April 9, 2008

Goodbye Charlton Heston

I'm not a big fan of firearms. I get that in the right, properly trained hands they're marginally safer than a retarded monkey on meth with a bag full of live hand grenades. But how often are guns actually in the right, properly trained hands? I'm also growing more and more convinced that the Second Amendment contains either a spelling error or has been severely misinterpreted, and we've actually been led astray for the last 200+ years. Specifically, it reinforces "the right of the people to keep and bear arms". Now, everyone knows that Thomas Jefferson had a large collection of grizzly bear appendages. Perhaps it was his intent that we should all share his hobby and outfit our homes with similar collections of bear arms. Or the Founding Fathers just misspelled a very key word - bear instead of bare - in their furious attempt to rail against Merry Old England's disdain for short-sleeve t-shirts, particularly the ones with fake airbrushed boobies that Ben Franklin enjoyed wearing in the summer. Perhaps I'm wrong. But that doesn't change the fact that this country's love of guns is directly proportionate to the number of gun-related crimes perpetuated in this country each year.

Charlton Heston was a great actor and, in many ways, a pretty great guy. He was originally a fairly liberal democrat (what happened??) who was often the loudest and sometimes only voice in Hollywood against racism. He was Moses, Ben-Hur, Mark Anthony, battled damn dirty apes and discovered the truth behind Soylent Green. But I'll always remember his as the senile voice of the NRA telling those with concerns about gun control that they'd only get his gun if they pried it from his cold dead hands.

So what I want to know is, has anyone taken him up on that or are they burying him with the damn thing?

Without further ado, a tribute.


Untitled from rudecactus on Vimeo.
Posted by Chris at April 9, 2008 7:01 AM
Comments

Amen! Could not agree with you more on the 2nd ammendment. in fact, I think it should be repealed!

Posted by: jodifur at April 9, 2008 7:06 AM

cute video...

did you hear, our beloved flickr is going to start video hosting as well??? One site that does it all.. just in time for my bambino/a's arrival!!

Posted by: Stephanie at April 9, 2008 7:08 AM

That kid gets cuter and cuter.

I think they meant to say, "the right of the people to sleep without alarms." I mean, if it were up to me, that's what the Second Ammendment would say, and it would be retroactive so that I could go back and not get up this morning *yawn!*

BRING IN THE SCOOOOOOOOOPS!! <-- Soylent Green reference

Posted by: GreenCanary at April 9, 2008 7:34 AM

I always think of this shirt: http://www.bustedtees.com/secondamendment

And when someone's all SECOND AMENDMENT! I'm all BEAR ARMS! And I strike the bear arms guy pose. Sometimes I go "rawwrrr" at the same time.

LOLblasphemy has had some truly fabulous Heston-as-Moses LOLs lately.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at April 9, 2008 7:38 AM

That's an awesome video!

Posted by: claire at April 9, 2008 7:38 AM

Maybe it was "the right to beer arms" which would be a contraption to hold your beer. I would be a big proponent of that movement.

Posted by: Debbie at April 9, 2008 7:45 AM

I'm very curious if the founding fathers were to miraculously come back to life for a month and talk about the original intent of the Constitution what they would say about things. I think freedom of speech has been wildly misinterpreted, but I know I am glad I can exercise my right to speak freely against the government.

The right to bear arms must have been Britain's reaction against peasant uprisings by limiting who could or could not have weapons. Basically, if you take the weapons away, you don't have a coup. And remember that Britain had just gone through a leadership change in their recent past and France was on the verge of revolution.

So being able to keep a weapon, to me, should be something respected and held even if everyone doesn't want to own one or agrees with them. I have a gun. My grandfather gave it to me. I'm sure it was his squirrel hunting rifle. It's the only think I have of his. Without the second amendment, I would not have this memento.

But just like freedom of speech we have abused and not curbed the right to bare arms. Just like freedom of speech we need to look at the original intent and improve it so monkey crack heads DON'T get a gun in their hands.

~Jef

Posted by: Edge at April 9, 2008 8:02 AM

Yea, I was never a huge fan on Mr. Heston's movie work, especially the one with the apes but he never bothered me as a person until days after the Columnbine incident. He could have been a decent person and say yea, maybe what this country needs isn't less guns but more control on those who are actually touching said guns. Instead he gets up there and makes his cold dead hands speech and showed no compassion to the victims families. When I read he died the other day, that was my first thought..."did someone finally get his gun??" I know you aren't supposed to talk badly about the deceased but thats one less gun crazed lunatic in our country...RIP

Posted by: Darren Shetler at April 9, 2008 8:28 AM

I have a friend that carries a concealed weapon and has a permit for said weapon. I didn't believe him for the longest time and thought his concealed weapon permit was fake. Turns out, no it's not and yes, he carries this tiny little pistol with him. And whereas he LOOKS like a terrorist, he's actually the nicest, gruffest biker guy I know.

Living in South Dakota has been a wakeup call for me in regards to firearms. I grew up in relative naivete when it comes to guns. Never thought about shooting things really, ever. My welcome to Sioux Falls, SD was a sign at the local drug store shouting, "Register Here For a Free Shotgun." Welcome to hicksville I thought.

Well, I was wrong. These people hunt for their food and then they eat it. Now, if they were just shooting things for fun, I might have a problem with that, but since living here, I've had venison, goose, pheasant, quail, dove (yes, the pretty little things) and all sorts of varmits served to me.

And there's not much gun violence in SD. Mostly because, well - everyone's got one!

Posted by: k8 at April 9, 2008 9:15 AM

nice tribute!

Posted by: cassie-b at April 9, 2008 9:53 AM

Brilliant! Goodbye, so long indeed, Mr. Heston.

