January 11, 2008

The Weeklies #18

The Weekly Best Moment. Last night Mia ran to me and said "I'm going to give you a wedgie! Let me pull your underwear!" And she did. Then she said, "Give me a wedgie! Give me a wedgie!" It was awesome.

The Weekly Worst Moment. I'm going to go with the Bed Post Head Crash Trauma of '08 I mentioned on Wednesday. That was uncool.

The Weekly Confounding Mystery. Every morning this week my alarm clock has gone off but instead of the obnoxious buzzing it usually serenades me with in the mornings, it's taken to blaring country music instead. I've checked every button and switch on the thing to no avail. What's even more bizarre is the selection of music this phantom radio station plays. It's primarily country music interspersed with rock. Like, this morning? Toby Keith and Carrie Underwood (I'm guessing here - I know as much about country music as Britney knows about underwear or sanity) poured out of the clock-radio the first and third times it went off (it's Friday, I didn't want to get up) but Synchronicity II by The Police filled the number two slot.

The Weekly Best IM Conversation. This conversation went down while Beth and I were in the kitchen together, facing each other, on different computers, checking our email and cooking dinner.


Chris: hi :)
Beth: hi hotty
Chris: are you naked?
Beth: totally
Chris: so am i except for the leather chaps
Beth: Ditch the chaps. They chafe.
Chris: but they look so damn good and accentuate my ass

The Weekly Reads. Two books this week - Elliot Perlman's Three Dollars and Charlie Huston's Half The Blood in Brooklyn. Three Dollars was interesting. I mean that in mostly a good way. At first I thought Perlman had what I call Rachel Cusk Syndrome. Cusk wrote a book a few years ago that I unfortunately bought. It seemed like Cusk tried to use every fancy word she found in a dictionary. I felt kind of stupid reading it. And the opening chapters of Three Dollars made me feel like the author was showboating a little bit. It turns out, he wasn't. Perlman can write. Is it worth reading? Yes. Are there better books out there? Again, yes. Like Huston's Half The Blood In Brooklyn. Huston's Hank Thompson Trilogy are three of the most excellent crime fiction novels ever written. I made my vow after reading them that I'd read anything else Huston wrote. Even if it was a series of books based on a vampire detective. The idea sounds kinda terrible, honestly. And I don't really dig vampire stuff. But this - the third of this particular series - is great. And a hell of a lot of fun. Huston is a fantastic writer, spare, merciless. Start with the Hank Thompson Trilogy (Caught Stealing, Six Bad Things, Dangerous Man) and then check out the rest of Huston's work.

The Weekly Thank You. Thanks to all who delurked yesterday as well as all those who played along and helped keep the tradition alive!

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Did you see that Amy Winehouse went blond and actually looks worse? Who'd have thought it was possible? Oh, and Britney's little sister - you know the sweet, innocent and knocked up one - got dumped by her boyfriend who now wants a paternity test. Rumor has it that the father is actually an older television producer.

The Weekly Question. I promise you there will be absolutely no judgment about this whatsoever but...who should be our next president and why?

Posted by Chris at January 11, 2008 6:43 AM
Comments

i heard that about jamie spears and holy crap how cringeful is that because well, that's statutory rape, yeah? ew. nasty dirty girl. worse-nasty dirty old man.

that's hilarious that you and beth IM each other when in the same proximity--way to keep the *magic* alive. w0ot!~

who should be president? i'm on the fence with clinton and obama. i would like to see hillary take office-but it may bring with it some familiar faces and names and i'm ready for a fresh start-enter-obama. so we'll see.

Posted by: kimmyk at January 11, 2008 6:57 AM

John Edwards.
I think Clinton is shady (a cure to the health care woes is to make people *buy* insurance? I'm sorry, if I could afford insurance, *I would have insurance*.). I'm indifferent about Obama- he's my second choice, and the more likely. I've nothing against him. I just like Edwards better.
That, and Edwards looks like John Ritter. Who can go wrong with John Ritter??? :)

Posted by: Cassandra at January 11, 2008 7:08 AM

Presidentially... I'm really not sure yet. I'm a massive liberal, so I can tell you I'm *NOT* pulling for McCain, Guiliani, or any others in the Republican camp (who, let's face it, I can't even name 'em all because we have about 205 people in the running right now, don't we?). But, at this point, that's about all I can say. I'm interested to see how it turns out.

