January 16, 2008

The Preschool Conundrum

There's a preschool I'd really like Mia to get into in the fall. It's not some fancy school with a snooty name like The My-Farts-Don't Stink School. It's just a preschool that's got a good reputation for taking kids and turning them into, well, kids. Not budding brain surgeons. Not astrophysicists. Just kids. Because who the hell knows what they want to be at that age. I'm 35 and I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. But I digress.

The preschool is run by a local church. They give priority to kids who have attended the school before (which, for this level of preschool isn't really much of an issue), siblings of kids who've attended the school and, finally, members of the church. Then they use a lottery system to pick the rest of the kids. When Beth explained this to me last night, I had a brilliant idea that I am surely going to hell for.

Me: Can't we just show up at church one Sunday, sign a book and, boom, we're members.
Beth: They want you to sign up and give them money.
Me: Okay. So, can't we show up at church one Sunday, sign a book, drop 'em a hunsky* and see what happens?
Beth: I'm not sure it works like that.
Me: What, they issue membership cards or something? And I promise not to stand up in the middle of a sermon and shout stuff at the minister.
Beth: I'm not sure I believe you on that one.

Yet, while I was in the throes of this ethical dilemma, I started thinking that church didn't really sound like a bad idea. I have no love of religion nor have I suddenly found faith in god. My baptist elementary school education left me spiritually stunted and crushed the part of my brain reserved for simple math. I can't, however, escape the feeling that there's something out there bigger than I. Maybe it's just my hopeless optimism. Strip away the whole god thing - which admittedly is a vital component the lack of which does undermine the point of church to begin with - and you're left with some really good stuff. Like belief, faith, goodness and community. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to expose my daughter to. Or myself.

Will I go to church for these purely noble reasons? Probably not. I prefer spending my Sunday mornings eating waffles with my daughter at the altar of the Backyardigans. But back to my question. Should I join a church just to get my daughter into preschool? Or would that make me a morally reprehensible person? Inquiring minds want to know.


* one-hundred dollars

Posted by Chris at January 16, 2008 6:51 AM
Comments

Pretty sure your not the first to have that idea, but Beth's right, probably wouldn't work. Maybe you should "pray" she get's chosen in the lottery???? It really couldn't hurt!

Posted by: Punchbugpug at January 16, 2008 7:14 AM

Not sure which church it is, but found with our Little Man, when we signed him were looking for local preschools mid-summer, that most places had openings due to kids not being potty trained in time. Just wanted to give you hope that you didn't need to join a church, you can just hope that other kids don't get potty trained in time. Best of luck!

Posted by: Kristin at January 16, 2008 7:21 AM

Joining a church just to get Mia into a school would not be a good idea. What would that teach her? Just my thoughts

Posted by: Dee at January 16, 2008 7:27 AM

You would be neither the first nor the last parent to do something in the "ethically grey" spectrum to assure a spot in a preschool, so if that's your biggest concern, let it go.

As far as religion, I will spare you the tome I could prepare and (try and) make it brief: I was baptized, raised, and educated Roman Catholic until 18, when I dared ask a question of my local priest (the theory that Allah, God, and Yahweh are names for the same entity) and got told not to ask the question. I walked away.

Now, I'm an agnostic. I personally think that "true" atheists are the pot calling the kettle black in that their unwavering, unequivocal denial of the existence of any deity is just as narrow-minded as the faithful they treat with such disdain. While I personally doubt the existence of some supreme being controlling fates and the like, I am open to the possibility that I may be wrong on that one.

All that is background for my perspective, which is that I agree with you that many religious based schools are good places to raise kids, so long as they stick to Christian principles and not the doctrine of their sect. To quote my sister, "The basic precepts of Christianity - love one another, be kind to everyone, et cetera - are good. It just took the Catholic Church to fuck them up."

(Wow. Sorry for the rant.)

Posted by: SciFi Dad at January 16, 2008 7:31 AM

Although I'm sure you wouldn't be the first, somehow this just SCREAMS of the hypocracy I already associate with organized religion. Wait! Maybe that's the answer? *giggle*

Posted by: Dana at January 16, 2008 7:31 AM

De-lurking, I teach in a church/preschool and they want a record of you belonging - usually a year minimum. Not worth it....unless of course, you really want to become members of this church. I would just take my honest chances and the previous poster is right, a lot of kids drop out in the summer due to not being potty trained. You aren't the first parent to have this idea... in the long run, probably not worth it. Ok, going back to lurking..........

