March 14, 2008

The Weeklies #27

The Weekly Most Ridiculous Moment. This whole week has been a seemingly endless string of exhausting and mostly ridiculous moments. It would be hard to pick just one.

The Weekly Amount Of Money I Paid When I Decided to Suck It Up And Pay My Speeding Ticket. $132.50

The Weekly Words. Implemented, comprehensive and ensure. I'm writing a document that is, by design, long-winded like me. I have used those three words more than I thought possible.

The Weekly Reads. I tackled two books this week. The first was nothing but classic pulp fiction in the form of Richard Stark's Lemons Never Lie. Can't you tell how awesome it was just by the title? The second was Joe McGinniss' slightly more serious The Delivery Man. There was more than one blurb on the jacket that mentioned Bret Easton Ellis. I was skeptical and initially didn't at all agree. But the reviewers were onto something with their comparison. It falls apart, though, in that Ellis' novels are typically cold, bleak. They're populated with characters you really don't like doing morally questionable things. McGinniss' creation finds people you kind of like doing morally questionable things and you hope they can somehow come back from the brink but you wouldn't bet on it. The Delivery Man is a great read and a wonderful first novel.

The Weekly Music. Ever since one of his songs was featured on Grey's Anatomy (yes, I'm a lemming), I've been meaning to find something by Joe Henry. I picked up Civilians though I was a little skeptical based on the insanely divergent labels applied to Henry in reviews - country, folk, crooner, cabaret, folk and blues. Turns out they were all correct. The craziest thing is that it all works. Civilians is a fantastic album. During my hunt for Henry, I happened upon Strange Weirdos - Music Inspired by the Film Knocked Up by Loudon Wainwright, also featuring Joe Henry. Admittedly, I never saw the movie but the album is damn good. And so is Wainwright (who's also Rufus' dad).

The Weekly Schadenfreude. Two words - Eliot Spitzer. Three words - eighty thousand dollars. Three more words - for a hooker. One more fancy hyphenated word - dumb-ass. Maybe the worst thing about the whole thing is the math - there are estimations out there that he spent up to $80,000. What could she have possibly have done in bed that was worth $80,000?

The Weekly Hypothetical Question. You find a sack of money. It contains $20,000. If you take it, you will not get caught. You don't know exactly where it came from but you can be assured that it's not coming out of any individual's pocket. Do you take it and live with whatever guilt you might have? Or do you take the money and enjoy spending it?

Posted by Chris at March 14, 2008 6:45 AM

well, with the bushconomy what it is right now, the temptation to keep it would be pretty overwhelming -especially with the twins on the way. I have such an overdeveloped guilt complex (typical Catholic)however, that I would be convinced that I was going to hell if I kept it. I'd probably try to discreetly find out for sure where it came from. I would be beside myself with indecision.

Posted by: ocdcontrolfreak at March 14, 2008 7:25 AM

Schadenfreude: I think it should be in all caps SCHADENFREUDE. I have one word hypocrite. He lead investigations to bust prostitution rings. I also would like to know what she did to earn the $80,000. The only thing that has been mentioned repeatedly is oral. If that is it, he is a bigger fool than we think he is. He could have gone to Hunts Point and gotten that for $25.

Hypothetical: I would try to find the owner and if unsucessful, I would keep it and enjoy.

Posted by: Maria at March 14, 2008 7:37 AM

I couldn't remember anything about New York's governor and my first thought was please God let him be Republican. Damn!!

I didn't think it was possible to be that hypocritical and that stupid at the same time. I was wrong.

Hypothetical. With my luck, it would turn out to be mob money and they'd come after me.

Have a good weekend.

Posted by: ann adams at March 14, 2008 8:17 AM

I have a meeting in a few minutes but I had to come read your question (and then answer it, of course). I'M ADDICTED.

I would definitely take the money. I would pay off whatever outstanding bills The BFF and I have, put a little bit into savings, and give whatever is left to various charities.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at March 14, 2008 8:17 AM

Yay! The weeklies - It MUST be Friday! Yippee!

Posted by: Mom On The Run at March 14, 2008 8:21 AM

That's a hard one. It's not like I would blow it on hookers and cars. I'd invest it for my kid's college education, and give some to a local charity.


I'd probably give it to the police. Yeah. Damn.

Posted by: Brad at March 14, 2008 8:27 AM

I would take the money and I would have paid your Speeding ticket and then I would use the balance for midgets and goats.

Posted by: william at March 14, 2008 8:36 AM

Yes, I take the money. The universe wanted me to have it...

Posted by: Poppy at March 14, 2008 8:56 AM

I LOVE Civilians. Joe Henry is the real deal.