Posted by: Sarah at January 11, 2008 7:26 AM

OMG, the Wedgie Monster lives in your house! How hilarious!

I'm hoping for Obama because I think we need some fresh blood, new life and hopefully some real change. The only reserve I have about Obama is that I'm afraid IF he wins, we'll have to deal with the Oprah factor. Since she's so almighty (read with dripping sarcasm), if he wins I'm sure she'll feel it was all due to her endorsement and then her ego will enlarge even more so and perhaps block sunlight to 37% of the planet.

Posted by: Shelly at January 11, 2008 8:11 AM

That's pretty brutal about Brit's little sister. I'm beginning to think that MOTHER needs to be locked up. Sheesh.
And I'm really glad I don't have to vote in your election because I have NO idea whom I'd back!

Posted by: Heather at January 11, 2008 8:14 AM

I am a Moderate Repub, so I am surprising myself with this comment, I may for for Obama. I think he brings new blood, and a sense of "rational ruling" to the table.

Posted by: Josh at January 11, 2008 8:16 AM

I feel like that cell phone commercial when deciding who I want for President. "Let's elect McObamRomEdAbee!"

Posted by: Dana at January 11, 2008 8:19 AM

Thank you for the early birthday wishes!

I am so gonna get my Chris on MSN and repeat some of that conversation lol

Pol x

Posted by: Pol at January 11, 2008 8:27 AM

Me. Because I'm AWESOME.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at January 11, 2008 8:28 AM

This is a tough one...I'm glad I don't have to decide yet. I ama registered Republican (don't hold it against me, it' a family thing)....but I don't like ANY of the Republican candidates. I LOVE John Edwards. Liked him last time and even more this time. Sadly, I don't think he stands a chance. So that leaves me with Obama and Hillary. I like both of them for different reasons and I feel bad for Hillary, I think she gets more scrutiny just for being a woman, she's damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. It would be fun to see Bill back in the White House, as First Husband?

Posted by: Lisa at January 11, 2008 8:40 AM

I plead the fifth on the question and also I have not decided really... still tossing around the candidates. Okay I can say definitively NOT Huckabee...

As for Brit Brit and her sister... Oy, I think their "issues" have a lot to do with the parents - I mean I know at some point they are adults but holy shit can you imagine being exploited and turned into a sex symbol at 14 years of age???!!! Yeah I know you are a guy but still...

Posted by: Christina at January 11, 2008 8:40 AM

I really wish Dick Cheney was running.

Posted by: william at January 11, 2008 8:41 AM

I'd be happy with just about any Democrat at this point. But, I'm really pulling for Hillary. However, there are so many Hillary bashers out there I think Obama has a better shot.

Posted by: Jennifer at January 11, 2008 8:57 AM

I'm 100% backing Obama and have actually made a few donations to his campaign, something I have never before done in my life. But I am ready for a change from politics as usual. Hillary would be an ok choice if that's what we end up with, but we all know it would simply be another co-presidency like it was from 1992- 2000. That was ok, I liked Bill fine. But again, we need something NEW, not a repeat of what we've had before. I'd really love to see an Obama/Edwards ticket take shape personally.

Posted by: donna at January 11, 2008 9:08 AM

President Cactus has a nice ring to it.

Posted by: Arwen at January 11, 2008 9:18 AM

Not sure who I want to be president yet, but I will say that I'm actually interested in this damn race for the first time in my life. I'm ready for a change too.

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 11, 2008 9:19 AM

I feel slighted that Declan has never cared enough about me to give me a wedgie.

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at January 11, 2008 9:27 AM

Gonna have to go with Obama

Meant to delurk yesterday, but the day just got away from me. Damn job.