Posted by: c at January 16, 2008 7:33 AM

Maybe I'm a really bad person (although I don't think so) but I don't see anything at all wrong with this idea. I grew up a PK (pastor's kid, Methodist church) and I know from my father's point of view, he would have been happy to have a new person in church, regardless of their motives or intentions- he would say (at least I think he would) you never know who you might touch or reach with a sermon or something you say on any given week. That does not mean if you go once, give your money, get your name on the books, and never go again that you are bad- just my opinion. Hmm, the more I think about this the more I wonder how unbiased my opinion is. Although I grew up in a church household I am NOT a religious person. Although I am very spiritual. I think most churches (Christian ones anyway) have bastardized the fundamentals (of course with the exception of my father’s church, he feels the same way I do but he’s retired now). Now it’s about- give us money, don't do this, don't do that. So I say- do what feels right to you to take care of Mia.
I think it’s too early for me to write a flowing, coherent thought...sorry.

Posted by: Greta at January 16, 2008 7:36 AM

My parents joined the local Catholic church to get us into the school and to get the member discount. We started going in the spring to get enrolled in the fall and it worked. So you are definitely not the first person to do it and it made my sister and I who we are today, a bunch of non-practicing Catholics.

If you want to do it, go for it but you probably don't have to.

Posted by: goodsnake at January 16, 2008 7:39 AM

I hate to tell you , but registration is probably in the next month and I don't know that you can become members of a church within that time. I applaud your acknowledgment of something bigger: faith, community. I know you had a bad, maybe terrible, experience with people who screwed you up in the name of God. But those are just people screwing it up. Belief is up to you. (Wait, you know that, I swear I'm not preaching, it's just early and I'm having trouble speaking coherently) I think you may find a place somewhere to fill in the blank of faith for you that will not ask for money up front.

Posted by: Bunny at January 16, 2008 7:43 AM

My sister-in-law and her lame husband became members of a church just to get a discount on tuition for their 4 kids. They figured that the amount that was required to be given to the church to make them members was far less than the amount of addition money they had to pay for being non-members. The ironic thing is that they have, in the past, been guilty of being "unkind" to people of this particular religion and now they are card carrying members. It's funny how money can and will change people. My recommendation...be careful, some of these churches make you provide financial statements to make sure that the amount of money you are giving is truely 10% of you actual income.

Posted by: harrylips at January 16, 2008 7:46 AM

Not being a particularly religious person, I find that I tend to be more spiritual instead... having said that, it's my opinion that you probably should be willing to go to the church if that's where you want Mia to go to school - main reason being - these are the people who your daughter will be with on a daily basis, their philosophies and beliefs are going to be shared with her... it's definitely not a bad idea to go, at least a few times, to check to make sure their style and beliefs at least somewhat mesh with your own.

Having said that, it's not something I would personally choose for my kids - partly because on the religion front, I prefer the thought of waiting until my kids are older and have better critical thinking and analysis skills - and are able to accept or reject what they do and do not want to believe about religion.

Am I jumping the gun to say that in regards to preschool? Yeah, probably. I'm doubtful they are gonna delve too deep in religious theory - but that's just my two cents on the issue.

Posted by: sarah at January 16, 2008 7:47 AM

Aw yes, preschool applications. I can not even talk about how ridiculous it all it.

Posted by: jodi at January 16, 2008 7:58 AM

I know it happens all the time...and in the big scheme of things, it's not morally reprehensible. There are worse things you could do. I am all for whatever gets you in the door - and Mia into preschool! She is going to LOVE preschool!

Posted by: Sam at January 16, 2008 8:14 AM

I think there are worse things you can do. Will it get you into the school? Maybe not. Depends if they check the join date. But, as I have told friends who started going to church "but didn't need all that church stuff" - Start going, even if for the wrong reasons. Chances are, they will turn into the right ones.

Posted by: DebbieDoesLife at January 16, 2008 8:19 AM

It's weird to have similar discussions on the same days. Just the other night, Jen and I discussed church. Jen wants to expose the kids to church, since she never went and I went a few times a year.

