December 14, 2007

The Weeklies #15

Another week, my friends. Another week.

The Weekly Best Moment. Last night Beth and I were getting Mia ready to bed. She told us she wanted to lick us. And she did. Then we licked her back. There's pretty much nothing better than a lick-war.

The Weekly Condiment. Mustard.

The Weekly Reads. I was underwhelmed by the two books I read this week - Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs and Brad Land's Goat. Don't get me wrong - I dig Klosterman and I'll read anything he writes. His knowledge of pop culture is vast and his writing is excellent. But this collection of essays didn't grab me like his others did. Goat was another non-fiction read, a brief memoir about two random incidents of violence that befall Land - a carjacking and fraternity hazing. The problem? It didn't fit together very well. No connections between the events are drawn and in a book that's only 200 pages long, yo'd expect some connection otherwise, why bother? Nothing about it was particularly compelling or surprising. It was oddly written in a way that seemed more like stream of consciousness or random ramblings than coherent writing. Check out the Klosterman book but forget about Goat.

The Weekly Time-Waster. Bloxorz. Seriously. You'll be addicted.

The Weekly Music. I've been working my ass off this week. I didn't have a chance to listen to much at all but I am rather proud of myself that I went back and checked out Ongiara by Great Lake Swimmers, an album I downloaded many moons ago. I didn't particularly like it at first. I didn't hear anything that immediately separated it from anything else I'd picked up at the time. But I was, in retrospect, wrong. Ongiara is a beautiful album. It's hard to label. It's less alt-country than alt-bluegrass. Pedal steel and banjos punctuate the airy, acoustic feel to the album. It's powerful and fragile at the same time. And worth the purchase price.

The Weekly Worst Television Show To Ever Be Broadcast. Ever. Seriously. Crowned. I have never watched anything quite this bad. Actually, I've never even watched anything half this bad. This is seriously the shittiest thing that has ever been broadcast yet I couldn't stop watching.

The Weekly Schadenfreude. What do Roger Clemens, Jason Giambi, David Justice, Andy Pettitte, Gary Sheffield, and Miguel Tejada all have in common? Well, they're baseball players, of course, but more importantly they were all just shortlisted for a very dubious distinction. They were named in George Mitchell's report about steroid use in baseball. I wonder which game is America's greatest, baseball or injecting steroids in your ass.

The Weekly Question. You are granted the power of invisibility. What's the first thing you do with this power?

Posted by Chris at December 14, 2007 7:28 AM

Flip the bird to my bosses!!! Moon my bosses!!!! Flash my bosses!!!! Listen in on my bosses!!!! Bad day at work anyone???

Posted by: Dawn at December 14, 2007 8:41 AM

First thing I'd do? Leave work :D

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at December 14, 2007 8:42 AM

Heh. Lick-war. I used to do that with Dillon and Mac, but now they're teenagers and they taste funny.

Answer: Sneak into my neighbor's houses and check them out. I live in an historical neigborhood and the homes are Old and Gorgeous. And Giganic. Except mine.

Posted by: Paige at December 14, 2007 9:01 AM

Oooh - I really don't like it when my kid licks me! She says, "I'm a baby puppy! I'm licking you!" (That is often followed by "You're the mama doggy, I'm licking you!").

Invisible... god. I can't even think of what I would do. I am not a sneaky kind of person, and I don't want to see/hear what people do behind my back, so I would probably just spend the day at a movie theater watching everything for free.

Posted by: sarah at December 14, 2007 9:09 AM

I would listen in when my hubby and friends hubby's get together!

Posted by: Pol at December 14, 2007 9:09 AM

I'd get in my friend's convertable and drive through town with the top down.

Posted by: Jeff St Real at December 14, 2007 9:19 AM

It's an amazing ability... my to-do list would be long. I think first and foremost I'd go to the White House and see what's really going on. It'd be great to find out everyone's secrets and see if there's something I could do about the state of the world. I'd kill Bin Laden too because I think he'd be easier to find if I could listen in on any conversation without being detected. That'd be worth learning Arabic.

On a more personal level, I'd love to follow around people I know and see what their days are like... who they interact with, flirt with, etc.

I might, just maybe if I have time, stop by Jessica Alba's house.

Posted by: Brad at December 14, 2007 9:50 AM

You have quite a community going here. Amazing! If I had this power, I would travel to PA to see how my son's biological mother is doing. We adopted my son at birth. I got very close with his b-mom during the pregnancy. After, she decided she did not want any contact with us, him. Her life is all sharp angles and bones. She is so bruised, vunerable, lost, hurting. I'd like to sneak into her life and find a way to make it better. I'd leave flowers, fix the leaky pipes, do something simple, honest, try to show her she is love. It would be the least I could do to honor the woman who gave me my life back by placing my son in my arms. Sigh..

Thanks for providing a place for me to share that one.

Peace out!

Posted by: kelly at December 14, 2007 9:54 AM

Become invisible. Duh.

Also, remember that thing I said earlier this week about you being the reason there was as of yet no cure for cancer? Bloxorz. Thanks. Not. Helping.

I listened to one of Ongiara's songs and it looks like you've once again excelled at being a band's 'marketing guy', because I'll be buying it. Where do you buy your music, because iTunes m4p crap has made my life miserable since switching over to Linux. Does eMusic only have indie labels? Any other online mp3 music factories?

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at December 14, 2007 9:57 AM

I'd just be.