Posted by: Jeff St Real at January 11, 2008 9:31 AM

Oh, and I am a John Edwards fan. But I like Obama too. My dream would be a Edwards/Obama ticket, but I would be OK with Obama/Edwards as well.

I like how John Edwards is not talking large PAC contributions (and it's hurting him, but he's sticking to his guns), how he wants to shake up the corporate stranglehold on Washington, and how he wants to cancel insurance for Congress if they don't get healthcare straightened out by a certain date.

I love that! Let THEM see what it feels like for insurance companies to have you by the balls for once!

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at January 11, 2008 9:32 AM

Oh, and I am a John Edwards fan. But I like Obama too. My dream would be a Edwards/Obama ticket, but I would be OK with Obama/Edwards as well.

I like how John Edwards is not talking large PAC contributions (and it's hurting him, but he's sticking to his guns), how he wants to shake up the corporate stranglehold on Washington, and how he wants to cancel insurance for Congress if they don't get healthcare straightened out by a certain date.

I love that! Let THEM see what it feels like for insurance companies to have you by the balls for once!

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at January 11, 2008 9:33 AM

Oh, and I am a John Edwards fan. But I like Obama too. My dream would be a Edwards/Obama ticket, but I would be OK with Obama/Edwards as well.

I like how John Edwards is not talking large PAC contributions (and it's hurting him, but he's sticking to his guns), how he wants to shake up the corporate stranglehold on Washington, and how he wants to cancel insurance for Congress if they don't get healthcare straightened out by a certain date.

I love that! Let THEM see what it feels like for insurance companies to have you by the balls for once!

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at January 11, 2008 9:35 AM

Obama, because he's the most intelligent of the lot.

Posted by: Brad at January 11, 2008 9:44 AM

I know I'm a woman (no, really. I KNOW) but I'm not voting for Hillary unless she's the last standing Democrat. I'm hoping it'll be Obama. I only know it will NOT be a Republican. Not even John McCain. If they make it back in office, I'm moving to Canada.

Posted by: Candy at January 11, 2008 9:54 AM

simply... I live in NJ, not far outside of NYC so my vote is going to Rudy 08!!

Posted by: Darren at January 11, 2008 10:03 AM

Hey how about a McCain/Lieberman ticket?
Sheesh, I really don't know. I singularly unimpressed with the entire lot.

Posted by: Maribeth at January 11, 2008 10:04 AM

Hubby and I IM next to each other at the coffee table...so glad to know we are not the only weird ones....the wedgie thing is too funny.......hoping for Obama- read his Audacity of Hope and I just think he's what we need. A fresh perspective, young. And living in NC I do like Edwards but the man just can't pull the votes in, not sure why but he can't.

Posted by: Greta at January 11, 2008 10:09 AM

I'll be casting a vote for myself this time around. I think I'd make a damn good president... First order of business would be to write a new national anthem. Hopefully something with the words, "Hot damn!" in it.

Posted by: GreenCanary at January 11, 2008 10:17 AM

I live in NJ not too far outside NYC also, which is why I'm NOT voting for Rudy. He's a fraud and if I have to hear one more comment about 9/11 from him - ugh. Please. Consider this: the NYC firefighters (and their international union) do not support Rudy or his version of 9/11. America's mayor my a$$.

I'm on the fence for Super Tuesday. Leaning towards Obama right now, but I'd love an Obama/Edwards ticket. In fact, I'd vote for Edwards if I thought it would make a difference, but I think this race might really be between Obama and Hillary and I'm not really a Hillary fan. I like her better than any of the Republican nominees (although I like McCain to an extent - he certainly seems like a straight shooter, if only I agree with him on the issues), so if she's the Dem nominee I'll probably vote for her in the general election.

Posted by: erin at January 11, 2008 10:25 AM

Next President? Dennis Kucinich of course.

I can dream, can't I?

Thanks for delurking over on "granny" and have a great weekend.

Posted by: ann adams at January 11, 2008 10:25 AM

When I help my 3 year old daughter pull up her undies, she sometimes says "Oh mommy, you just gave me an atomic wedgie." I think she learned it from her big brother. It cracks me up everytime.