We didn't come to any conclusions. It's a hard topic.

No, I don't think it's a bad thing to become a member of a church in order to get into pre-school. I think that's a positive side-effect for their rule.

Posted by: Brad at January 16, 2008 8:53 AM

We have had the same dilema. We decided on anotehr school. Maybe we will take to going to church once in awhile so the kids can go to sunday school and CCD but for now, no religion in preschool for us.

Posted by: Tuesday at January 16, 2008 8:54 AM

How good can the school be ? And why don't you want Mia to be on the right track for Med school by this time next year :)

Don't pretend to be something you're not.

Posted by: Heather at January 16, 2008 8:55 AM

I say no. But not because I think it makes you morally reprehensible or anything. Just because I think it's a waste of your sanity to go to church. I hate church. I'm a Christian. I hate. Church. A lot. :D

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at January 16, 2008 9:03 AM

If there is a God I'd have to say he'd know what you were up to and it might not work out for you. However, it's never a bad thing to want to explore something and perhaps this is the time to look around.

Morally reprehensible? No...that has to be saved for much much worse things...like white shoes after Labor Day.

Posted by: daisy at January 16, 2008 9:05 AM

My husband had a friend (well, he still does, but he moved away) that added "sky" to the end of all kinds of numbers and words. My husband picked up the habit and it just started to not do it as often as before.

Posted by: alfredsmom at January 16, 2008 9:10 AM

I, too, somedays wonder about whether I'm missing out on the community that comes with church. I grew up a PK and while I have issues with organized religion as a result, I will always respect the community that it builds. You can build this community with your friends, certainly, but it's not quite the same.

However, I enjoy my Sunday brunches out with my fiance far to much to take the time to search out a church that isn't going to piss me off by what's being said from the pulpit. Because that could take a while now that my dad's retired...

Posted by: suze at January 16, 2008 9:13 AM

I joined a gym many years ago just to look at chicks..it's the same thing.

Do it.

Posted by: william at January 16, 2008 9:19 AM

I highly doubt this will make you a morally reprehensible person. In fact I know many parents including my own who "joined" a church so their kid could go to a particular & "better" school than the public schools offered. It is not like it was free - we paid a boat load for me to go to Catholic school and we went to church as needed. It was not required but it was sort of expected.

The truth is and you can tell Mia this if you so choose though at her age I doubt you would want to get into it but the reason you chose that school was its good reputation and that you wanted the best for her. That is how I see it - church school or not.

However, I would totally struggle myself with going to church simply so my kid could go to the school because I would be lying to myself. I am not a "religious" person - I have my own set of spiritual beliefs that do not match up to really an religious order so it would mostly be my own "issue" for me to stand in a church each Sunday (or every other or once a month even) because I would be telling myself a falsehood in the name of education.

Of course if you feel like 'whoa I really want a larger community, a place to feel more spiritual than I do right now' than it might be a great decision on your part.

Posted by: Christina at January 16, 2008 9:29 AM

I think that perhaps they have this policy in place to encourage people to join the church, so if it feels right for you guys then I say go for it. We're semi-atheists and the whole god and church thing hasn't really come up yet for our girls. The preschool issue, of course has. You're so steeped in this area I don't know why I didn't think to ask you about preschools before!

Posted by: Laura GF at January 16, 2008 9:36 AM

Okay, here I go.
I don't think it matters why you go to church with Mia. If it is to get her into a good school or just expose her to something new, then I say, go for it.
I said I would never get married after my first marriage crashed and burned. I said I didn't believe in it, and that it was evil.
Then I met Hubby and I changed my mind.
So you never know.
Keep an open mind.

Posted by: Maribeth at January 16, 2008 10:25 AM

It would not make you morally depraved. For your own self-respect I think you should be careful what organization you tie your name to though. I have done my best to find a place that either agrees with the things that are important to me or accepts that is is OK for people to disagree. That was what was most important to me. Exposing Mia to Religion is a great idea, even if you are whole heartedly against it. She has to live in this world and one of the best ways to do that is to understand the people you are living with.

Good luck!

Posted by: SassyPants at January 16, 2008 10:40 AM

hoo-boy, you sure do get yourself in some predicaments, don't you?

