February 19, 2008

Randomness in Five Acts

Look, Mia is doing great being a big sister and all and Owen a pretty fantastic sleeper. But that doesn't mean we're getting a full night's sleep or anything. So, this week while I'm still at home, not working at work but, rather, working at home trying to keep two kids and a recovering wife alive and kicking, don't expect a great deal of coherent thought. Expect randomness. Like this.

Randomness Part I
Yesterday as I was browsing some sight or another, a banner ad threatened me with a weekly email from Ann Coulter. Of course, they phrased it in such a way that it was supposed to sound like something that I'd enjoy. It was then that I asked out loud, "what the fuck did I ever do to you, Internet?" I haven't received an answer.

Randomness Part II: The Randomness Strikes Back
Speaking of the Internet, I really hope you guys are going to give me a collective pass on stopping by your blogs this week. I'm pretty much the worst commenter ever this week but, you know, I've got my hands full.

Randomness Part III: Randomness Takes Manhattan
Over the past couple of weeks the iPod Touch Beth gave me has truly paid its dues. It's been showing my daughter YouTube clips of the Backyardigans, playing some great old music for me as I try to rock a newborn to sleep and run episodes of television shows when I can't sleep myself. For some reason, I latched onto October Road the other day and downloaded both seasons of the show. The show itself is terribly acted, not always entirely well-written, and a little silly. But I love it. I've got six episodes left and I'm kind of upset about that.

Randomness Part IV: The Final Chapter
Over the weekend, my 8 month old niece came over. Mia was in heaven. Not only did she have a baby brother but a marginally mobile cousin under her control. It was then, looking at the three of them crammed into one of our living room chairs, that I realized how big Mia has gotten. I don't know where the time has gone.

Randomness Part V: Son of Randomness
I've been living in a pair of jeans I bought a month or so ago. They're great. Except for one tiny thing. They're button-fly. I feel so very 1991 in them. They're a pain in the ass to, well, unbutton when I have to, well, unbutton them so I can, uh, drain the lizard, so to speak. Is it wrong that I've just started leaving them open? And that I haven't shaved in a week and a half? And that I think I've been going out of the house looking like a perved-up Grizzly Adams? Dadhood is sexy.

Posted by Chris at February 19, 2008 8:23 AM

I, for one, think you need to post a picture of yourself with that beard growth going on and the button fly jeans so we can judge for ourselves your gizzly adamsisk self.
You do have a beautiful family Cactus!!

Posted by: Trish at February 19, 2008 8:29 AM


I bet your button fly version of Grizzly is teh Hott.

Go be a Dad. We can carry on without major Cactus Attention. You have little cacti to tend to!

Posted by: Julia at February 19, 2008 8:45 AM

I got addicted to October road after Soapnet showed a marathon the day after Thanksgiving. It really is terrible.

So, who do you think Sam's father in? And, why does everyone call the main character Hannah Jane? Nobody calls me Jodi Michelle.

Posted by: jodi at February 19, 2008 8:55 AM

Hey, maybe you should drop by the bathroom at work in that outfit (scary beard, open fly) and maybe you could star in some other guy's weird-bathroom-denizen blog posts. Just a thought.

Posted by: alison at February 19, 2008 9:00 AM

"perved up Grizzly Adams" That made me really laugh. You are bringing sexy back.

Posted by: alfredsmom at February 19, 2008 9:00 AM

Stop using the baby as an excuse to ignore us. That's just low, man.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at February 19, 2008 9:07 AM

Don't ask why with all the wondrous things you've written about the joys of family and fatherhood, I'm focusing on your button fly, but I feel compelled to give you some manly-man advice.

First, writer-to-writer it's not wise to say that you like your button fly jeans except for one tiny thing. Much better if there was one large problem weighing you down. And if you'd stop getting distracted by clowns in the men's room, you'd see that there are many non-clowns who prefer to go over the fence than through the gate. In fact, Jockey (a mass marketed brand) sells a whole range of no-fly underwear.

Having provided you with all that helpful life direction, could you do me one tiny (this time it is tiny) favor in return. Please tell me how I can get that weekly email from Ann Coulter. Raving lunacy is sexy too.

Posted by: Marshall at February 19, 2008 9:08 AM

Button-fly jeans go against nature. They're just wrong. Also, I'm going to go ahead and start a blog so I can complain about your not reading it. It seems like the right 'next step' in our relationship at this point.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at February 19, 2008 9:21 AM

Ah I bet you do not look as bad as you think?! But ugh button fly - that would suck (coming from a pregnant lady who just started wearing maternity pants again and is sort of LOVING the elastic waist bands...

The Coulter thing would scare the crap out of me too. Like can they find me THIS easily?!?! EKK!

Posted by: Christina at February 19, 2008 9:25 AM

The only time my hubby liked his button-fly jeans was when -I had difficulty unbuttoning them-! haha

I so miss rocking our babies when they were little. We never rocked them to sleep because we felt it was important to let them learn to put themselves to sleep. It worked out pretty well, but we did lots of rocking and bonding at other times. I miss that. Darnit!

Posted by: Suzy at February 19, 2008 9:30 AM

Pictures of the beard! And of you with Owen!

Posted by: GreenCanary at February 19, 2008 9:39 AM

I agree with Green Canary. I'd like some Daddy/Owen pics please!

Posted by: Maribeth at February 19, 2008 10:16 AM

I think randomness and grizzly adam-ness is perfectly expected and acceptable.

Just post daily pictures of Mia and Owen and we'll be okay ;)

Posted by: Jules at February 19, 2008 10:37 AM

"perved up Grizzly Adams" is just a lovely, descriptive phrase. And not at all the real you.