Posted by: Poppy at December 14, 2007 10:08 AM

a nap.
because no would could disturb me.

Posted by: ali at December 14, 2007 10:56 AM

I would invisibly play Bloxorz all day long.

Posted by: GreenCanary at December 14, 2007 11:04 AM

Were I invisible, the first thing I would do is go see what my kids act like at school when I am not there.

The teachers say they are good, but I find it hard to believe.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at December 14, 2007 11:16 AM

First off, I love me some mustard. Good choice. If I could be invisible, I guess I'd (as boring as it sounds) just walk around town and see what it would be like. The cheese would be if anything I touched became invisible too, because then I'd rob a bank. No no, just kidding. It's sort of a useless power unless you want to steal or spy on a locker room.

Posted by: Claire at December 14, 2007 11:25 AM

i love the great lake swimmers- that album is amazing!

but i can see how it might take time to grow on a person. i think i loved it immediately because i grew up wedged between a great lake and a great lake wannabe [georgian bay, which, by all rights, ought to be considered great and a lake, because it's one HUGE body of water] and i think there's something in the music that mirrors the influence that much water has on the surrounding land. it sounds like the way home feels.

and i have no idea what i would do if i were invisible.

Posted by: meg at December 14, 2007 11:34 AM

The Weekly Best Moment: The end of each day. It has been that rough.

The Weekly Condiment: Garlic. It is a comfort food for me. :-)

The Weekly Worst: The start of each day and that I have to work all weekend.

The Weekly Question: Invisible me would go to as many "photography forbidden" places as possible and shoot and shoot and shoot.

Have a great weekend.

Posted by: Maria at December 14, 2007 11:35 AM

I would remain invisible! HAHA

Posted by: Maribeth at December 14, 2007 11:36 AM

dude! Listen in on private conversations!

Posted by: kalisah at December 14, 2007 11:45 AM

I'd go home and take a nap. I am QUEEN of excitement!

Posted by: heels at December 14, 2007 11:45 AM

today is my b-day! Yeah me.

Posted by: Katherine at December 14, 2007 11:59 AM

yeah, goodbye productivity, hello bloxorz

Posted by: Jared at December 14, 2007 12:25 PM

Weekly question: While invisible I sneak into the building housing the servers that host Bloxorz and smash the servers to smithereens. Then I am coming to hunt you down for telling me about it!

That really is quite addictive!

Posted by: Jeff A at December 14, 2007 1:03 PM

If I were invisible, I'd love to mess with people. Move their keys/coffee cup, etc. when they weren't looking just to freak them out.

Posted by: Shelly at December 14, 2007 1:44 PM

That depends on what time you get in the shower.

Did I just go too far?

Posted by: Mr Lady at December 14, 2007 1:53 PM

Bloxorz. I'm so getting fired...

Posted by: Pocklock at December 14, 2007 2:06 PM

That Block game was evil. I don;t have time for that dude!!!

And I actually would not want to be invisible. We are watching Season 1 of Heroes from Netflix and we just had a long talk about it. Being invisible would suck.

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at December 14, 2007 3:32 PM

The first thing I do is sneak up on Rude Cactus in some random men's room and bonk him over the head for getting me addicted to a stupid block game. :P

Posted by: Nanette at December 14, 2007 3:54 PM

Answer: Kick my boss in the balls.

Have a great weekend!

Posted by: Tink at December 14, 2007 4:56 PM

What is it with the 2-year-olds and the licking? I am, I regret to admit, not nearly as indulgent with the licking as you two.

Posted by: Amy at December 14, 2007 5:02 PM

I am officially addicted to Bloxorz. But how do you pass level 13? You can't do anything about the evil orange tiles.

Posted by: banana at December 14, 2007 6:03 PM

wow, good call on that game - officially bookmarked for future instances where I need to kill time at the office.

Posted by: E at December 14, 2007 7:26 PM

If I were invisible, I think I'd just revel in being left the hell alone for about 24 hours :)

Another great time waster -

Posted by: Stephanie at December 14, 2007 10:14 PM

Posted by: krystyn at December 14, 2007 11:33 PM

Hmmm... invisibility... most likely, I'd be doing something not wholesome.

Or eavesdropping on people.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 16, 2007 9:48 AM

I saw previews for that crowned show and holy dyin'! I'd rather be stabbed in the eye with a hot french fry then to watch that.

Okay so the ? of the week-what would I do? Dude, I'd be everywhere. Except in my parents bedroom, because frankly that's just wrong. But I'd be everywhere.

Posted by: kimmyk at December 16, 2007 10:41 AM

1. Ongiara is my album of the year. How much do I love it... how much. there is a stillness to it. I'm glad you finally have become one with it.

superpower? I'd like to be like Samantha on Bewitched. Wiggle my nose and have the house clean. Wiggle my nose, Christmas shopping done...

Posted by: Nat at December 16, 2007 11:17 AM

I'm uncomfortable with the opportunities for snooping and spying, I think I'd rather be visible.

Posted by: jodi at December 16, 2007 7:00 PM

I don't have an answer to the question of the week but I have to say I am now addicted to Bloxorz. WHY did I click on the link?!

Posted by: Tamara Straight Poop at December 18, 2007 11:37 AM

Set your life time easier take the loans and everything you require.

Posted by: Leola34VALENZUELA at January 18, 2011 12:22 PM