staring, I was struck with a revelation - this is my little girl. This beautiful little person sitting there munching on pasta covered with an insane amount of parmesan cheese, this little girl who had just, mere minutes before ran around the house screaming at the top of her lungs that I had a penis, this little girl who found Beth's old Babar and Celeste dolls which she now calls Du-bar and Castanets, this little girl who is no longer little, who has opinions and thoughts and dreams of her own...this little girl is my daughter. Holy shit, how did this happen? And how did I get so damn lucky?


I know this shouldn't be a revelation. I'm a relatively observant guy. I didn't just discover I had a kid. I helped create her and she's been a massive part of my life for almost two and a half years. But life's kinda like words. Taken as a whole it can feel overwhelming but often quite ordinary. Let it make its way through the twists and turns of your brain, let it fly apart into the sum of its parts and some things start to seem pretty incredible.

What kind of revelations have you had?

Posted by Chris at November 7, 2007 7:01 AM
Comments

Funny you talk about revelations...my parents were in town for a birthday dinner last night and took some time to give us a hand with a few baby-related things. Specifically, they brought over a dresser that we're going to use and my Dad accompanied MD to pick up a stroller we'd ordered about a month prior.

Because men are men...they couldn't wait to put it together....which was easy...and then, when it was done...we all kinda sat silently each of us having similar a similar revelation....there really IS going to be a baby in our house in the New Year.....WOW

Dog, on the other hand, had a revelation of his own...life is never going to be the same. He howled at the stroller for 20+ mins....then he avoided it like the plague...I think it's gonna be a bit of an adjustment for him!

Posted by: wn at November 7, 2007 7:39 AM

Hey Chris...my big revelation is that Mia has expensive taste. Thats your $250 shirt she's dressed up in, isn't it?! Mwahhhahaahah...

Happy Wednesday!

Posted by: Tera at November 7, 2007 7:58 AM

I sometimes suffer from what Michael Palin calls "attacks of bliss". I am doing whatever it is I am doing and suddenly it strikes me that I am happy with my life. Just a few seconds flash.

Like this morning when within twenty minutes I got invited to a party thrown by some good friends and then by another friend to a concert.

Nothing as substantial as realizing you have kids, just small moments of realizing what a lucky life I lead. It's the small things.

Posted by: mikkie at November 7, 2007 8:05 AM

I'm wondering the same thing as Tera. And I think the last revelation I had was a couple days ago at a funeral - that it didn't have to be sad, that she was so well loved and honoured, and that someday, I want to go out like that.

Posted by: Heather at November 7, 2007 8:10 AM

My daughter is seven .... and I still have those moments on almost a weekly basis!

Posted by: betty at November 7, 2007 8:16 AM

It's good to be male. Especially when you have to pee. Out in the woods. Sorry, my revelation wasn't as deep, just nice to have.

Posted by: David at November 7, 2007 8:16 AM

Is that a 250 dollar shirt? You should let her use it as a smock. Smo, now ther is a word to run through your head.

Posted by: William at November 7, 2007 8:32 AM

In the very very near future, my pets will stop being the cutest things in my house, I will have to settle on a baby name ("crazy" or "traditional"?) and the tiny person kicking my ribs from the inside will become a noisy, tiny person kicking me from the outside.

Posted by: Betti at November 7, 2007 9:16 AM

this happened to me last night, except, the words were: seven weeks.

(til the new baby comes.)

Posted by: b. at November 7, 2007 9:29 AM

I had a similar one. It was the realization that she loves me like only a daughter could love her daddy. It's unique, it's amazing, and it gave my life clarity and direction at a time when both came into question. How do you tell your daughter that she gave your life new meaning? I guess you don't, you just tickle her and hug her and kiss her goodnight.

Posted by: Brad at November 7, 2007 9:30 AM

That even though life is not always fair, life is beautiful!

Posted by: Maribeth at November 7, 2007 9:30 AM

My revelations:

Holy Schnikies, I've got TWO kids!

God help me, I'm the "The Man"! When did I become "The Man"???

I can't believe my son is 6yrs old, and yet amazingly, I haven't aged a day.

Posted by: Varinia at November 7, 2007 10:03 AM

I realized how unhappy I was as a very capable and highly-sought after military type in May of 2004. This was immediately followed by something horrible and surreal, which ushered in a year of very, very deep introspection. Then after it was all over, I started grad school, making poverty wages, and loving every minute of it. Had God not picked me up and thrown me off of one path and onto this one, I'd be living and working probably in your neck of the woods, being saluted by interesting people, and hating every minute of it. Revelation: Sometimes we're not that good at knowing what's best for us.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at November 7, 2007 10:29 AM

Life really is easier in black and white. It's staying in grey areas that get you in trouble.