Posted by: Rachel at April 9, 2008 10:16 AM

I think that Charlton Heston Stood for Civil Rights, Not only the rights of blacks in this country but the rights that are "given" to us in the Bill of Rights.

I don't think it is fair to judge him as a "senile" old coot just for his stance on Guns. I am sure that he had opinions about freedom of Speech/religion, or the protection against illegal search and seizure or the right to have a fair trial that would be exactly the same as your views on those subjects. But since his view of guns differs, he is branded a "fool" by most people who disargee with him.

I do not own a gun. I don't think I ever will but I appreciate the fact that I have the right to at this time. (This coming from someone who has been involved in altercations where shots have been fired on a few occasions). Just like I have never been arrested but I appreciate the fact that I should be granted a fair trial.

Most states have some type of system in place in an effort to prevent those who should'nt posess guns from doing so. Those systems are not perfect but I like the fact that I as a law abiding individual have the right to Protect my home and family if I feel the need.

You and I ususally disagree on policy and politics and normally I would make joke and let it go, but for some reason this post struck me.

Charlton Heston (and hell he was just an actor and I only think I saw one of his films) was about protecting our rights (yours and mine) no matter what they are. And although your view on guns are different, and his speach about "cold dead hands" was not about guns but about protecting your rights. I think that is admirable.

Posted by: william at April 9, 2008 10:24 AM

A moving tribute. I was hoping she'd cry, 'Get your hands off me, you damn dirty apes!', but no. Maybe next time, if he dies again.

Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at April 9, 2008 10:43 AM

Yep, auf wiedersehn, goodnight. Cute vid.

I am the biggest advocate for people's rights among the people I hang with, but I think it's possible that our founding fathers were wrong in their assumptions that we would always need guns to defend our homes and gather food. I'd like to see all of the guns in the world melted, and made 100% illegal. It's not a popular opinion, but when *I* look into our future 200 years, that's what I see.

Posted by: Brad at April 9, 2008 10:47 AM

I had him in my death pool...woo hoo!

Posted by: harrylips at April 9, 2008 12:33 PM

Alrighty then
the video is cute as hell. Oddly I'm not a huge fan of the second amendment the way it stands. There could be some work done on it and I would not complain a bit. Those who want to carry an assault rifle in the back window of their ford truck might but I just avoid my neighbors anyway. rednecks

Posted by: Jeff A at April 9, 2008 12:47 PM

Keep in mind, that ammendment was writen after the British had moved into our homes so that they could fight a war against us. Having one that war,we now have the right to bear arms to protect our homes.

I live in Kansas. I have lived in the city, the berb's and in the boonies. Almost everyone has a gun. Yes, guns do kill people. But they also kill deer and bunnies. And you can't grill it, until you kill it.

Posted by: Stephanie at April 9, 2008 12:56 PM

She's so adorable!

Posted by: been there, done that at April 9, 2008 1:13 PM

Here's an idea that's ripe for the pickin'

http://www.memphisflyer.com/template/Content?oid=oid:38967

Posted by: Johnny Gun Smoke at April 9, 2008 2:23 PM

Oh that is adorable!

Posted by: Maribeth at April 9, 2008 3:14 PM

Funny that the first thing I said when I read about his death was, "So, who's going to go pry the gun out of his cold, dead hands?"

Great minds, my friend.

Posted by: oakley at April 9, 2008 4:18 PM

Your wife and I must take our kids to the same music class, we end with that same song. That video was too funny. Mia is adorable.

Posted by: kim at April 9, 2008 5:16 PM

Yeah. I don't want to repeal the 2nd Amendment, because then I could see Amendments getting repealed left and right. Bad news. However, I think the founding fathers would weep with grief if they were around to see something like Columbine.

Posted by: Stacy at April 9, 2008 6:29 PM

Agree and disagree. Sadly, you could repeal the 2nd amendment but some how I do not see that being effective in handling the number of crimes where guns are used. Who knows what has to happen for that, I don't think it is a simple as getting rid of the 2nd amendment. Society has no limits or self imposed control with anything these days. My dad is an avid hunter and owns several fire arms, all used to hunt his dinner. We have little to no respect for life in general, look at the crimes committed against women and children, many of which are committed without guns. I do not know where we could start, but the 2nd amendment seems lower on the list.

Posted by: Shannon at April 9, 2008 6:43 PM

I have to disagree with your logic. A retarded monkey on meth would have worse aim than a well-trained human with a gun. Ergo, the monkey is still less dangerous.

Posted by: SciFi Dad at April 9, 2008 8:57 PM

I think the man was probably less evil than he was myopic. Which is still dangerous. But suerly that's one of the most common traits of his generation? Even so, El Cid will always be in my top ten list.

The video is perfect.

Hope all is well, soon.

Posted by: OS at April 10, 2008 9:14 PM

I think the man was probably less evil than he was myopic. Which is still dangerous. But suerly that's one of the most common traits of his generation? Even so, El Cid will always be in my top ten list.

The video is perfect.

Hope all is well, soon.

Posted by: OS at April 10, 2008 9:14 PM

Amen brother. Amen.

Posted by: Amy at April 10, 2008 10:05 PM

The 2nd Amendment was to form and arm a militia, not partularly (sp?) the individual Americans. There have been several cases before the Supreme Court over this, and each time the Court has decided that the 2nd means a militia and not individuals. Heston did not want to hear this, so like most Americans, he ignored what he didn't want to hear. (And just where is our well armed militia anyway?)

Posted by: mary at April 10, 2008 10:15 PM

SOOOOO with you. So so so.

And when the news about Heston broke, Bryan emailed me the story with the note, "I guess we can take his gun now."

Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey at April 11, 2008 12:27 AM

Aw man. Her voice is so cute, I want to bottle it up and sell it.

Posted by: Tink at April 16, 2008 12:42 PM


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