January 7, 2008

Haiku For Monday #200

Today marks the two-
hundredth 'ku on Rude Cactus.
Time for a smackdown.

Yes, to celebrate
this poetic 'ku milestone,
'ku with abandon.

Picture 'Ku Gone Wild -
poetry drunk and topless
on an eastern beach.

Yeah, I want that kind
of wild 'ku action today.
Old-school 'ku smackdown.

Topics? Those are yours
to choose. But might I suggest
your weekend, to start.

Or maybe Britney,
politics, or the greatness
of certain cacti?

Just give it a shot.
Don't let me down. 'Ku, friends, 'ku.
Or incur my wrath.

(Okay, so there's no
wrath. But it would suck if you
didn't play along.)

Posted by Chris at January 7, 2008 6:11 AM

Chris and Beth will have
another bundle of joy
this year. Congrats ya'll!

Posted by: coolchick at January 7, 2008 6:36 AM

A monster length ku
with no mention of coffee?

Posted by: Amy at January 7, 2008 7:56 AM

I know nothing about 'ku's. Really. So I can't play. But I'll be watching to see what everyone else contributes! Happy Monday!

Posted by: Alissa at January 7, 2008 8:30 AM

Schadenfreude will reign
In the year two thousand eight
And Britney gets worse

I anticipate
A very amusing day
Filled with 'ku goodness

I'm crazy busy
Meeting, school, new job
But will pop in, yo.

Posted by: Heather at January 7, 2008 8:44 AM

Geocache I did
and drank blueberry coffee
all this past weekend

Posted by: ::c:: at January 7, 2008 9:04 AM

First time commenter
love the blog, ku's, kid, and wife's
blog. Thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Caitlin at January 7, 2008 9:27 AM

Hurray for smackdown!
Where's Zeno with his sonnets?
surely you remember that?

Posted by: pamalamadingdong at January 7, 2008 9:32 AM

Woo! A 'ku smackdown!
That's all I got; it's Monday
and my brain is fried.

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 7, 2008 9:34 AM

On this occasion,
'ku's "Founder" comes out to play.
Congrats to Cactus!

Posted by: Coleen at January 7, 2008 9:37 AM

Football ad nauseam
Sniffling and sneezing continue
Cold rain drizzles down


Other than that, the weekend was great. Sorry about your 'Skins. I was cheering for them.

Posted by: ann adams at January 7, 2008 9:44 AM

I was too late for
Hurrah! Do-over!

Politics are fun.
Except for the fucktards like
Mike Huckabee (schmuck).

I'll be back later.
If my housewifely duties
do not kill me first.

Posted by: Leah at January 7, 2008 9:49 AM

YAAAAAAAAAAY for 200th 'ku! You should have a party.

Posted by: Poppy at January 7, 2008 9:50 AM

So, so pathetic
only one cup of coffee
is in my system

What does a girl do?
I really need the caffeine!
Do the Dew - or coffee?

Posted by: Coleen at January 7, 2008 9:57 AM

Christmas break is done
Public school kids gnash their teeth
Parents hide their smiles

Okay...but not me. We were still having a good time.

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at January 7, 2008 9:58 AM

first day back at work
after a long vacation
totally sucks ass.

to my joy, cactus
has declared today 'ku day
making it better.

the weekend was full
of lazy nothing, dancing
rabbids on the wii

good food with friends
movies and games and laughter
and sleep, oh sweet sleep

Congrats Chris Cactus
on this, your two-hundreth 'ku
here's to many more!

Posted by: suze at January 7, 2008 10:10 AM

oops - that second to last one should start: good food with our friends

stupid missing syllable.

Posted by: suze at January 7, 2008 10:14 AM

Monday, you suck cock
The one I normally rock
With guitar in hand

How can I learn more
Can I play new songs at work?
A silent guitar?


Damn, the fucker's steep
What about something more cheap?
Like stuffing old axe?

Ideas I could please use
This job it needs a new fuse
Drums don't fit in cube

Posted by: Brad at January 7, 2008 10:14 AM

Tried to make coffee
Really didn't go that well
Poured it down the sink

Now how can I get
A caffeine kick to commence
This really long day?

So Starbucks beckons
There's even one on campus
I'll be well supplied

Posted by: Heather at January 7, 2008 10:20 AM

I can't come up with a 'ku, but here's a dirty limerick!

There once was a man from Naas
Who had two balls made of brass
When he banged them together, they played 'Stormy Weather'
And lightening bolts shot from his *beep!*

Happy Monday!

Posted by: GreenCanary at January 7, 2008 10:21 AM

It's Farm Animal Monday!!!!

Haiku a Pig Might Write

I excel at math;
‘soh-cah-toa’! But alas,
my destiny: Ham.

Haiku a Cow Might Write

Yank the teat gently,
for it is not yours and the
pleasure is not mine.

...And finally, one for the kids:

Maytag's Lament

O blessed wooby,
so snot- and spittle-engorged
you broke the washer.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at January 7, 2008 10:28 AM

We took down the tree
And played some games with the boys
Went to The Chipmunks

At the movie house
Took in a soccer game too
Where my guy scored 2

Weekend is over
Boys back to school after break
Time to read and write.

Wow, this 'ku stuff, tough!
How do you manage Mondays
Before your coffee?

Posted by: Tera at January 7, 2008 11:03 AM

Housebound with sick kids
And mother-in-law to blame.
Plotting my revenge...

Posted by: Laura GF at January 7, 2008 11:11 AM

Christmas that came late
Wrapping and bows and Fo-od
Christmas crap all gone

**The remix

Wii Wii Wheeee Wii Wii
Pretty messy and yummy
Put that shit away

Posted by: SassyPants at January 7, 2008 11:12 AM

Today I'm wishing
I hadn't quit the Starbucks.
What was I thinking?