It's okay to let your kids fail.

Jewelry really does make the outfit.

Posted by: Pammer at November 7, 2007 11:13 AM

My revelation came when I wrote a note to my 11-year-old son, and signed it "Dad". Huh. I'm a dad! When did that happen?

Posted by: Steve Boyko at November 7, 2007 12:01 PM

Having only been a mom 10 weeks, (if you don't count the 9 months of pregnancy) each day I have little moments - like when I am rocking my son to sleep or when he smiles up at me from his crib - where it hits me that my entire life has changed forever.. and for the better.

Posted by: Claire at November 7, 2007 12:13 PM

I'm pretty much the same. My revelation was when I realized that ME...the person who was never having kids... ME... I have four kids. FOUR. Four wonderful adults who actually LIKE ME and who I actually LIKE. (Loving is a given).

It's a great thing.

Then I stop and realize I'm almost 51 and where the hell did all the time go? I still feel 30... *sigh*

Posted by: sue at November 7, 2007 1:00 PM

Odd when you think about it for too long isn't it?
Me..
I"m thinking that it is really amazing that the human body can create this much snot.

Posted by: Nat at November 7, 2007 1:23 PM

I have those same moments, Chris. I look around and I realize I live in a house. A house that is bigger than the one I grew up in. I focus on a table and I wonder, "how did we get this table?". "This chair?" "This lamp". Then one of my sons lumbers in or the one in college calls home and I hear his deep voice and I cannot reconcile any of it with the little boys who ate cereal in their pajamas while watching "Sesame Street". It thrills me and makes me sad and grateful and full of wonder...all at the same time. Lucky indeed.

Posted by: wordgirl at November 7, 2007 1:42 PM

I have those same moments, Chris. I look around and I realize I live in a house. A house that is bigger than the one I grew up in. I focus on a table and I wonder, "how did we get this table?". "This chair?" "This lamp". Then one of my sons lumbers in or the one in college calls home and I hear his deep voice and I cannot reconcile any of it with the little boys who ate cereal in their pajamas while watching "Sesame Street". It thrills me and makes me sad and grateful and full of wonder...all at the same time. Lucky indeed.

Posted by: wordgirl at November 7, 2007 1:42 PM

Lately, my revelations have been that the BFF is REAL and a real part of my life. The first year of our friendship was solely online and it still blows me away that I met this person randomly and now she is such a huge, huge part of my life. It's tough to imagine how I survived all those years before we met!

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at November 7, 2007 3:08 PM

Well I'm glad it wasn't you running through the house screaming that you have a penis. That revelation would be a little late in coming, eh? My recent revelation was that I'm going to be a wife sometime in the near future. Me, a wife to somebody? Holy shit. Does that mean I'm a grown-up too?

Posted by: at November 7, 2007 5:21 PM

Declan said something to me tonight, and I could hear what his voice will sound like as an adult in the way he said it.

Freaked my shit right out.

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at November 7, 2007 8:45 PM

Sometimes Nick will look at me all of a sudden and say "when did another actual person start living here with us? where's our baby?" It's all so strange how it goes so fast... and how they really do suddenly become "people" not just cute little baby blobs.

Posted by: Colleen at November 7, 2007 9:24 PM

Hmmm I just had a similar one regarding my youngest niece. In the past two months she's become a pre-schooler and not much of a toddler anymore. It was neat and sad all at the same time.

I love those pics of Mia, she really is getting big. Some days I can see why people have bunches of kids. You miss the little-ness of them, as they get bigger and more independent.

Posted by: Phoenix at November 7, 2007 11:18 PM

I don't blame you. She does kinda rock.

Posted by: Peggy at November 7, 2007 11:42 PM

My revelations are more like "Wow this is my kid, and he just fed me his boogers and I didn't even barf."

Thats what it is like this week anyways.

Posted by: SleepyNita at November 8, 2007 12:28 AM

Since I'm sick right now, my relevation yesterday and this morning was "HOLY SHIT! Tile is cold."

Posted by: Maria at November 8, 2007 9:01 AM

It's amazing, isn't it? And I'm only a week in. Kids -- incredible.

Posted by: Nathan Pralle at November 8, 2007 10:12 AM

That I pretty much sleepwalked through the past 3 weeks leading up to my Big Gala on Tuesday. I spent Tuesday night at the hotel and finally walked in the house last night. It felt like it was the first time I actually saw my apartment and Brandon in a very long time. A very, very strange feeling.

Posted by: oakley at November 8, 2007 11:27 AM

I have revelations like that all the time. Especially since they're growing and changing so much these days. They're constantly showing a new side of who they are and I'm constantly discovering new things about them. It's great.

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