I think that's pretty hot that you and your wife IM each other. I tried to get hubby to sign on to Yahoo but he doesn't :(

Finally, I think I should be President. I have all the answers but I am so humble, you would never know it. I can make the world a better place though. I don't need a career in politics, in fact, I'm thinking that's detrimental... just saying.....

You promised not to judge!

Posted by: august at January 11, 2008 10:58 AM

I'd vote for a Shatner/Rollins ticket. Shatner could charm his way through any negotiation, and no one would dare cross him with Henry Rollins at his side. He'd just give him that look -- you know, the don't even think of f#$%ing with me -- and we'd have peace for eternity.

What do they call the First Lady of the Vice-President? Because that would totally be me. ;)

Posted by: krystyn at January 11, 2008 11:15 AM

Obama, because I say so. ;)

And, that is an ADORABLE weekly best moment that should totally wipe away the worst moment in your long term memory.

Posted by: Poppy at January 11, 2008 11:25 AM

Our next president should be a 250-pound black woman because she could fly to the middle east, stand in front of each of the respective leaders of middle-eastern countries, and declare her willingness to personally beat their asses if they don't start playing nice. And there would be no doubt in any of their minds that she would totally do it, too.

I think she could get away with running as an Independent.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at January 11, 2008 11:38 AM

Sure people can tell you who they are voting for but tell you Why? Yeah, right. People know more about the happenings of Miss Brit than they do about the actual issues. I think too many people make their choices based on sound bites and what Oprah tells them. Bah! I'm moving to Canada. All my sexy blogger friends live there, anyway.

Anyway, I want Kuchinich. Here are just a few reasons why:

He wants a universal, single-payer, not-for-profit health care system.
He voted against the war in Iraq.
He is against abortion but HE IS PRO-Choice, and yes that makes a hell of alot of sense.
He believes we should cut the pentagon budget 15% and give 75 billion more to education.
He'll eliminate no child left behind.
He believes in instituting sex ed in schools, and aids prevention.
He wants a universal pre-k.

Sound good? Check out more here, http://www.ontheissues.org/Dennis_Kucinich.htm#Environment

Sorry to highjack your awesome site with my rantings.

Posted by: kelly at January 11, 2008 11:46 AM

I love Charlie Huston. For president.

Posted by: sue at January 11, 2008 12:09 PM

I'd like to see Hillary Clinton as our next president but I'd have no problem voting for Obama as my second choice. My third choice is anyone else (not Republican).

Posted by: Cindy at January 11, 2008 12:16 PM

a democrat ;)

Posted by: ali at January 11, 2008 12:37 PM

Right now I'm leaning towards Obama - I feel like I know the most about him, he's the kind of guy I can get behind, and I agree with him on a lot of the big issues. However, I'm wondering if I think that because I live in Chicago and so I've heard more about him than I would have otherwise.

I sort of want to be a Hillary supporter, you know, go chicks and all that, but she just annoys me on some level I can't define. I don't know if it's because I'm all, "Woo! Obama!" or what, but I'm disappointed that a serious female presidential candidate isn't getting me more excited. That said, if she won the nomination, I'd be very glad to see her in office over the Republican choices.

Posted by: Dawn at January 11, 2008 12:52 PM

Hi there,

Just checking in to see how you are doing. Wow. Lots going on with you all.

The hubby and I IM each other too. But I'm upstairs checking e-mail and he's downstairs on the couch. I thought that was funny. You guys? In the same room IM-ing? Too funny.

Posted by: motherofbun at January 11, 2008 2:05 PM

Jed Bartlett

(but I'm Canadian, so what do I know?)

Posted by: Kathryn at January 11, 2008 3:09 PM

I know it's impossible but I want Big W again because I think he is freakin' hott. Mmmmmmm. Yum. He is fine. What? What?

Posted by: leilani at January 11, 2008 3:38 PM

I may be a proud Canuck chick but I swear I know more about American politics than our own.
Lately, here, I always feel like I'm just trying to vote for the lesser of two evils!
If I were an American I think Obama would get my vote.