Posted by: bad penguin at February 19, 2008 10:55 AM

I think being a new parent in general allows you to dress in all manner of dishevelment (sp?). I know most new moms spend a good deal of time in pajama pants post-labor so why can't new (exhausted) dads be allowed the same sort of slack. I think it's acceptable.

Posted by: claire at February 19, 2008 10:59 AM

I've always wanted to have a week or two to go grizzly and see just how horribly patch work my kinda-beard would be. Let's see yours. :)

We make birthday videos for the kids... a year of pictures and movie clips to music (windows movie maker, super simple) and we watch them from time to time with the kids. It's enough to make you REALLY miss the baby days. They're still cute though, even at 2 and 4.

Posted by: Brad at February 19, 2008 11:07 AM

I hear ya about October Road.

It's fine that you don't visit my blog. Just know that you won a bunch of Poppy awards. I'll send you a link in email so that if you ever have time you can stare at it, but if you never do that's totally cool too. I know you're a winner, good enough for me.

Posted by: Poppy at February 19, 2008 11:35 AM

OMG button flies. My mom loves to buy me things every once in awhile. Things that I would not normally buy myself. A couple pairs of button flies for one. Oh and then theres the FUBU jersey. We won't even get into the shoes she gets me. I love her with all my heart but I wish she would realize that I am not interested in being in with the new fashions.

Yes I realize those are not exactly "in" anymore, but at the time I received them they were the hottest things going.

Posted by: Jeff A at February 19, 2008 12:26 PM

The Boy was complaining about the prevalence of button-fly jeans a couple of months ago, and I couldn't believe it. I think I asked him if we'd gone back to 1991 and no one had told me. Of all the random-ass things to bring back, button-fly jeans? I don't get it. I'm just glad they haven't come back on the women's side, because button fly + potty emergency = no fun.

Posted by: Dawn at February 19, 2008 1:20 PM

Okay. So that Ann Coulter thing made me laugh. Then gag a little because ewwwwwww.

You are forgiven for not stopping by. You've got a good excuse :-)

Posted by: samantha jo campen at February 19, 2008 1:56 PM

RE: button fly jeans

sooo much better than zippers. you'll see the light. i practically live in a pair of button fly lucky's and it seems to be faster getting to the loo than unbutton, unzip. if you just grab the corner of the pants, i guess looking down, the little corner tab to the right of the top button, and pull a little up and to the left you can zip em right off.

also, they are much more commando friendly for obvious reasons...

Posted by: Jared at February 19, 2008 2:18 PM

i'm a closet October Road fan too.. :)

Posted by: ali at February 19, 2008 2:26 PM

So ya know "Knights Ridge" (October Road) is really my town. Wathced them film an episode even. They didn't come back for the second season, but they still use the exteriors shots for the in between scenes. So the big courthouse clock, and the two church steeples - that's my town.

Posted by: Meredith at February 19, 2008 3:47 PM

Considering I don't think you've ever left me a comment before, you are totally forgiven for not leaving me one this week.

He's beautiful, by the way. But then you knew that.

Posted by: Candy at February 19, 2008 4:56 PM

You and your dadhood randomness crack my ass up! I imagine that you speak very closely to your writing style, as I do, and if I were in close proximity to you when you make observations as you did in this post, I imagine that I would be constantly having fits of laughter... complete with tears from laughing so hard.

Even with child #2 taking over your life, you're still hilarious. Thanks for the laughs, dude.

Posted by: ironic1 at February 19, 2008 7:28 PM

Walking around with your button-fly unbuttoned? On purpose? Looking like a "perved-up Grizzly Adams?" This is definitely not the Cactus I once knew...but I think we're all okay with that. :)

(And plus, there's nothing wrong with looking a LITTLE pervy. Or at least for a short period of time.)

Posted by: Zandria at February 19, 2008 11:09 PM

Trust me... time will NOT slow down so enjoy every moment...

PS. Edwin Button Fly? That's all I can think of for 'back then'! LOL...

Posted by: Holly at February 20, 2008 9:00 AM

I think we need photos if we're going to answer your questions.

Aren't button fly pants preferable? You couldn't catch anything in it the way you could in a zipper.

Posted by: Maria at February 20, 2008 9:00 AM

You're absolutely precious, worrying about commenting with a toddler, a recovering wife, and a newborn to take care of.

But hee, button-fly jeans. I mean, yes, you get a pass because of all the aforementioned responsibilities ... but that doesn't mean I don't still get to laugh. That reminds me of that SNL parody ad for three-leg jeans: "A leg and a leg and a leg and a leg and a leg..."

Posted by: Fraulein N at February 20, 2008 9:10 AM

The Cactus as a "perved out grizzly adams"? Pics please.

Posted by: ocdcontrolfreak at February 20, 2008 10:24 AM

I love October Road so much that I've latched on to the phrase "What Goes On?" and use it often!!

Posted by: Darren at February 20, 2008 9:41 PM

Dude, I love October Road!

"terribly acted, not always entirely well-written"

Well, I'd like to argue here but okay.
I still love it.

Posted by: Jenn at February 21, 2008 12:35 PM

A weekly email from Ann Coulter? One every leap year would be too much for me. I get the shivers just thinking about it. Blech.

And DUDE. I too am addicted to October Road. Why? I can't explain it, but I'm glad I finally found you and some of your commenters who will also admit to enjoying it. I've even gone so far as to post about it a few times. I'm pathetic.

Posted by: AMomTwoBoys at February 21, 2008 7:55 PM

I guess that to receive the business loans from banks you must present a good reason. Nevertheless, once I've received a auto loan, because I wanted to buy a bike.

Posted by: GilesTracey19 at April 7, 2010 3:17 PM