Posted by: kalisah at January 16, 2008 10:41 AM

I feel obligated to warn you that joining a church is a little more involved than signing a book. I don't know what denomination you're looking at, but my guess is that they won't require you to tithe (give them money). They will, however, want to talk to you, counsel you, make sure you're "for real." They'll ask about your salvation and your commitment to Christ. And probably about baptism.

That said, Button attends the preschool at our church and it has been a wonderful program. They really structure the time so it's not just freetime or childcare - they have activities, crafts, music lessons, playtime, storytime, naptime, lunch. Every week we get a newsletter on what they're learning that week/month. A couple of months ago I walked by and they had a firetruck parked out front and were teaching the kids about firemen and their jobs. It's also helping her learn to socialize with other kids.

Posted by: Amy at January 16, 2008 11:05 AM

I know people who go to church just to meet potential boyfriends/girlfriends. If we're looking at the scale of "wrong reasons to prostrate oneself before the Almighty," I'd say that wins out over wanting Mia in a good preschool. That being said... I recommend you light some incense and dance naked in your backyard, in addition to tossing some shout outs to the congregation. The incense-naked-backyard-dancing should be accompanied by the chant: "'I' before 'E,' except after 'C,' or when sounding like 'A," as in 'neighbors' and 'weigh.'" Covers all the bases.

Posted by: GreenCanary at January 16, 2008 11:13 AM

I have mixed feelings about this issue. I was sent to Catholic schools through college and in order to be allowed to attend grades K-12 my parents had to be involved with the parish. Basically all they did was make monthly contributions, but we never went. I feel that you can pray anywhere, it doesn't have to be in a church. As for getting Mia into the school for fall, you may not have enough time to be considered real church members, but what do I know. I think the hunsky would work, but it may take more than one. Although when they see Mia's incredible cuteness you know she will be admitted immediately! Sorry, I'm not much help with this...good luck!

Posted by: Dianna at January 16, 2008 11:45 AM

Ugh. It is a dilemma. We are having the same problem right now too - the only place anywhere reasonably near for kindergarden and up us is a full fledged Christian Academy. It is so. against. everything. I. Stand. For. But it is close and has a good reputation.

Posted by: SleepyNita at January 16, 2008 11:57 AM

If you do go to church just so Mia can go to preschool I think she will giggle her head off at you later in life when you tell her.

This is not an endorsement or a "don't do it!" message, just an acknowledgment of the humor of the situation.

Posted by: Poppy at January 16, 2008 12:01 PM

I'd be more worried about the drivel that the kid-herders in the school might inject into Mia's little noggin...

Teacher: That's a pretty picture!
Mia: Thank you!
Teacher: Joshua fought the battle of Jericho!
Mia: ...

Subtlety isn't the forte of Sunday school teachers. As someone who believes in God, but never goes to church because of his disdain for organized religion, I think it would hurt no one if you showed up, signed the book, dropped a nickel in the collection plate, then high-fived Beth on the way out of the church. People that go to church regularly do much worse.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at January 16, 2008 12:40 PM

I wouldn't join a church just for that. I would maybe donate a little moola, who knows. I'm kinda in the same boat spiritually thinking that you are. I'm not a religious person. I do believe in God, but all the other stuff I don't. I believe in cold hard facts. My ex couldn't believe that I didn't believe in the bible. I believe that God mad the universe, but darn-it, I believe that we slithered from the oceans. So GO DARWIN!!!

Posted by: Cari at January 16, 2008 12:58 PM

I am an athiest. My kids are not. They love Jesus and I think it's good for them. And church preschools are pretty good.

I, however, put mine into preschool at the Y, and it rocked hard. Look into the Y, too.

Also, local elementary schools sometimes have preschool for 4 year olds that is ridiculously cheap and follows the district cirriculum.

Posted by: Mr Lady at January 16, 2008 1:18 PM

I have a friend who wanted to be married at a certain church but they only let parishioners be married there. So she joined for a year (didnt even go to church, just mailed in her donation envelope) got married there and never sent another dime. She hasnt been struck by lightning. Yet.

Posted by: Punk Rock Mom at January 16, 2008 1:40 PM

The second my sister found out she was preggers she started showing up weekly and tithing monthly. All this in the hopes of maybe getting a spot in the kindergarten class for her unborn... Oh yeah, and it didn't work.