I hadn't heard that about the little Spears..I didn't realize he was an older dude...eeewwww on all levels!!

Posted by: Judy at January 11, 2008 3:50 PM

i have loved obama since before he announced his candidacy, both for his humility and his desire to create honest government. anyone who tackles an oxymoron like that has some grit.

but sadly, i have developed a secret crush on john edwards in the last few weeks that has left me feeling both guilty and disappointed. i abhor drug companies and the insidious ways that they have corrupted our politics, and though obama is very well aware of this, edwards just seems to be more angry about it. and i kinda like a bit of anger. it motivates.

its a conundrum, to be sure. it was much easier when i had my eggs all in one basket.

either way, i vow to shut my face entirely so long as we don't spend another 4 years under a republican administration. ok, or a hillary one. (i don't mean her any disrespect. its a personal thing.)

Posted by: jessica at January 11, 2008 4:23 PM

I'm still pretty undecided about the president thing. Mostly, my opinion is either "please god no, not him," or "eh, I guess could live with him," but I have not put in enough effort to have a real favorite. Generally, I think there are very few candidates, and none with a legitimate shot, who would be a step down from what we've got now, anyway. I guess that's why it's good I live in a state so far down on the primary list, it doesn't much matter until we get to the big show in November.

And, just how does one give a wedgie to someone in a diaper? That must take some wedgie-talent.

Posted by: Stephanie at January 11, 2008 4:42 PM

The election fascinates me ! What a show. So far it's an amazing aray of candidates through religion, to sex, to colour. At least they are all focused on change. Right. Anyway, I would hope for one of the Democratic candidates but I fear that the Christian Right will vote through their judgemental eyes and not their loving hearts. Oh well, it can't be worse than the status quo right ? Even though I don't have a say, I care because it is the most important election in the world. The results will have global reprecussions. Peace !

Posted by: Heather at January 11, 2008 4:56 PM

I'm still on the fence about who I'm voting for -- good thing I've got a while to think about it. I do know that I will absolutely NOT be voting for Huckabee. I'm sorry (well no I'm not), but anyone who says it is not our responsibility to question a war while we are in the midst of it should NEVER be allowed to become president. For cripes sake, if no one ever took the time to question/think about/evaluate and reevaluate wars DURING them they would go on forever and ever and ever...

Posted by: Rachel at January 11, 2008 10:39 PM

Oh boy are you in for it. You are having a boy and unfortunately that means MANY MANY more moments from hell like the one you experienced when Mia fell. I cringed reading the description and felt it in my bones because Dylan has had so many of those that I don't have enough fingers and toes to count them on anymore. Each one makes me sick to my stomach and some make me scream inside. Like the time he fell out of bed after his nap and when I got to him, screaming of course (him not me), he had a bloody nose. Then there was the time just a week ago when he could barely walk for 24 hours after a fall. OH GOD BOYS ARE SO MUCH MORE ACCIDENT PRONE. I wasn't prepared for that. And now I have TWO! So look at the skull crack experience as a trial run. I'm so glad she's okay. But no, that sound will never leave your brain. It'll just be amplified by more from your son.

Posted by: Heather at January 11, 2008 11:38 PM

I am voting for Guiliani in the Florida primary and hope he can hang on through Super Tuesday and really gain ground on McCain. I am choosing Guiliani because I think the most pressing issue for Americans is safety against terror in all forms. Guiliani will hold strong in Iraq and build a stronger force against illegal immigration. My true hope is that he commissions the wall to be finished and creates a new division of the military solely dedicated to border patrol (like the coast guard but for the border). I could go on further, but those are my major issues. If he makes it to the nomination, I would prefer a Guiliani/Romney ticket. While I like what Guiliani has done with the welfare programs and work issues in NYC, I think that his main focus would be combating terrorism, so all the economic and social issues would be well handled by Romney and staff. I would feel very comfortable with the future of America with them running our country. I noticed most of your comments were from people supporting Obama and the change he is bringing. If you are voting for him, or know anyone who is, can you please describe exactly what the change is? I have listened to many of his television appearances and debates, but for the life of me I can never figure out what he stands for or what he will do as president. It all seems like a bunch of hot air to me. I just don't get it. Sorry to take up so much of your comment section, but I just wanted to put in my two cents.