Posted by: Karen at March 14, 2008 9:11 AM

Well, if the money was not taking food off of someone else's table? I would take it, and invest it. Woo.

I mean, if someone is that careless with 20K, so that it gets left somewhere for me to find it? pffft.


Posted by: Jen at March 14, 2008 9:16 AM

Hell yeah I'd keep it.
Wouldn't feel guilty either. You stipulated I'm not robbing someone, so I assume I'm robbing some*thing*. And I don't care as much about that.

Posted by: caleal at March 14, 2008 9:19 AM

Yeah, what was Eliot Spitzer thinking? He must have known that all of the people out there who he has pissed off over the years would be looking for a reason to come after him. Why did he give them one?

I found a new band this week that I really like -- the Gutter Twins. Screaming Trees + Afghan Wigs = good.

And given the reassurances you gave about the money, I think I'd take it, perhaps giving some of it to charity.

Posted by: bad penguin at March 14, 2008 9:19 AM

I'd take the money and RUN, laughing all the way.

Posted by: Fraulein N at March 14, 2008 9:21 AM

$20,000. I'd be at the mall so fast I'd be a blur.

Posted by: Stephanie at March 14, 2008 9:41 AM

Here's an interesting article I read yesterday that covers what's included in a high cost session (it's not what you think):

Posted by: Laura GF at March 14, 2008 9:42 AM

Hypothetically...I'd keep it and get out of the unemployment hell hole we're in from both of us being collectively out of work for a year last year and live heavily with the quilt.

Posted by: Michelle at March 14, 2008 9:48 AM

I would take the money and give all of it to the local Catholic Worker day shelter. They have an annual budget of less than $80K. $20K would change their lives and the lives of so many people they help.

Or I would turn it in to the cops.

Posted by: Lisa V at March 14, 2008 10:05 AM

Take it. Have some guilt. Pay off debt and finally finish my Master's Degree. I mean, it's in a helping profession, so that would be okay. Right?

Right? No, seriously. This is where the guilt comes in....

About Spitzer. Here's where this all falls apart for me. The common everyday guy thinks he can get away with say, stealing something small or running that red light (no Karma for you Chris!)And they usually get caught. I mean, do you watch CSI? They WILL get you! hehe. But Spitzer. People are watching you, man! Seriously. You're a public figure. You may not have papparazzi problems, but people follow your life. Illegal stuff? What an idiot.

Posted by: Ka8 at March 14, 2008 10:14 AM

I don't take it. Not mine. Didn't earn it. Blah blah. Etcetera.

I'm not condoning what Spitzer did and, honestly, find the fact that he used to be a hard-assed prosecutor of prostitution rings particularly delicious, but it's as though everyone in the media is relishing too much the opportunity to point their mirrors at him without ever having taken the time to consider their own failings.

Failing #1: They work in the media and wallow in the muck of other people's wrecked lives.
Failing #2: Some work at FoxNews.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at March 14, 2008 10:27 AM

On Spitzer: Dude, what do you think was going to happen? I mean, you make enemies all over town and you think you're going to get away with this? Should've flown to a 3rd world country for that kind of thing.

On random question: That depends. Will there be a guy with funny haircut and a cattle gun hunting me down if I take it? If not, I'll take it, but I won't spend it all on me though. You have to return your good fortune. I'll take half and do good with the other half. :)

Posted by: oakley at March 14, 2008 10:53 AM

I imagine that the $80,000 was spent on 80 hours of Spitzer sobbing while his head rested on her chest, with her smoothing his hair and saying, "There, there. It'll be okay."

He'd never admit to it, though. After all, it's better to be thought of as an adulterer than a pansy, right?

Posted by: ticknart at March 14, 2008 11:26 AM

Hmmm... "Implemented, comprehensive, ensure." Sounds like you and I work for the same company. Do we also share an office?

Posted by: GreenCanary at March 14, 2008 11:53 AM

1. Let me get this right you read TWO books this week - with a one month and a 3 year old? Amazing.

2. As for the $20,000 I take it to the local police station and pray to god every day that no one claims it in 30 days (I think it is 30 days) then I think it's finders keepers. At that point I give 1/3 to charity, and use the rest as a downpayment on a house.

Posted by: Michelle at March 14, 2008 12:15 PM

Yes and yes.

Posted by: Susan at March 14, 2008 1:14 PM

I'd keep it. With less than no guilt, more like glee. Than I'd hide it so the other people I owe more than that to won't take it.

Posted by: Jeff at March 14, 2008 2:28 PM

If I'm assured that it didn't come from an individual, I wouldn't hesitate to take the money and spend it with no guilt. Is that terrible or what?

Posted by: Rengirl at March 14, 2008 2:42 PM

I would take it too. No guilt here.