Posted by: Mandy Lou at January 16, 2008 1:58 PM

Chris, normally I leave these types of posts alone, as you can understand why. Anyway, someone mentioned it earlier, what kind of lesson would that be for Mia? Even when you strip out the moral implications you are left with the fact that you are showing her it is alright to lie to get something you want.

Oddly though, I have faith that you will make the right choice anyway. You may not believe in God, yet, but you do have a sense of right and wrong which we have seen, and a desire to have only the best for your kids starts with us as parents. To show them the kind of behavior that we expect; we too have to follow the same rules we want them to follow.

Oh, and you shouldn't go to church with the wrong attitude. Remember that Christians are human too and prone to mistakes. There are also just as many phonies in the church as there are outside of it. I am going to stop now as this is getting entirely too long and I don't want to sound to preachy! :)

Posted by: Jeff A at January 16, 2008 2:28 PM

Please don't, for your sake and the church's.

And you didn't mention whether the preschool's curriculum includes a religious element (many schools in churches will include a Bible story as part of their routine). Would you be comfortable with that?

Posted by: Julie at January 16, 2008 3:08 PM

I've never really understood the need to "join" a church rather than just attending it. It's not like a country club (or maybe it is...) so I feel like God should be free for the asking. I'm leaning towards attending some services again myself, same basic reasons as you stated. But I think you probably should join anything unless you really want to be a part of it.

Posted by: Annie, The Evil Queen at January 16, 2008 3:56 PM

I have never understood the need to "join" a church rather than just attending it. I thought God was free for the asking unlike, say, a country club membership. I'm considering attending some services again for the very reasons you mentioned. But I figure you shouldn't join anything you aren't 100% committed to-especially if it involves the Big Guy.

Posted by: Annie, The Evil Queen at January 16, 2008 3:58 PM

I think you should have your wife hit on the pastor. ;)

Posted by: Tink at January 16, 2008 4:12 PM

I dunno. If after "signing up" (no idea what that entails), you attend now and then, and sign Mia up for Sunday School (if that is what they call it still), then I think you are in the moral clear. Also, joining a church to be part of a community, isn't a bad thing either. I'll bet you there are many members in the chapel that also feel stunted by a childhood of religious education. Besides, they are just stories. We all grew up and made up our minds, right?

Posted by: K at January 16, 2008 4:17 PM

Eh, I say give it shot. Doesn't the church want you to, uh, go to church? And wouldn't that be exactly what you are doing? So what's the big hang up? Some people go to get into heaven, some go to get their kid into pre-school. Maybe this is GOD'S WAY of getting you into heaven; by providing this pre-school that you want to send Mia to.

God works in mysterious ways, you know, this COULD BE HIM TALKING TO YOU! You really ought to listen.

But also have a back-up plan, just in case. That would be good. =o)

Posted by: Janet at January 16, 2008 4:31 PM

What Jeff A said.

Posted by: Leilani at January 16, 2008 4:35 PM

Funnily enough, there was a big news story over this week about the dramatic increase in the number of parents having their soon-to-be school age children baptized to give them an edge in getting them into their good local Catholic schools. So it's not an unusual thought... rather cynical, though.

Posted by: ewe_are_here at January 16, 2008 4:51 PM

The was a Malcolm in the Middle episode about the family joining a church for the free daycare. Hilarity ensued. :)

I am not a organized religion person so I wouldn't join a church for the daycare, no matter how good it was.

As for joining a church "just because," many people do belong to churches, not out of a shared belief system but to belong to a community.There are many denominations that are very, very liberal. Check out the Unitarians. You can be an atheist and be a Unitarian. How cool is that?

Posted by: wendy at January 16, 2008 6:12 PM

Here's my 2 cents... I went to catholic school from K- 12th grade. I can't compare my experience to public school because I never experienced it, however I will say I had a great experience and wouldn't change it for the world. My dad was a devout catholic so we went to church often... until my sister and I started playing sports and we became less interested in taking an hour out of our weekends to go. There were many families who never went to church and still sent their children to our school. Being a member is one thing. Sure, they might ask you to contribute monetarily, or volunteer some of your time... but asking you to go to church is something beyond. ALSO... think of this... what if you belonged to another church? How would they ever know what church or what mass times you went to (say, like if you drove an hours every weekend to take a sick grandparent to church... OR say if you lived closer to another church that you'd rather go to). It's not like they make you wear a tracking device ;) Joining a church and "joining" a church can be two very different things.