Happy 200 'ku, Mr. Cactus!

Posted by: SpaceCase at January 7, 2008 11:13 AM

Today I'm wishing
I hadn't quit the Starbucks.
What was I thinking?

Happy 200 'ku, Mr. Cactus!

Posted by: SpaceCase at January 7, 2008 11:13 AM

First day of ’08?
Scraping puke off my kid’s bed
Things must improve, right?

(They did! Happy 2008 to all in the Fish/Cactus household, born and unborn!)

Posted by: Loth at January 7, 2008 11:58 AM

Britney. Oh. Britney.
Too easy a target, yes.
But oh so much fun!

Posted by: oakley at January 7, 2008 12:05 PM

Start the year off right
Stuck in the house with the flu
Bite me, flu shot nurse.

Posted by: JenniferB at January 7, 2008 12:08 PM

Sick at home today
Kitty lying on my feet
Monday's not so bad.

Posted by: shelley at January 7, 2008 12:15 PM

New kitten at home
Mostly claws and teeth it seems
My curtains despair

Posted by: alison at January 7, 2008 12:40 PM

This is my first 'ku
Chris Cactus gave me the push
To try this shit out.

(sorry, it sucked, but it really was my very first one ever)

Posted by: donna at January 7, 2008 12:40 PM

Our new baby is
three weeks old today. I have
not slept in two weeks.

Hopefully, Wally
allows you all more shut-eye
than what we're getting.

Posted by: Ross at January 7, 2008 12:45 PM

how come your and beth's posts haven't been showing up in my bloglines??

Posted by: ali at January 7, 2008 2:11 PM

a haiku smackdown
conjures fond memories of
halcyon days of yore

Posted by: Vaguely Urban at January 7, 2008 2:55 PM

You all? Rock the 'ku.
Highlight of my day so far.
Keep them all going!

Posted by: Chris Cactus at January 7, 2008 3:18 PM

Sorry about the
Skins. Too bad my Hawks kicked ass!
Twenty-one point spread!

Dare I get such glee
from a violent, dangerous
sport? Heck yes I dare!

Screaming at the tube
Cheering so loudly.

Obviously they
heard me as they kept going
into the end zone!

Hawks rawk! We will be
victorious once again!
Superbowl? You bet!

Posted by: zanie at January 7, 2008 3:55 PM

We were together
For three years. Where there once was
love there is no more.

Sad ? yes. Need to express condolences ? No.

Posted by: fivalive at January 7, 2008 4:38 PM

Runny nose, sore throat,
Sneezing, headache, rainy weather,
Ruled the weekend here.

Active two-year-old,
Running, jumping, watching tube,
Make me pray for sun.

Highlight on Sunday,
Dim sum lunch, two hour nap,
Mommy feels revived.

Monday, sun is back,
work out, nap time, peaceful lunch,
good start to this week.

Posted by: Annie, The Evil Queen at January 7, 2008 4:50 PM

My wisdom teeth were
Extracted and now I have
Much TMJ pain

Posted by: Joanne at January 7, 2008 4:55 PM

My wisdom teeth were
Extracted and now I have
Much TMJ pain

Posted by: Joanne at January 7, 2008 4:56 PM

Rainy weekend- good.
An inch of hail- very cool.
Back to work- teh suck.

Posted by: heels at January 7, 2008 5:05 PM

How's this for a fun
weekend? I had to get an

Posted by: Beth in StL at January 7, 2008 7:56 PM

dude you rocked the 'kus
i am in total envy
of your mad 'ku skillz.

[using the word skillz makes me sound more like i have more street cred doesn't it? that's what i was goin' for..y'know that whole stret cred vibe. yo.]

Posted by: kimmyk at January 7, 2008 8:01 PM

monday was normal.
lists, notes, clients, deadlines, busy, stress.
but now it's over.

it's time for dinner.
maybe a bath, some tv.
something that yields "ahhh."

this makes me wonder.
how did the 'kus get started
to begin with, Chris?

Posted by: Emily at January 7, 2008 8:29 PM

Last week was freezing;
now I curse the horrid heat.
And humidity

Posted by: Jen at January 7, 2008 8:52 PM

Haiku History:
Product of late, lamented
Judith Light Brigade.

Long may the Judith
Wave over the Land of 'Ku!
Five! Seven! And Five!

Posted by: Coleen at January 7, 2008 9:52 PM

Holy hell not one
crazy ass poem for you.
boatloads have posted

need to use both hands
to count up the syllables
seven is high number

Today professed a
friend, he made a donation
to Ron Paul's campaign

Posted by: anna at January 7, 2008 11:54 PM

sorry to double
post. guess five is also too
high for me to count

Posted by: anna at January 7, 2008 11:56 PM

No 'ku since college
I thought I'd try anyway
I was too tired.

(Seriously - yesterday I was running on a serious sleep deficit and was too cranky to even try to crank out anything creative. Last night I got like 6 hours of sleep... and still not doing much better creatively!!!)

Posted by: Sarah at January 8, 2008 6:42 AM

Missed the 'ku smackdown;
Back to work on Monday kicked
my ass. Can I nap?

OSU sucked ass;
should stay out of title game.
When does baseball start?

(The Pittsburgh Steelers are out of the NFL playoffs, and I don't do basketball, so there is nothing until baseball...)

I am dragging feet
this morning; can't get ass in
gear. Can I nap yet?

I'd go on, but I'm out of time this morning and creativity. That was sucked out of me yesterday. Congrats on the 200th 'ku!!!

Posted by: ironic1 at January 8, 2008 6:55 AM

It's been so long since
I ku'd. Newborn has kept me
So out of the loop!

Happy Kuniversary!

Posted by: Haley-O at January 8, 2008 10:37 AM