Posted by: Tess at January 12, 2008 12:26 AM

Barack Obama, simply because I've read up on all of his positions and such, and I agree with 99% of what he stands for.

Posted by: Stephanie at January 12, 2008 9:14 AM

Many of us Clevelanders and Ohioans just laugh when Dennis Kucinich's name comes up. I love some of his ideas (especially since I'm a teacher and the No Child Left Behind Act is ridiculous BS made up by politicians who haven't a clue about education), but they'd never fly with the entire nation.

Aside from that, even though I'm not a very political person, we sure as hell need a change in this country. I'll be voting Democrat as I always have, and I'd vote for either Hillary or Obama -- just based on what I've actually chosen to pay attention to about them. I'll have a more definitive answer further down the road.

And Mia and Wedgies? Awesome. Simply awesome!

Posted by: ironic1 at January 12, 2008 1:18 PM

Dennis Kuchinich. However, since he's not going to likely be a choice I would have to say Obama. Clinton or Edwards would work too. No preachers and no Republicans. And HELL NO to Republican preachers.

Posted by: Stella at January 12, 2008 1:21 PM

Dennis Kuchinich. However, since he's not going to likely be a choice I would have to say Obama. Clinton or Edwards would work too. No preachers and no Republicans. And HELL NO to Republican preachers.

Posted by: Stella at January 12, 2008 1:21 PM

I'm a moderate Republican, and I've signed on with Romney. Huckabee is my 2nd choice. I've got concerns about McCain's health, so he's my 3rd choice. Guiliani is not to be trusted, and in my opinion isn't even in the running. And Thompson has said he's not really that interested in being president -- ummm.... why in hell is he running then? Dumbass! It'll be pretty interesting to see who the Democratic nominee will be but I'm praying it's not Hillary. She skeers me!

Posted by: coolchick at January 12, 2008 1:22 PM

I'm having such a hard time with this election. You would think out of the, what, 20? candidates out there, I'd be able to find one that I fully agreed with, right? Especially since I'm not strictly a party-voter, so I'm looking at both Repubs and Dems.
But the more I research, the more I find myself disliking all of them on certain issues. It's making my brain hurt.

Posted by: Amy at January 12, 2008 4:52 PM

I'm a bleeding-heart liberal and all, but I'm still saying McCain. I guess I think that he's the most rational of the lot.

Hillary is second, Obama is third, but those two keep getting switched around.

Posted by: Angela at January 12, 2008 7:02 PM

I loved Half the Blood of Brooklyn too. I am reading the second Henry Thompson book right now. Great fun fast reads.
By the time the primaries hit NC I am not sure I will really even have a choice. It will not be a republican, it will definitely not be a libertarian (ron paul, cough hack), it will not be someone younger than 35 or someone not born in a country other the US. That's as far as I know at this point.

Posted by: Arwen at January 13, 2008 11:22 AM

I'd prefer we declare a do-over on the whole campaign, except then we'd be stuck with Georgie-boy that much longer. I really don't know what will happen when I get to the polls because I really think there's no one worth having right now. I may just vote for Curious George. It would make my 2 year old happy and let's face it, they're all a bunch of monkeys anyway.

Posted by: hrmommy at January 13, 2008 7:40 PM

My favorite celebrity gossip site is calling Amy Winehouse; Albino Wino. Hilarious.

And the plot thickens for those silly Spears people.

Mia giving you a wedgie is hilarious.

My son recently started saying "I'll give you a nickle if you tickle my pickle." He thinks it's so funny. Me, not so much.

Posted by: Nila at January 14, 2008 6:02 AM

Hi! Thanks for delurking!

We have "Monster Wedgies" distributed (and occurring naturally) in our house! Those are extra big! :)

Posted by: Wendy at January 14, 2008 11:33 AM


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