As for the religious aspect of the whole situation... it's up to you. I never had to go to CCD or Bible study because I got all the information in class. It depends on what you want mia to learn. Most religions are simply stories... it's up to you and her to believe what you want to be true. The bible is either something to follow as truth, or it is simply a history book. Same with everything else. It's just how you want to look at it. Good luck with your decision!

Posted by: Laura at January 16, 2008 6:44 PM

I don't think there's anything wrong with joining for the community, regardless of doubts. Everyone has doubts, after all. Though at my church to be a member, you do have to believe. So I suppose my thoughts on the matter would be to go, and try it out, but not necessarily join? Any reasonable church would be glad to have you there.
I wouldn't do the whole "Deceit" thing though. I think it goes against your own sense of right and wrong, doesn't it? Maybe talk to someone in the church about it, like the pastor, and explain your reasons fully and honestly, and see what they say? *shrug*

Posted by: Heather at January 16, 2008 7:08 PM

We didn't have to join this particular parish to send our Kiddo to school there, but as we were non-tithers we paid a higher tuition than church members. I was cool with that because the school had a good reputation and I wasn't interested in converting.

The problem was, the school wasn't a great fit. Kiddo is a bit of a free spirit (she doesn't have a disobediant bone in her body so her issues weren't behavioral) and that wonderful part of her- the thing that makes her who she is-was squashed. Also, it was REALLY religious. She was being introduced to some dogma that I didn't agree with (and kids that age can't really understand why Mommy and Daddy don't go to The True Church). I heard that Catholic schools today are basically mainstream schools with uniforms. That is so NOT the case.

Catholic/ religious schools are a good fit for many families, it just happened to be a bad fit for ours. I was so excited about the school that I ignored the religious component... I should have paid better attention.

You have to decide whether you're down with the religious message she'll be getting (and remember, kids her age have no filter) decide whether you're cool with that, and go from there.

Posted by: Kara at January 16, 2008 8:29 PM

I have no advice. Except that it has become evident that The Boy rememeber little from his pre-school days. It's the oddest thing. (There was a little boy, one of his good buds back then, child doesn't remember him at all.)

I have a huge issue with religious affiliation in schools/pre-school... so I'd really want to make sure about messaging before I send him.

Posted by: Nat at January 16, 2008 8:52 PM

Even with my laid back, liberal, "open hearts, open minds", open doors" church there's a little more to joining than just showing up.

Who knows? You might even enjoy it. Or maybe not.

I'm not sure about the morality issue but it would be funny if you joined for all the "wrong" reasons and then stayed for all the "right" ones.

Helpful, aren't I.

Posted by: ann adams at January 16, 2008 8:54 PM

I have no words of wisdom - I don't go to church. I used to, and that's why I don't go now.

When you said you like to spend your Sundays eating waffles with Mia, it made me think of this poem. Check it out -

http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/emilydickinson/10276

Posted by: Stephanie at January 16, 2008 9:52 PM

I'm amused that of the people who thought attending church to get Mia into the preschool was reprehensible, ALL of them were anti-organized religion.

So here are my thoughts, for what they're worth:

1) Figure out what being a member means: for us to get married in the Catholic church, we had a priest write a letter that we attend regularly. Which we do. And that's a religious sacrament, not preschool. It's 45 minutes of a week, and sometimes the music isn't bad. I've heard things get a little crazier south of the Mason-Dixon line, and that's where you all are. Good luck.

2) I went to Catholic school for a year. I found the school to be boring and begged my mom to take me out. Sometimes when you're closer to something, the mystique is taken away?

3) Mia's learning Christian culture can help her relate to people who aren't raised the way she is. What's wrong with that? I went to school with Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Protestants, Sikhs, and atheists. It's made me a more understanding, tolerant person. You and Beth obviously don't have a problem with all of this, but I'm saddened that the "liberal" folks who read your blog only want your child around people who think like you do. Kinda big-brother, if you ask me.

Posted by: alektra at January 16, 2008 11:25 PM

Well, my feeling is, go check it out and see what you think. You will be also checking out the people running your daughter's possible school - so a twofer. And if you don't like it, stop going. And if the school is still cool, keep sending Mia. And have Mia fuck with their heads.