Posted by: Tuesday at March 14, 2008 3:13 PM

Um, yeah - I'd totally take the money, but I'd try to do something kind of good with it. Maybe fix up the house a bit then donate some and then tuck the rest away for a rainy day.

Very excited to try out the CD you mentioned - I'm addicted to the music on Grey's (who am I kidding, I'm addictied to the show too).

Posted by: Mandy Lou at March 14, 2008 3:32 PM


Posted by: Jen at March 14, 2008 4:19 PM

Okay, maybe I am just dumb, but why would there be any guilt, am I missing something here? Heck yeah, I'd take the money. Maybe even do something smart with it, instead of buying some great new clothes. Because you know, us SAHM's like to look good too, even if we don't need to.

Posted by: Michele at March 14, 2008 4:36 PM

If I knew for sure that I wouldn't get caught and there was no information on the bag o' money to ID the rightful owner, then HELL YEAH, I'd take it. I'd take it and spend it quietly... well, as quietly as possible.

Apparently, being raised Catholic and going to a Catholic grade school did nothing for me. Or my soul. Eh. Oh well!

Posted by: ironic1 at March 14, 2008 6:09 PM

I take it, spend it, and pray to god some dumb-ass drug dealer gets whacked for losing the money.

Posted by: Mr Lady at March 14, 2008 6:28 PM

I think I'd keep it...because I am kind of poor and it would be and big ol' chunk of stress relief. (Pay off student loans, mostly...)

Posted by: Heather at March 14, 2008 7:07 PM

I'm keeping it. I would pay off the aforementioned student loans and then buy myself an iced tea.


Posted by: JJ at March 14, 2008 7:26 PM

Yes, on the money. No harm, it's mine. Thanks for the Delivery Man, book rec., and the music recs. I'll check 'em out.

About the scum ex-gov, this is what, has to say
"If you spent the $4,300 you were alleged to have spent on the night of February 13th on books, you could have bought 172 hardcover books at an average price of $25.

If, as rumored, you spent $80,000 on escort services over the past decade, you could have bought 3,200 hardcover books at an average price of $25.

If you bought the books in state, none would have had to cross state lines to get to you.

If you bought them online, they may have crossed state lines and yes, you may not have paid tax, but it still would be legal.

These books could have been about sex. There are at least 172 books about sex. I am sure there also are 3,200.

If these books were trade paperbacks, double this number.

If you did this, you still would be governor."

Just something to ponder. I couldn't agree more.

Posted by: Jan at March 14, 2008 9:45 PM

I think I'd keep it and spend it on 15 minutes with a hooker.

But seriously, if it wasn't coming from an individual (as you stated), then I would keep it but spend it only on unselfish things (kiddos, charity, family members with debt, etc.). I don't think I'd turn it over to The Man as my spending habits have proven much better than his!

I've never heard half of the music that you listen to (snob) so I don't know if this would be your speed but I am LOVING the new Leona Lewis album. She's pretty rad!

Posted by: Mymilabean at March 15, 2008 9:48 AM

There's a moron born every minute. Ain't there? (Re: Spitzer.)

As for the money. Yup I'd take it. Spend it on something fun too. Like the midnight sun mararthon in Alaska.

Posted by: Nat at March 15, 2008 2:38 PM

Spitzer is an idiot. He spends $80 grand & gets caught. I, on the other hand, am a very wise old soul. I'd take the 20 grand & keep my friggin piehole shut.

Posted by: Lindy at March 15, 2008 5:41 PM

I love that song "Daughter."

Posted by: jodi at March 16, 2008 1:00 AM

As for the money, as long as you donate 10% to the church Heaven can't keep you out. It's like a cover charge.


Posted by: the weirdgirl at March 16, 2008 1:11 PM

If no one else suffered by me having the money then yes I would keep it and pay off all our bills and cars. And I would enjoy every darn second of it.

Posted by: SleepyNita at March 16, 2008 5:44 PM

I am just curious how you manage the time for all the reading and other hobbies with two kids. do you help in housework at all? am just asking because i would like to have the ability to juggle so much stiff as you do too.

Posted by: NM at March 16, 2008 7:07 PM

I'd keep the money....but I'd first donate 10% to charity. Then I'd probably use $5,000 to pay off some bills & invest the rest.

Yep. That's what I'd do. =)

Posted by: Bambi LaFru at March 17, 2008 12:10 PM

I'd keep the money....but I'd first donate 10% to charity. Then I'd probably use $5,000 to pay off some bills & invest the rest.

Yep. That's what I'd do. =)

Posted by: Bambi LaFru at March 17, 2008 12:10 PM

I would make some nice cleaning lady a much wealthier woman.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at March 18, 2008 2:26 PM