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at January 17, 2008 12:54 AM

Do it, my sister had her daughter christened purely to enable her to have more school options
Pol x

Posted by: Pol at January 17, 2008 4:49 AM

ok. so you got 100 and 1 comments on this subject. and I am by NO means an expert as I have no children and do not expect to any time soon. or any time for that matter.

HOWEVER, on the matters of Kids being Kids & spirituality...I think that kids outghta get a chance to BE kids, and if this school does that for Mia, then you do whatever you gotta do to get her to where you want her to be. Plain and simple.

On spirituality. I dont buy "god". i have my own f'd up sense of spirituality, and I spiritual but not religious. that said, I go back to my previous point. If you're ok with it and it doesn't go 100% against your beliefs, values, etc, then go. what's the worst that could happen? Mia might be interested. Mia might HATE it and then you have a whole new set of things to DO on your hands.

Damn dude... raising kids has to be difficult. you have to make a ton of decisions for their life that affect it for.freaking.ever and, frankly, that freaks me out. (and now, I have likely freaked you out and so I shall go now. :P )

Posted by: colleen at January 17, 2008 7:11 AM

When I was pondering preschool for my older son, I was in the same boat, exactly. The school I wanted was a christian preschool, at a church. I took my chances with the lottery, got put on a wait list and then, by the grace of God (heh) he got in. Once he started, he really enjoyed it and would come home singing songs and asking about God and church and all that jazz. After he actually was in preschool there, that was when I decided we really needed to go to church, for my kid(s). I was raised going to church EVERY Sunday, and while I didn't always love it, I look back and remember great memories. I truly believe I am a better (far from perfect) person because of it.

So, in the long run it could end up being a win-win situation...guess that was my point~

Posted by: Michele at January 17, 2008 1:50 PM

When I was pondering preschool for my older son, I was in the same boat, exactly. The school I wanted was a christian preschool, at a church. I took my chances with the lottery, got put on a wait list and then, by the grace of God (heh) he got in. Once he started, he really enjoyed it and would come home singing songs and asking about God and church and all that jazz. After he actually was in preschool there, that was when I decided we really needed to go to church, for my kid(s). I was raised going to church EVERY Sunday, and while I didn't always love it, I look back and remember great memories. I truly believe I am a better (far from perfect) person because of it.

So, in the long run it could end up being a win-win situation...guess that was my point~

Posted by: Michele at January 17, 2008 1:51 PM

eh... conundrum indeed. I say that no matter where we stand as parents, it's so important to expose our children to different things so that they may be able to one day choose for themselves... not because we either believe or don't believe. I'm also of the persuasion that none of us have this whole "God" thing squared down, and that those very basics you admire (love, goodness, community) are the very things that make God who he is. I think, like one of the previous commenter noted, that the "church" has really fucked up the way we see God. We've put him into nice little shiny packages, or easy to explain equations, when in reality, there's something much more complex and much more mysterious at hand. I'm actually much more comfortable with the idea that we don't know everything about God and that we're probably very wrong about much of our beliefs. Because honestly, if I had to know everything about God, or to believe that my way of defining God/interpreting scriptures was the only way, I think I'd just walk away from the faith. In fact, the only thing that kept me in my faith after a year of doubting God and questioning God was putting aside every assumption I'd ever made, and still believing in something bigger than me. I'm much more comfortable with my faith these days in knowing that I really don't have to know everything, and that there's a very good chance that we're ALL right about God... even when our human minds can't see how that's possible.

Posted by: Corinne at January 17, 2008 9:50 PM

I just noticed that my feedreader hasn't been picking you up since the beginning of the year. Maybe sooner. I knew something was missing from my life!

I have actually considered joining a church for the social network. I have no belief in anything supreme (except at Taco Bell...I believe in sour cream, lettuce and tomatoes!), but the churches have such great programs set up for newcomers, lonely moms and families. Seems like I'd be sentencing myself straight to hell for lying about believing in God, though.

Posted by: Becky at January 17, 2008 10:03 PM

Cars and houses are not cheap and not everyone is able to buy it. But, www.lowest-rate-loans.com are invented to help people in such cases.

Posted by: FloresVelma at June 30, 2010 1:00 PM


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